>>283
You climb the electical pole to get a better look at the surroundings. To the north the landscape looks considerably darker and more foreboding. To the east, you still can't make out much more of the city than the lights. To the west is a strange playhouse and beyond it a forest. In other directions are grass.
>>284
Maim Master strikes you with a lightning bolt!
You have been slain.
Maim Master collects your oversized skull as a trophy.
It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here! GAME OVER.
Read the large sign. If the sign is promising, climb down and head north. Otherwise, climb down and head east.
>>286
Large block letters read "ITER VEHEMENS AD NECEM". Normally, this is something you would blithely investigate, but your +2 INT bonus suggests that it might not be a good idea, so you take the eastward path.
You are standing in the outskirts of a large city, aglow with streetlights and neon signs that blot out the stars. The place looks vaguely cyberpunk, high-tech yet bleak.
Robotic Enforcer is here.
AK-47 is here. (in hand of Robotic Enforcer)
The Robotic Enforcer approaches and projects a drug-detecting scan ray from its single red eye slot. Not detecting any drugs, it waves you on, grating in its mechanized voice, "MOVE ALONG, CITIZEN. OBEY THE LAW."
eat robot
>>288
You approach the Robotic Enforcer and seize it, opening your jaws wide.
"WARNING: IRREGULAR BEHAVIOR." the robot grates.
Disregarding its protests, you cram the robot down your gullet as it continues to speak in an emotionless tone, "ASSAULTING AN OFFICER. RESISTING ARREST. PREPARE TO BE..."
At this point, its protests cease as it is assimilated.
Incompatible essence displaces your current binding.
You unbind from Twinkle the Clown.
Your intelligence has decreased 2 points.
Your dexterity has decreased 1 point.
Your strength has increased 1 point.
You no longer enjoy ICP.
You have lost abilities: sing ICP songs from memory, perform minor magic, invoke terror in coulrophobes
You bind Robotic Enforcer to your essence.
Your agility has decreased 2 points.
Your strength has increased 5 points.
Your endurance has increased 2 points.
Your charisma has decreased 1 point.
You must expend stamina when overriding the Enforcer Code.
You have gained ability: detect presence of illegal drugs
You have improved abilities: intimidate with a lethal weapon (+1), operate firearms (+2)
AK-47 has left. (held by Robotic Enforcer when eaten)
assume the robot's post on the guard
Grow 3 or 5 extra stomachs.
shapeshift into a cow
Go into an errand quest in the search of your 2 intelligence points
Search for illegal drugs in the foreboding forest
>>290
Feeling a little naked without a weapon issued by Enforcer HQ, you take up guard duty on the corner, keeping watch for dastardy drug dealers and warning the occasional passerby to obey the law. You get a few odd looks; apparently non-Robotic Enforcers have fallen out of style, not to mention you're carrying a pair of straw mats on your back for some reason.
>>291
A warning from the Enforcer Code appears in your mind's eye: "ATTEMPTING SELF-MODIFICATION IS IRREGULAR."
After making a few attempts to morph your internal structure, you find that you lack the requisite ability. Your Elf offers petulantly as an echoing voice inside you, "I could do this for you, but I don't know why I should or why you'd want to. Perhaps we can strike a deal? A favor for a favor?"
>>292
A warning from the Enforcer Code appears in your mind's eye: "ATTEMPTING SELF-MODIFICATION IS IRREGULAR."
You find that you lack the requisite ability to become a being of the bovine persuasion; you require ability: Perform Major Magic. You settle for letting out your best "MOO!"
>>293
Even without them, you're not too dumb to realize that those were really Twinkle's points, and that you might be able to get them back if you eat him, or someone like him, again.
With that in mind, you head back to the play house to investigate. You find the manbearsuit sleeping where you left him, but although you locate a room full of clown attire and paraphernalia, the clown himself appears to be out.
You head westwards into the forest and take a few twists and turns until your augmented vision highlights something.
