>>2 what is the parallel universe when the Sega Master System/Sega Mark III far more popular than the Nintendo NES/Famicom?
Well, >>87, most people are good at playing themselves, but the most interesting relations arise between people who are good at playing others. The only problem is some people's heads are higher quality instruments than others, so there's lots of discrimination and prejudice.
Also, being born with a piano for a head is a curse.
>>89, how's it feel to live in a universe where semen is both healthy and delicious?
>>90 All the now almost-immortal people have retreated to underground cities with the last remaining supplies of clean air, because Earth's atmosphere is now 70% second-hand smoke.
>>90, what's it like in the universe where the MPAA is exclusively dedicated to porn movies, and the only movies without sex scenes are made in Europe and Japan?
>>92, it's devoid of life more complex than blue-green algae. It seems that since every intelligent tool-using life form sooner or later comes around to the idea of martial arts, then spawns some chucklefuck who destroys the planet with a super-focused-hiryu-shoten-ha-kamehameha attack in a fit of pique at his ex-girlfriend.
>>94, what's it like in the universe where Beady Eyes doesn't derail threads?
>>99 Cat thumb-wrestling is a fairly widespread but heavily policed sport. Awareness groups exist that try to scare people with images of fist-locked cats, while surrounding them crowds of poorly dressed third-worlders shout and whoop while holding paper bills. Also cat-sized pet-doors have been replaced with cat-sized upright doors complete with working doorknobs.
>>101 What's it like in the universe where audiophiles prefer cassette tapes to vinyl?
>>100 In one way it's great, no-one gives a shit about FLAC and there was never a loudness war, but on the other hand all audio engineers are obsessed with compressing music and most remixes just consist of the song being pitch shifted about then breaking about half-way in.
>>102 What's it like in the universe where whisky tastes like orange juice?
>>!201
Aarrj BREAKFASSTSS ARE AFUCKCING GREAT HEWRE An d bacoon is tthasty tooq and cofeefe i fukcing lobe that shittt with 6754343 sugrars and sf s some milkl in trooooooo
>11103 Qha'ts it like in the uvinerse where buialdaing marteirals crumble int otheir comnpoment parts after a few yearas!
>>112 I'll just say that everyone and everything smells of rancid semen, until you get to the basement rooms where the PCs are set up, which are surprisingly clean and pleasant.
>>114, what's it like in that timeline where the thing that does the stuff actually works and does the stuff that here it doesn't so much?
>>114
<€MΝL> kekeke, this universe is infinitely superior nida. Everybody is talking about the new manhwa, and fat American housewives watch K-drama instead of soap opera nida. But choppari still not give us our apology juice nida.
>>116
<€MΝL> What is it like in the universe where we actually got our apology juice ni-ka?
>>118 In the West being a gamer is considered a mental disorder in all but name, in Japan and Korea, everyone under the age of 60 either weights less than 6 stone or more than 30, arthritis is a largely ignored epidemic, the economy and class system is largely based on Tohou speedruns ever since society had to rebuild itself after the great Starcraft scandal of 2010 and Daigo is pretty much treated as the unofficial emperor of Japan, which really doesn't make much difference to his lifestyle.
>>120 What is it like in the universe where procrastination does not exist?
>>121, >>120 has OBVSLY tapped the power of TANASINN.
Also, in the universe where steampunk stuff actually works and is practical, an enormous clockwork golem went on a rampage in Paris last week, clanking about the city smashing things, naturally immune to bullets and cannonballs due to its massive riveted armor, and only stopped mid-frenzy because its AI computer got a tiny thin bit of onionskin paper jammed between two of its gears, causing it to jam and halt. And a mysterious madman calling himself Doctor Malice is besieging Schenectady, New York with an army of mechanical beetles, demanding "one meelion dollars" ransom to spare the city. It kind of sucks here, actually. It's dangerous and dirty, and the fact that all the women wear brass-boned corsets and tiny top hats does not quite compensate. Not every woman has the figure for a corset, you know.
>>123, what's it like in the universe where the Internet bridged cultural gaps and made the world more peaceful and democratic back in the 90s, as we all hoped it would, instead of being taken over by the corporations and turned into basically another kind of television?
>>125 We reached moral and technological zenith ages ago and now spend our infinite quota of time entertaining ourselves in an infinite processor-space where, sometimes, things aren't as perfect as they were for us.
>>127 What's it like in the universe where humanity has always and will always possess the immovable conviction that penguins are somehow the most divine creatures in existence?
>>130 Governments have conjunctive prescriptivist-execution departments designed for the sole purpose of dealing with rogue squads of publishers who write and distribute whole anthologies rewritten to be as grammatically incorrect as possible. The Internet was shut down very quickly, and no new written material is ever published except by authorized facilities whose works are thoroughly scrutinized for their purity. Speech is, for most, the sole method of communication, and a tentative one at that. The once beautiful sprawling progression of languages worldwide has been halted to a standstill.
>>132 What's it like in the universe where Ron Paul Ron Paul?
>>131,
We met him on a Monday and our hearts stood still,
Da doo run Ron Paul, da doo run RonAnd then we learned he'd veto almost every bill,
Da doo run Ron Paul, da doo run RonYEAH, he's not afraid to act
YEAH, he'll cut the income tax
YEAH, he'll knock Obama flat
Da doo run Ron Paul, da doo run Ron>>133, what's it like in the universe where I actually came up with something original instead of ripping off Spitting Image without even giving proper attribution? I'm a right bastard, I am.
