Last night I stayed with my girlfriend at her parents' house, and I dreamt that I was having sex with someone, and I could push a button and my sexual partner changed through different people, and I flicked through until it was a fat old granny, and I was pumping away then I woke up and realised I'd ejaculated in my girlfriend's parents' guest bed.
To this day, I don't know what the cc and bcc things in email do. And I've never bothered to look it up.
>>2
CC means carbon copy, as a relic from when emails were printed on paper by hand and transferred onto carbon paper during the printing process. So it's like being sent the email directly as in the To: field but it's not exactly addressed to you, only being brought to your attention.
BCC means blind carbon copy and I'm pretty sure it's the same thing, but as a recipient, you don't know who else it was sent to.
Neither are that useful as everyone should just have mailing lists.
The More You Know™
I just click on Reply All button in Outlook.
I occasionally masturbate to SJIS art.
These sound less like lame confessions and more like actual ones all the time.
>>6 They're all pretty lame though. You DQN crazies are lamewads lol
I want to say certain nasty things about various companies in my industry on the Internet but don't want to jeopardize my chances at getting employed.
I secretly misplaced my friend's notebook because he was slightly mean.
I stole ￡2 from my 3-year-old nephew to buy an energy drink.
I like things more than I let on
Every time I see blurred out windows in Top Gear, I stop enjoying it and have to repeat to myself that "it's still fun".
I almost lied in response to http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1314324451/777 just to demand something myself, but the opportunity to cheer somebody up or make them think is actually a good idea.
I'm scared of embarrassing myself in public.
Everything I post here is true.
I tell everyone that I'm an avid C++ programmer, when in reality I'm not.
Occasionally I go on Google Translate and type in something like "お兄ちゃん大好き" just to click on the listen button and hear it said in the cute Japanese woman's voice.
>>16 is that even something one would desire to brag about? That's like bragging about how many fetid pine cones one can hold in one's nostrils.
Anyway I spent all day programming when it's the first time I've seen my family since finals.
>>17
Swedish translation has a very sexy voice. Use it if you want to pretend that you are innocent little brother!
I ignored the sign and threw cardboard down the garbage chute.
I just masturbated to a video of a woman in her underwear wearing cat ears and crawling around and making hand gestures like a cat.
I love playing piano, but I lack the focus to keep practicing for more than 10 minutes at a time, so I never get much better at it.
I don't know how adult world works.
I asked for help and argued about a technical problem without reading the manual or googling it first.
I stayed an extra half-hour at the swimming pool after my time was up.
I refilled my coffee cup with soda.
If MODD applied fusianasan magic to my posts I would be deeply embarrassed.
I become deeply upset when people here post - or even just allude to - Touhou pornography. The Touhou project has been a major part of my life. It has helped me through difficult times, has shaped my life philosophy, and has done far more for me than other people ever have. I view the characters not as friends or acquaintances - we have, after all, never met - but instead almost as a part of me.
Thus, to see them reduced to mere objects to serve your bodily lust is nothing short of a travesty. I am usually reasonably good at empathy, but such an act simply stirs my emotions too much for me to be able to "live and let live" or anything similar. The best I can do is ignore it, and that isn't much of a solution - especially when it is waved in front of my face by fellow posters here.
I hate that I am posting this, because I know that people reading this who have sexualised Touhou may feel unnecessarily guilty for my sake. Well, an open message to anyone reading this: if you care even slightly about my plight, please, I beg of you, don't post anything here related to Touhou pornography, and don't encourage or respond to others who do. I've no doubt there are plenty of other places on the internet far away from the eyes of overly sensitive fools such as myself.
I'm disappointed when a jar is easy to open because I can't show off my manly strength.
The first time I read SICP I didn't attempt any of the exercises.
Maybe it wouldn't all seem so elementary if I did.
>>32
I'm gonna go read "Reimu Surrenders and is Destroyed" now.
>>33
This afternoon my mom asked me to open a jar. It took both of us, using both hands and rubber gloves. what the christ man
Granted, it was a fucking awkward shaped jar she probably wants to use as a vase that doesn't give you anywhere to grab one handed but shit was tight yo.
>>34
It probably wouldn't; a common criticism of SICP (less valid now that there are such things as Wikipedia and Google and plenty of solution attempts posted online) is that it asks all sorts of domain-specific questions where you wouldn't know where the goddamn to begin looking them up if you were a frosh, which I secret suspect may have been a ploy to weed out the students that don't have the balls to ask a professor or TA.
Unless your intent is just to say "I've read SICP" then congrats I guess.
>>23
That's not lame.
It's kinda cute and much more socially acceptable than the monstrosities I masturbate to.
At 30 years old, I still relate to the lyrics of Linkin Park songs sometimes.
>>23
My girlfriend does that, usually I find it cute but sometimes the 'nyan' every oter sentence gets on my nerves.
A long time ago, I got it into my head somehow that moot was going to shut down 4chan later that day, so I started posting shit to /b/ about Zero Hour Approaching. Unlike my usual posts, Zero Hour gained traction and got out of my control. When Zero Hour came and went with nothing happening, I just posted "Well, shit." and then went to bed.
>>40
Ugh, shit like that made me dump mine. I enjoy the peace of mind ever since.
>>41 Was that around 2009 when MGS4 was coming out? moot changed the board heading to "/b/ has changed" and the MGS4 theme played in the background? But since it hadn't came out yet most didn't get the reference and thought 4chan was getting shut down. That was the last time I was on 4chan* but I'd been bored of it for a while and visiting less, and I realised there were plenty more interesting places to discuss things on the Internet
*except yesterday to look at /a/ for the first time ever, just to see what it was like
Everything I know about smoking I learned from Ichigo Mashimaro.
Sometimes I crave a cigarette even though I never smoke.
I think I posted this somewhere on DQN before too, but I'm going to again anyway.
I always want to post in the Ctrl-V thread, but I rarely do, either because I don't have text in my clipboard, or it's something personal that I copied inadvertently during a private chat.
>>47
A couple of times when I was feeling generally anxious I wanted to smoke too. This is probably because I've seen nervous people smoke. Still, I was able to restrain myself.
http://desuchan.net/yakult/res/4964.html made me laugh so hard I cried.
>What do you call Suigintou when she smoked a lot of weed?
>A JUNKie!
What? That's not what a junkie is...
On topic, in restaurants that have tables where you can help yourself to condiment sachets, I always stuff my pockets with them, even sauces I don't like.
>>51
Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light, darns you to heck for this.
I like Dilbert a little too much. Enough to pick up that reference.
I'm intensely jealous of that guy who claims to have dreamed about Everybody Loves Clonepa.
>>55
I meant actual Dilbert comic strips which is quite a bit more worthy of a lame confession.
I only started watching anime in early 2013
>>58
So, you became one of those, about whom you used to make "funny" "ironic" jokes?
I wish I could find the Zelda CD-I Youtube Poop where the guy with the key is sentence mixed to say "Move your ass to shit on this gay cock". I have a growing suspicion that it was removed, though.
I think they also removed the Dr. Dreadful one where he says "You can make lots of gross semen that tastes gross, from my penis that tastes great". :(
>>61
I'm a programmer person and most programmer people are also quite stupid. It's subtle, though.
