ITT you have worn armor, a rusty dagger, and amnesia (457)

1 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5254 23:16

Wake up, sleepy head!

...

80 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 10:17

> yes

You have a worn dagger, rusty armor, and amnesia. It is dark.

> restore saved game >>71

81 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 10:44

> look around

82 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 15:20

You see a dungeon.

83 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 19:41

> eat dungeon

84 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 19:55

You're having a hard time getting all of it down.--More--

85 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 19:57

Stop eating? [yn] (y)

86 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 20:05

>y
>polymorph into giant sandworm

87 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 21:41

You transform into your ultimate sandworm form. Unfortunately, you are way too big for the uneaten remnants of the dungeon hallways, and you are squished to death.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@GAME OVER
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Continue? >>yes no

88 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 22:17

no

89 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 22:22

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Windows

A fatal exception OE has occurred at 017F:BFF9DFFF.
The current application will be terminated.

  • Press any key to terminate the application
  • Press Ctrl + Alt + Del again to restart your computer. You will
    lose any unsaved information in all applications.

90 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 23:07

You have a worn dagger, rusty armor, and amnesia. It is dark.

91 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 23:11

  • Press FOW button to tell Windows to Fuck Off completely. You will lose nothing of any value.

92 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5264 23:45

You now have a computer with no OS. All your personal files are intact. What do you wish to do?

93 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 00:25

>>92 Install Ubuntu.

94 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 02:46

Your display device is not recognized! Would you like to
[ ] Try to install your network device so you can download a kernel module
[ ] Write an open-source device driver yourself
[ ] Install Windows XP SP2

95 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 02:48

> Write an open-source device driver

96 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 02:52

You may only take one of the following to accompany in you in this dangerous quest:
[ ] a +14 vim of shortcutery
[ ] a +11 emacs of completefulness
[ ] a +2 ed of standardity

97 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 03:02

>+14 vim of shortcutery

98 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 03:52

that is not enough shortcutterys

99 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 04:06

> exchange shortcuterys for shortcutterys at an exchange rate of 13%

100 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 14:10

you have 107.69 shortcutterys minus my commission is 102.30 shortcutterys cash have a good day

101 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 16:29

Use VIM on DEVICE DRIVER

102 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5265 16:52

102.30 GET

103 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5266 16:47

DEVICE DRIVER launches ILLEGAL OPERATION attack

104 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5266 17:39

> Defend with backup disk

105 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5266 18:23

Backup disk fails with CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK

106 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5266 18:26

Fuck it, use MAP to locate the APPLE STORE

107 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5266 18:32

The entrance of the APPLE STORE is guarded by A RETARDED LOOKING SNAKE.

Would you like to
[] Read SICP
[] Invoke LAMBDA KNIGHTS
[] Run

108 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5266 18:43

Read SCIP

109 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 01:09

>>plugh

110 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 01:39

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

111 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 02:44

You feel smug.

112 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 04:49

>>111 FUCK YOU

113 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 05:01

While I would very much like that, I am only a computer program so I fear that would be quite impossible.

What would you like to do now? >

114 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 05:06

> Write an open-source Linux device driver in ARC

115 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5267 12:09

Are you sure you don't just want to hear yourself saying 'open-source Linux'?

116 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5268 16:00

Suggestion timed out. Validating user command.

You obtain a BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER.
You have gained experience in your ARC Programming skill.

Note : A save is NG here. As a quality of an item is poor (23%), insurance role is suggested in case of a bad luck and is (ŠΎ.

Take insurance roll before using item ? Y/N

>

117 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5268 19:14

> Yes

118 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5268 19:53

You have a BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER with insurance rolls at (ŠΎ.*

*exclusions apply:

  • self-inflicted wounds
  • driving devices under the influence of drugs or alcohol
  • inability to read 4-letter words correctly
  • application previously terminated for any reason
  • history of amnesia
  • oxidised weapons
  • inadequate protective clothing

119 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5268 21:40

> make backup disk

120 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5269 05:02

You start making the BACKUP DISK.

121 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5269 05:05

I thrust my rusty dagger into the BAD-QUALITY OPEN-SOURCE LINUX DEVICE DRIVER to find some squids to grind on.

122 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5269 05:38

Your rusty dagger is deflected by the hard disks sturdy outer casing and breaks into two pieces.
Some eight-armed, two tentacles, deep-sea invertebrates arrive and invite you to join them in sexually suggestive club dance.

123 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5269 14:31

bounce stark nekkid on the tentacles singing IT'S SHOW TIME! from Tokyo Mew Mew OP

124 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5269 19:23

>>115
(☞߁Νί)☞ Nvidia's shitty drivers.

125 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5270 11:55

You are stark naked, unarmed and getting gangbanged by luscious squids.

Maybe you could forge back your rusty dagger from the two broken pieces, but you do not have proper fixing material and since your gay mana pool is depleted, you cannot cast "Source Forge" either.

You feel uneasy and slimy from all the rape. It looks like those fuckers won't reward you for your hard work anyway.

//i@EΝEjA correct translation is in progress. I need your help and it is SUNX.
An anal is in pain and the poison status has carried out. Life is diminished and [-- it continues] to [-- in] a remedy.

