Last night I tried to pick up a waitress in a hip restaurant who had Euler's constant tattooed down her left arm.

Firstly I said, "I'm admiring your Euler", to which she oddly replied, "Thanks! Not many people get that. But I'm more of a variable myself."

"That's OK; the only constant here, anyway, is our love." She laughed a bit, called me cute. I didn't talk to her again until it was time to pay the bill.

"Hey, wait," I hazarded, "our respective life functions are continually diverging, but I want them to start converging more. If I had your number I could fix the equations!"

She was about to turn away. "Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm already converging with someone else!"

At that point I became frantic, desperate to keep her attention and feeling challenged to push this further. "Then I'll do a Fourier transform and take the constituent waves of your relationship apart, then add mine to yours! I'll use my cosine!! Hey!" But by that time she had escaped, merely looking back to give a flattered smile.