... and I farted.
Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya.
I then suddenly became the prince of a town called Bel-Air.
I read >>244s post and became so angry I didn't even bother to interrogate him for roughly an hour; I immediately punched him as hard as I could in the face.
In doing so I broke his nose and sent bone fragments into his brain, instantly killing him. Now I have a corpse that I must drag over to Yoshinoyas. Tomorrows "beef" bowl should be cheap, at least.
i like extra sauce
>>244, are the green onions made of people too?
That's what you're getting at right?
I just figured out what bugs me about this thread's inspiration.
I have a hard time believing there are noodle shop hipsters, even in Japan.
So, I'm in China.
There are several Yoshinoya restaurants about Shanghai.
If there are any dokyun here in China presently, we must meet and enjoy some extra gravy in our large bowl.
I'll be here until next summer.
Anyways, >>250, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to DQN a while ago; you know, DQN?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people posting, and I couldn't refresh my captcha.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those DQNs.
You, don't come to DQN just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some emergency mittens, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna post in the Fatpa thread." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
DQN should be a surreal place.
That dense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped thread can carry out and be w at any time,
the previous-poster-is-a-panda mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-random, with extra mittens."
Who in the world orders extra mittens nowadays, you moron? Other than Mitten Girl, I mean?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to read it with extra mittens?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "mittens"?
Coming from a DQN veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra Rei.
That's right, extra Rei. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra Rei means more Rei than Shii. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the other posters from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>250, should just stick with releasing the emergency mittens.
Holy shit, 15 RMB? I feel like going there just because of that, and I don't care if it makes someone want to interrogate me for roughly an hour.
Yesterday I went to Yoshinoya. My daughter, being both a woman and a child, screwed off and stayed home.
Still in Shanghai. I've located Yoshinoya and will be taking some pictures. Any requests?
>>258
Ask for extra sauce. When an enraged salaryman leaps over the table to interrogate you for roughly an hour, take a picture of his face and post it online for all of us to see.
Whatever, >>655095, just hear me out, okay? It's not really related to this thread, but hear me out anyways.
I went to General Tso's the other day. Yeah, you heard me, General Tso's .
Well, the place wasn't totally crammed full of hipsters and I could at last find a seat.
So I look around and there's some stupid wigger announcing how "hardcore" he is with a 汉 tattoo and asking for extra duck sauce.
What the hell was he thinking?
Don't come to General Tso's for the sake of showing how tough you are, you idiots.
A forearm tattoo and extra duck sauce, for crying out loud...
There's even a whole group of niggers over there. All out for some General Tsao's , huh? Fucking great.
"Okay, Crystal's gonna order the extra-large!" God, it's pathetic.
I'll give you $1.5 to get out of that damn seat.
General Tsao's should be a genteel place.
That refined atmosphere, where the guy on the other side of the U-shaped table would share a witty quip soon as look at ya.
That smile-or-be-smiled at mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Wiggers and niggers can bugger off home.
Anyways, I was finally about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "I need like a LOT of duck sauce. I will pay you extra or whatever but I need, like a lot." "
...who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I'd interrogate him for a goddamn hour if that's what it takes.
Are you sure you didn't just want to try saying "extra duck sauce"?
Coming from a General Tso's veteran like me, the latest trend is this: extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. And an egg. That's how the pros eat.
Extra green onion means you get a little less chicken, and a lot more onion. It's a bit more expensive, I'll grant you.
But then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then you'll stick out, and next time the employees might recognize you and add you to their list.
The inexperienced need not apply.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say... is that you, >>655095, should just stick with today's special.
i@MnLj You seem like the type who would fit in well at my garden party, >>260
i@MnLj I would like you to know that you are still invited in the--at this point, most plausible--case that your invitation has been lost at the hands of one of my minor nemeses, the Canada Post.
So, yesterday, my dad went to Yoshinoya.While I was supposedly doing nothing, I proceeded to masturbate.
So anyway >>259, please listen. I went to Yoshinoya by a metro station in Shanghai today. Place was deserted. There were no signs announcing money off. 16RMB for the beef bowl.
I was a little nervous going in, as it was my first time in the hallowed halls of Yoshinoya and I had to order extra onions without bursting out into laughter.
I flirted with the girl at the counter, then ordered the beef bowl. With extra onions. All the while wondering if I had been invisibly marked by my selection. Then all three of the staff burst out laughing. It might have been something to do with me recieving a message exactly as I ordered, telling me in broken Chinglish I made the senders gaydar tingle, and then chuckling loudly.
With the extra onion, the price was a little higher (18RMB), but there was about the same beef.
I ate it while the waitress made the eyes at me. I finished up, smiled and left.
Next time, I'll repeat the experiment and see the reaction of the staff.
>>263 I liked that story except for the dubious romantic subplot
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should just stick with today's special.