"PSYCHOACTIVE SUBSTANCE DETECTED
CLASS: HALLUCINOGEN
SOURCE: MUSHROOM
REGULATION: ILLEGAL"
You are in a hostile, gnarled wood, where vines and moss hang thick from the tangled, wild-looking trees. Strange hoots and hollers sound out, from animals or perhaps malevolent forest spirits.
Pale Luna smiles at you.
Cluster of mushrooms is here. (growing at the foot of a tree)
Possible exits are north, south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest, up, down, all around.
go down
>>296
You descend into a sinister hole nestled in the gnarled tree roots.
It is very dark here. You fear you may be eaten by a grue.
eat grue
wear mittens.
>>298
A Robotic Enforcer does not feel fear when facing any dastardly ne'er-do-well, grue or otherwise, you remind yourself.
Feeling around in the dark, you search until you encounter something that moves, then use your superior strength to seize and devour it, despite its vigorous struggles.
Incompatible essence displaces your currently bound essence.
You unbind from Robotic Enforcer.
Your agility has increased 2 points.
Your strength has decreased 5 points.
Your endurance has decreased 2 points.
Your charisma has increased 1 point.
You are no longer obligated to follow the Enforcer Code.
You have lost ability: detect presence of illegal drugs
You return to your base level in abilities: intimidate with a lethal weapon, operate firearms
You bind Thorvald the Dwarf to your essence.
Your strength has increased 3 points.
Your endurance has increased 1 point.
You grow a luxurious ankle-length beard.
You need alcohol to get through the day.
You have gained abilities: infravision, appraise minerals, sense direction underground
You have improved abilities: axe combat (+1), mace combat (+1)
Blinking a bit, you realize that you can now see. Verifying the lack of any grue in residence, you exhale a sigh of relief.
You are in a system of tunnels beneath the forest. Gnarled roots occasionally protrude from the walls, and here and there you see signs of digging.
Pickaxe is here.
Possible exits are: north, south, east, west, up, down.
>>301
Equip pickaxe.
Climb up.
Pick mushroom.
Eat mushroom.
Equip mittens.
Brew beer.
Commit sudoku while having comfort increased by mittens
Be reborn as a million sentient mittens.
Decides to take the all around exit.
scratch nose and look at navel
really look at our navel
contemplate existence
feel smug
Go to treehouse village and demand booze
>>310
Determined to see your navel, no matter what, you apply the most applicable-seeming tool on hand and begin to whale on your abdominal armor until it breaks. You feel a sharp pain as the armor is ripped from your belly along with a shower of gore and intestines. You pluck out the navel and carefully examine it. It appears to be an innie.
Why did you wake up in a dungeon with a demented clown for a warden?
Why is there a city full of Robotic Enforcers in this world?
Why does pain hurt?
No, you have a better question... WHY IS ANYTHING AT ALL? You latch on to this, and consider it for a long time.
You feel quite smug for having circumvented all sense to go on this little errand.
>>311
After a while of deep philosophical contemplation, you bleed out, and, feeling that you left some urgent desire unfulfilled in life, your disemboweled, gore and vomit crusted spectre floats up into the treehouse village in search of fulfillment. Your nightly howls in demand of booze terrify the diminutive fur-kin inhabitants, and even when they attempt to appease you with vodka and berry-wine, you find that everything you attempt to drink falls through the gaping hole in your abdomen, leaving you eternally unsatisfied.
Eventually, your haunting drives off even the bravest of the fur-kin, and the treehouse village becomes a literal ghost town. You are reduced to terrorizing the next generation of adventurers with your demands whenever they come to investigate the ruins of this dismal place.
It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!
Play again?
New game ++++++++++!!
Start a new game+ with the infnite adventure DLC.
Fear not! I'm an expert in dwarven behaviour.
Go to sword in log.
Deconstruct sword in log.
Find 3m x 3m open space.
Construct craftsdwarf's workshop using log.
Dig straight down using pickaxe until reaching bedrock.
Pray to Armok that this biome doesn't have a multilayer aquifer.
