[Quantum theory] ITT we send the next poster to a parallel universe and they tell us about it [go] (468)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6377 17:30

>>2 what is the parallel universe when the Sega Master System/Sega Mark III far more popular than the Nintendo NES/Famicom?

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6378 17:48

It's a fantastic universe. The one i should've been born in.

>>3 what is the parallel universe where mittens explode, causing thousands of fatalities every week?

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 03:09

People stopped making mittens.

>>4 what is the parallel universe where hot girls like pale, socially awkward weirdos?

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 15:39

That's where i come from, it's alright.

>>5 What is the parallel universe where music is currency?

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 17:10

Well, the stock market here looks a lot like itunes.

>>6 What is the parallel universe where people eat through their noses and poop through their ears?

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 19:02

People ride trains and buses on their knees with their heads on the seats, doing lines of cookie crumbs

Tell me >>7 what is it like where everyone has mechanical precision in their arm, hand and finger movements?

7 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6380 00:03

Inventors of the printer simply lost all their money. Ha-ha, joking! Actually, people stabbed each other to death as soon as they discovered weak spots. It's quite lonely there.

Dear >>8, please describe the parallel universe where AOL never existed.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 00:08

Mathematical proofs are that much more lengthy since you can't assume generalized results about limits.

>>9, hey >>9, what is it like in the universe where a flat chest is a status symbol?

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 01:23

Plastic surgeons that cut off boobs become extremely rich.

>>10 what does the parallel universe without Hitler look like?

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 02:25

Not as pleasant as you might think. World War II happened anyway. The USSR under Stalin invaded Poland, Finland, Japan, and the Baltic States in 1938, then Germany (the Weimar Republic was hardly able--or willing--to defend itself), and drove the Allied armies all the way back to the Pyrennees and the English Channel. The US and UK signed an armistice in 1940 on unfavorable terms rather than try to continue with what they saw as a lost cause. The Great Depression continued until the early 1960s and the Sino-Soviet Empire very nearly won that world's Cold War (there the historians call it the Protracted Struggle) until it fell apart in a bloody welter of ethno-nationalist counterrevolutions all over two continents. It's a much less affluent world than our own, and Western popculture is all bubblegum escapist fantasies about an imagined golden age before the war. In the year 2010 Warsaw and Paris are still bombed-out wastelands, but rumor has it that the US-Australasian Alliance has plans to put a man in orbit by the end of the next decade.

>>11, what's it like in the parallel universe where H. Ross Perot was elected US President in 1992?

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 05:23

It's pretty cool. The national deficit is gone, the Federal government is lean and unobtrusive, and there's no income tax any more. The economy is chugging right along, stronger than ever, and all other nations look up to us as a shining example of the best mankind can offer the universe.

Except for North Korea. Those guys are just crazy.

>>12, what's it like in the parallel universe where anti-gravity technology turned out to be the simplest thing ever?

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 14:30

The Patent Office took out a restraining order against me because I kept flying into their third-floor windows, and still won't allow anyone to patent it. :(

>>13, what's it like in the parallel universe where in the 9th Century, the big wave of Viking raids and Norman invasions was against Spain and the Mediterranean coast of North Africa rather than Western Europe?

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 03:49

Islamic society in Al-Andalus degrades, scholars don't flourish there, ancient Greek and Roman knowledge never gets reintroduced to Europe, the Renaissance never happens, Europe remains in the dark ages until the mid-20th century when it gets colonized by China.

>>14, what's it like in the parallel universe where the Central Powers win World War I?

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 20:31

The Central Powers built NIC Control Towers, it was only a few hours until there were no more flowers. On the other hand, pigs evolved and have even better tasting meat, though meat from females tastes better so new jobs opened up such as the job I got when I went there, I was a pigsower which was basically giving pigs sex change operations

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 20:33

I heard you've been to the "blood is heroin" universe, >>16, what's it like?

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 22:21

Everyone overdosed at birth. There were no survivors.

What's it like in the universe where soylent blue is people, >>17?

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 23:55

Soylent Blue is tasty and nutritious but it's kind of trippy seeing John Wayne as Robert Thorn and Eli Wallach as Sol Roth. Imagine John Wayne shouting "It's people! Soylent Blue is people!" and you'll understand.

>>18, what's it like in the world where the Shah of Iran remained in power, and a modernized, Westernized, industrialized Iran made a peaceful transition to Western-style representative democracy/constitutional monarchy in 1991?

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6382 20:53

Their version of this thread derails into a political shitstorm when somebody asks a question implying that Iran would have been better off if Ayatollah Khomeini's revolution had succeeded and the next person wittily contradicts them and poses a question slanted toward their worldview.