Always gives me great pleasure to read it!
>>245 experiment with ketamine
I want to ask him, "Why do you keep bumping terrible old threads?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
>>267
Interrogate him FOR roughly an hour -or- Interrogate him ROUGHLY for an hour?
plz clarify
>>270 I agree those are shitty threads, but I'd just like to add that I went to Yoshinoya the other day, you know, Yoshinoya? I've been a bit strapped for cash recently but I heard there was a special deal on, and I felt like I could do with cheering myself up a bit. It was a little late but I thought I could get a quick bit just before they closed. But I got there, and realised I'd forgotten my wallet at home. I'm such an idiot!
Yesterday I went to Panda Express and wimped out, having a Mandarin Chicken/Chow Mein bowl instead of something more chinky.
>>263
So anyway, about ten months ago, I went to Yoshinoya at Hongkou Football stadium, you remember that Yoshinoya?
The place was deserted and you had just said goodbye to a friend on the holidays. Your Chinese girlfriend broke up with you a few weeks previously. The guilt of cheating on your girlfriend at home had gotten a little too much and had started manifesting itself. You were very lonely. You had gotten a haircut earlier that day and there was an insane number of people there. Probably because of the discount they gave in Saturdays. It didn't really matter though.
I think you were trying to game a girl into a date, but you were so pressed for time for whatever imaginary reason, you broke it off when she said you still have a girlfriend. I don't think you cared, you just wanted some kind of brief connection.
You had bought chalk for weightlifitng in a hiking shop nearby a few weeks ago. You walked Hongkou's streets and alleys for hours afterwards. You spoke to no one, and bought yogurt in a konbini. People commented on how fat you were getting.
You were struggling to find a worthy internship.
I think you would have liked to talk to the staff a bit more. I think China really fucked you up and you are still unravelling all the shit that went down when you were there.
You still don't know how to describe it to people. You are afraid of sounding weak. Even your girlfriend doesn't know about the days you shut yourself away and survived on milk. How you stuttered when you talked to strangers. How paranoid you became. How you lied and manipulated your way into sex, and lied to her in order to manipulate her into spending her life savings to visit you for a month.
You used people as objects. They used you.
...I could really use some extra onions in my beef bowl right now.
Sit yourself down and shut up, >>1.
You went to Yoshinoya a few weeks ago. You know, the one where you used to be employed? Well, there was nobody there, it was after clsoing time. You looked in the safe behind the counter. It had over 150,000 yen in it.
Oh, the stupidity. You idiot. Don't throw your life away for a measly 150,000 yen, fool. It's only 150,000 yen, 1-5-0-0-0-0 YEN for crying out loud. You have a family to think of. Family of 4, all relying on Daddy to bring home the bacon? Well, you fucked it up.
"Don't worry, daddy's gonna buy you that Christmas present," you said to yourself as you slipped the cash into your pocket. God, I couldn't bear to watch the security tapes. You fool, you could have earned 150,000 yen if you had worked for it. But it's too late for you now.
You know, prison is a bloody place. That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the cafeteria table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about it. Women and children don't exist there. You'll be about to start eating, and then the bastard next to you will go "extra-large, with extra sauce."
That's code for "You're our next victim." And then they'll rape you. They'll rape you for roughly an hour. They'll fill your ass with "extra sauce". I used to be a prison guard, and let me tell you, the latest trend is extra green onion. That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of raping new blood.
Extra green onion means they ram it in until your skin starts to peel away like an onion. The sauce goes straight into your mouth. And you start to get used to it. This is the key. Because then, it's delicious. You reach the pits of depravity. Once you're served this, you'll be marked from then on. You'll be their bitch the rest of your life.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, are under arrest.
Well, never mind all that, >>279. This has nothing to do with this thread, but would you just listen to me for a little bit? See, I went to the local Gold's Gym today. Right. Gold's Gym. And the damn place was packed so full of people, I couldn't even find a rack. So I looked around a bit, and I found a sign that said "Crossfit strongman Meet - 15% off". What the hell is wrong with you people? Are you idiots or something? Any other day you wouldn't even think of going to Gold's Gym, but if it's Crossfit, you all flock in here? It's just 15 fucking percent! 15 percent! And you're bringing the kids too. Look at that, a family of four going to Gold's Gym. Con-fucking-gratulations. And now the guy's going, "All right! Daddy's going to do the large axle continental clean!" Shit, I can't watch any more of this.
Gold's Gym should be fucking brutal. Two guys squat facing each other across a box-shaped rack, and you never quite know if they'll suddenly just start a powerlifting meet right there. It's lift-or-be-lifted, and that's what so damn great about the place. Women and kids should stay the fuck away.
