Read SCIP
>>plugh
While I would very much like that, I am only a computer program so I fear that would be quite impossible.
What would you like to do now? >
> Write an open-source Linux device driver in ARC
Are you sure you don't just want to hear yourself saying 'open-source Linux'?
Suggestion timed out. Validating user command.
You obtain a BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER.
You have gained experience in your ARC Programming skill.
Note : A save is NG here. As a quality of an item is poor (23%), insurance role is suggested in case of a bad luck and is (Ύ.
Take insurance roll before using item ? Y/N
>
> Yes
You have a BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER with insurance rolls at (Ύ.*
*exclusions apply:
> make backup disk
You start making the BACKUP DISK.
I thrust my rusty dagger into the BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER to find some squids to grind on.
Your rusty dagger is deflected by the hard disks sturdy outer casing and breaks into two pieces.
Some eight-armed, two tentacles, deep-sea invertebrates arrive and invite you to join them in sexually suggestive club dance.
bounce stark nekkid on the tentacles singing IT'S SHOW TIME! from Tokyo Mew Mew OP
You are stark naked, unarmed and getting gangbanged by luscious squids.
Maybe you could forge back your rusty dagger from the two broken pieces, but you do not have proper fixing material and since your gay mana pool is depleted, you cannot cast "Source Forge" either.
You feel uneasy and slimy from all the rape. It looks like those fuckers won't reward you for your hard work anyway.
//i@EΝEjA correct translation is in progress. I need your help and it is SUNX.
An anal is in pain and the poison status has carried out. Life is diminished and [-- it continues] to [-- in] a remedy.
It enters.
>
Carry out the w
Your anus is hurting.
heal anus
You do not have that ability.
touch anus
It feels slimy and worn out.
kill Carry out the w
There is no Carry
hmm
"hmm" is not a valid command, for help type 'help command' or 'help'.
carryoutrevenge squidgang
you begin plotting a long-term plan to destroy the squid gang and restore your pride.
restore analvirginity
What has been done cannot be undone...
> commit suicide
You cannot commit suicide more than once a day, wait a few hours then try again.
>
> urinate on pagan idol
> commit suicide
Stop 0x0000001e (c000009a 80123f36 02000000 00000246)
Unhandled Kernel exception c000009a from 8123f26
Address 80123f36 has base at 80100000 - dqn1200784603.exe
> reboot; install FreeDos
Non-System Disk or Disk Error
> eat backup disk
You have eaten the backup disk and gain 12 experience points.
Congratulations, you are now level 1. Would you like to:
[] Respawn
[] Install BSD
[] Abort
> Abort
Exception Type: EXC_BAD_ACCESS (SIGSEGV)
Exception Codes: KERN_INVALID_ADDRESS at 0x00000000c00794af
Crashed Thread: 5
>Submit to Apple
Sorry, a system error occurred.
[] Restart
> Fail
> Press LMB
An AWESOME GLENZ FILLED WOBBLY POLYGON FULLSCREEN XYZ ROTATING MITTEN WITH UNREADABLE SCROLLERS AND RAD COPPER EFFECTS appears !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
> eat polygon
FUCKS: 3
ASSENTS: 3
ITS: 5979
BANGS: 3
Do you want to buy more fucks? [Y/N]
> cast TANASINN ζleζvζζζ4ζζζ
TANASINN APPEARS
[]
[ζ] ζζ
ζζζζζζ
ζζζζ[Yζ
You've selected 'N', indicating you do not wish to warp to the final level with invincibility and quad damage. Also, you were eaten by a grue.
Would you like to play again?
[ Y / N ]
> go East
INVALID RESPONSE.
PLEASE LIMIT RESPONSES TO THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS:
[ Y / N ]
/
HAMSTER
]
run iexplore.exe
> crash
You can't get ye flask.
invalid command or filename
> ?
N
WAIT! Y! I MEANT Y!
Make love to Continue.
Try to remember which game I'm playing, again.
get troll
kill jester
Sulk
age thread
This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.
No it hasn't.
enlarge penis
= Game Rebooted =
You are in a small, dank cell. You are lying on a mat made of straw. Aside from the mat, the only furnishings you see are a chamber pot and a bowl of cold gruel. You have no recollection of this place.
Inventory:
You have worn armor, a rusty dagger, and amnesia.
Use rusty dagger on bowl of gruel.
>>175
You valiantly stab the evil bowl of gruel. Your dagger breaks off in the thick glop.
You are now carrying a broken dagger. There is a bowl of rusty gruel here. You can almost feel your opponent taunting you.
Stare at ceiling.
look for a secret door
>>177
You stare at the ceiling for a while. A spider crawls across and begins to descent on its thread, moving towards your eyeball.
>>178
Deciding that you would rather not have a spider in your eye, you busy yourself poking around the walls of the cell. If only it were that easy! There is no sign of any passage in the wall, aside from the obvious barred door. There are some tally marks scratched in one wall, though, counting out 13.
Stare at ceiling for about ten hours.
>>180
The spider seems to have gone somewhere else now, and none of its bretheren make themselves apparent. After a couple hours, your vigil is interrupted by the arrival of a humanoid figure in torchlight. As it approaches the barred door, you may see that it looks a lot like Pennywise from the movie rendition of It, except that having amnesia, you can't remember that movie.