>>19, how's it going in the universe where nobody has any feet?

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6382 23:34

It's not too good >>18! Everyone's missing appointments because they can't walk!

Hope it's going better for you in "massive-statue-praising universe" >>20!

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 03:37

>>19 We used up all our resources making massive statues to praise, so much like the inhabitants of Easter Island, we all died out.

>>21 What's it like in the parallel universe where Nintendo accepted iD Software's proposal to port Super Mario 3 to the PC?

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 11:19

There's no significant difference, >>20. Beady Eyes got involved and derailed the project, the same way he derails threads. The project memos were released and were briefly on the New York Times best-seller list of comedy and humor books, though.

>>22, what's it like in the parallel universe that's identical to this one, except that about ten minutes ago, in a sandstorm on the surface of Mars, a single particle of dust moved a centimeter or two away from the position held by our universe's version of that particle?

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 18:01


>>23, what's it like in the parallel universe where underwear cleans itself?

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 20:20

It's lemony fresh.

So I heard Spain conquered the UK at the beginning of the 20th Century in your universe >>24? How's that working out for you?

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 20:22

>>22 Middle-aged Japanese businessmen don't have any dirty panties to sniff, so the perv shops sell used gym-wear instead, resulting in much more sport-related hentai.

>>24 What's it like in the parallel universe where Neanderthal Man didn't die out?

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 21:24

Paellas are the most popular dish in the world. Also, all Brits are terrific dancers with handsome smiles and straight teeth.

DQN is the most popular website in the world. Also, all vippers are terrific dances with handsome smiles and straight teeth.

>>26, how's the alternate universe where the USA President was a giant mecha loli?

26 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6383 21:30

>>23,24 Spain is currently in all-out war with Neanderthal Empire. Stone missiles were recently introduced which made all weapon enthusiasts happy.

>>26 What's it like in the parallel universe where US and SU were competing to send the first man to Mars?

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 21:33

>>25 activists all over the world demand to ban USA.

Meanwhile, >>26's universe collapsed.

>>27 What's it like in the parallel universe where personal computers are as big as a wardrobe?

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 01:45

>>27 ENIAC was as big as the state of California. Illegal immigration was reduced dramatically because you had to have some serious computer technician skills to get anywhere.

>>29 what is the parallel universe like where Karl Marx was a hardcore capitalist?

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 14:22

There's surprisingly little difference, >>28. Leftist intellectuals and revolutionaries call themselves "Engelsian" or "Trotskyist" instead. Well, Leutonia from the old SCTV sketches became a real country in 1924. We're still not sure how that happened. Otherwise, you'd hardly notice.

>>30, what's it like in the parallel universe where everyone really IS named Squeeks?

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 19:37

>>29 Everyone wears a poop hat and has a shitty formspring account.

>>31 what's it like in the parallel universe where North Korea turned out to be a giant mech disguised as a country?

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 21:13

>>30 ... That's this universe.

>>32 How's that world where Atlantis is well above sea level?

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 00:32

>>31 It rose up into the sky, never to be seen again.

>>33 what is it like in the universe where the speed of light is 10 km/h?

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 04:52

It's kinda boring. The sky is completely plain at night because no starlight has reached Earth yet.

>>34, how's it going in that universe where a freak solar flare interfered with human genetics and caused every baby born in the 1970's to be French?

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 05:17

à >>33 : quoi ?

>>35 Quelqu'un at-il comme ça quand George W. Bush fait ouvert la porte unopenable en Chine ?

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 12:04

>>35 Je ne sais pas la possibilité! Qui vous a dit quelque chose qui veut dire quelque chose! Je ne comprends pas le monde!

>>36 the report is: "Babelfish" technology is of the brain of the person made, and thus it speaks in a world of parallel. Tell, you.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 17:43

>>35, it even brain pancake crystal elderly.

>>37, what's it like in the parallel universe where no one has yet conceived of the idea of parallel universes?

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 04:19

>>36 what are you talking about?

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 04:42

>>37 I dunno lol, how can I explain this when you don't even understand what you asked me to do but asked me to do it anyway? ... holy shit. I need a drink. Boy am I confused.

>>39, what's it like in the universe where hotdogs can miraculously cure just about anything?

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 07:26

All vegetarians died years ago.
>>40, how is the universe where snow is ice cream?

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 15:06

>>39 it's really, really sticky in spring.

>>41, how's the universe where all of our devices are flintstonian creatures.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6387 00:22

I'd describe it in more detail, >>40, but the angry bird with the hammer and chisel inside this computer can't keep up with my typing.