Well, I finally found a rack, but then the guy next to me goes, "I'll go for 25 power snatches!". So now I'm pissed off again. Who the fuck does snatches for 25 these days? Why are you looking so goddamn proud when you say that? I was gonna ask you, are you really going to do all those snatches in a single set with good form? I wanted to fucking interrogate you. For about a fucking hour. You know what? I think you just wanted to say "power snatch".
Now, take it from a Gold's Gym veteran. The latest thing among the Yoshinoya pros is this: Smolov squats. That's the ticket. Loads of squats with little assistance onions, and GOMAD. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put in more fat, and less carbs. A large bow bowl of oats with the raw egg, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep on Smolov, there's a risk employees might write you up. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs. And you, >>279, well, you should really just stick to the leg extension machine.
Anyways, >>280, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to /dqn/ a while ago; you know, /dqn/?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had ">>150GET" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to /dqn/ just because it's >>150GET, fool.
It's only 150GET, 1-5-0 G-E-T for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some /dqn/, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150GET if you get out of those seats.
/dqn/ should be a silly place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped textboard can start a panda thread at any time,
the post-or-be-left-out-of-the-fun mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start posting, and then the dokyun beside me goes "WASSHOI!"
Who in the world posts WASSHOI threads nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to do the WASSHOI dance?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "WASSHOI"?
Coming from a /dqn/ veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, Beady Eyes.
That's right, Beady Eyes. This is the vet's way of derailing threads.
Extra Beady Eyes means more Beady Eyes than Grandpa. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>280, should just stick with watching the emergency mittens float gently down the screen.
281 dokyuns all out for some yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
Anyways, >>282, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Waffle House a while ago; you know, Waffle House?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "Free grits" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Waffle House just because it has free grits, fool.
It's only grits, G-R-I-T-S for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Waffle House, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the Texas Cheesesteak Melt with bacon and gravy." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you my grits if you get out of those seats.
Waffle House should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two truckers on opposite ends of the counter can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "hash browns, capped, diced and peppered."
Who in the world orders capped, diced and peppered nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it capped, diced and peppered?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "capped, diced and peppered"?
Coming from a Waffle House veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, smothered, covered and chunked.
That's right, smothered, covered and chunked. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra onions, cheese and ham means more onions, cheese and ham than potatoes. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll get a heart attack; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>282, should just stick with IHOP.
This is my favorite thread on all of Channel 4.
Oh god, >>>1 is from the future in 2004. I hope he posts again and tells us what is going to happen.
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was only a few people there, and I had no problem finding a seat.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
What a pleasant surprise, I thought.
I didn't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, but even so.
It's nice of the management to do these little things for the customers occasionally.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How delightful!
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." I happen to overhear.
I don't know these people, but I'd happily give them 150 yen if they needed change for the bus.
Yosinoya is a wonderful place.
That calm atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can strike up a conversation at any time,
the happy-go-lucky mentality, that's what's great about this place.
The women and children really add to the feel of the place, too.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the guy beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays?
I want to tell him, "y'know, actually, I've heard good things about the extra green onion."
I want to chat with him. I want to chat with him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't want to try ordering extra green onion instead?
Coming from a Yoshinoya regular such as myself, the latest trend among us regulars is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is my favourite way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. The employees are so nice they don't even charge extra for it.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
And, if you order this then the employees will probably remember you from next time on; it's a nice feeling.
I'd recommend it to anyone.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should come visit some time.
Yesterday I went to Gensokyo
( LΦ`) When I was your age, 150 yen was enough to feed our entire family. If it weren't for these damned high speed printing presses, we could still feed our entire family for 150 yen!
( LΦ`) I love the prime minister, his economic policy is to print a fuckton of money and give it away, as I am a NEET I am getting money by the truckload.
So I looked for the nearest Yoshinoya and it was in Arizona and it's closed. I guess I'll go to Five Guys Burgers & Fries instead. :(
So I went to Panda Express and had the Teriyaki chicken bowl with chow mein and an eggroll. It was okay.
I like the kind of bouncy pop Chinese folk muzak they play there.
>>289
There was an insane amount of people there and I couldn't get in, because Komachi was slacking off again.
Now, take it from a Yoshinoya veteran. The latest thing among the Yoshinoya pros is this: Extra green onions. That's the ticket. A large bowl with extra onions, and egg. This is what someone who knows his shit orders. They put in more onions, and less meat. A large bowl with the raw egg, that's really fucking awesome. Now, you should know, if you keep ordering this, there's a risk employees might write you up. This really is a double-edged sword. I really can't recommend this for amateurs.
Okay, so I actually made a trek to the mecca. You know, Yoshinoya. I'd read so much about it over the past decade of lurking message boards. Now I was in Japan and had a chance. It wasn't super crowded like in the original rant. But I did feel a bit stupid because I was basically the only single guy there, plus I was a weeaboo wearing an anime shirt. Everybody else was a group of friends, or a family, or a giggling couple or some shit.
