>>383
With the help of your axe, you crack open the rib cages of the fallen and pull out their hearts, dripping with lizard blood, and devour them.
You eat Sveinn's heart.
6 HP restored.
You eat Olaf's heart.
HP fully restored.
You feel the power of your fallen foes invigorate you.
Your axe combat skill has improved.
Your vitality has improved.
You feel less tired.
Grawk accepts the offering, pecking at the dead flesh.
Eric shouts taunts and threats from the deck of the dragon ship.
Wild viking spear and charge fearlessly at Eric! Throw the spear through Eric's heart when close enough to have a pretty good chance at hitting. If Eric decides to flee, taunt him and call him a coward, and tell him he'll never survive Thor's stormy wrath.
>>386
You grab the spear and boldly charge, flinging it at Eric as you close into range.
Your spear combat skill gives you a bonus to this attempt, and you hit your foe! You slightly miss the heart, but manage to puncture a lung.
Eric wheezes and reflexively throws his own spear, scoring a lucky hit on you that deals 1d6 damage, giving you a 2 HP cut before glancing off to the ground.
Lizard crewmember Eric is mortally wounded and cannot close in to attack, but isn't dead yet. Blood wells between his sharp lizard teeth as he rasps, "You are... indeed... the strongest... of us..."
Praise Eric for his bravery in battle, assuring him he will have a place in Fólkvangr. Finish him off with the axe. Eat his heart and offer the rest to Grawk.
Take a head count of who is left of the crew.
>>388
You ensure that Eric dies with honor, then nick off his head with your axe, watching it roll to the deck. You rip out and eat his heart like you did the others.
Eric has been slain.
HP and stamina restored to full.
You have reclaimed the dragon ship.
Grawk investigates this body as well, croaking with approval.
>>389
Of 20 crew members who set out under your command, 3 have been slain by your hand, and the whereabouts of 17 are currently unknown to you, though you have reason to believe they are currently on the same continent as yourself.
Ask Grawk where to go next.
Ignore whatever Grawk says and take the dragon ship to find the mythical city of Atlantis
Make love to dragon ship
>>391 >>392
At your questioning, Grawk lets out a croak and flies off inland, but you decide not to follow, instead pushing off into the sea once again and attempting to maneuver the unwieldy ship to Atlantis, a place you have only the vaguest inkling of, but that you guess is somewhere east of here, closer to home.
You adjust the sail, and the growing winds of the coming storm carry you off into the great expanse of the ocean.
>>393
Alone at last, you give in to your secret, lewd inclinations and bare your lizard cloaca, grinding it against the boards of the magnificent dragon ship, crooning over its beauty and good construction as you do so, until you feel quite satisfied and rather less guilty than you might have expected.
The dragon ship remains indifferent to your amorous advances, rocking on the growing waves.
sing a jaunty lizard-viking sailing tune
Ask for the blessings of Thor and Odin to guide us through the storm and into Atlantis!
Reminisce about childhood
Reminisce about Atlantis.
Become Atlantis.
>>395
You sing a jaunty song about sailing, raiding, and being an anthropomorphized member of the zoological suborder Lacertilia, dancing on the deck in your enthusiasm.
Magnificent dragon ship is unimpressed by your song.
>>396
You call out your prayers to the growing storm clouds above, and thunder rolls through the blackened sky, the winds seizing your ship and sending it on its way. Accustomed to sailing, you avoid being seasick despite the rather rough journey over the waves.
>>397 >>398
As the storm carries you ship over the waves to an unknown location that you hope to be Atlantis, if the gods have truly smiled upon you, you bide the time remembering your childhood, wrestling with other young nordic lizards, learning to swing the axe and throw the spear, how to sail and pillage for the glory of your homeland. As the tropical rain beats down on you and your ship is tossed on the waves, you find yourself sinking deeper into a dream state. You recall a past life, long before your current one, when Atlantis still stood above the waves and you were one of its proud and advanced citizens, conducting strange and unethical research to further your nation's superiority over the continental tribes that your society regarded as savage and boorish.
>>399
You are now playing as Atlantis XIV, merman king of the sunken city of Atlantis.
Your stats are INT +1, AGI +2, CON -1, CHA +1.
Your skills are Trident Combat (+1), Intimidate with Political Censure (+2), Speechcraft (+2), and Swimming (+3).