>>42, how is it in the universe where the answer really is 42?

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6387 00:52

Pretty boring. Now that everyone knows, nobody strives for anything any more.

>>43, how is it in the universe where people reproduce by budding?

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 15:30


>>44, how is it in the universe where there's butter vending machines on the street and every house has a vodka tap?

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 17:01

Everyone is speaking Russian! I can't understand them.

>>46, what's it like in the universe where this thread isn't essentially a repeat of http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1250006606/l50 ?

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 17:02

Shit. I meant >>45. Although I suppose >>46 will have to answer it now anyway.

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 23:29

>>44 and >>45, it was briefly amusing, then the thread was derailed by Beady Eyes.

>>47, what's it like in the universe where North Korea, whose inhabitants are sometimes called "Norks," is actually inhabited by Orks?

47 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6389 00:19

< ˃ ヮ˂> >>46, Corea proved its superiolity, nida. Everyone erse is non-existent, nida.

< ˃ ヮ˂> >>48 you tell me what's rike in the univelse without communism, nida. You tell how to invade, nida!

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 01:24

>>47 I'd answer that in full but I can't because I have a 12-hour workday and the boss will fire me if he sees me on here. As for invading us, don't worry, we'll collapse into barbarism soon enough.

>>49 What's it like in a Universe where clothes don't exist?

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 01:28

>>48 It makes life with a small penis even worse.

>>50 what is it like in the universe where Earth's continents were always like Pangea?

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 03:03

>>49 You wouldn't believe how close-minded everyone is.

>>51 Tell me of the amazing world where dinosaurs are assassins for hire.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 06:51

>>50 It's not great.

>>52 So, how is that furfag nonexistence universe going???

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 08:25

Life without Espeon is great, man!

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 15:13

>>54, in the universe where >>52 didn't forget to post a question, what did he ask, and what was my response to it?

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 17:41

>>53, in that universe >>52 asked a question about what it's like to live in a parallel universe where Space Nazi Bad Guys ride on saddled dinosaurs and do battle against the forces of Good, who have giant robots and caped superhumans and hot-blooded heroes. Also, there are monkeys, pirates, ninjas, and zombies. And your answer was that it is AWESOME. Dangerous, but awesome.

>>55, what's it like in the universe where there was no drastic sudden influx of new users to Usenet and the Web in September of 1994, and there was no Eternal September?

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 00:17

>>54 It's horrible! Civilization is gone, governments collapsed, and the rule of law has disappeared. A few thousand days ago a horrible computer bug caused by the weird calendar they adopted for some reason made all technology stop working and society immediately collapsed. Thankfully, for us, September 2313th, 1993 came and went completely uneventfully.

>>56, what's it like in the universe where humans have an instinct to chop down trees with their teeth and use them to build dams?

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 00:58

I'm too busy gnawing on logs to talk about that, >>55

>>57, what's it like in the universe where the giant disembodied head of Colin Mochrie floats eerily over the landscape, shooting lazers out of his eyes pew pew pew?

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 01:22

>>56, motion pictures were invented in the 18th century for the express purpose of creating animutation, so our cinema technology is about 100~200 years cooler than in most universes, though other technology kind of lags behind as a result of everyone being a little caught up in the flicks.

>>58, what was it like in the universe where we found out that Junior is Grandpa... from THE FUTURE?

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 03:50

The stable time loops make it one hell of a confusing place. For example, King Henry IV is the 49th President of the United States. Very few people are history buffs because it makes most people's brains hurt too much. As a result astrophysics is a very popular field, and we've set up colonies in several remote galaxies.

>>59, how's that universe where anyone has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 05:18

>>58 it's really cool, everyone is remarkably dressed!

You must get so much pussy, >>60, seeing as sex is food in your universe and you are really fat.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 08:11

>>59 Actually my belly has swollen from severe malnourishment.

>>61, what's like in the universe where DQN doesn't exist?

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 12:26

>>60, that universe contains a SECRET AREA OF VIP QUALITY and DADDYCOOL will tell you about it for $10. Oh, wait.

>>62, what is it like in the universe where time travel is invented, then later on some crazy person travels back in time to kill the inventor before he can invent the time machine, over and over and over?

62 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6391 00:12

>>61, it's alright for everyone but these two poor fellas who stuck in the loop.

>>63, what is it like in the universe where everyone is allowed to carry a pistol and has a right to kill one (and only one) other person?

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 05:14

>>62, very strange. Sometimes, when you're walking down the street, you hear a loud bang and turn to see some poor sap fall to the ground leaking blood everywhere. There is a small market for "extermination janitors", those on-call to clean up after the murders, and on the whole it's quite surreal.