I sat down at the U-shaped counter and saw there was some 10% off deal if you tweet or instagram a Yoshinoya selfie. Okay, I expected some nonsense but give me a fucking break. You social media fucknuts. Nobody should post their stupid face online. Especially not at Yoshinoya. This isn't a fucking 5-star Michelin restaurant. It's the Japanese equivalent of Mickey D's. There were a couple of annoying squealing gyaruz caked with too much makeup, trying to shoot a selfie that included both their faces and their greasy bowl of beef. You think that's fucking attractive? Do you really need that 10% off? I want to fuck 10% of your faces off.
I knew Yoshinoya wasn't going to be like the rant, but I didn't know it would be this mind-bogglingly disappointing. So anticlimactic, so boring. It was just another venue for the smoldering ranks of normal people. I was hoping there would be at least one otaku like myself. The type of person who visits anonymous message boards and knows the True Meaning of Yoshinoya. We could exchange knowing looks from opposite sides of the U-shaped counter. Maybe even have a knife fight.
But whatever, I tried to focus on my task. I was getting ready to order extra green onions, like the guy in the original rant. I was hoping that would be the secret code to unlock the cool side of Yoshinoya that I'd been waiting for. They would put my name on a list and wink at me.
But the guys next to me order first. And one of them orders a large bowl with egg and extra green onions.
Okay, what the fuck. Stop making it sound like "extra green onions" is a thing that normal people get. That should be reserved for people like me who are in-the-know. Lonely internet people who grew up on message boards. Not boring shits like you who have 500 friends on facebook or whatever.
I want to interrogate them for roughly an hour. Do you understand what you're doing? Do you know the true meaning of "extra green onion?" Do you know how many Yoshinoya rant parodies I've written and read in my time? Have you even heard of 2ch?
I gave up. Yoshinoya wasn't anything like I'd hoped. The dream was dead. So I got the daily special.
I went to Yoshinoya and had the beef bowl. It was okay. Nobody got stabbed.
yosinoya wassoi
yosinoya wassoi
Close your face. This is quite possibly the best thread on the whole of 4-ch!
At Yoshinoya, we not only serve up fresh and wholesome food, we serve up excitement.
>>1 from such a thing, me Choi To hear. Thread the massage does not matter.
During this time, I went in the neighborhood Yoshinoya. Yoshinoya.
And then I'm a person does not sit in a mess full of something.
In, well have dropped banners something I saw, 150 yen off, it is written Toka.
I anymore, and Ahoka. Fool or a.
You guys that, I'm Ne Kiten to Yoshinoya do not come 150 yen discount Shiki is usually, blur.
It 's 150 yen, 150 yen.
Something also to have Toka parents and children. Do Yoshinoya in the family of four people. Over to your Medellin.
Alright daddy TokuSakari asked would do'll over, Toka're saying. No Ran look anymore.
You guys that, the seat Arcaro because do 150 yen.
The I Yoshinoya Do not, you're such should have been more brutal.
When quarrel and the guy sitting across from the U of shaped table is not amusing even begun,
Either stabbed or stab, or Ne Ja do such atmosphere is good. Women and children are, Now go sit in the corner.
In, if I thought you finally sit down, guy next door, the Nuo DaiSakari rainy season, we have said there.
So also it is cut spotted.
Anona, I Ne Hayan extra juice Nante Kyobi. Blurring.
What, extra juice in, it was a proud face.
You really want to ask whether you want to eat the soup duct. I want confronted. I want confronted small one hour.
You, whether I Chau just want to say I extra juice.
Now if you do not mind my saying so from my Yoshinoya through, after all the latest epidemic of between Yoshinoya through,
Negidaku, that's it.
Large serving green onions Nuo Gyoku. This is asked how through.
The I Negidaku has entered into generous is green onion. Son instead of meat is rather less. this.
In, it piled high Gyoku (egg). This strongest.
But ask this is also associated with the risk of being marked clerk from the next, double-edged sword.
The amateur can not be recommended.
Well you, >>1, was elaborate let also ate at Ushisake set meal.
Okay, so I actually made a trek to the mecca. You know, Yoshinoya. Ifd read so much about it over the past decade of lurking message boards. Now I was in Japan and had a chance. It wasnft super crowded like in the original rant. But I did feel a bit stupid because I was basically the only single guy there, plus I was a weeaboo wearing an anime shirt. Everybody else was a group of friends, or a family, or a giggling couple or some shit.
I sat down at the U-shaped counter and saw there was some 10% off deal if you tweet or instagram a Yoshinoya selfie. Okay, I expected some nonsense but give me a fucking break. You social media fucknuts. Nobody should post their stupid face online. Especially not at Yoshinoya. This isnft a fucking 5-star Michelin restaurant. Itfs the Japanese equivalent of Mickey Dfs. There were a couple of annoying squealing gyaruz caked with too much makeup, trying to shoot a selfie that included both their faces and their greasy bowl of beef. You think thatfs fucking attractive? Do you really need that 10% off? I want to fuck 10% of your faces off.