Craft resultant boulder of bedrock into large stone pot in craftsdwarf's workshop.
Deconstruct craftsdwarf's workshop.
Construct still in its place using log.
Go to mushroom patch.
Pick some plump helmets.
Go back to still.
Brew plump helmets into dwarven wine, using large stone pot to collect booze.
Drink dwarven wine.
Get through the working day.
Grumble mildly about the inclement weather.
>>313
You initiate a New Game plus.
You have carried over the following from your previous life:
Bound essence: Thorvald the Dwarf
Other gained abilities: Knowledge of forest maze
Inventory:
A straw mat called Straw-mat-tan
A straw mat called Koza-chan
Pick-axe with some blood stains
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Keys to Twinkle's dungeon
Crude leaf mittens (worn)
Filthy armor with spiked codpiece (worn, -2 CHA, cursed)
>>315
Without wasting any time, you break out of the cell. You could use the keys or the pick-axe, but decide the pick-axe is more suitably dwarven.
You create a tunnel out of the dungeon.
You move to sword in log.
Sword in log: deconstructed, producing wood and Excaliblork.
You survey area and decide that Desert of Blech appears ideal.
Craftsdwarf's Workshop: built, making do with pick-axe and your +3 STR fists as tools.
You dig down into the hot sand.
You utter a prayer to Armok. Although you are not entirely sure whether Armok responds, you find that the Desert of Blech is a pretty dry biome.
You haul a boulder from your excavations back to your new workshop. At your current STR, you can just barely manage this along with your other inventory.
Crude stone pot: created from boulder
Workshop: deconstructed
Still: constructed
You head to the patch of mushrooms.
Illegal, hallucinogenic mushrooms: picked, making sure to select the ones with the plumpest helmets. How lewd.
You return to Desert of Blech.
Dwarven Wine: brewed.
Dwarven Wine: drinking a portion.
Pulsating Purple Portal opens and whisks you to ~ The Dark World ~
Crude leaf mittens disappear.
You have acquired Toasty Gauntlets of the Cozy Goddess (Burning Hand Touch +5)
You feel great.
Your craving for alcohol has been temporarily sated. Now you can work in peace, just as soon as you decide what sort of work you're supposed to be doing.
You mutter a bit about the weird swirls of black and purple lashing about in the sky overhead.
You are standing on the Dessert of Blech. The landscape is made up primarily of pink and green sugar sand, with occasional outcroppings of caramel and peanut brittle sticking up from it, and here and there a bubbling pit of chocolate pudding.
Commander Keen is here (chomping on the landscape)
Neural Stunner is here (strapped to Commander Keen's belt)
Pogo Stick is here (strapped to Commander Keen's back)
Green Bay Packers helmet is here (strapped to Commander Keen's head)
Rainbow-colored still is here.
Golden pot of shimmering rainbow liquid is here.
Possible exits are: take me HIGHER and FaR OuT.
Bring some dwarven wine to share with the man in the ramshackle dwelling.
Give a try to your new infravision abilities... inside a cave.
Fight necromancer who necrobumped this thread.
>>318
You collect the pot and head back in the direction you vaguely recall a ramshackle dwelling being. You instead find a tall wizard's tower.
You give dwarven wine to High Magus Mrzlblth.
High Magus Mrzlblth gives you pink sunglasses with star-shaped lenses in gratitude.
>>319
You head down into the tunnels. You can see quite well, although they appear to have become a network of pulsating, organic green tubes, like the circulatory system of a vast alien being.
>>320
Suddenly, Troll Necromancer appears! You are not sure of the being's past history, but you know that necromancers must be evil, and decide to blame him for a dastardly deed that's been bothering you, preparing to fight using your equipped pickaxe.
Troll Necromancer casts Stinking Cloud! There is a thunderous sound and you are enveloped by foul-smelling gas.
You are in a green, pulsating, underground chamber. The very walls seem to be alive.
Troll Necromancer is here. (fighting you)
Troll Necromancer blocks your escape.