"Huehuehue, are we ready to play, kiddies?" cackles the clown in a high pitched voice, pulling a key ring out of his pantaloon pocket.
Lecture clown on dialectical materialism.
Eat amnesia.
>>182
"'Matter disappears' means that the limit within which we have hitherto known matter disappears, and that our knowledge is penetrating deeper; properties of matter are disappearing that formerly seemed absolute, immutable, and primary, and which are now revealed to be relative and characteristic only of certain states of matter." You say to the clown, affecting your most pompous tone of voice, "For the sole 'property' of matter, with whose recognition philosophical materialism is bound up, is the property of being an objective reality, of existing outside of the mind."
The clown looks baffled, but proceeds to unlock the barred door anyway, chuckling, "Well, we're all mad here."
>>183
You lift the disc containing your copy of Amnesia: The Dark Descent to your mouth and bite firmly. The disc is now scratched and probably suffered data loss, but the plastic is more durable than your jaws can handle and you find yourself unable to grind it up into bits small enough to be swallowed.
Suddenly remember that you are a dog. Eat the clown.
>>185
Yes! It all comes back to you now; regardless of your earlier philosophizing you are now certain that you are a being of the canine persuasion. In a fit of primal, coulrophobic rage, you snarl and plant yourself on all fours before lunging at the clown, your snapping jaws aimed for his testicular region.
With a high-pitched hoot of surprise, the clown falls back, the cell door swinging wide open. As you intended snack flees down the corridor, you pursue, galloping after him on all fours.
You drop broken dagger and Amnesia.
You are in a dungeon corridor. Cells line the walls. One of them behind you lies open. In the other direction, a flight of stairs leads upwards.
You see: lit torches, scary clown (moving rapidly towards stairs)
Apologise to clown.
>>187
You pause and bark, making puppy dog eyes and waggling your posterior in your best canine apology. Quite rudely, the clown ignores your efforts at reconciliation and darts up the stairs.
>>188
The undoubtedly delicious clown is no longer here.
You are in a dungeon corridor. A pair of brown furry feet appears on the stairs where the clown's oversized shoes just disappeared. A man in a bear suit is approaching.
Eat the bear man.
Kiss your little sister (in bear suit)
Undergo conflict resolution with stomach.
Prove Jacobian conjecture.
Merge sentience with contents of stomach
>>193
You huddle down and attempt to talk it through with your stomach. It remains obstinate in its position.
>>194
Operating with the mind of a dog, you find that you can just barely attempt basic arithmetic, amusing yourself by thumping a few counts on the wall with a forepaw.
>>195
You implode the contents of your stomach in a horrific Kirby-like manner, stealing the essence of the manbearthing trapped inside.
Your intelligence has risen by one point. You're still not very good at math(s) but better than before.
Your strength has risen by two points.
Your charisma has decreased by one point.
You are now afflicted with an urge to dress as a bear for unsavory purposes.
Your stomach is no longer upset.
Find a cucumber.
Go up stairs.
Chase tail to farm XP
>>197
You search the dungeon corridor. You find lots of dust and a delicious-looking bone, but no cucumber.
>>198
Despite the temptation of the bone, you crawl upstairs to continue your search for phallic green goodness.
You are in a play room. Various oversized, boldly colored toys are scattered about in a half-neatened state.
You see: ball pit full of balls, rocking horse, toy chest, stuffed bear
But no cucumber.
>>199
You aren't sure what farming XP is, but you decide that such festive surroundings mean play time, and run in circles for a while, barking and growling. You fail to slay your posterior, or anything else for that matter, but you do feel dizzy.
On second thought, go back for some bone
>>201
Play time is over for the moment, you think, so you pad back down the stairs a little unsteadily to get that glorious bone. Chomping it between your teeth, you sit up with it in your mouth, looking quite proud of yourself. It's a decidedly bone-shaped bone, perhaps a humerus, though you don't see much funny about it.
You are now carrying bone.
You are in a dungeon corridor. Cells line the walls. One of them behind you lies open. In the other direction, a flight of stairs leads upwards.
You see: lit torches, dust
Contemplate possible literary symbolism of dust.
Make bone mask from bone
>>203
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Waking with a dagger
whose blade is rust
...
Wait, where were you again? You suppose that the dust might have something to do with uncleanliness, disuse, ancientness or death.
>>204
You carefully balance the bone on your nose. It kind of blocks your vision and if you move much it will fall off, but you are very proud of your mask. If only it were a bear mask, though, you find yourself thinking...
Eat dagger. Eat armor. Eat own legs.
>>206
Dagger: You don't see it here. Last you recall, it (or what was left of it) was dropped in the open cell.
Armor: You gnaw at the armor a bit, to little effect. It would probably help if you removed it first and/or had harder teeth.
Own legs: You swallow your own legs in ouroboros-like fashion. You find that once you begin, you just can't stop, and soon you have swallowed yourself, vanishing with a pop.
You drop bone.
You unbind from man in a bear suit.
Your intelligence has decreased 1 point.
Your strength has decreased 2 points.
Your charisma has increased 1 point.
You are floating in a black void, the backdrop bedecked with stars and colorful nebulae. For some reason, you are able to survive here despite the apparent setting.
You see: cratered planet (floating at a distance), man in a bear suit (floating nearby to you)