I knew Yoshinoya wasnft going to be like the rant, but I didnft know it would be this mind-bogglingly disappointing. So anticlimactic, so boring. It was just another venue for the smoldering ranks of normal people. I was hoping there would be at least one otaku like myself. The type of person who visits anonymous message boards and knows the True Meaning of Yoshinoya. We could exchange knowing looks from opposite sides of the U-shaped counter. Maybe even have a knife fight.
But whatever, I tried to focus on my task. I was getting ready to order extra green onions, like the guy in the original rant. I was hoping that would be the secret code to unlock the cool side of Yoshinoya that Ifd been waiting for. They would put my name on a list and wink at me.
But the guys next to me order first. And one of them orders a large bowl with egg and extra green onions.
Okay, what the fuck. Stop making it sound like gextra green onionsh is a thing that normal people get. That should be reserved for people like me who are in-the-know. Lonely internet people who grew up on message boards. Not boring shits like you who have 500 friends on facebook or whatever.
I want to interrogate them for roughly an hour. Do you understand what youfre doing? Do you know the true meaning of gextra green onion?h Do you know how many Yoshinoya rant parodies Ifve written and read in my time? Have you even heard of 2ch?
I gave up. Yoshinoya wasnft anything like Ifd hoped. The dream was dead. So I got the daily special.
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways it was really quite a spiritual experience.
I pushed open the doors and the scent of beef broth wafted out in great misty coils.
The incessant chatter of diners merged into a low roar, like the sound of a waterfall in the distance.
Papier-mâché families of four waltzed across the floor in front of me, identical grinning masks on each of their faces.
Repressing a shudder, I pushed through the crowds of shifting flesh to the counter.
A chorus of angels descended from among the 150 yen off banners hanging from the ceiling.
In an undulating aria a glowing, maternal voice told me it's okay to want extra sauce.
I would not be deceived, however. "Extra-large, with extra green onion" I intoned confidently, with a voice like thunder.
Double-edged swords fanned out from behind the woman at the counter like a peacock tail.
I patiently waited for my bowl, then took a seat at one side of a U-shaped table.
The men on the other side were holding daggers, but I knew they could never dare stab a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself.
With a jolt of vertigo, I looked down into my bottomless extra-large bowl.
The bubbles of grease floating on the surface spiralled round and round, faster and faster, as I plunged deeper into the maelstrom.
Machine elves danced on rafts of beef, dodging the countless bits of green onion zipping to and fro.
Streams of \100 and \50 coins floated inwards like confetti.
I knew somewhere deep within the fractal vortex was the spirit of Yoshinoya.
From her, I could learn the secret, the key: the perfect Yoshinoya dish.
I had to know.
I wouldn't even mind if the price was a tad higher, or if I were marked by the employees from next time on.
I would learn the secret, even if I had to interrogate her for over an hour.
At the vital moment, however, some idiot next to me said "Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large."
My concentration wavered. The moment was lost.
I wasn't even angry. I just got up and left.
A single glance back at the steam still rising from my untouched bowl, then I was gone.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should really just stay away from LSD if you know what's good for you.
I always order my steak medium-rare. Unless, of course, I'm sitting at a table in a steakhouse with a large group of people. In that case it's not so simple. I'm a gentlemen, so I never just go ahead and order first. I'll hold off for somebody else to start, and then I'll wait until it's my turn to order. Chances are, somebody else is going to order their steak medium-rare. I'm telling you, it's the best way to have a steak. But then the waiter will come around to me, gAnd for you sir? How would you like your steak prepared?h I can't say medium-rare now. I'll look like I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll look like I've never ordered a steak before, and now I'm just copying everybody else.
This is why it's great to order first at a steak place. Everyone else is definitely going to get their steak medium-rare. So when you order first, you look like you're in charge, like everyone else is following your lead. Then the second person also says medium-rare. gVery good, sir.h And maybe he really did want his steak medium-rare. It all depends on how fast he said it. If there was even a second's hesitation, it would be perfectly obvious that he was probably going to go for medium, but he didn't feel like being outdone by the first person. gI'll take mine medium c rare. Medium-rare.h A classic rookie I've-never-eaten-in-a-steakhouse-with-a-large-group-of-people mistake.
And then it goes down the line, medium-rare, medium-rare, medium-rare. But now everybody ordering, the fifth, sixth, seventh, even if they wanted medium, medium-well, it's just not happening. Nobody's going to stick their neck out like that. By the third or fourth person, the waiter is only even asking because he has to, because it's part of his job description. Bosses always gets really pissed when waiters try to save some time, try to cast out a blanket, gmedium-rares all around?h question to the table.