>>61,63
I used to think I was a superior person, but then I realized I'm actually quite stupid.
>>62
A friend of mine has the habit of always saving everything he likes online. He has multiple terabytes of videos ripped from YouTube, hundreds of games, a massive music collection, and a bunch of websites including a full mirror of Wikipedia that he keeps up to date - all neatly filed away and catalogued on a network server that's connected to a blazing fast LAN.
I think if the internet ever completely disappears, he could probably restore half of it himself.
>>67 He could set up a site that hosts videos that get taken down, and help people stitch their favourites back together?
I'd like to see a united Sweden-Finland, just for there to be a country whose outline looks like a cock and balls.
Whenever I see nonsense words, I have to read them backwards to see if they make any more sense that way.
I made a sincere, corrective wikipedia edit.
I hold a lot of grudges; I'm just really bad at maintaining them.
>>70 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f0/Map_swedish_lands.png
It does look like that. Too bad this is no longer a country.
I just put my hand under my laptop to warm it up.
For the longest time I thought she was "Rogue the Bat."
I'm still in middle school
I'm in my final year in middle school
>>76 she is kind of a "rogue", so it's understandable.
Related; my confession is that I still like Sonic Adventure 2.
I like to search for lesbian incest-themed pictures on pixiv and booru sites, especially mother-daughter. I do this at home on a computer nobody else uses, with the blinds closed.
I sometimes post kopipe on /a/
A few days ago I tried playing Runescape for the first time in many years. I used to play it an awful lot when I was younger, and came to be really rather good at it. I found that it has changed to an extraordinary extent (not surprising; it's been several years) but I somehow feel like I'm betraying my younger self by not being outraged at these changes. Actually, they were all pretty sensible and the greatest criticism I can give is that they make the game slightly too easy in some ways.
I'll continue gaming confessions. Personally, I believe that gaming is not lame but in certain situations it became so. OR well, the confessions themselves in this thread could be just lame like this one, right?
So, anyway, I just finished a good round in BF4 and after initial frustration I must report that the patch made this game a bit less stable but a bit better. Still close quarters encounters feel as if I'm against MLG PROs most of the time which is ridiculous. I could dominate other players easier in BF3, so it must have something to do with the new netcode and my webconnection.
My greatest internet legacy remains creating Lame Confessional #1
i like steering http://sageru.org/kareha.pl/823158365/ towards shota even though i'm not really into the whole shota thing.
I was disappointed when I realized that Adventure Call was just a spoof and not a real game show.
I smoked a cigarette once but I always tell people I never have.
I'm http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1368127055/458 but not http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1368127055/455
Someone was nice and I took credit for it.
I had a nightmare that you were all laughing and picking on me because I missed a 2 GET
Back when I had a Yahoo e-mail account, I would always flag Yahoo's promotional mailings with the "This is Spam" button.
I'm a guy and I think lesbian porn is stupid and boring.
I'm a guy and I think faux lesbian porn is for guys afraid that seeing a penis might make them gay, or those that just publicly pretend to like it to affirm their straightness. Lame Confession: I know because I was the latter guy in the past.
i read my captcha as codeine...it wasnt codeine
i just really really want some codeine
>>93,94
I'm a guy and I think yuri is the pinnacle of beauty, and that little other human creation can even come close to competing; a good yuri manga can put me in a good mood all day, and it is one of the greatest tragedies of my life that none of the lesbians I've met in person have been anything like those found in most yuri related media.
On the other hand, I agree that lesbian porn is stupid and boring.
I still suck my thumb.
I totally bailed on a show with my best/only friend a couple nights ago because panic attacks are no fun. Don't mind me, just gonna go do my agoraphobe thang now.
I must admit that I like cute things a lot.
I used to get around the filters at school by looking at porn through google images and rubbing my pants, until one day the window I was looking at suddenly closed by itself. I assume someone in the office monitoring them closed it but I never heard anything about it
My mother bought me a pair of mittens because she knew I liked them. I was slightly disappointed that they were the convertible type (with flaps that go over the fingers) rather than purebreed mittens.
I can't find a man-sized pair of purebreed mittens and had to make do with the same kind that >>102 has.
I misread the cuniculus of Oryctolagus cuniculus as cunnilingus.
When I was a kid, I thought the word "penis" came from that it was for peeing through. I also don't remember if I confessed this somewhere on the thread before and I can't be arsed to check.
I still lurk DQN.
I egged some VIPPER on too much and accidentally ruined an OK thread. Sorry OP if you're reading this.
I'm the OP of that thread, and no worries, sir! I remade the thread better than ever.
I was going to steal some girl's unattended underwear from the laundrette, but then I noticed that there was a security camera in the corner and got scared and left.
I once saw a chick with a huge rack wearing a T-shirt that said "LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH" across her tits. I was tempted to ask her "Does that mean I can look all I want?" but I was too chicken to.
>>110 That makes me think of a girl I met. Her shirt said "Hello. I am ^ up here" She really needed it.
Whenever I see the word "Turducken" my mind wands to split it up as "turd-ucken".
I care more about the hibernating butterfly on my windowsill than about any real life people I know. If it doesn't wake up in spring, I shall be extremely distraught.
When I see something prefaced with "the truth about..." I mentally prepare myself for it to be a pack of lies.
I was really tired when I woke up this morning, and I thought "Oh no! I must have forgotten that it's daylight saving's time, and now I've had an hour's less sleep! But it wasn't daylight savings. I just wanted more sleep, as usual.
I still find myself beginning to type "iichan" in my browser's address bar sometimes.
>>115
The truth about things prefaced with "the truth about" is that they're all packs of lies.
(´・ω:;.:...
I watched the entirety of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98T985W1azM. I loved every second of it.
>>120
Got to admit those are some pretty pro moves, though I ended up pausing around the 7 and a half minute mark.
I saw a link to "The Thing with the Quivering Jaw" on that Yume Nikki wiki and thought for a moment it said "The Thing with the Quivering Jew".
*You know me so well, I'm going through hell
Won't you please, follow me?*
When I heard these lyrics without looking at the text, I heard it as "I'm going TO hell" and thought they were pretty poignant lines. I don't like the real ones quite as well.
>>123
I have experienced the same symptom, when I first looked up the lyrics for Pink Floyd's ``One of These Days''. It got so bad for me that I intentionally started listening to music in languages I couldn't understand. That way I can listen to singers with nice voices and imagine the words are better than they probably are.
The downside is that the names of artists and albums all run together after a while, so I can't remember what I actually liked and re-listen to it.
>>124
But then you might listen to a song about some trolls (the D&D kind) beating the shit out of a couple of gay priests in a sauna until the building collapses, and never even realize it.
>>123-125
For the longest time I had a hypothesis that popularity of J-Pop, J-Rock, their Scandinavian alternatives (and the rest) in foreign countries stems from the fact that those listeners are unlikely to understand the lyrics, no matter how awkward or annoying they are.
Whenever I've just finished cooking and the hob is still hot, I rinse my hand or a wooden spoon or whatever happens to be at hand and dramatically spray the hob with drops of water, creating a hissing noise and a puff of steam. While doing this I like to pretend to be a wizard, casting spells on things.
