>>2 what is the parallel universe when the Sega Master System/Sega Mark III far more popular than the Nintendo NES/Famicom?
It's a fantastic universe. The one i should've been born in.
>>3 what is the parallel universe where mittens explode, causing thousands of fatalities every week?
People stopped making mittens.
>>4 what is the parallel universe where hot girls like pale, socially awkward weirdos?
That's where i come from, it's alright.
>>5 What is the parallel universe where music is currency?
Well, the stock market here looks a lot like itunes.
>>6 What is the parallel universe where people eat through their noses and poop through their ears?
People ride trains and buses on their knees with their heads on the seats, doing lines of cookie crumbs
Tell me >>7 what is it like where everyone has mechanical precision in their arm, hand and finger movements?
Inventors of the printer simply lost all their money. Ha-ha, joking! Actually, people stabbed each other to death as soon as they discovered weak spots. It's quite lonely there.
Dear >>8, please describe the parallel universe where AOL never existed.
Plastic surgeons that cut off boobs become extremely rich.
>>10 what does the parallel universe without Hitler look like?
Not as pleasant as you might think. World War II happened anyway. The USSR under Stalin invaded Poland, Finland, Japan, and the Baltic States in 1938, then Germany (the Weimar Republic was hardly able--or willing--to defend itself), and drove the Allied armies all the way back to the Pyrennees and the English Channel. The US and UK signed an armistice in 1940 on unfavorable terms rather than try to continue with what they saw as a lost cause. The Great Depression continued until the early 1960s and the Sino-Soviet Empire very nearly won that world's Cold War (there the historians call it the Protracted Struggle) until it fell apart in a bloody welter of ethno-nationalist counterrevolutions all over two continents. It's a much less affluent world than our own, and Western popculture is all bubblegum escapist fantasies about an imagined golden age before the war. In the year 2010 Warsaw and Paris are still bombed-out wastelands, but rumor has it that the US-Australasian Alliance has plans to put a man in orbit by the end of the next decade.
>>11, what's it like in the parallel universe where H. Ross Perot was elected US President in 1992?
It's pretty cool. The national deficit is gone, the Federal government is lean and unobtrusive, and there's no income tax any more. The economy is chugging right along, stronger than ever, and all other nations look up to us as a shining example of the best mankind can offer the universe.
Except for North Korea. Those guys are just crazy.
>>12, what's it like in the parallel universe where anti-gravity technology turned out to be the simplest thing ever?
The Patent Office took out a restraining order against me because I kept flying into their third-floor windows, and still won't allow anyone to patent it. :(
>>13, what's it like in the parallel universe where in the 9th Century, the big wave of Viking raids and Norman invasions was against Spain and the Mediterranean coast of North Africa rather than Western Europe?
Islamic society in Al-Andalus degrades, scholars don't flourish there, ancient Greek and Roman knowledge never gets reintroduced to Europe, the Renaissance never happens, Europe remains in the dark ages until the mid-20th century when it gets colonized by China.
>>14, what's it like in the parallel universe where the Central Powers win World War I?
The Central Powers built NIC Control Towers, it was only a few hours until there were no more flowers. On the other hand, pigs evolved and have even better tasting meat, though meat from females tastes better so new jobs opened up such as the job I got when I went there, I was a pigsower which was basically giving pigs sex change operations
I heard you've been to the "blood is heroin" universe, >>16, what's it like?
Everyone overdosed at birth. There were no survivors.
What's it like in the universe where soylent blue is people, >>17?
Soylent Blue is tasty and nutritious but it's kind of trippy seeing John Wayne as Robert Thorn and Eli Wallach as Sol Roth. Imagine John Wayne shouting "It's people! Soylent Blue is people!" and you'll understand.
>>18, what's it like in the world where the Shah of Iran remained in power, and a modernized, Westernized, industrialized Iran made a peaceful transition to Western-style representative democracy/constitutional monarchy in 1991?
Their version of this thread derails into a political shitstorm when somebody asks a question implying that Iran would have been better off if Ayatollah Khomeini's revolution had succeeded and the next person wittily contradicts them and poses a question slanted toward their worldview.
>>19, how's it going in the universe where nobody has any feet?