Every once in a while the waiter will start off with a person who clearly doesn't know how to eat steak and they'll say medium or medium-well. And the next person will order theirs, extra loud, medium-rare, as if to say, please don't confuse me with my idiot friend to my left, I'd like mine medium-rare. Please. And it'll go down the line, medium-rare, medium-rare, and after two or three people, that first guy will realize his mistake, and he'll get really embarrassed, and he'll just shout out to the waiter, who's already passed him, and he'll say, gExcuse me, you know what? I'm going to go for that medium-rare also, thanks.h And the waiter will say, gVery good, sir,h and he'll pretend to cross out something on his pad and write in something else, but it will all be an act, because he's not writing anything at all. It's always medium-rare. The first person always changes to medium-rare after everyone else orders medium-rare. It's a science.
But then it gets to me, maybe I'm like the eighth or ninth person ordering. And I'm no follower, I'm no nameless face in a crowd. So I'll say grare, please.h And everyone drops their fork and stares. I learned this trick at my friend's wedding in Iowa last summer. The rehearsal dinner was at this steak place, and the specialty was rib-eye. Delish. Of course I was going to order medium-rare, but the first person ordered rare. I was like, what? Rare? Crazy. But then the second person ordered. Rare. Third, fourth, fifth. Rare, rare, rare. There was definitely a pattern here and it became clear to me how I'd have to order my steak.
I really hope that someday I'm out to dinner with a bunch of guys and for some reason it's my turn to order first. And I'm definitely going to order rare. And I know that that second person is just going to have to order rare also. And it'll be like dominoes, everyone falling in line, everyone getting a rare steak. I'm pretty sure that's what happened in Iowa. I think.
Anyways, >>1, please listen to me. It's not relevant to typical "real life", but. I went back to university to get my master's degree; you know, learn a little more, earn a little more? Well anyways I couldn't walk to a class from the parking lot and had to take a detour. Turns out there's now a Chipotle on campus and the "line" is out the door.
For fuck's sake. I don't remember being such a dumbass as a freshman. This is not hard, you just leave a path for people to go past. It's just a combination of vaguely Mexican cuisine that you could prepare with ingredients from the Whole Foods just off campus, you hipsters.
There's even a letter-sized Xeroxed poster for a "safe space" here. Not the real kind for gay kids to escape beatings, but the stupid kind with puppy videos and ball pits. Holy fucking shit.
"I was thinking about getting the bowl this time." Oh my God. You guys, I've got half a mind to throw tortillas at you freaks.
The campus should be anything but safe. Nerds stealing your student ID magstrip, jocks flexing their sheer physical prowess, pinko commies ready to bash the fash, none of these smarty-pants are actually smart enough to de-escalate any challenge to their preconceived notions. Campus rioting: that's what you're paying half your old man's salary to be here for. If you wanted safety you should've gotten your degree online.
Anyways, I had cleared the corner and I hear this fat fuck say "mild salsa." Who in the world gets the mild only, pantywaist? I want him to see me stare in disapproval of his obviously non-functional gut. I want to stare into his soul. I want to put the fear of God in him. Say mild one more time, motherfucker.
No, if you want to be truly fashionable, what you add is the fajita topping. That's right, fajita topping is the true way to show you know what you're doing. It does mean you get more onion than salsa. Your burrito's structural integrity may be at stake yet it's worth it for the taste aloe.
But if you order this, there's a chance the employees will shaft you on meat next time; it's a serious backfire. Never do this before your junior year.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>1, should allot more time to get to class.
lol.
I didn't go to Yoshinoya.
I went to Wendy's.
I went to Yoshinoya in Delhi once and got a Russian escort.
Does anyone here have access to a fax machine?
>>315 Do you really need to use a fax machine, or did you just want to have a go at typing "fax machine"?
I'd love to have a dot-matrix printer, for like, art projects.
I am thinking of making a project involving fax machines!
I do, in fact, have no fax machine.
Still seeking a fax machine otaku!
I do, in fact, have no fax machine.
Still seeking a fax machine otaku!
Dental plan! Lisa needs braces!
I wish they left that scene in. Just imagine if the west became more accepting of DQN. By keeping that scene in it would possibly prompt more adults to research it and get converted into DQN fans (I am one myself), in turn increasing the amount that is imported and thus increasing DQN revenues in Japan, therefore increasing the amount of content created. We may have actually had big names like Daddy Cool, who has made his fair share of VIP threads, start to produce DQN threads too. The more accepting the public is, the less of a big deal DQN would be and so we'd finally have superbly entertaining threads involving Grandpa, mittens, fancy hearing cake, and DQN music.