Throw sunglasses at necromancer.
Throw pickaxe at necromancer.
Throw amnesia at necromancer.
Throw dungeon key at necromancer.
Throw Straw-Mat-tan at necromancer.
Throw Koza-chan at necromancer.
Throw burning mittens at necromancer.
>>322
You throw sunglasses at Troll Necromancer for 0 damage.
You throw pickaxe at Troll Necromancer for 2d6 damage, injuring him by 8 HP.
You throw Amnesia: The Dark Descent at Troll Necromancer for 0 damage.
You throw keys at Troll Necromancer for 0 damage.
You throw Straw-Mat-tan at Troll Necromancer for 0 damage.
You throw Koza-chan at Troll Necromancer for 0 damage.
You throw Toasty Gauntlets of the Cozy Goddess at Troll Necromancer, producing a fireball that strikes for 2d6 damage, injuring him by 4 HP.
Fireball ignites the pile of junk at Troll Necromancer's feet!
Straw-Mat-tan catches on fire!
Straw-Mat-tan has been slain.
Koza-chan catches on fire!
Koza-chan has been slain.
Pickaxe catches on fire!
Disc of Amnesia: The Dark Descent melts in the heat.
Pink Sunglasses with Star-Shaped Lenses melt in the heat.
Keys to Twinkle's Dungeon are unaffected.
Toasty Gauntlets of the Cozy Goddess are unaffected.
Stinking Cloud catches on fire! The sudden combustion of gas burns you for 1d6 damage, and you lose 6 HP.
Stinking Cloud has been destroyed.
Troll Necromancer catches on fire! Troll Necromancer is burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 3 HP.
Troll Necromancer screams in agony!
Organic Chamber screams in agony!
You are standing in a rapidly pulsating underground chamber, the green walls writhing and rippling in distress.
Troll Necromancer is here. (on fire)
Blazing bonfire is here.
Keys to Twinkle's Dungeon are here. (in the fire)
Toasty Gauntlets of the Cozy Goddess are here. (in the fire)
Unrecognizable nugget of melted plastic is here, x2. (in the fire)
Pickaxe with a burnt handle is here. (in the fire)
Troll Necromancer misses his combat round. (flailing against the flames)
Fire prevents Troll Necromancer from regenerating damage.
Touch bonfire to replenish estus flask
>>324
You shove your hand into the fire and are burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 3 HP.
Estus flask: no such item present in inventory or current location.
Troll Necromancer is burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 1 HP.
Troll Necromancer grabs your arm and attempts to drag you into the flames!
Eat troll necromancer. Collect all items on the ground before burning to death.
>>326
You grapple with the Troll Necromancer, attempting to eat him before he can pull you into the fire.
You are burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 2 HP.
Troll Necromancer is burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 2 HP.
You eat Troll Necromancer.
Incompatible essence displaces currently bound essence.
You unbind from Thorvald the Dwarf.
Your stats and skills return to their base values.
You no longer crave alcohol.
Your beard disappears.
You bind your essence to Gru'tholl, the Troll Necromancer.
Your strength increases 1 point.
Your intelligence decreases 1 point.
Your charisma decreases 2 points.
You have gained abilities: perform minor magic, necromancer lore, regeneration, infravision
You have improved ability: produce stinking cloud (+1)
You grab into the fire for the goodies, and are burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 3 HP.
Nugget of melted plastic: collected. (x2)
Pick-axe head with no handle: collected. It's hot! (-1 HP)
Keys to Twinkle's Dungeon: collected. It's hot! (-1 HP)
Toasty Gauntlets of the Cozy Goddess: collected.
You are in a rapidly pulsating, green, organic, underground chamber.
A fire burns merrily here. (illuminating the chamber and causing the organic walls some distress)
Possible exits are up, down, north, east.
You are badly wounded.
You are somewhat tired.
You mourn the deaths of Straw-Mat-tan and Koza-chan. You have lost 1 sanity point.