Sometimes I think I'm the only person who thinks that Half-Life sucked.
>>125
Better to have experienced such a thing and not known it than to have never experienced it at all.
Some dork with a clipboard intercepted me on the way to lunch to ask me if I'd help stop gay bullying. When I asked if he meant stopping gays from bullying everyone else, he got confused and I went and got lunch.
>>130
Knock yourself out, then:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRVMptEjbBk
...what? You thought I was just making up an absurd example? (Ok, so I guess I inferred the "gay" part rather than it being said explicitly, but otherwise, yeah...)
>>130
Impressive. If I didn't know the contents, I would have considered that unimpressive. With context, it was somewhat entertaining. I had no idea that Folk Metal was a genre.
>>138
I once got bullied by a gay guy in middle school and he wouldn't stop trying to touch my body.
I'm glad that I wasn't raped.
Tasting Faygo is still on my list of things to do before I die even though I'm not a Juggalo or even that much of a fan of the Insane Clown Posse.
(I do kind of like ICP just because they make me laugh, though, which I suppose is a lame confession in and of itself.)
yesterday i put a brand new, clean toothbrush in my vagina to see what it would feel like. i cleaned it off afterwards. today i might do the same thing again.
Sometimes I like to split the word "warthog" as "War Thog" when I read it, and imagine an orclike creature geared for battle.
>>136
Faygo is nothing special. In the Detroit area it's just a brand of inexpensive soft drinks that the supermarkets sell.
I have a different problem. I'm stuck in Michigan for the foreseeable future and I crave birch beer. Birch beer is a soft drink manufactured and sold only in Delaware, New Jersey, and eastern Pennsylvania. It's sort of like root beer but less sweet, with a stronger, sharper flavor that has overtones of ginger and mint.
Interned at Kass, Shuler Law Firm for a year. Direct experience with scheduling litigations/court dates, file work (on and off the computer), and assitant work.
>>137
So? How did it feel? I would imagine you wouldn't feel much.
>>136
I am not a juggalo and I don't live anywhere near detroit(like 4-5 states away), but faygo is excelent. I drank a faygo redpop once and it was life-changing.
I'm eating hot dogs with ketchup on them for breakfast.
Where does the whole "never put ketchup on a hot dog" thing come from, anyway?
>>144
It comes from the fact that ketchup on a hot dog is disgusting. Mustard, absolutely. Onions, sure. Relish is good too. But ketchup?
>>143
In southeast Michigan, the REAL "ghetto" soft drink is a brand called Towne Club. That and cheap store-brand/generic Kool-Ade.
I still prefer "same fag" over "jisaku jien".
>>144 I have never heard of this...
>>145 what??
>>147 I distance myself from all those -fag terms used on imageboards (newfag, samefag, tripfag etc.) because I always picture it coming from those kind of people who think they're really edgy being part of the 4chan club, using other offensive terms just to sound hard or something. And while I sort of agree, that words are just arranged sounds, and that any meanings or offence found in them comes from within the person hearing them, it just seems immature to use them so lightly.
>>142
It was really bristly and pokey and kinda hurt the side of my vag, lol. I have a relatively small vag, I think. I couldn't really maneuver it in there as well as I thought I would be able to. I guess it felt about how I would have expected.
I used to think that Lo Wang in Shadow Warrior (the fuckin' original, not the remake/reboot/what the fuck ever) said "EAT THIS, PINCER DICK!" I'm pretty sure now that it was probably meant to be "pencil dick", but the mental image of a "pincer dick" remains with me.
He also said something that always sounded to me like nothing quite like "Sucks on balls, squashy penis." I'm still not sure what that one's really supposed to be.
>>150
I kind of want to try that now. I don't want to waste my toothbrush though. I wonder what I should do...
>>153 Just use one at the end of its life. Who cares if it's a bit minty?
My lame confession is I'm half kind of only posting this to get a more usable-in-a-sentence captcha than cholbile.
Add "Mr. Brain's Pork Faggots" alongside Faygo to my list of food and drink I want to try before I die. This one may be more difficult as I don't think you can get 'em stateside.
>>156
Faygo is alright, Juggalos mostly buy it because they are unemployable manchildren and it's cheap. There are better cheap sodas out there though.
Also, my lame confession is that one time my mother almost walked in on me washing an onahole in the bathroom sink.
Listening to Pachelbel's Canon in D makes me feel more sad than relaxed.
Up until about 5 minutes ago I thought narwhals were creatures of myth.
Instead of just moving my mouse from one place to another using the shortest path (typically a straight line unless there's an issue with the placement of my mouse on the mouse pad), I actually make it dance around, like in circles and patterns.
Sometimes I listen to music and play around with the cursor in time with the beat.
>>161 That makes me think of something many Mega Man players do. Sometimes they fire the megabuster in synch with the game music.
I tried it, but I never do it right.
Sometimes I worry I'll destroy my penis with too much masturbation.
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I take a guilty pleasure in making gaynus jokes (which I first learned here). I also had my interest in Uranus renewed by a lecturer who tried to avoid negative implications by calling the planet "Urinus". This is utterly worse. The brain is already processing "Your anus" and then it gets peed into.
I avoid contemplating about impression left on my peers by these jokes.
>>166
Please be careful with bristle hardness. I thought this was all about the wider end of an electric toothbrush at first.
>>167
During my upbringing most people pronounced it the "Urinous" way, so it took me a while to figure out why Uranus jokes were supposed to be funny.
Also, I was very disappointed to discover after downloading it that "Ubangis from Uranus" is just generic interracial porn, and not a sci-fi spoof.
>>168
If they really want to refer to the planet between Saturn and Neptune without also referring to anatomy, they could pronounce the name /ˈjʊərənəs/. That would at least give some kind of historical credence.
>>168
Keeping with an old tradition of omitting "os" in those old words, the planet is called "Уран" ("ouran") in Russian. Can't really make a pun with it.
I find XKCD unfunny.
>>171
That's not lame. I never found it that funny; I stopped reading quickly after I realised just how many strips were about breast milk and Megan, the only female ever depicted. It got weird fast.
>>171,172
Not to be that guy but I really think it was funnier a few years ago. Maybe The Big Bang Theory just ruined the whole "nerdy science joke lol so quirky" format for me but it seems like Randall really jumped the shark after he tried to do that Megan cancer story arc thing. But once every few months or so I'm reminded that it exists by a post like this and forced to go look through the new comics, hoping that maybe they stopped sucking and started being funny again and I am disappointed every time.
> The Big Bang Theory just ruined the whole "nerdy science joke lol so quirky"
I don't really see how. Most of the jokes have more to do with how socially inept they are. The whole "nerds" thing is just a backdrop (granted, an easy choice to make for the premise to be believable), and you don't have to "get" "nerdy science" at all. There's even barely any pop sci references, which is an achievement considering how much "nerdy humour" is about referencing things.
Conclusion: "nerdy science joke lol so quirky" probably ruined itself without any help from Friends v2.0.
>>172
I think I stopped reading before any of that even happened.