There just aren't enough anonymous text boards in the west, and the Japanese are leading the way and leaving us behind. Not to mention we don't get 2-ch jokes translated fast enough. Only a few high profile 2-ch jokes get translated quickly, but because we don't demand it in the west then there's no commercial involvement and we have to rely on fan 2-chers (Those kind souls), and so we miss out on a lot of the more niche jokes. I don't only read DQN for the current thoughts or even the character threads, I read it for the fantastic way people are able to post whatever they want. When was the last time you heard the phrase "the only surviving legend of socotion gomez." Never, that's when you last heard that in normal forums. You know, not to mention that "im gay" sounds much cuter and less serious when it is mumbled by an anonymous poster, versus "I'm gay".
There's things that DQN can do also that no regular text board could. Kopipe is one of God's greatest inventions, the way that a single Yoshinoya rant can have so many humorous variations is incredible. My soul survives on kopipe coupled with the cute ramblings of mindbroken DQN users. And of course ascii art is nothing compared to the SJIS/UTF art many amazing Japanese men (maybe women) draw. The text art in parts of 2-ch is better than anything which has came out of Italy in the past 1000+ years. Truly mind blowing stuff. The way they can make Aramaki Scaltinof seem so soft and puffy, the way they can perfectly sculpt Mona, the way they can get the absolute perfect amount of white space between characters and the way they can make plaintext look like the softest, most delicious things in existence. Messenger software in the west often use emoji which looks like it's straight from Cartoon Network. Whereas 2-ch users in Japan make text art which looks like it's straight from the mind of a man with the greatest tastes.
Just imagine how much more advanced humanity would be, how much we'd progress, how much happier we would be as a whole if it was just acceptable to post whatever you were thinking on DQN. The fact that Japanese man have smaller cocks than us in the west is no surprise when you consider how large their brains must be to come up with the most entertaining threads known to man.
This is the sort of future we miss out on when mentions of DQN are cut from mainstream american sitcoms.
Yesterday I went to the Shangrila Marshmallow Dreams Maid Cafe in Akihabara.
Did she have extra sauce if you know what I mean?
Did you Bangor?
Or did you hardly Newark?
332
333GET
Alright, so, the scene. We're in... I think it was South Carolina, or Tennessee? My friends and I have just finished playing in a card tournament (not a cool one, just Magic). We stop by Jack in the Box in the way home.
One of our guys has to pee. He goes in, and walks back out 5 seconds later. He's got that half smile half shocked look. "Guys, you have to come see this".
We walk in and it is just a disaster. The entire bathroom is a problem. There's a huge shit in 2/3 of the urinals, blood all over the floor... and the cherry on top is the coat hangar COMPLETE WITH FETUS in the toilet.
Well, I have to pee too, and the bathroom is already a mess, so my buddy and I back up and piss into the same urinal. We're pretty far back from it to, 3 or 4 feet away trying to get the highest arc. There are still a couple of our magic team in the bathroom watching this transpire. I don't remember who won. I think in a way we all did.
We exit the bathroom and an old black man sees us walk out. One of our group has already gotten our food, which is good. The old man goes in, and comes out with a look of pure... Disappointment and hurt. Like... "how could the human race have done this, and why would they do this to me?" and he looks into our souls with this look, as if we were responsible for all of it.
He goes to alert an attendant and I don't want to explain to the middle aged manager lady that we didn't abort into her toilet (we just pissed all over the urinal) so we grab our food to go and eat in the car. I'll never forget that guy's face though.
Anyway, that was my real life lesson in broken window theory.
>>334 this isn't kopipe but it should be, so I'm stealing it. good job
Yesterday, I went to Yoshinoya near my house, Yoshinoya.
Then, there were a lot of people and I couldn't sit.
And so, I found a banner which said"150yen off!".
SighcIt's idiot, it's foolc
Hey you! Don't come to Yoshinoya, which you don't often come to, only because 150yen off! Idiot!!
150yen! Only 150yen!
It seems there are families. Did You come to Yoshinoya with 4 family? A happy event!
A dad said "Year! I'd like the largest size!". I can't endure.
You! I'll give you 150yen, and give your seat to me!
Yoshinoya should be brutal.
Men toward U-shaped table may start to fight. Stab, or stabbed. Such air is good, isn't it? Come home girls and children!
Long time later, I could sit. Then A man sitting next to me says "Big size Tsuyudaku(Juicy)" and so on.
I lost my temper again!
Don't you know? Tsuyudaku isn't the current fashion! Poor!
Don't say Tsuyudaku with proud look!
I wanna ask if you really wanna eat Tsuyudaku. I wanna ask you. I wanna ask you for an hour.
Dont' you only wanna say Tsuyudaku?
Me,Yoshinoya expart, will tell you. The latest fashion among Yoshinoya expart is Negidaku. This is!
"Big size Negidaku Gyoku". This is an expart order.
Negidaku means more Negi(long onion) but less meat. This.
And Big size Gyoku(raw egg). This is perfect.
But if you order this, it's possible the stuff mark you. It's a double-edged sword.
