hello,4ch-ians, i started this thread for people to talk about their first crush, and maybe if we give each other advice, we can make their relationship work! (^^)
Well since elementary school I had crushes but when I look back I never had a crush like my last one and is worth telling than a my neighbor in Kindergarden who moved away that year. She was also my first heartbreak, because I asked her to my 6th birthday party but she told me she couldn’t come because she would be gone by then.
On more related news, my crush lets call her Jen, came in sophomore year of high school. Well, actually we meet each other before that, but we never had a conversation longer than "Hello." But our 'relationship' began on the first day of school, when I walked in the Spanish class and say next to my friend. And to the left of him was Jen since they were friends too. I can’t remember what I said to her the first day, I probably didn’t say anything. I never knew that for the next few years she would a huge part of my life.
But as time went on, I noticed how wonderful she was. She had a bubbly personality: very talkative, funny, smart and extremely kind and caring. In essence, she was the girl next girl, nice and cute. We usually talked only talked in that class, and occasionally talked in outside of class like at lunch or just after school waiting for the bus. She had an AIM, but was never on because her father was always on the computer and we would never call each other because my parents are Indian, they are against dating completely. Plus I was too shy to get her phone number or call her.
I think within 3 months of meeting her, I was hooked. And about that time, I was better friends with her than my friend who introduced us. Probably not the case, since I am looking back from a biased perspective. But some how our personalities clicked and I could not have been happier. Back then I though teen movies could happen, and I knew that it was going happen with me and her.
However, she had a boyfriend much to my disappointment, and of course it was another one of my friends. I was actually shocked that she knew him in the first place. I mean he was a cool guy, but someone you wouldn’t want to bring home to your parents. He kept on getting in trouble, grades were never good, though he was extremely smart. But she was crazy about him. I was her friend and I thought by being the nice guy I eventually get her to like me. They dated for like a month maybe more I can’t remeber, but she was crazy for him for a while afterwards, I believe then even got back together for a bit. And even now I feel bad that I may have helped broken them up, just by telling her that he isn’t the type of person you should go out with, which is a honest answer and others would agree. But looking in back, I was a huge dick for doing that to my friend but in my defense, I though she could better, if not me certainly someone else,;he is a heavy drug user now.
But that was the cycle of our friendship: she would get a fling, ask me for advice, I would give her my honest answer, they date for a bit, and they broke up. What I didn’t know and failed to recognize was she would date everyone but me. I thought that one day she would find out she loved me and after a series of crazy events where I saved her or something, confess her love for me (a symptom of limerence). But that never happened. She would date a guy, tell me about him and then dump him for some superficial reason (she was a real superficial person but did a good job at hiding it or I was too dumb to recognize it).
Junior year, we were in 2 classes together and shared 2 others but had the class at different times. And also what happened is that she joined one of my clubs an academic club. The previous year, I would tell her about it the club and also her English teacher also the coach of the team recommended her to join it. Back then I thought she joined it for me first and then because of the coach, but it was probably the other way around. During that year, my crush hit a higher gear as well as our friendship did too. I think at that point we became really good friends and she became “the best friend I love,” but the dating cycle continued. Okay, when I say she dated a lot of guys, it was not like she dated a different guy every week, but she would have like 4 or 5 boyfriends a year, a lot but it was all innocent. I remember one guy she dated for two weeks was an another Indian, and he was a South Indian, if you know South Indians they are really dark. And they broke up, one of the reasons was the fact he was really dark. I can say that late junior year and the first part of senior year was when were the closest. I remember in Physics she would write all over my notebooks. And on yearbook signing day, she wrote a lengthy post plus randomly drew in my yearbook.
Junior year, our academic team won the state competition and we were invited to nationals. Aside for the fact that was an amazingly fun trip we enjoyed every minute of it, I learned two very important things. First, was my friend/teammate Tyler, one of the coolest guys I have ever met recently broke up with his girlfriend and also his prom date (prom was a like week away). Second, was that Jen liked him and would strategically walk behind us guys so she can look at you know what of his. Me, being the friend decided to set them up and got Tyler to ask her out to prom. And for the rest of the year they dated. Over summer they broke up because he just stopped talking to her. He actually went on a trip to Europe we was online a few times and he asked me to even tell her a message so she didn’t feel he forgot her. But after the trip, still having not spoken to her since the end of school, went to college and never spoke since.
Senior year, we only shared one class, of course it was Spanish. That Spanish teacher is the greatest teacher ever. She was like a universal grandma, very nice (Michael Jordan gave her a kiss because she was that nice) and very wise. One of the things she was proud was how she identified couples and was able to set them up. She predicted one of my buddies and this girl who he was really good friends with to marry, so far they are only dating but it is obvious they will marry. She also predicted another couple back in the day she was invited to their wedding. She would usually sit the couple next to each other and hope that they will grow close, plus she loves seeing how they interact to rid her boredom of the daily teaching. After about 2 weeks into the class, my permanent partner was her, even though she would make us change seats every month. My friend in the class, use to fix the teacher’s computer during lunch and it became a habit of him to just in the class with her during lunch to talk, again she was really nice. And I didn’t find this out until after high school but she thought Jen and I would be a nice couple. But it never happened. She actually had a boyfriend that she kept all year. I never really liked him because he was an emo kid, but I didn’t like emo kids. But nevertheless we were friends and did the stuff we did before and life went on but toward the end of that year, we slowly started drift apart and around that time, the thought that I would never be with her actually crossed my mind, though I denied it. That year’s yearbook signing, her post was nothing compared to last year’s. Plus I started to hang out more and more with a group of friends and she started to hang out more of her friends We decided to go to the same college, though her going there was a reason of me going there, I was smart enough to know that I should not jeopardize my future over a girl, I am Indian, I should study a lot and if I need a girl my Mom can just import one from the motherland
In college, we started to head in completely directions. My major was time consuming and I would spend nights studying in my room or library. Her major was relatively easy and she would find time to go out and party, drink, flirt, etc. And I remember in high school she told me she didn’t like to drink, ask her now and she will pull out a bottle of Absolute Vodka. Also she took up smoking, something I never expected her to do. I remember in the academic club I told the group that if we win states that we should all go smoke a victory cigar and she then lectures me about how bad smoking was. That first semester, outside of her parents’ control, she shed her old life and started a new one with a bang. She was turning into someone new who I was not attracted to. Everything that I liked about her was abandoned in college. I started to stop liking her but a feeling of hope was still there. But what truly ended it was the fact we planned to meet each other for lunch every day. But she would then stand me up, and to the point where we didn’t have lunch for 2 weeks and the only explanation she would tell me online later would be “Sorry, I’ll make it up later” By then, I told myself enough of this shit, get out while you have some dignity left. It was painful to trying convince myself that she is not good for me and I should move on. Eventually I did, and though Jen and I occasionally still talk, I hardly see her and the only thing that really exist between us is a memory of a friendship. I really cannot look back at high school with her beginning in it.
This should have ended with Bel Air.
>>19
I had a similar experience. I know the girl I liked is no longer the same now that she's in university. She's gotten a lot...stupider I guess would be a way of putting it. I don't know if it's an act because it gets her more attention or whatever but indeed she's not the same. However...I don't know, it's hard to just let go.