>>172,173
I really have no recollection of said strips. I heard something about them and that they were very personal, but I don't think I would be left prejudiced against xkcd after that. AFAIK, Megan is just a name for a generic female character. Large portion of his jokes are related to computers and space (be it science, engineering or "average user's problems"), and I find them entertaining. I haven't checked the site for a few weeks, but I like the last few comics. Plus Randall makes amusing diagrams like https://xkcd.com/1461/ or megaprojects like "Time" or "Lorenz". Sometimes his comic require a little extra explanation but mostly he does a good job keeping them simple.
[Lame confession?]: I usually take months-long break between checking various comics. The longest was Homestuck of MS Paint Adventures: I enjoyed Problem Sleuth (driven by user suggestions), so I was happy to see a comic about some homely kid and weird things that started happening to him. But a year without it (suggestion box was no more), I just felt completely left out. It seems that Homestuck is a great success for the author judging by lots of music, art and all sorts of crap for sale, but I just shrug.
TBBT played some classic science jokes and geek stereotypes well, but in just a few seasons it slumped from nerdy comedy into romantic comedy (catering to "target audience"?). One of the biggest problems is that characters are "Mary Sue of nerdom": they are scientists, programmers, gamers, comic fans, etc – all outstanding. Yet these ultranerds are inconsistent with their own biases, often contradicting themselves for the sake of making another joke (best example is Sheldon). Plus the time frame feels weird, apparently a few years have passed since season 1, our heroes are more mature and experienced now, but at the same time they look and act the same. I would have liked it if it was about perpetual (like Bart Simpson!) "young scientists" getting on with their peaceful lives with more old physics jokes.
>>177
A man earned himself his own antagonist. Now, that's a success.
>>171
everyone here feels this way i thought
my lame confession is that i think dinosaur comics is somewhat better (but still overuses jokes often)
>>171
The only person I know who actually likes XKCD is a pretentious pseudointellectual twat.
>>179,180
Not enough murder and rape in that comic to get the blood going, isn't it?
>>171-182
Yeah-yeah, your irrational and disproportional love and hate of xkcd is lame. Let's get this THREAD back on track.
Why do XKCD fans get so booty-bothered and defensive when someone says they don't like it?
I can't think of any other shitty webcomic following that gets this upset over differing opinions.
I haven't been here in a while, it's been maybe 2 years and even then I only stopped in for a second
Whenever I attempt to grow moustache, I start nervously biting on them once they are long enough thus making them look very uneven.
I tried to edit a wiki yesterday, and couldn't find the edit button for a moment because I was expecting it to say "raep", as on tanasinn.info.
>>186 Don't grow a mustache. Little girls with mustaches are not cute.
My lame confession is that I purposely derailed the grinding noises thread for a few posts with that free software argument just to see how our beloved maim master would incorporate it into the story.
>>188
It's moustache with beard – so it isn't that "your quiet weird neighbour" thing – but biting the former is much easier, it's like biting your upper lip... and then pushing down the upper lip.
Lame confession: I constantly pose as other people on anonymous boards just so I am able to post what I deem as witty replies in their stead. I can't help it.
Lame confession: Sometimes I use the "ITT the previous poster is a nerd" to confirm my nerdiness.
>>191 Shave your beard. Little girls with beards are not cute.
I meant beards but yeah bears are pretty moe too
Today I made out with my mirror image while masturbating.
I made this guy:
Λ__Λ
（ ﾟ mﾟ）
（ ）
sometimes I google things just to post it in the "post your most recent google search" thread
>>199
I'm guilty of this once in a while, myself.
Other times I really do Google outrageous words and phrases.
I don't understand what makes the word "app" so supposedly worthy of hate.
>>201
I haven't heard hate for this term specifically, but I think it might be like a hatred for new trendy terms that suddenly everyone is using and that express dumb, shitty opinions or states of mind. For example: "foodie", which seems to mean "person who thinks he's a gourmet because he bought a $200 gadget at Sonoma-Williams last week." Or "hater", which means "someone with a legitimate criticism of my masterpiece work of art that hurt my feelings, therefore he's a big meanie."
I don't lump "app" in with those words, though. It's just short for application. No big deal.
>>201
It's not the word itself. It's gained an association -- with clueless idiots, with the way people use a word they just learnt when they're trying to make themselves sound techno-savvy. Like "the cloud", "apps" are not a novel concept to the world at large, and yet people are ejaculating it at every opportunity like "selfie" and other words that are new and exciting. It's juvenile.
>>201
Anti-Apple kneejerk reaction, since they reappropriated the word to talk about specifically mobile development. Granted, their idea of how mobile applications should be developed and distributed was novel enough for the name "apps" to stick.
"App" stands for an unfinished, unstable piece of ad-ware which lacks in basic functionality.
That would explain why apparmour is so much worse than SElinux, Tomoyo, and yama.
I fucked a glass water bottle today
>>207
Please clarify: you fucked it or fucked yourself with one?
>>211
Wow, good job acting judgemental in Lame Confessional thread. That's totally lame. There are glass bottles with wider necks than a typical 0.5 l beer bottle. Still, I considered but dismissed putting my dick in one a while ago because it might happen to be a bigger hassle to pull it out than stick it in. I can't recommend this to anyone since this is inherently risky for both your body parts and reputation
Captcha: youth
>>212
To be honest, I'd be more impressed if you could fit the bottle inside your dick.
penises everywhere
>>215
No amount of olive oil is going to get an average sized dick in a glass bottle unless it has an unusually wide opening.
I hope someone with talent records that sing along song in the Clonepa thread. I'd do it, but I don't have anything to make music with.
>>216 You're right. I do have a small penis. Thank you. I shall now carry on with my life with the knowledge, gained from an anonymous user of the internet who has seen both my penis and the bottle I put it in, of my unbearably small penis.
>>216 Heat the bottle up to expand the bottle, and get the penis cold to shrink it. When you do that, it creates a vacuum effect that helps the small penis enter.
You need Jesus.
I promised myself I would get rid of all porn in my browser, but instead I rediscovered what I liked and opened more.
>>207 just buy a fucking Tenga, for god's sake. I know they're kind of expensive but they're specifically designed for fucking.
>>222
Are we still talking about this?
Is a Tenga better than a Fleshlight or haven't you compared?
>>223 I have no idea. I've only used the tenga egg thing, and it's kind of flimsy. I ended up busting a hole through the end when I came, not sure how that speaks to its quality. Maybe the fleshlight is better, who knows
Anyway, people, please don't follow the example of >>215
You may well end up at the hospital having to explain why your cock is stuck in a glass bottle
>>224
I haven't done any damage to my Fleshlights, though I don't use them that often; they're open at both ends so when you blow your load if it hits the the back it goes into the outer plastic casing instead of risking any damage to the "flesh" part. The official lube they come with is kind of gross though, and prep time is a bit of a drag.
Buy a proper Tenga Fliphole. Eggs aren't made for long-term fucking. They are overpriced "fire and forget".
I got a thick dick and the Tenga 3D was too tight. Do they have anything more accommodating?
>>227
Well, they claim "up to 50 times", but "until your dick breaks" is more like it.
>>228
One of those Tenga Fliphole maybe? Don't mistake it with "Flip Air", they are for small dicks^W^Wfor busy businessmen who travel around the world.
http://www.tenga-global.com/products/chart/hole_chart.html
I forgot that I really wanted a Tenga product until >>228 reminded me. Now, I will proceed to order a few things.