Your special abilities are: Breathe Underwater
Your class is King (Nobility prestige class)
Your inventory contains:
Crown of Atlantis (worn)
Ornate bracers (worn)
Gem-encrusted royal trident/sceptre combo (wielded)
You are floating in your throne room in the sunken palace of Atlantis, your fishlike body supported by water pressure near a ridiculously impractical human throne.
Seaweed and barnacles decorate the grand pillars and magnificent architecture of the lost Atlantean builders in this glorious throne room.
Merman guards are here (By a large door, x4)
Abolish monarchy of Atlantis; instate anarcho-communism.
Declare war on all other underwater cities.
>>401
Yes, you muse, you have been a terrible ruler, and the dark shadows of Atlantis' old days must never truly have left this city.
You gather your advisors and nobles to explain your radical new plan for the future of Atlantis. Despite your best speechcraft efforts, you find some elements of your audience rather difficult to convince, and a fierce argument breaks out as tempers flare.
Prince Atlantis XV wields trident and prepares to attack!
Grand Vizier wields staff and prepares to attack!
General Neptunius wields trident and prepares to attack!
Royal Accountant is swayed by your speech and withdraws from the fight!
Agricultural Minister is swayed by your speech and withdraws from fight!
Bippo the Jester is swayed by your speech and prepares to fight at your side!
Merman guard is swayed by your speech and prepares to fight at your side! (x4)
As your allies outnumber your opposition, you may either remain and fight, or allow them to cover for you as you make a cowardly escape.
>>402
You have more pressing matters to deal with at this moment, like not becoming sushi at the hands of your former subordinates.
Settle dispute by allowing the opposition to peacefully explain their disagreements on an orderly and civil fashion.
Remain strong in our position, but still open to concede in a number of key areas.
Furtively gesture to the guards to take up positions surrounding the consipirators while we make a speechcraft check to distract them as >>405-san said. Continue ruling with an iron fist now that our enemies have been drawn out of the woodwork and slain in our clever trap.
>>405
You successfully use your speechcraft to restore order; for now.
Prince Atlantis XV complains of long tradition and his right to ascend the throne after you as he was brought up to do, and that the peasantry cannot function without proper leadership.
Grand Vizier argues that he will support the Prince's claim to the throne.
General Neptunius argues that organized military might is necessary to protect the city, and expresses doubts that this can be achieved without centralized organization.
Bippo the Jester argues that getting rid of stuffy old officials and their hidebound rules sounds like a great idea.
Other participants have nothing to add.
With some further debate, you are able to further sway General Neptunius to see the merit of your position, but the prince and vizier remain obstinate, though less inclined to immediate violence without the general's continued support.
>>406
Using the secret gestures established with your personal guards, you say to the rest that you will finish the debate with the prince and vizier in private. Once the coast is clear, you have your heir and vizier summarily executed for treason by the outnumbering guards, and return to floating over your throne, deciding that perhaps your radical idea was not meant for implementation, after all.
Given Bippo's enthusiasm for the idea, you decide that it will be necessary to have him vanish, as well. You will miss Bippo's jests, you lament, but the order of the state comes first.
Guards have slain Prince Atlantis XV.
Guards have slain Grand Vizier.
Guards have slain Bippo the Jester.
You have received no combat rewards for delegating your kills.
Summon Lizard Viking. Locate if necessary.
>>409
Well, this is certainly a conundrum, you think to yourself, wondering if you've set in motion things beyond your control with your rash suggestions to your inner circle.
If only a legendary hero would come and help you sort all of this out; the sort who comes from another land with strange and wonderful skills, mighty in battle and ruggedly handsome.
As you think these thoughts, the hull of a storm-wrecked but once magnificent dragon ship crashes down on the roof of your palace and a lone Lizard Viking comes swimming in your window, looking quite confused yet ruggedly heroic none the less.
You quickly call the attendant sorceress and have her impart water breathing on the creature before it drowns.
Lizard Viking has joined your party.
Declare war on drugs, in the interest of securing more royal funds in the form of drug money.
Ask Lizard viking to kill the 4 guards, they know too much.
Ask Lizard viking to eat all the trolls in the secret area.
Be lizard viking. Mate with sorceress to gain her powers.
Be sorceress. Make some lovely fishlizard babies.
Settle for ejaculating on dead sorceress' ample breasts.
Adopt fishlizard babies as our own.
Settle for ejaculating on King Atlantis' ample chest.
vc: quip
>>420
You engage in acts far too lewd to be described on a family textboard with King Atlantis XIV, with a particular focus on his magnificently slick, rippling pectoral muscles. You find it to be greatly enjoyable, and so does he.