There's no significant difference, >>20. Beady Eyes got involved and derailed the project, the same way he derails threads. The project memos were released and were briefly on the New York Times best-seller list of comedy and humor books, though.
>>22, what's it like in the parallel universe that's identical to this one, except that about ten minutes ago, in a sandstorm on the surface of Mars, a single particle of dust moved a centimeter or two away from the position held by our universe's version of that particle?
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
>>23, what's it like in the parallel universe where underwear cleans itself?
It's lemony fresh.
So I heard Spain conquered the UK at the beginning of the 20th Century in your universe >>24? How's that working out for you?
>>23
Paellas are the most popular dish in the world. Also, all Brits are terrific dancers with handsome smiles and straight teeth.
>>24
DQN is the most popular website in the world. Also, all vippers are terrific dances with handsome smiles and straight teeth.
>>26, how's the alternate universe where the USA President was a giant mecha loli?
There's surprisingly little difference, >>28. Leftist intellectuals and revolutionaries call themselves "Engelsian" or "Trotskyist" instead. Well, Leutonia from the old SCTV sketches became a real country in 1924. We're still not sure how that happened. Otherwise, you'd hardly notice.
>>30, what's it like in the parallel universe where everyone really IS named Squeeks?
It's kinda boring. The sky is completely plain at night because no starlight has reached Earth yet.
>>34, how's it going in that universe where a freak solar flare interfered with human genetics and caused every baby born in the 1970's to be French?
Pretty boring. Now that everyone knows, nobody strives for anything any more.
>>43, how is it in the universe where people reproduce by budding?
Frustrating.
>>44, how is it in the universe where there's butter vending machines on the street and every house has a vodka tap?
Everyone is speaking Russian! I can't understand them.
>>46, what's it like in the universe where this thread isn't essentially a repeat of http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1250006606/l50 ?
Life without Espeon is great, man!
>>53, in that universe >>52 asked a question about what it's like to live in a parallel universe where Space Nazi Bad Guys ride on saddled dinosaurs and do battle against the forces of Good, who have giant robots and caped superhumans and hot-blooded heroes. Also, there are monkeys, pirates, ninjas, and zombies. And your answer was that it is AWESOME. Dangerous, but awesome.
>>55, what's it like in the universe where there was no drastic sudden influx of new users to Usenet and the Web in September of 1994, and there was no Eternal September?
>>54 It's horrible! Civilization is gone, governments collapsed, and the rule of law has disappeared. A few thousand days ago a horrible computer bug caused by the weird calendar they adopted for some reason made all technology stop working and society immediately collapsed. Thankfully, for us, September 2313th, 1993 came and went completely uneventfully.
>>56, what's it like in the universe where humans have an instinct to chop down trees with their teeth and use them to build dams?
>>56, motion pictures were invented in the 18th century for the express purpose of creating animutation, so our cinema technology is about 100~200 years cooler than in most universes, though other technology kind of lags behind as a result of everyone being a little caught up in the flicks.
>>58, what was it like in the universe where we found out that Junior is Grandpa... from THE FUTURE?
>>57
The stable time loops make it one hell of a confusing place. For example, King Henry IV is the 49th President of the United States. Very few people are history buffs because it makes most people's brains hurt too much. As a result astrophysics is a very popular field, and we've set up colonies in several remote galaxies.
>>59, how's that universe where anyone has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
>>60, that universe contains a SECRET AREA OF VIP QUALITY and DADDYCOOL will tell you about it for $10. Oh, wait.
>>62, what is it like in the universe where time travel is invented, then later on some crazy person travels back in time to kill the inventor before he can invent the time machine, over and over and over?
>>62, very strange. Sometimes, when you're walking down the street, you hear a loud bang and turn to see some poor sap fall to the ground leaking blood everywhere. There is a small market for "extermination janitors", those on-call to clean up after the murders, and on the whole it's quite surreal.
>>64, what's it like in the universe where instead of video games, "Generation X" grew up primarily with increasingly maddening adaptations of the Rubik's Cube and various other twisty puzzles?
>>65 I visited a number of universes where songs other than "Never Gonna Give You Up" are used to humorously misdirect people. Surprisingly, I found that they tend to gravitate towards the title theme from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. We're sort of an oddball universe in that we picked a 1980's song to begin with; most of them use music videos from the late 90's to today that feature bad CG graphics and involve the artist making a fool of himself.