>>229
I just checked the site, and there was a product fitting application on the site. It suggested the Deep Throat US cup. Any experience with this one? Seems kinda like the most vanilla and boring one.
>>231
The wretched thing doesn't have Flip or 3D in its suggestions.
I shitpost. Please forgive me.
I also shitpost sometimes. Not all of my posts are shitposts though.
Sometimes I watch anime with headphones off and my windows open hoping that someone will wander by and say "woah, are you watching Milky Holmes? That's my favorite show, we should be friends."
>>235
As a nerd I would take another glimpse to be sure and then silently walk away with a warm realisation that somebody else is watching the show too. Probably, I would post on-line about my discovery without mentioning where it happened.
>>235 there's a guy in one of my classes who openly has JRPG backgrounds on his desktop. Haven't mentioned it yet, though.
>>235
I do something like that. I play music at a considerably loud volume, with all the windows open so my neighbour can listen and think to himself "wow, my neighbour has an amazing taste in music!" I also select carefully what albums I'm going to listen to, always thinking on whether my neighbours will be impressed and sometimes I pretend I'm some sort of radio DJ.
>>238
When my neighbors do that all I think is "what an asshole".
I missed out on my squid lolis and I'm fucking upset!
Sometimes I'm slightly tempted to grow a little strip moustache under my nose and then if anyone asks "what's with the Hitler moustache?" act all offended and lecture them that it's a Charlie Chaplin moustache.
But then I figure people wouldn't see any humor in it and just shun me. Plus my coarse, curly facial pubes probably wouldn't grow into the desired effect.
>>244
I see the humour in it, but still find it kind of stupid. It'd be best if you never do that.
anime belongs in the trash
>>244
Unfortunately, that sort of stunt usually comes off as a lame attempt to get attention, despite whatever the original intention might have been.
>>244
People won't ask you. They'll just look at you funnily and judge you silently. They might even post about it on social media. "Today I saw a weird guy who had a Hitler mustache. How edgy and awkward."
>>258 is wise, and knows and sees and hears all. May we humbly bow to >>258-san, the light in darkness and the sight in blindness, for he has created and can destroy us, and will do so for reasons we small-minded apes can know, but not comprehend. He lives in the tubes, and he has chosen us to be his people, the Favored Race of >>285. May He bring mercy to our souls. Amen.
>>246 I might agree as far as most of it goes. There are some really good series though. I haven't watched a new one for five years now so maybe it's all trash at this point
I used to think that "Faxanadu" was pronounced "facks-uh-nah-doo".
Sometimes I google the more interesting quotes from the "[BEYOND DQN] Someone else's comment from some site nobody knows [PASTE]" thread because I'm curious where they came from.
Wait, there's such a thing as a "gentoo penguin"? Here all this time I thought the Linux distro's name came from a doofy abbreviation for "second generation".
>>256
I google the ones that I think come from vox day's blog, and most of the time, they do.
I've seen so many spoofs on "roses are red, violets are blue" that I've forgotten what the original last two lines are.
I've gotten pretty good at using the can opener on my Swiss army knife because sometimes I take a can of beans into the thicket of trees behind my house and eat them cold while pretending it's a post-apocalyptic setting.
>>260
There aren't any. It was the original snowclone meme, older than the Internet, going back to the 1940s at least.
My screen is so dirty it literally looks like a snowstorm.
I'm kind of glad to have started the Punctual Gomez Testimonial riff, mostly because everyone else picked it up and ran with it.
Feels good.
I like bumping threads.
>>249
I just wish someone would make live action porn with the creativity of a Chinese cartoon. Any plot beyond "2+ people having sex in a house" would really help my masturbation sessions.
>>268
It's time to join the wonderful world of JAV watchers anon.
When I was a kid, for a year after reading this poem I was terrified of eating a peanut butter sandwich.
http://sandwichesaregood.weebly.com/peanut-butter.html
>>270
The covers of JAVs are my favourite part, the actual video is usually pretty bad.
>>270
The cosplay ones are pretty straightforward if you know the characters.
People on the train were talking about games they play on their daily commute. I mentioned Fire Emblem, and they were all like "what." Turned out they were talking about Angry Birds and Candy Crush.
I love casuals because they give me a totally undeserved and useless sense that I'm in some kind of elite.
>>275
Never engage in conversation with strangers about things that sound like things you're into. You will only be disappointed.
Got into a wrestling match with my girlfriend while scrolling through the cable TV menu when I found the last half hour of Old Yeller was on. I said "Awesome! This is the best part!" and selected it, but before I could change the channel, she said "Don't you dare!" and lunged for the remote.
It was a fierce battle and she bit my arm before I pinned her to the couch and changed the channel.
The work-related stuff I did at work today amounted to sending two emails.
Weeks after first reading >>1, I still have nothing to confess.
I don't drink coffee because I'm scared of becoming addicted and caffeine dependent.
>>283 caffeine isn't really like hard drugs, the "withdrawal" is just your body realizing how tired it actually is.
I've wanted to start a thread like the "control tower" thread for months but I never actually do it because I'm less knowledgeable than the "GM" of that thread and also I fear I would be cutting into the limited traffic of DQN and would wind up in some sort of competition with the other thread.
>>285
I tried to continue the other CYOA thread but I was unable to continue because I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't make me embarrassed in hindsight, also I think there wasn't enough interest to continue, so I just made like one post months ago.
All things considered, this is quite the lame confession.
>>285
>>286
I also want to start a CYOA, but one that will get DQNs to like my fetishes and all agree that they are erotic or at least funny and not annoying to reference nearly constantly in the CYOA subject matter, but I don't because I would have to end up writing about everyone else's weird fetishes instead and pretending that I think they are erotic or at least funny and not annoying to reference nearly constantly.
Also how embarrassing would it be if everyone hated your fetishes and you couldn't ever continue that CYOA thread or make a different one without people thinking you were the OP which you were. It would be terrible to be anonymously scorned.
This is a very useful thread.
"PINGAS" is still able to crack me up.
>>288
On a related note, I really like "cuck". Someone on /tv/ described the plot of Back to the Future as "cucking yourself out of existence" and it cracked me up.
Anime has made me cry, as in full on bawling and tears streaming down my face, exactly twice. Once was when Reuenthal died in Legend of the Galactic Heroes(I get moist-eyed thinking about that scene even now), the other was the Hidamari Sketch Sae/Hiro graduation special, when the younger girls catch up to them after the ceremony and beg them to repeat a year.
>>285-287
I ran one for a while but decided it wasn't worth the effort.
As a young teen looking at the jukebox select screen for the original Rise of the Triad, I used to wonder who Smeg was and what it meant to run like him.
Even before I understood what a Juggalo was, I thought Faygo soda was funny because the name looks like a combination of gay and fag.
I'm bumping this thread just so that other threads I like less don't stay on the front page for as long.
I have scoliosis.
I am a schoolbus
I rode the short bus.
>>302
We are all going to become filthy rich once the DQN Shirt Novel is done, printed and published. I'm sure of it. It will start a new trend among yound and daring authors. Books studying the DQN Shirt Novel will still be written 200, no, 500 years in the future.