"You have opened my eyes to a whole new world." says the King, "Henceforth the city of Atlantis and the lands of Lizandinavia shall be allied. Furthermore I would ask that we be wed that you may reign alongside me as my... uhhh... queen?"
"Sire," you wonder aloud, "Is that legal?"
"I will make it legal." the king answers.
Accept offer, then eat the king at the wedding. Declare self supreme commander of both Atlantis and Lizandinavia.
Touch oniichan's penis.
Teach Viking battle chant to your newfound subordinates.
>>422
You cheerfully accept the offer and bide your time with the king until the wedding ceremonies. When the customary kiss is to take place, you give things a little extra oomph.
You bite King Atlantis for 1d6 damage, injuring him by 3 HP.
"Oooh, kinky." says the king.
You bite King Atlantis for 1d6 damage, injuring him by 3 HP.
"Ahhhhhn." says the king.
You bite King Atlantis for 1d6 damage, injuring him by 2 HP.
"That tickles!" says the king.
You bite King Atlantis for 1d6 damage, injuring him by 2 HP.
"Uhhh, darling...?" says the king.
You bite King Atlantis for 1d6 damage, injuring him by 1 HP.
"Darling?" says the king.
You bite King Atlantis for 1d6 damage, injuring him by 2 HP.
"All right! All right! I submit to you, my lovely hunk of lizard!" says the king.
King Atlantis XIV grovels at your feet, kissing them. It would appear you have the king wrapped around your fingers now. Although, you recall, you technically owe your own allegiance to one of the several kings in the loosely-knit ethnic region of Lizandinavia, although that could be fixed...
>>423
You see neither an oniichan, nor a penis, being surrounded by fishy naked merfolk whose genitalia appear to be designed for spawning by scattering eggs and sperm willy-nilly in the water (how lewd!) Furthermore, you highly suspect that "oniichan" sounds like a word only a ninja would use, and though you have done many questionable things on this adventure of yours, becoming a ninja is not yet one of them.
>>424
You teach King Atlantis XIV and the merman guards your best viking battle chant as the first step in your cultural domination over the Atlanteans. They seem to learn quickly, and those who lack it gain first rank in "Intimidate with a lethal weapon" skill.
Take a crew of Atlantis' best warriors and sail the dragon ship to the land of ninjas to finally put them in their place!
>>426
Although it takes a great deal of repairing, you eventually get the Atlanteans to rebuild your dragon ship even better than before, using ancient plans from the former inhabitants of Atlantis before the oceans drank it. Once preparations are ready, you set forth for conquest!
You are on board a steam-powered ironclad with a magnificent dragon prow, cruising over the waves while King Atlantis XIV, General Neptunius and 18 merman guards swim in the ocean to either side. The coastline of the land of ninjas (your eternal hated foes) has just come into sight, and you must decide now how you will stage your attack; merfolk on land, you have discovered, are like fish out of water, so you may have to lead them into some sort of river system if you want them to have a chance at fighting effectively. Alternatively, coastal raiding with the rebuilt ship's artillery cannons also seems viable.
Find their water supply and pee in it. Biological warfare!
Sneak into the castle through the obligatory sewer level
Try to convince any sentient reptiles you might encounter there to join your party.
Make a home in the sewers. Become king of the sewers.
Challenge ninja turtles to a Glasperlenspiel match to decide jurisdiction of the sewers.
While the rest of our party is wasting time with Glasperlenspiel, sneak out of the sewers and find an onsen to get cleaned up.
Be King Atlantis.
Order a Pizza of Foe Finding from the ninja turtles.
Use the pizza to grind on sewer enemies until reaching level 9999.
Burrow underground even further
Keep digging.
>>433
They refuse and simply point their weapons at you menacingly. You suspect it might be because there's no Glasperlenspiel anywhere in sight, or maybe because the ninja turtles feel they'd be at a tremendous disadvantage, having absolutely no formal Glasperlenspiel training. Maybe you should have refrained yourself from issuing such a ridiculous challenge in the first place.
>>434
You try to escape but an antropomorphic rat with a cane blocks your way out!
>>435
You ask for the Pizza of Foe Finding to the ninja turtles. They are not exactly well-versed on video game vernacular, so they end up interpreting your request as Pizza with Anchovies. This funny misunderstanding amuses no one, however, as the turtles refuse your order and insist on threatening you with their ninja weapons.