Commit sati onto Straw-Mat-tan and Koza-chan's funeral pyre.
>>328
Despite having spent little thought on your religious allegiances until now (aside from a drug-induced stint in the service of a mitten goddess), your grief drives you to enact a banned Hindu ritual on the pyre of your beloved(s).
You are burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 3 HP.
You scream in agony, on the edge of death.
You are burnt for 1d6 damage, losing 4 HP.
You have been slain.
Your spirit is whisked away to a realm resembling a warehouse full of straw mats. Straw-Mat-tan and Koza-chan are there, and along with the other mats, stare at you in silent, vague disapproval for eternity.
It's a sad thing that your adventure has ended here!
Would you like to play again?
Yes!
Purchase and enable Hungarian Hats DLC.
No. Tries to put the game data in another game
Yes, if we get to play as Lizard Viking.
Eat codpiece
Sail south, off the edge of the world!
>>334
You rip off the codpiece with a mighty viking grunt, exposing your lizard cloaca. Shoving the piece of armor into your mouth, you bite down.
Iron spikes deal 1d6 of damage, injuring you by 3 HP.
Spiked codpiece appears unharmed.
A few of your crew members look at you askance. This sort of behavior is usually reserved for the mead hall, or private chambers.
Licking some blood from your mouth, you turn to address the crew. "To the south!" you boom, "into the unknown!"
Ignoring the various weird and wonderful vistas that occasionally present themselves on the shore, you and your naked cloaca drive the crew to row ever southwards.
You are on the southern edge of Midgard. Across the way to the south you can just barely see Muspelheim, its blazing fires casting eerie red and orange light through the mist. Seawater from Midgard and lava from Muspelheim pour into the chasm between worlds, producing thunderous hissing and great billows of steam. The water currents are gradually dragging your dragon ship towards the edge.
"Faster!" you holler, "Over the edge!"
Lizard crewmembers exchange looks and grumble among themselves.
One lizard crewmember speaks out, "This is madness! We set sail for plunder, and what plunder can lie at the bottom of this void of doom?"
It looks as if you don't address this situation fast, you may have a mutiny on your hands.
Okay, fine. To the west! Put the bloody codpiece back on too.
>>336
"Uh... just kidding. I think we'd have more success exploring the west." you announce.
You wear spiked codpiece with bloodstains.
Heaving the oars against the ocean currents dragging your ship towards the chasm, you and your somewhat less trusting crew eventually break free from the pull and head in a general northwestwards direction, away from Muspelheim but still into the unknown.
You come across a jungle shoreline, where the squawks of colorful birds sound out and the waves lap on sandy beaches. There is no sign of habitation, but you could land the ship and explore here, or continue following the shore in search of a village or river.
Land ship and order the crew to begin exploring, then take the boat and sail alone up the shore.
>>338
You decide to disembark on the unexplored territory here and now despite the lack of any signs of habitation. After all, you reason with the crew, these are unknown lands and perhaps nature itself is ripe to be plundered here.
You and the lizardmen enter the thick, muggy jungle for a bit, and when you are sure they are occupied, you sneak off, hurry back to the dragon ship and steer it away from shore. Alone, you cannot give the ship sufficient oar power for propulsion, so you are at the mercy of the wind, using the large sail attached to the mast.
You sail along the shore on the prevailing winds, feeling sure you have lost your traitorous crew. After a while, you discover the mouth of a muddy river.
Large alligator is here (floating on the river surface)
Cheeky monkey is here (throwing nuts at you from a tree)
Befriend alligator and team up to attack the cheeky monkey.
>>340
The alligator seems impressed by your Lizard Viking charm, or perhaps is simply amorously inclined towards your magnificent dragon ship. Either way, it seems amenable to an alliance, but you soon find out that the cheeky monkey has been a thorn in its side for as long as it can remember, and never gets within the alligator's reach. It looks like getting the monkey out of the tree is up to you, but how to do that?
Nut ricochets off of your awesome fur hat, dealing 0 damage.
Command monkey to come down with hot-blooded assertiveness.