>>302
I'm glad you share your ideas. Sites like this survive on fresh content. Besides, you're not giving up possibility of profit just because you posted them on the net, you could still publish a book that collects all your ideas.
I was 20 seconds earlier to the building than the cute girl who works on the floor below, and rather than awkwardly/creepily wait for her or make her wait for the elevator to come back, I ran up several flights of stairs instead.
It's the first day of classes and I'm nervous because I'm not good at TAing. Also, I hate commuting when this college town is full of people.
CLPPNG gives me goosebumps.
I complain that I have no friends, but the second anyone tries to message me I get irritated because I don't feel like talking. Everyday life is very lonely, so I go for walks around where I live (there's a surprising amount of sidewalks, even on highways!) and I hope that someone will talk to me, but no one ever talks to a no-good NEET.
I become afraid that not only am I a monster, but I look like one too. But then I realize even if someone did talk to me, I'd have nothing interesting to talk about, and I'd get way too nervous.
When I started playing the Final Fantasy X HD remake, one of my main thoughts was that Yuna should have been designed to show way more sideboob. Then I wondered if I should have felt bad about having that thought, then I decided that I had no reason to feel bad about it.
>>312 hey, this is the lame confessional, not comedy night. I'm not here to entertain you, I'm here to get absolution for my lame sins.
>>313 It was completely sincere, it was an interesting thought that i pondered for a few minutes...
>>314 in that case, I apologize, and I'm happy that someone else thought about the same thing I did.
>>311
I bought X-2 because of Rika's outfit.
I got a really fun game out of the deal, but it wasn't that sexy.
Yeah, X-2 is deceptive in that it looks like it's full of fanservice from the outside, but it's not really so much, especially considering the length of the game. Not even close to something like Ar tonelico or Senran Kagura or something like that.
Sometimes I'm tempted to post my own comments that I'm particularly proud of from other sites in the [BEYOND DQN] Someone else's comment from some site nobody knows [PASTE] thread. I always end up not doing it because I feel like that would be disingenuous.
>to see them reduced to mere objects to serve your bodily lust
That's your problem right there, man. Rather than interpreting sexual depiction of Touhou characters using the (polemically anti-male) concept of sexual objectification, you should interpret depiction of their sexuality as an intergral part of the depiction of their full humanity within the open canon of Touhou fan works.
After all, you do no not seriously headcanon every 2hu as asexual, do you?
> After all, you do no not seriously headcanon every 2hu as asexual, do you?
So what if I do? I also imagine them not needing to regularly eat, drink or use the toilet. At the risk of stating the obvious, fictional characters aren't real people, and have no obligation to behave like they are. Don't forget also that most of them aren't even human, and those who are are young enough that it wouldn't be surprising if they weren't interested in sex.
For years, I have had a recurring fantasy in which I am in Japan and I talk endlessly about random topics.
Most of the human characters are in like their early twenties. Everyone in the entire series is drinking alcohol constantly and Reimu is occasionally seen smoking a kiseru.
I ran out of toilet paper and dish soap the other day and instead of overcoming my social anxiety long enough to leave the house and go buy more I just ordered a pizza and asked for extra napkins and for some paper plates.
>>323
Funny, I'd take going to the self-service at Tesco over interacting with the pizza guy any day.
I never joined my university's anime society because I was scared of being judged for watching almost exclusively stupid moeblob anime.
Some people in my dorm were watching anime in the lounge, and in an effort to be friendly I decided to sit in for an episode. It was a pretty awful show to begin with, some maximally-contrived reverse harem where like eleven guys are all trying to get with their one stepsister, but it was also dubbed, and the whole time everyone was gushing over how this was a superstar voice cast and how great it was. I left because my cringe-o-meter was about to break. Like sure, not everything I watch is a pristine magnum opus for humankind, but come on, you're making me look bad.
So many people seem to admire me for my ability to not give a fuck what other people think. In reality I'm just paralyzed on how to react because it's all I can think about.
I don't visit here often enough and when I do I just make old jokes that have already died out. also, I necrobump threads
>>320
But your charge of "muh ujectufukayshin" to anyone who disagrees with your boring headcannon is ridiculous; obviously we are sexual beings, so we in projecting our own humanity onto fictional characters would percieve them to posess sexuality.
> "muh ujectufukayshin"
When did I ever say you aren't allowed to sexualise them? I'd just rather people keep that to themselves, and realise that not everyone wants everything to be sexual all the time.
> obviously we are sexual beings
Speak for yourself. I personally find sex rather dull and unpleasant.
jizz on Reimu's armpits
>keep that to themselves
No. I do not wish to display a "public face" on an anonymous board.
>speak for yourself
It was an exclusive "we".
>>330
Anecdata does not refute a generalisation. "Speak for yourself" as the entirety of your response simultaneously screams both "I'm a special snowflake, look how different I am!" and "Obviously my experience mirrors many others', behold my obnoxious lack of empathy!"
I really wanted to like Animal Crossing but I just can't get into it (or the sequel.) It's too limited to be a good sandbox but too aimless to be anything else.
my butt itched but I didn't scratch it and I went to bed with it itchy
archived purehoe's first post for future generations (and other textboards) to enjoy and laugh at
great confession, it was pretty lame
>>333
As the person he was replying to, it was kind of my fault for not specifying.
>>333
I am nobody in this conversation, but your response seems backwards. If X makes a sweeping generalization, Y refutes it, and X 1) complains and 2) maintains the generalization, it is X, not Y, who is demonstrating an obnoxious lack of empathy and claiming to represent the world.
>>341
I'm not convinced that Y hasn't refuted anything. Here's how I'm picturing it: If X spoke and was unchallenged for a while, one could very reasonably believe the statement. But if Y rejects the statement, we now have only X's word and Y's word. There is no reason to assume that either X or Y are more typical elements than the other, so I don't think any wider conclusion can be reached. (That is, of course, in the "general" case, of course. No comment on the specific case that prompted this.)
If a third party Z comes in, then certainly things change. I can't say anything about the probability of such a reply being X vs Z, though. I can imagine X defending the original statement, and I can imagine a bystander speaking up. It is unfortunate side effect of these nameless discussions that determining this is hard.
When I was a kid, I thought people meant "bamboo chute" because it is a bamboo shoot is in a plausible shape to call it so.
Just now I took longer than I normally would have in the office toilet because someone knocked on the door. I stood around with my hands in the stream of water from the tap and enjoyed being the lord of my own little domain.
Then I went out and got a coffee.
I stood in a stairwell for 20 minutes with my ear pressed against the wall, waiting for a guy to arrive at his office. I then exited the stairwell and pretended to be coincidentally walking by, just so that I could talk with him before he had a chance to open his office door and start making those uninterruptible, hours-long phone calls he always makes.
Just as I was falling asleep last night, I thought of a great idea for the game I'm making. I woke up enough to scribble a bunch of notes about it and then after a half hour or so of feeling really good about my amazing brain, I fell asleep. When I woke up, the only part of all that chicken scratch I could make out said "then they".
All I could remember was something about colorful rotating cubes.
