>>277
I'd win.
Given that the penguin is still a common and irrational creature, I'd run away until I reached a penguin of the opposite sex that aroused its instincts. As it gets distracted, I'd hug it from behind and stab and stab and stab and stab and stab and stab.
>>278
An angered elderly mathematics professor vs. a hungry overweight lady on a mart cart, both fighting over a pack of sausages.