>>342
As you are a lizard, you aren't much able to do anything hot-blooded; that sort of stuff would be reserved for a Dinosaur Viking, Bird Viking or just plain old mammal viking.
None the less, you put your arms akimbo and boom in your sternest Stern Father voice, "Come down from there this instant, young man. I'm not going to ask you again."
Cheeky monkey chatters and grins, showing you its bloated red bottom while dangling from a branch.
Land on shore near monkey and keep it occupied by cursing at it. Pull boat ashore so it doesn't drift away. Use viking knowledge of burning and pillaging to set the tree ablaze. A
then use viking knowledge of rape to rape the monkey
Use "Intimidate with a lethal weapon" with a blood-stained codpiece on monkey.
>>344
You secure your ship and disembark, taking some of the torches brought along for your raiding parties. Cursing at the monkey with your best viking epithets, you light one up and set it to the tree, which, being damp, living wood, proves rather less than amenable to burning. The monkey squawks and chatters back at you as you set about building the fire bigger, until the tree finally catches ablaze.
Meanwhile, large alligator sidles up to your dragon ship, inspecting it amorously.
As the fire burns higher, cheeky monkey begins to realize that it is in danger and jumps to the branches of another tree, eyed by the alligator who hopes fruitlessly that the branch might break and make the monkey fall.
>>345
You know well enough that this first requires capturing the object of your ardent viking fervor. Strapping your battle axe to your back, you use your lizard claws to climb into the tree in pursuit of the monkey, but find that you are much less agile than your quarry, even on land, let alone in the treetops.
You narrowly avoid breaking a branch that you are climbing on.
>>346
Venting your viking frustration, you pull off your codpiece, wearing it on your fist as a sort of makeshift spiked gauntlet. Waving fist and cloaca at the monkey, you attempt to intimidate with a +1 bonus.
Cheeky monkey cowers!
Cheeky monkey has been intimidated and is temporarily suceptible to your manipulation.
expand dong
Offer to let the monkey live if it comes down from the tree.
>>348
You demand that the cheeky monkey become an employee of Dansk Olie og Naturgas to help expand its operations for the glorious viking homeland.
Cheeky monkey is unable to comply.
>>349
Cheeky monkey looks askance, but, thanks to your intimidation, slowly climbs down the tree trunk, chittering softly and piteously.
Large alligator eyes the monkey hungrily.
Furiously burning tree begins to spread fire to adjacent vegitation.
Play hide and seek with the monkey and alligator.
>>351
You line up the alligator and the monkey and explain to them the principles of the hide and seek game that amused you so as a young lizard viking.
Large alligator seems enthusiastic, but not quite in understanding of the rules, as it decides to hide the cheeky monkey in its mouth. CHOMP!
There seems to be some indecision as to whether you or the alligator ought to be the one to hide first.
Hide the alligator in our mouth.
>>353
You bite large alligator on the tail for 1d6 damage, resisted by alligator's armored skin +2. Large alligator is injured by 3 HP.
Large alligator gives you a dubious look and begins to turn towards you.
Finally eat the alligator gumbo we've been waiting for since >>227
>>355
You dissolve your alliance with large alligator.
You bite large alligator for 1d6 -2 damage, injuring it by 4 HP.
You bite large alligator for 1d6 -2 damage, injuring it by 3 HP.
Large alligator bites at you, but you evade.
Forest fire continues to spread. It feels uncomfortably hot here. Smokey the Bear weeps.
You are currently fighting large alligator. As you are more agile than your opponent, you may attempt to escape, or continue fighting.
Escape via boat and come back to eat the alligator after it has been well cooked by the forest fire.
Sing some sailor verses.
>>357
Hurrying back to the dragon ship, you push off into the water and leap up onto the deck, the alligator's jaws snapping behind you.
The ship slowly begins to move, the alligator in pursuit, though it does not manage to board the deck, instead knocking against the sides of the ship and bellowing its rage at the magnificent dragon ship's betrayal of its amorous advances. Eventually it swims away, leaving you alone, but escaping the flames on land as well.