>>67, What's it like in the universe where water occurs in situations that generate electricity in our universe, and vice versa?
>>72, you can find Akihabara cafés where cute young girls dress up in maid uniforms and put on monkey ears and tails and try to say as many "ook"s as they can.
>>74, what can you tell me about the universe in which every person is required to go through a coming-of-age ritual involving tripping on ayahuasca?
The strongest adult bulletin board in Japan
http://www.y-bbs.net/
>>75 never got an answer before being pulled into a single point from every direction spontaneously, which (to be fair) happened promptly and without any needless pleasantries.
>>77, what's it like in the universe where Richard Nixon really ended his political career for good after losing the election for governor of California?
>>76, Lyndon Johnson was reelected to the Presidency in 1968 only to become the central figure in the big Shoreham scandal of 1970, in which it was revealed operatives from his campaign were caught bugging the hotel rooms of perceived political rivals of both parties during the 1968 Democratic and Republican conventions, and was impeached and removed from office for his part in the cover-up. In that world's lexicon of American English political terms, affixing the prefix Shore- to something designates it as a gigantic shameful scandal.
William F. Buckley was elected President in 1972 on the Republican ticket, only to be assassinated minutes after taking the oath of office by Gore Vidal.
Vice President Barry Goldwater served the remainder of his term, which historians note for his authorization of the use of tactical nuclear weapons in Vietnam and his declaration of war against and invasion of Saudi Arabia in November 1973 in the response to King Faisal's seizure of US-owned oil fields and creation of OPEC.
>>78, what's it like in the universe where I thought of something funny and clever, instead of trying to create a vaguely plausible alternate history?
I'm afraid I can't answer you, as there is a spear stuck in my head.
>>80, what's it like in the universe where the heart is where thinking happens, witches exist, and other such old-timey misconceptions are actually true?
>>80 The leader's theatrical plays are not nearly a funny or epic.
Good thing there are a huge number of other TV shows thanks to the fact that state-owned media is a tiny fraction of all media here. Sometimes I hang out with some South Korean friends, and we all have a good time making fun of Japanese. It sure is a relief not hearing American military guys say stuff to us, defending those people.
What is the alternate universe like where you can make a comic book character come to life if you really want it to?
>>32
I'm sorry, but I couldn't answer faster since our internet conection is so slow... there may be already like 80 post in this thread when mine arrives...
This world is interesting. You can see some relativistic effects on plain sigh, but there are no cars, since they need a lot of fuel to reach 6/7 km/h and you would need to readjust your watch when you arrived your destination (and you should pray so it keeps being there)... not to talk about a crash at that speed...
By the way, >>33, how in the hell did you manage to answer that quickly?
Let's hope I don't miss this:
>>85, how is the world that 83 suggested? (this way, if I did it right, I won't break the chain).
Well, >>87, most people are good at playing themselves, but the most interesting relations arise between people who are good at playing others. The only problem is some people's heads are higher quality instruments than others, so there's lots of discrimination and prejudice.
Also, being born with a piano for a head is a curse.
>>89, how's it feel to live in a universe where semen is both healthy and delicious?
>>90 All the now almost-immortal people have retreated to underground cities with the last remaining supplies of clean air, because Earth's atmosphere is now 70% second-hand smoke.
>>90, what's it like in the universe where the MPAA is exclusively dedicated to porn movies, and the only movies without sex scenes are made in Europe and Japan?
>>92, it's devoid of life more complex than blue-green algae. It seems that since every intelligent tool-using life form sooner or later comes around to the idea of martial arts, then spawns some chucklefuck who destroys the planet with a super-focused-hiryu-shoten-ha-kamehameha attack in a fit of pique at his ex-girlfriend.
>>94, what's it like in the universe where Beady Eyes doesn't derail threads?
>>99 Cat thumb-wrestling is a fairly widespread but heavily policed sport. Awareness groups exist that try to scare people with images of fist-locked cats, while surrounding them crowds of poorly dressed third-worlders shout and whoop while holding paper bills. Also cat-sized pet-doors have been replaced with cat-sized upright doors complete with working doorknobs.
>>101 What's it like in the universe where audiophiles prefer cassette tapes to vinyl?