>>64, what's it like in the universe where instead of video games, "Generation X" grew up primarily with increasingly maddening adaptations of the Rubik's Cube and various other twisty puzzles?

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 05:46

I brought back a picture of the greatest accomplishment of mankind. Have a look!

>>65, what's it like in the universe where women could take sexually explicit pictures of themselves that used neither a dirty mirror nor a blurry cell phone camera?

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6394 00:04

>>64 They proceed to load the picture into photoshop, and make a really shitty edit.

>>66 if the Rickroll wasn't used, what crappy 1980s song would be used as a prank?

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6394 04:40

>>65 I visited a number of universes where songs other than "Never Gonna Give You Up" are used to humorously misdirect people. Surprisingly, I found that they tend to gravitate towards the title theme from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. We're sort of an oddball universe in that we picked a 1980's song to begin with; most of them use music videos from the late 90's to today that feature bad CG graphics and involve the artist making a fool of himself.

>>67, What's it like in the universe where water occurs in situations that generate electricity in our universe, and vice versa?

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6395 22:14

>>66, Pikachu is a Water-type

>>68, what's it like in the Universe without this thread?

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6396 11:08

>>67 WARNING: Division by zero in /4-ch.net/DQN/

>>69, what's it like in the universe where seeing the number 69 doesn't cause adolescent giggling?

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6396 11:19

>>68, not well

Tell me >>70, what is it like in a world without niggers?

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6396 14:30

>>69, 4channers have to be more creative in their attempts to annoy.

>>71, what's it like in the universe where Karl Marx never wrote any books?

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 01:16

>>70, Linux never caught on, and everybody uses proprietary, closed-source models.

>>72, what is it like in the universe where you need three humans to procreate instead of two?

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 05:44

>>71, marriage never caught on. It's hard enough to keep two people together, let alone three. And it's harder to get laid too, since you have to convince two people instead of just one.

>>73, what's it like in the universe where sentient life evolved from cats instead of apes?

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 07:06

>>72, you can find Akihabara cafés where cute young girls dress up in maid uniforms and put on monkey ears and tails and try to say as many "ook"s as they can.

>>74, what can you tell me about the universe in which every person is required to go through a coming-of-age ritual involving tripping on ayahuasca?

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 10:19

The strongest adult bulletin board in Japan

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 10:40

>>74 (・々゚) aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAああああああああああ

>>75, what's it like in the universe where nobody ever wastes anyone else's time (if you don't mind this universe's intrusion in my asking)?

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6410 18:59

>>75 never got an answer before being pulled into a single point from every direction spontaneously, which (to be fair) happened promptly and without any needless pleasantries.

>>77, what's it like in the universe where Richard Nixon really ended his political career for good after losing the election for governor of California?

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6410 20:17

>>76, Lyndon Johnson was reelected to the Presidency in 1968 only to become the central figure in the big Shoreham scandal of 1970, in which it was revealed operatives from his campaign were caught bugging the hotel rooms of perceived political rivals of both parties during the 1968 Democratic and Republican conventions, and was impeached and removed from office for his part in the cover-up. In that world's lexicon of American English political terms, affixing the prefix Shore- to something designates it as a gigantic shameful scandal.

William F. Buckley was elected President in 1972 on the Republican ticket, only to be assassinated minutes after taking the oath of office by Gore Vidal.

Vice President Barry Goldwater served the remainder of his term, which historians note for his authorization of the use of tactical nuclear weapons in Vietnam and his declaration of war against and invasion of Saudi Arabia in November 1973 in the response to King Faisal's seizure of US-owned oil fields and creation of OPEC.

>>78, what's it like in the universe where I thought of something funny and clever, instead of trying to create a vaguely plausible alternate history?

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6411 00:44

i'm jealous of your work >>77, the grass is indeed greener in your universe

No guns in your universe >>79!? What's it like?

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6411 13:04

I'm afraid I can't answer you, as there is a spear stuck in my head.
>>80, what's it like in the universe where the heart is where thinking happens, witches exist, and other such old-timey misconceptions are actually true?

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6411 23:38

( ゚ -゚) >>79, most people lose their souls to all sorts of dumb things, like cameras and looking into mirrors at night.

>>80, What's it like in the universe where North Korea is an alright place?

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6412 00:31

>>80 The leader's theatrical plays are not nearly a funny or epic.
Good thing there are a huge number of other TV shows thanks to the fact that state-owned media is a tiny fraction of all media here. Sometimes I hang out with some South Korean friends, and we all have a good time making fun of Japanese. It sure is a relief not hearing American military guys say stuff to us, defending those people.