I sprawled out on the couch for a nap, and like clockwork, my cat jumped up and curled up right behind my ass. After a while I felt a fart building up pressure, and I got up and went to the can. Farting on the cat isn't any fun without a witness.
>>346
All my best music ideas materialise in the moments before sleep. I convince myself I'll remember them in the morning, knowing that even the slightest distraction of getting up to jot them down would purge them from my mind.
Sometimes I scroll through PDFs just to look at the typesetting.
I lied about brushing my teeth in the morning because I didn't want it to seem like I was laying in bed having not accomplished anything for the 2 hours after I'd woken up which then made it so that I couldn't brush my teeth without exposing the lie, and so I felt gross all day.
My ultimate sexual fantasy is to go back in time and NTR myself. To steal my teenage girlfriend and make her orgasm over and over with my superior sexual prowess as my younger self watches and masturbates.
I stayed up late on the internet again instead of studying.
( ;_;)
the poo in a butt thread is my most successful one yet.
>>356
Sucks to be you. As for myself, I started the original "post your lewd thoughts" and "1000 things LSD stands for" threads on SAOVQ!
I have downloaded several hundred gigabytes of animu over the past week. Some of it is old classics I've never gotten around to watching, some of it is guilty pleasures, and some of it is just random stuff I legitimately can't remember why I decided to get. I don't watch animu all that much anyway, and judging from past downloading binges, I feel a great deal of doubt as to whether I'll ever watch it all before I die.
Somehow there is more guilt in my heart from the wasted bandwidth than the fact that I illegally obtained the products of thousands upon thousands of hours of highly skilled labor without paying for any of it.
>>360
There's something satisfying about mass downloading shit. I recently downloaded a 23 gigabyte torrent of old PC-98 games only to discover that emulation is shit on OSX so I'll probably never actually play any of them.
One thing I've learned about the internet is to never assume stuff will be around forever... It might not be such a bad idea to mass-download animu and save it for a day when it's not available anymore.
Digital hoarding is also a lot less troublesome than actual hoarding.
>>361 I found using Parallels Desktop to run Windows XP on my mac was good for playing PC-98 games
I once translated an ero manga and it was a lot of fun. I wish I could do more, but it's pretty much impossible now that I'm married and working full time.
I had a Japanese girlfriend for a while. One day after I told her a little about my day, she said "Oooo, you were rucky!" and I had the hardest time not laughing.
When I was a little autistic kid watching tv, I'd sometimes focus so hard on trying to read a character's face that when I randomly remember some scene I watched back then, that character's face would be perfectly still, and its arms would go from down at its sides to flailing randomly all over and then back to its sides.
A waitress was asking me whether I want soup or salad, but I thought she was saying super salad, so I just said "yes," and everyone laughed at me.
It still kind of weirds me out to think that James Rolfe has a kid.
I always snicker a bit at the video game title "Altered Beast" since, at least where I come from, the word "altered" when applied to an animal is used as a euphemism for "neutered".
Sometimes when I go to the bathroom I sing "For He's A Jolly Good" in my head but with the lyrics changed to "I gotta go to the bathroom"
I still wish that TVs had those cool knob settings that changed how the screen looked. You could change the hue of the video, the sharpness, the contrast, and even the white balance that was used.
>>376
It's not knobs, but on most TVs you can still usually adjust most of that stuff if you dig through the menus.
Knobs were brilliant. CRTs were brilliant. I had a crusty old 1600x1200 CRT for Mac OS 9.2 before the LCD resolution. (that was a pun)
All this talk of knobs makes me think of the British slang meaning of the word.
I'm always thinking of knobs, if by knobs you mean dicks
The real reason I don't use facebook/social media is because I'm afraid that one day I'll be fapping away and accidentally hit that "share this on facebook" button that every single porn tube site has for some godawful reason.
I just spent a week's salary on cute frilly clothes for crossdressing purposes.
I find it weird to see "Lol" written. "lol" or "LOL", sure, but "Lol" is just kind of weird.
I know a couple people who use "LoL"
I don't clean up with a tissue after I jerk. Instead, I lick my hand clean.
>>387
That's okay if they're referring to League of Legends rather than Laugh Out Loud.
Use of enjambment in a haiku really disgusts me but google suggests my distaste is not as widely shared as I had thought.
Barfed so hard noodles came out of my nose
lol
Sometimes when I'm writing a text message and the auto-correct/auto-suggested word is particularly funny I just leave it in on purpose so I can make a "ducking autocorrect LOL" joke. Earlier it changed "Kroger" (a regional grocery store chain) to "Korea", which I thought was funny since my message ended up reading something about walking to Korea to buy bread.
I would like to use services from a certain small LLC, but I don't want to tie my personal brand to theirs.
use of enjambment in a
haiku really irks
me, but it's quite popular
When I was a kid I thought Hitler was a title instead of some dictator's name, since "hit" is a violent action and all sorts of people get called Hitler for frivolous reasons.
Woke up, farted, and then sat up right into the fart cloud.
I have no friends.
I've posted a lie in this thread just to have something to post in this thread.
Sometimes I'll turn on one of those secret life of kittens shows just to listen to my cat growl at them.
Sometimes I'm writing a sentence or something in English and trying to think of a word a Japanese word comes into my head first, then I have to think of an English word for that word and get kinda bummed out when it's actually like three words.
I've never even been to Japan, 2018 is weird.
I still play minecraft sometimes.
If you sign up,
You can earn $1,000,000 too.
http://goo.gl/YLysV3
I sometimes get a half-chub while holding my cat. It's not that I want to fuck my cat, but the sensation of being so intimately physically close with another mammal is really stimulating and is something otherwise lacking in my miserable life.
Doom (the 90s one) is my favorite game, and I replayed it countless times.
I always leave one ice cube in the tray because I don't want to refill it.
I kind of like your genre, but I sure as hell don't know the scene.
I had something really lame, but I forgot it.
I just named a script that slightly randomizes a planet's position Dudge the Spoobnumby.
I am dissatisfied with every e-book reader I've seen, but I also don't believe I could make or commission a better one if I tried.
I just beamed brunch, the gayest meal of the day, directly into my mouth.
The main reason I'm not into alcohol is that I want to give all of them a fair shake, but I couldn't justify getting drunk that often.
I ran out of science in Kerbal
When I was in high school, I played WoW obsessively. Like I'd come home, fire up the game, and play til it was time for bed. One day I had to read some report about the Cold War out loud to my history class and literally could not stop myself from calling it the "Warsong Pact" about 20 times in 3 minutes.
I used a tall glass of oats as a fleshlight and I'd do it again
captcha: relube
I just wrote a lenghty post about a recent dream I had, detailing it's emotional impact on my currently ailing mind/pointless life, only to withold it, afterall.
It felt too personal and crude. I'd have felt too nude publishing it, anonymity be damned.
It's a lame thing, but I can't bring myself to discuss too personal matters on the internet, despite everyone else's apparent trigger-happiness to do so.
Sometimes I want to troll or be abrasive on internet forums (never DQN of course) but I start to regret my actions partway through and start genuinely engaging with people. I just want everyone to be happy and have fun.
I started writing a confession several times but I don't remember if I posted it and I don't want to risk making it twice.