It enters.

>

126 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5272 04:53

Carry out the w

127 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5272 05:01

Your anus is hurting.

heal anus

You do not have that ability.

touch anus

It feels slimy and worn out.

kill Carry out the w

There is no Carry

hmm

"hmm" is not a valid command, for help type 'help command' or 'help'.

carryoutrevenge squidgang

you begin plotting a long-term plan to destroy the squid gang and restore your pride.

restore analvirginity

What has been done cannot be undone...

128 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5272 05:11

> commit suicide

129 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5272 16:58

You cannot commit suicide more than once a day, wait a few hours then try again.

>

130 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5272 21:49

> urinate on pagan idol

131 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5272 21:49

> commit suicide

132 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5273 05:54

Stop 0x0000001e (c000009a 80123f36 02000000 00000246)
Unhandled Kernel exception c000009a from 8123f26
Address 80123f36 has base at 80100000 - dqn1200784603.exe

133 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5273 06:10

> reboot; install FreeDos

134 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5274 21:51

Non-System Disk or Disk Error

135 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5274 22:28

> eat backup disk

136 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5274 22:47

You have eaten the backup disk and gain 12 experience points.

Congratulations, you are now level 1. Would you like to:

[] Respawn
[] Install BSD
[] Abort

137 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5274 22:49

> Abort

138 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5274 23:03

Exception Type: EXC_BAD_ACCESS (SIGSEGV)
Exception Codes: KERN_INVALID_ADDRESS at 0x00000000c00794af
Crashed Thread: 5

139 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 06:32

>Submit to Apple

140 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 17:12

Sorry, a system error occurred.

[] Restart

141 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 18:00

> Fail

142 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 20:20

Software Failure. Press left mouse button to continue.
@ @ @ @ Guru Meditation #GB24CHAN

143 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 22:58

> Press LMB

144 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 23:00

An AWESOME GLENZ FILLED WOBBLY POLYGON FULLSCREEN XYZ ROTATING MITTEN WITH UNREADABLE SCROLLERS AND RAD COPPER EFFECTS appears !

[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !
[] Fuck yeah, it's 1993 !

145 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 23:13

> eat polygon

146 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5275 23:44

FUCKS: 3
ASSENTS: 3
ITS: 5979
BANGS: 3

Do you want to buy more fucks? [Y/N]

147 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 13:08

> cast TANASINN ζleζˆvζˆζˆζ4ˆζˆζˆζ

148 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 14:44

TANASINN APPEARS

[] ˆ
[ζˆ] ζˆζˆ
ˆζˆζˆζˆζˆζˆζ

ζˆζˆζˆζ[Yˆζ

149 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 15:31

> N

150 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 16:39

You've selected 'N', indicating you do not wish to warp to the final level with invincibility and quad damage. Also, you were eaten by a grue.

Would you like to play again?

[ Y / N ]

151 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 16:43

> go East

152 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 19:21

INVALID RESPONSE.

PLEASE LIMIT RESPONSES TO THE FOLLOWING OPTIONS:

[ Y / N ]

153 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5276 22:28

/

154 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5277 08:01

HAMSTER

155 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5277 11:22

]

156 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5277 13:54

run iexplore.exe

157 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5277 15:57

> crash

158 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5277 17:24

You can't get ye flask.

159 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5277 18:42

invalid command or filename

160 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5278 12:47

DEBUG

161 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5278 18:37

> ?

162 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5278 18:43

You have died. Would you like to play again?

m‚x^‚mn

163 Name: ( ・∀・)  : 1993-09-5278 19:24

N

WAIT! Y! I MEANT Y!

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 06:42

Make love to Continue.

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 12:26

Try to remember which game I'm playing, again.

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 18:24

get troll

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7412 22:19

kill jester

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 01:09

>>164 Continue rebuffs your clumsy advances.

169 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 04:01

Sulk

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7504 22:43

age thread

171 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7505 05:05

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.

172 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7665 23:16

No it hasn't.

173 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7665 23:25

enlarge penis

174 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7668 22:21

= Game Rebooted =

You are in a small, dank cell. You are lying on a mat made of straw. Aside from the mat, the only furnishings you see are a chamber pot and a bowl of cold gruel. You have no recollection of this place.

Inventory:
You have worn armor, a rusty dagger, and amnesia.

175 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7668 23:04

Use rusty dagger on bowl of gruel.

176 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7668 23:07

>>175
You valiantly stab the evil bowl of gruel. Your dagger breaks off in the thick glop.

You are now carrying a broken dagger. There is a bowl of rusty gruel here. You can almost feel your opponent taunting you.

177 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7668 23:45

Stare at ceiling.

178 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7668 23:47

look for a secret door

179 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7669 00:34

>>177
You stare at the ceiling for a while. A spider crawls across and begins to descent on its thread, moving towards your eyeball.

>>178
Deciding that you would rather not have a spider in your eye, you busy yourself poking around the walls of the cell. If only it were that easy! There is no sign of any passage in the wall, aside from the obvious barred door. There are some tally marks scratched in one wall, though, counting out 13.

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