What is the alternate universe like where you can make a comic book character come to life if you really want it to?

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6412 01:43

>>81 Some chucklefuck summoned Galactus and now there are no comics any more.

>>83, What's it like in the universe where no one ever bothered to colonize Canada?

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6420 23:01

>>82 Nobody ever learns how good seal blood can taste.

>>84 What is the universe like where the Nissan R32, R33, and R34 GT-R was also made with left-hand drive, and sold in the USA and in most of Europe?

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6425 14:30

I'm sorry, but I couldn't answer faster since our internet conection is so slow... there may be already like 80 post in this thread when mine arrives...
This world is interesting. You can see some relativistic effects on plain sigh, but there are no cars, since they need a lot of fuel to reach 6/7 km/h and you would need to readjust your watch when you arrived your destination (and you should pray so it keeps being there)... not to talk about a crash at that speed...

By the way, >>33, how in the hell did you manage to answer that quickly?

Let's hope I don't miss this:
>>85, how is the world that 83 suggested? (this way, if I did it right, I won't break the chain).

85 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6425 23:00

>>83,84, slowly but surely people around the globe became as soulless as these cars. Those horrible blank faces...

>>86-san, what is the universe like where absolutely everyone has beards, even little kids?

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 06:03

Huge quantities of toothpicks are wasted on a daily basis. Deforestation is a huge problem.

>>87, how's the universe where there's always a rainbow in the sky?

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 07:09

>>86 They've lost their charm.

yeah so >>88 everyone's head is a musical instrument? How does THAT work?

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 08:54

Well, >>87, most people are good at playing themselves, but the most interesting relations arise between people who are good at playing others. The only problem is some people's heads are higher quality instruments than others, so there's lots of discrimination and prejudice.

Also, being born with a piano for a head is a curse.

>>89, how's it feel to live in a universe where semen is both healthy and delicious?

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 12:55

Chew fed deaf da logo!

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6427 00:09

>>88 The birth rate is low because having semen put up a vagina in that universe is considered as wasteful as using a fine wine as a douche in this universe.

>>91 what is the universe like in which smoking cigarettes makes people live 10 years longer?

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6443 00:36

>>90 All the now almost-immortal people have retreated to underground cities with the last remaining supplies of clean air, because Earth's atmosphere is now 70% second-hand smoke.

>>90, what's it like in the universe where the MPAA is exclusively dedicated to porn movies, and the only movies without sex scenes are made in Europe and Japan?

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6447 20:56

>>91 Americans would have to entertain themselves by re-creating scenes from Jackass in real life.

>>92 What is the universe like in which with enough martial arts training, one can fly, fire Kamehameha beams, power up and do various other things from Dragon Ball Z?

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6448 00:39

>>92, it's devoid of life more complex than blue-green algae. It seems that since every intelligent tool-using life form sooner or later comes around to the idea of martial arts, then spawns some chucklefuck who destroys the planet with a super-focused-hiryu-shoten-ha-kamehameha attack in a fit of pique at his ex-girlfriend.

>>94, what's it like in the universe where Beady Eyes doesn't derail threads?

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6448 23:35

>>93 ( ・-・) It is unbearable.

>>95 ( ・-・) What's it like in the universe where this thread was derailed?

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6449 00:54

>>94 We just got on with our lives.

I must say I'm quite envious of you >>96, living in a universe where all music is free and legal, and musicians do it for the love rather than dreams of fame and fortune. Surely there's a downside?

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6449 01:09

>>95 at least in this version of this universe, all musicians live in abject poverty, instead of just most of them.

>>97 Any difference in taste between the universe where chlorophyll is purple and this one?

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6465 14:51

>>96, the Purple People Eaters have an easier time sneaking up on us if we go outdoors without our thermal vision goggles.

>>98, what's it like in the universe where the average IQ is forty points higher?

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6465 22:16

>>97 We don't have *chan sites here, sorry.

>>99 What's it like in the universe where humans don't have penises and mate the way birds do?

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6466 03:09

>>98 Penises seem unnecessarily intrusive. Also, a whole lotta scissorin' goin' on.

>>100 What's it like in the universe where cats have thumbs?

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6466 03:55

>>99 Cat thumb-wrestling is a fairly widespread but heavily policed sport. Awareness groups exist that try to scare people with images of fist-locked cats, while surrounding them crowds of poorly dressed third-worlders shout and whoop while holding paper bills. Also cat-sized pet-doors have been replaced with cat-sized upright doors complete with working doorknobs.

>>101 What's it like in the universe where audiophiles prefer cassette tapes to vinyl?

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...