I need to write a menial piece of code that'd be immensely helpful to somebody very dear but I couldn't write a single line for 1.5 months, keeping myself distracted and busy with nothing.
I don't know what a "hot take" is.
i got a good gacha roll but it wasn't the one i wanted so i'm still gonna be a bitch-ass about it
There are many early 00s memes I am glad did not survive, but I kinda wish "needs more Lain" did.
>>428
Why are you glad those memes didn't survive? Those memes were naive, those memes were pure. The worst of those memes were a thousand times better than the "black twitter"-tier memes we have now.
Good grief, how often I have referred to those times as "when /b/ was good" to never see "/b/ was never good" in response. Stumbling on a rare oldfriend saying this is balsam to the soul.
>Good grief, how often I have
Why so often?
>>429
/b/ was good for a couple of months, then it turned into a gigantic retard magnet. I don't miss it. Once in a while I'll look at /tg/ or /m/ for a bit.
I made a bunch of those little banners they used back then.
>>433
It was good for a little longer. I still remember enthusing to an university pal about it. The first thing he saw there was some gay porn. But it wasn't bad, the board.
I'd have been a respectable engineer these days if it wasn't for /b/. So, I drown my sorrow in calling other posters "retards" on the last few remotely decent boards...
i guess someone's gonna get a good chuckle out of this...
but i'm mad because my abusive fatass father ruined my bacon
Multiple times, I heard sound from trees. It sounded like a woman humming simple tunes. I could walk around them, sit down, and it just kept on.
I can relate >>435. Except it was I who fucked up the bacon because I was used to cooking with gas stoves at my mom's house. When the fucker came in to get a piece he saw the charred bacon, snatched the pan and threw it on the front steps. Then backhand slapped me and told me to clean up the front steps because "stone steps get stains". So I cleaned his mess while he bitched at me the whole time
Sometimes while I'm in public I start dancing to music I'm listening to in my head
When I was a teenager I thought enema was when drugs interacted.
Anyway the history teacher who showed us a video that said pulque was used that way took points off for me mentioning it in an essay test.
I have every post in the Youtube threads open in separate tabs
I once stole a pear from my neighbour's orchard. I don't even like pears, it was just fun being bad with my cronies.
Sometimes a reply to one of my posts will be a little too accurate and I'll wonder if it's just coincidence or a lucky guess, or if the admin is calling me out based on past post history from my IP block.
>>444
How come? Have you been making very recognizable posts lately, perhaps?
I've been putting off a call for six months because I hate calling people I don't know.
I made 90%+of the several hundred gomez posts (including Punctual) in the old countdown thread over the course of a couple of days while bored at work when it didn't seem like there'd be enough posts by to reach >>800 by day 8000.
A spam made it through to my inbox and I told Gmail to report spam. It gave me the option to unsubscribe and like an idiot I clicked it. Now instead of getting three or four a day, I'm getting up to 70 per day.
Goddaammit.
I checked the comments section for a rare unofficially released compilation record that's not allowed on the Discogs marketplace and found a guy saying to PM him for a copy. I PM him and ask if it's available to which he quickly responds saying it is. I tell him I'm interested and want a photo to make sure it's the correct version and he hasn't responded in 2 days. This is the most I've grieved over a loss in a while.
I used to be a nutmeg man
>>453
I don't want more people to know about it till I got my copy!
I would be willing to pay a lot of money for an original pressing of unkle adams Original "mini record". Thats my shameful admission.
>>453
Ok I secured a copy. It's a compilation called Red Laser Disco.
>>456
Someone has it up on Discogs for $420 with a "Make Offer" option
Sometimes I see a fabulously stupid post and think "that would be a funny one for the 4-ch comment copypaste thread", then I remember I'm already on 4-ch. Sometimes on the comment copypaste thread, no less.
I've almost completely forgotten my girlfriend's birthday which is next week and I have no idea which day it is and I'm too scared to ask, all I know is it's next week. I used to know. I even had it saved on my calendar on my old phone but I replaced it.
Nowadays when I can't find a hair tie or headband in my immediate vicinity, I just use the elastic part of a face mask so there's a mask dangling from the back of my head.
>>464 I downloaded it too on your recommendation. Pretty fun, I had a boogie!
I got inspired to get off my butt and go for a run because of the female athletes I fapped to just prior.
I was going to bump 10 ancient threads but got bored after only three.
>>468 I started this thread!
I prefer Symbian to Android.
I unironically like to read Wikihow.
Sometimes I'll suddenly pause my game like “... WTF is that noise coming from the kitchen‽” and I'll run through and it's the washing machine I switched on 10 minutes ago
>>67 did you introduce them to 4-ch? because that sure rings a bell
When I was 2 or 3 I thought the Jolly Green Giant was supposed to be a depiction of God.
>>475 ?
I bump old threads on general intentionally
I get squeamish about eating "the gross bits" like offal and fish heads.
I still haven't completed a single Pokedex.
I sometimes feel like an anonymous BBS' equivalent of an unnamed villager NPC in an old RPG. No one remembers me (not that I ever contributed anything worth being remembered by) but at least I was here.
I'm no furry but Amy Rose's is one hedgehog pussy I'd love to eat
I feel the need to announce my plans to log off in advance, so that I don't get accused of ragequitting.
I had my first bike-related incident today, in the form of push starting my dad's old bike and tripping and scraping my hands.
Feeling extremely gay now. Happy pride month.
I'm pro-fullstop-in-the-title-of-the-current-thought-thread but chickened out when creating the latest one.
Hearing about women being lonely makes me happy, because it makes me hope someone's desperate enough to choose me.
I had heart trouble last year that permanently weakened me to the point where I can't get hard any more. Now I look at some absolutely stunning women and think "eh."
i was reading about omorashi (japanese fetish of pee-holding) online the other day so i decided to give it a shot. chugged down one and a half liters of water and then i went to a grocery store. the urge for peeing suddenly kicked in while i was at a store but i managed to hold it in while i was there. it felt like walking made the whole thing worse because the motion moved my bladder (i guess), so by the time i got home i was almost peeing my pants.
has it ever happened to you that as soon as you enter your hose after a long day you feel like you need to take a shit? that's what happened with me except i felt a painful urge to pee. i layed down on my bed and by this point i was feeling like someone had kicked me on my crotch. i knew i had to go to the bathroom, on my way there i noticed i couldn't stand straight because doing so made my bladder hurt terribly. i sat on the toilet seat and one minute later i was pissing unvoluntary.
overall i gotta admit it was a pleasant experience during the first 45 minutes or so, but after that it was just painful and not in an enjoyable way.
I've listened to all of the VIPTRONICS COOL FREE RINGTONES at least a couple of times each.
I miss VGCats.
i love the smell of my sweaty asshole... if i don't shower for a few days i spend a lot of time just breathing in my dank crevice
I pulled a muscle acting out a revenge fantasy. Epic fail!
When opening DQN I often say "dokyun, dokyun, dokyun, kitaaaaaaaaaaa" to myself under my breath.
One time a guy left a rude comment on my page, so I found his instagram and found a picture of his sister, then I printed it out and jizzed on it, then I took a photo of the jizz and sent it to him
