So today I found the facebook profile of my childhood crush/unrequited (as far as I know) love.
I'm not sure how to feel about it. Frankly, since it didn't seem like he had much of an online presence, I expected/hoped he would be as socially inept as me, but he has more friends than me and interacts with his friends/posts on his wall regularly. He also visits (what I believe to be) a 4chan derivative site, and might or might not use the "xD" emoticon.
I still don't know if he's gay; I don't think he has a girlfriend right now and he didn't specify "interested in" on his profile, and he uses ":3" and ";3" occasionally, but that doesn't mean much. I think that I feel somewhat intimidated by him now, since he didn't grow up to be a sad person like me.
The more I think about how I felt about him the sadder I get, and the entire situation is hopeless as I live in a different country now and don't plan on going back anytime soon. We live in different worlds and there's nothing I'm going to do about it, I'm not even sure if I could.
I'm reliving the unrequited love right now. I'll listen to some sad music and cry.
I hope you don't mind me ranting, I just don't have any friends I trust enough/expect to care about this.