Forest fire continues to burn on the shore as your ship returns to sea. Colorful birds and chattering monkeys flee the flames as their habitat is destroyed. Billows of smoke rise into the clear sky.
>>358
You decide to relax a bit while you gloat over the destruction of a vibrant ecosystem, and sing a rather terrible a capella rendition of Alestorm's "Set Sail and Conquer", lifting your spirits.
Hideous vulture lands on the dragon ship's mast to listen.
Encourage the vulture to sing along!
>>360
Vulture lets out a few deep, gravelly croaks and comes closer to investigate you.
Try to be a friendly player with the Vulture
Check to see how the fire is going back on shore, maybe alligator is cooked by now.
Ask the vulture to help us find any wildlife that has been barbecued by the forest fire and feast on it together.
>>364
Finding the dragon ship rather unwieldy to manouver alone, and with the vulture seeming to have little rowing capability, it takes you a while to get back to the mouth of the river, where some smoke still rises from the charred wreckage of once mighty trees.
The ground is still warm, but the fire seems to have calmed down, leaving an ashen wasteland around this area. Farther off in the distance, some vegetation still smoulders.
Large alligator is nowhere to be seen.
>>365
The vulture seems quite enthusiastic for this task, and takes to flight, circling ominously a bit before landing.
Hideous vulture has located a roasted sloth carcass.
The vulture seems a bit wary about sharing the feast with you, but is easily coaxed with another helping of ale, and you take turns pecking and tearing at the remains of the beast. The vulture seems to have a good grasp of traditional viking lack of table manners.
Camaraderie with hideous vulture has improved.
You feel satiated.
Satisfying meal restores some of your health. You are now at full HP.
You are resting amongst the ash and charcoal of a formerly vibrant rainforest, the burnt-out hulks of trees lying here and there. The air smells smoky, and off in the distance you can still see fire burning. A bit to the south is a muddy river where your dragon ship lies secured. To the east is a strip of beach, and the sea.
Hideous vulture is here. (resting after a meal)
Sloth skeleton is here. (recently picked clean of meat)
Charred branch is here. (doing nothing interesting at all)
Possible exits are south, southwest, west, northwest and north.
Explore deeper inland, following the shore of the river. Bring Grawk with us.
Take a break to read Higurashi
Tip on some four-fours
>>367
You head inland, bringing your new companion, who you dub Grawk in your best imitation of vulture language.
Grawk perches on your shoulder, bringing along a carrion smell.
>>368
You pause in your wandering to recount a strange and tragic tale from the land of ninjas (your eternal hated foes) to Grawk.
Grawk listens, and appears to enjoy the gory parts the best.
>>369
You find that you are lacking an automobile, with pimped-out spokes or otherwise. You settle for rapping a bit about it instead.
Grawk croaks and clatters its beak to the beat.
Assessing your situation, you find that you have wandered further west into the remains of the jungle. Some vegetation remain here, generally charred and smouldering but in some places a bit of green remains. Further to the east, the ground begins to rise into hills. A ways to the south are the lazy arcs of a muddy river.
Possible exits are: north, south, east, west, northeast, northwest, southeast, southwest.
Far off on the northeast horizon you spot a small band of moving figures that appear to be searching the area. They do not appear to have noticed you, yet.
Climb the hills and get as high as possible to get a good view of the island.
Gain power from carrion smell
>>371
You head further inland and up the hills, climbing one of the higher peaks until you reach the summit.
You are standing on a boulder at the top of a hill. Around you some trees that escaped the burning below. To the east, you see an expanse of burnt ground, and beyond it the sea. To the southeast across the river, and far to the north, the vibrant jungle remains. To the more immediate north and south run a range of hills. To the west, land extends as far as you can see, though it lowers and flattens again after a while.
At the mouth of the river, you can see the tiny form of your dragon ship in the distance. In the charred land to the northeast, you can barely make out a small band of figures is moving southward. There appear to be three of them, oblivious to your presence as far as you can tell.