I don't recommend this to beginners.
I think you beginners should order Gyu-Shake Teishoku(rice with meat and salmon) and like this.
Anyways, >>334, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to the bathroom a while ago; you know, bathroom?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner posted on the door, and it had "For Customers Only" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't go to the bathroom just because it's for customers only, fool.
It's only so people don't shoot up in there for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some bodily functions, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna take an extra-large shit." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll pay for your regular size soda if you get off that toilet seat.
The bathroom should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the sink can start a fight at any time,
the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start pissing, and then the bastard beside me goes "I'mma shit in this urinal."
Who in the world shits in the urinal nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to shit in the urinal?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "shit in the urinal"?
Coming from a bathroom veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, coat hanger abortions.
That's right, coat hanger abortions. This is the vet's way of using the bathroom.
Coat hanger abortions mean blood all over the floor. But on the other hand you're no longer teen pregnant. This is the key.
And then, it's disgusting. This is unbeatable.
However, if you do this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>334, should just stick to wearing adult diapers.
I am looking for a kopipe, it can't be Yoshinoya (thats japanese for ramen) or any overused meme. It has to be of 2 or more bun (thats japanese for 2 sentences) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really okashii (funny). Also It has to be about 10-20 internets. And the seller has to post screenshots of it first (i wanted to make shure it was okashii [funny]). And it would have been nice if it came with matching Ascii Art (WITH witty comments). OH! and it CANNOT have had any weeaboo text, or been made up. It has to be made of real-life experiences, or something like that. Also it would have be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a kopipe similar to the one im describing in 4chan, but it was 1 bun, and i didnt want my tsuri (trolling) to touch my other posts (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments is more okashii).
I used to live in Japan and my friend came to visit and wanted to go to a maid café. For reference, a maid café is a place in the nerdy part of Tokyo where people go in and basically have a cutesy high pitch voiced Japanese girl dressed as a maid serve and talk to them.
So I was translating and very uncomfortable by the whole thing but my friend was getting a kick out of it which made it a bit easier. Next to us though was this obese boy of maybe 15 years old. You could tell he was what they call an otaku and lacked a lot of common hygienic practices. So we're eating and his maid comes over and squats down next to him to check on him. He reaches into his nostrils pulls out this huge booger with a long string of goopy snot still tethered to his nose and eats it in front of her. True to character she just gleefully exclaims, "Was it good master?!"
I thought I was going to vomit right there. I was so grossed out and overcome by feelings of pity for that poor girl, I really was just totally overwhelmed.
Vel, drit i det, >>1. Dette har ingenting å gjøre med denne tråden, men jeg vil at du skal høre på meg en liten stund. Jeg klarte ikke engang å finne et sete. Så jeg så meg litt rundt, og fant et skilt der det sto "20 kroners rabatt". Hva i helvete er galt med dere folk? Er dere idioter eller noe? Dere ville vanligvis aldri engang tenkt å dra til Yoshinoya, men hvis det er 20 kroners rabatt, stormer dere inn hit? Det er forbanna 20 kroner! 20 kroner! Og dere tar med barn også. Se på det, en familie på fire drar til Yoshinoya. Gratu-faen-lerer. Og nå sier ungene, "Flott, Pappa skal bestille en ekstra stor!" Faen, jeg kan ikke se mer av dette.
Yoshinoya burde være fælt sted. To men som sitter mot hverandre ved et U-formet bord, og du vet liksom aldri om de plutselig angriper deg der og da. Det er knivstikk-eller-bli-stukket, og det er det som er så flott med det stedet. Kvinner og barn burde faen holde seg vekke.
Vel, jeg fant endelig et sete, men han ved siden av meg er, "Jeg tar en ekstra stor skål med extra kjøttsaft!". Så nå er jeg forbanna igjen. Hvem i helvete bestiller ekstra kjøttsaft disse dagene? Hvorfor ser du så jævla stolt ut når du sier det? Jeg skulle til å spørr deg, skal du virkelig spise all den kjøttsaften? Jeg ville pokker meg forhøre deg! For omtrent en helt time. Vet du hva? Jeg tror jeg fikk lyst til å si "ekstra kjøttsaft".
Nå, lær av en med erfaring ved Yoshinoya. Det siste store hos Yoshinoya er dette: Extra grønn løk. Det er det som det går i. En ekstra stor skål med ekstra løk, og egg. Det er det som vet hva de holder på med bestiller. De setter i mer løk, og mindre kjøtt. En stor skål med rått egg, det er faen meg helt fantastisk. Nå burde du vite, hvis du fortstetter med å ordre det, er det en sjans for at de ansatte vil skrive deg ned. Det er et dobbelkantet sverd. Jeg kan egentlig ikke anbefale dette til amatører.
Og du, >>1, vel, du burde virkelig holde deg til dagens rett.