>>456,437
Seeing as all escape routes are blocked, you attempt to create your own escape route, digging into the concrete floor of the sewer. Using your beautifully decorated trident, you attempt to break through the concrete, but you soon find out this isn’t the optimal tool for the job. While you entertain yourself with your new-found task, the ninja turtles take this chance to preemptively attack. The hapless mermen soldiers, not being used to terrestrial combat, aimlessly flop around attempting to evade their brisk ninjutsu, without much success. Lizard Viking courageously tries to defend the mermen soldiers, but despite his graceful viking combat skills he remains outnumbered by the four turtles. In a matter of minutes, they dispose of most of your platoon, leaving you with 5 pitiful mermen warriors at your disposal. Meanwhile your efforts seem to have paid of, as the concrete under your trident now appears visibly cracked.
Screw this, murder all the turtles and rats with our trident while screaming viking insults.
Command the oceans to flood the sewers, and scream more viking insults.
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
>>439
"Yeeminee Villikerz!" you shout, leaping into the seething throng of rats and turtles, alternately sweeping and stabbing with your stout trident! They put up a heroic defense, but your vastly superior size and strength make short work of the vermin. As you stand above their mangled little corpses, you wonder to yourself why you didn't just walk over them in the first place.
>>440
"How long kann yoo tread vater?" you snarl, as you raise your trident and bid the oceans to your command. Unfortunately, the oceans never got the memo about your rise to power, and nothing happens.
>>441
The Kraken glances up at you from its now open cage, and then goes back to playing Mario Kart.
Play head to head Mario Kart with the Kraken.
>>443
The Kraken proves to be a tough but fair opponent. The two of you play for hours, with neither maintaining a lead.
Your thumbs are growing weary.
Go out to grab some beers. Ask the Kraken if it wants anything.
Find and eat a really big sandwich.
>>445,446,447
The Kraken asks for a bag of surume to go with the beers, seemingly oblivious to the irony. You decide not to press the issue and instead head to the nearest convenience store for beer and snacks. Upon your return, you decide to dust off the old Xbox classic and challenge the Kraken to a few rounds of Halo.
"Aw dude no way! Hell yeah I'll play! Halo was my shit back in the day, I won't go easy on you!"
The kraken is initially terrible at the game, losing the first several rounds back to back possibly on account of not having thumbs. As the evening progresses, however, you soon find out that the Ballmer Peak also applies both to oceanic molluscs and to video games. As night gives way to morning, and having lost 15 rounds in a row, your rumbling stomach and mild frustration get the best of you.
"Bah, fuck this! You win, let's go get some real food. All we've had all night is potato chips and this squid stuff."
"Shquid? Hwut? Ids chiggen innit?" the Kraken slurs out.
"er yeah, it's-" you begin to say, before the squid snatches the package off the ground and drunkenly squints at it, seemingly having trouble focusing his massive cephalopod eyes.
"SHQUID! ID ISH SHQUID! OH MY GHAWD, I'B A MONSHTER!" yells the Kraken, flailing his gigantic tentacles in a fit of drunken despair and nearly taking your head off.
"Hey, hey, come on bro. You're not a monster, you had no way of knowing (even though it's written right there on the package). C'mon, let's go get a bigass sandwich then hit the sack, I think you'll feel better once you've slept it off."
"O-oghey", sniffs the Kraken.
You stop at the front door to put on your shoes, before remembering that you don't have feet. As you open it, you look back and notice the Kraken passed out on the couch. Sighing and deciding that it can't be helped, you go to take your shoes back off, before remembering for a second time that you don't have feet. The sandwich will have to wait until later that afternoon.
Generate feet
Get the Kraken some really strong coffee and send him on his way.
Ask the Kraken for a second date.
>>449,450,451
You grow some feet. They are really tiny feet. You need to water them daily and give them plenty of sunlight.
You press the "REALLY STRONG" button on your coffee maker. A fist comes shooting out and punches you in the face. You feel more awake now! You bring the REALLY STRONG COFFEE to the Kraken, meaning that you punch him in the face.
"Can we go out again?" you ask as he recoils from the sudden rude awakening.
"AREKJHKJEHHRHRHJHHJHJKJHRKEJHHRHRHR" the kraken screams. He goes on a rampage and breaks everything in your house.
Smile lovingly at the Kraken and prepare to go on a second date with him.
Invite the kraken to play one of your knizia games with you
>>453,454
The kraken is mollified by your enchanting smile. You go to your game shelf intending to get out Medici, but it was completely destroyed in the kraken's hungover rampage!
Go on a rampage date with the kraken and break everything in the neighborhood