>>372
You attempt to tap into the power of aromatherapy with Grawk.
Grawk's odor is not particularly therapeutic, even for a viking.
Furtively follow the figures.
Figuratively follow the furtives.
Forgetfully fallow the fjords.
>>374
You trek down from the mountains and head in the general direction of the figures you noticed, doing your best to remain concealed in the charred landscape.
>>375
You imagine that you are following someone stealthy, like ninjas (your eternal hated foes), and walk on tiptoe a bit, closing your eyes.
>>376
Your reptilian brain misfires a bit and you find yourself pining for the fjords of your homeland, and the fallow farmlands that aren't actually so fallow, being in cold Scandinavian lands. Or wait, perhaps it was fishing in the fjords that so entranced you.
Derping out, you fall on your face. Grawk flaps away from your shoulder as you fall and lands on a nearby charred log, croaking discontentedly.
Trio of figures pauses to look around, perhaps growing suspicious that someone else is there, but not sighting you yet. They appear to be some of the sailors you abandoned earlier.
Apologize to Grawk and give her/him some ale.
Explain Grawk that we are about to catch some very fresh meat, and ask her/him to pretend she is attacking us. (Explain this with hand gestures if needed.)
Run out screaming for help while under "attack" by Grawk. When the figures get close enough, kill them all!
Stops for a moment and questions Grawk gender while under "attack" by Grawk.
>>378
You offer the last of the ale you're carrying to Grawk as a peace offering. If you want more, you'll have to journey back to the dragon ship, which the three crewmembers appear to have taken notice of.
Hastily explaining your plan to Grawk, you wave your arms and jump out of hiding, crying theatrically, "Oh, help, help!"
Lizard crewmembers notice you.
"It's the captain!" shouts lizard crewmember Sveinn.
"Kill the traitorous dog!" shouts lizard crewmember Olaf.
Lizard crewmember Sveinn wields Viking Battle Axe.
Lizard crewmember Sveinn rushes to attack!
Lizard crewmember Olaf wields Viking Spear.
Lizard crewmember Olaf rushes to attack!
Lizard crewmember Eric wields Viking Spear.
Lizard crewmember Eric runs to secure the dragon ship!
As your former allies seem decidedly less than interested in helping you escape from your staged vulture attack, you find yourself in combat.
Lizard crewmember Sveinn strikes with Viking Battle Axe for 2d6 damage, mitigated by your armor and your armored skin trait, dealing 9 HP of damage.
Lizard crewmember Olaf jabs with Viking Spear for 1d6 damage, mitigated by your armor and traits, dealing 3 HP of damage.
You wield Viking Battle Axe and strike one of the crewmembers at random.
You hit lizard crewmember Sveinn for with Viking Battle Axe for 2d6 damage, injuring him by 7 HP.
Grawk is unsure who to attack now, and flies circles over the battle.
go into a berserker rage and show those traitorous swine Thor's fury
>>381
With a mighty roar, you heave your battle axe in a furious arc, to cleave your opponents.
You hit Sveinn for 2d6 damage, injuring him for 11 HP.
Sveinn has been slain!
You hit Olaf for 2d6 damage, injuring him for 8 HP.
Olaf jabs at you with Viking Spear for 1d6 damage, injuring you by 3 HP.
You reverse your axe and strike again, injuring Olaf for 5 HP.
Olaf staggers, nearly dead, and you FINISH HIM, ripping his head off with your tongue and devouring it.
You have healed 4 HP.
Grawk lands on Olaf's corspe to investigate.
Sveinn has dropped Viking Battle axe and ale skin.
Olaf has dropped Viking Spear and torch.
Eric boards the dragon ship and takes up a defensive position.
Storm clouds begin to roll in from over the hills. You take this as a sign that Thor is pleased.
You feel rather beat up.
You are tired.
Eat the hearts of our fallen foes to honor their memory and gain their courage. Offer the rest to Grawk.