>>134, it's very peaceful. They have decided that war is too wasteful expensive. The roads aren't always well-maintained, but maybe they'll have the money to fix those next year.
>>136, What's it like in the parallel universe where the US remained isolationist and stayed out of all the global struggles of the 20th and early 21st Centuries and maintained neutrality and friendly relations with all powers to the best of its ability?
>>135 The US never became a major world superpower. The British Empire was re-established, and currently covers more than 40% of Earth's landmass. People drink more tea on average.
>>137, What's it like in the universe where irrefutable proof has been found that the world is going to end at the end of 2012?
>>136, everyone is panicking, except for that world's three DQNs, who are striving to get this thread up to 999 posts before the end of the world, but we are not sanguine about our chances.
>>138, what's it like in the world where fast food consists mainly of rapidly-assembled chicken or peanut butter sandwiches on whole wheat bread, served with a salad or a paper cup of steamed vegetables, and other healthy low-fat fare, instead of the greasy stuff to which we have become accustomed here?
>>137
Greasy food is a delicacy. Fried chicken costs $30 a pound and it's very hard to get outside of luxury restaurants. On the other hand, life expectancy is 100 years and everyone's slim, except the extremely wealthy... I can't say I'd rather have it any other way (though I do wish I could get my hands on greasy food more easily)
>>139
What's it like in the universe of the last animated show you watched?
>>139 I'm a very happy bunny! The birds etc. that feed on wasps in your universe carry on regardless by preying on the larger number of insects normally preyed on by wasps in your universe
>>141 What's it like in the universe where all companies are genuinely aiming to make people happy and provide good service rather than make a profit?
>>142
Remember when /dqn/ was good? I do. And it still is, actually. The fact that imagery is restricted to archaic but creative ASCII alternatives drives the userbase towards a more unique identity, even if at the heart of it we're just a sort of an English /news4vip/. It's heartwarming to think that all the time us five spent here wasn't entirely for naught... that somewhere, somehow, the cry for QUALITY reached the souls of every dokyun in the world, bringing them happily together.
>>144
What's it like in the universe where math doesn't make any sense and, for some reason, everyone really enjoys wearing paper cranes on their head?
>>149, Feline-Americans are poor a minority with a seemingly insurmountable problem with drugs and crime and are ruthlessly exploited by corporations and the prison system, keeping them in a perpetual spiral of ignorance and poverty.
>>151, what's it like in the universe where everyone is illiterate?
>>OLOLLLOLOL
>>152-feg fuck yof what is it in univress where koreens captchures the whole Eart gloub?
>>152 There are brothels, except they are where you go to get one woman who you will only have sex with your entire life.
What is it like in the universe where Toyota never stopped building affordable RWD compact cars that were like the AE86?
...
>>172
What's it like in the universe where everyone considers themselves to be a philosopher?
>>175
English as a language died out in medieval times. The language I'm speaking now is a strange conquelition of several Indo-European languages which should maritrate to your universe's English. Hopefully you can overbrank me!
>>177
What's it likζn the unζerse whζζζTANASINNζζ aζζζgniζrelgiouζζζ?
>>177
Posts get refreshed so fast you can barely come up with a witty reply anymore! I hate it so much that I opened my own /dqn/ board which nobody but me can access. It's the best freaking board ever, and all its posters agree!
>>179
What's it like in the universe where the Gensoukyou barrier was accidentally demolished by NASA?
>>178
We momentarily prioritize the investigation of strange, youkai-infested extra dimensions over space travel. Several million die, and a million-odd more spontaneously transmogrify into young girls with catastrophic superpowers. The structure of global politics changes drastically as nuclear arsenals and intelligence gathering technology are rendered all but obsolete, causing treaties, trade and foreign policy to change at the whim of grown adults with curiously immature temperaments. Society as a whole gravitates back to an institution of slavery as those with powers forcibly coerce those without them.
Very soon, however, Earth becomes overrun with strife, and we are once again drawn to extraterrestrial environments for resources and population management. Each habitable planet becomes a sort of Gensoukyo in itself, replete with "shrine maidens" monitoring them inward and out. Supernatural young girls are stationed in space as Holy Guards. Interstellar trade does not develop - or if it does, remains highly volatile due to both unfit technology and sparse demand.
Also, "bullet hell" becomes a galaxy-wide sport.
>>180
What's it like in the universe where the strong nuclear force is ten times stronger than ours?
>>179 Over 95% of the universe's available hydrogen was converted to helium and heavier elements in the first hundred million years after the Big Bang, making hydrogen, and therefore water, exceedingly rare in this universe. Life as we know it never evolved. Tens of billions of years into the existence of this universe, with its bloated, dim red suns and sterile dusty rockball planets, fragile and delicate life based on the unique properties of liquid helium did occasionally evolve in a few appropriately sheltered locales, always of course unable to tolerate temperatures higher than a fraction of one degree Kelvin. Occasionally this life eventually achieved intelligence, in the sense that they were able to perceive themselves and their environments and solve problems that arose, but never left the shelter of its cold rocky worlds far from their primaries, never made complex tools, never indeed even developed in the numbers for complex societies or civilizations to develop. And not much changed between then and the heat death of that particular universe, at the age of only thirty or forty billion years.
>>181, what's it like in the universe where Westphalian sovereignty remained the central concept of international law through the 20th and 21st Centuries?
>>182, it's a way a lone a last a loved a long the / riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.
>>184, what's it like in the universe where what is for us the "emergency mittens" button releases emergency pants instead?
The world is a much more beautiful place, rou rou~!
Next guy: What's the universe where phones work well with DQN like.