Lame Confessional [LAME] [#2] (494)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7184 22:14

Last night I stayed with my girlfriend at her parents' house, and I dreamt that I was having sex with someone, and I could push a button and my sexual partner changed through different people, and I flicked through until it was a fat old granny, and I was pumping away then I woke up and realised I'd ejaculated in my girlfriend's parents' guest bed.

401 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8890 18:04

Woke up, farted, and then sat up right into the fart cloud.

402 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8929 21:28

I have no friends.

403 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8930 20:19

I've posted a lie in this thread just to have something to post in this thread.

404 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8930 20:26

>>403 this was the lie

405 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8965 17:36

Sometimes I'll turn on one of those secret life of kittens shows just to listen to my cat growl at them.

406 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8967 17:50

Sometimes I'm writing a sentence or something in English and trying to think of a word a Japanese word comes into my head first, then I have to think of an English word for that word and get kinda bummed out when it's actually like three words.

I've never even been to Japan, 2018 is weird.

407 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8968 14:00

I still play minecraft sometimes.

408 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8968 14:42

If you sign up,
You can earn $1,000,000 too.
http://goo.gl/YLysV3

409 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8969 20:08

I sometimes get a half-chub while holding my cat. It's not that I want to fuck my cat, but the sensation of being so intimately physically close with another mammal is really stimulating and is something otherwise lacking in my miserable life.

410 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8969 21:14

Doom (the 90s one) is my favorite game, and I replayed it countless times.

411 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8970 18:15

I always leave one ice cube in the tray because I don't want to refill it.

412 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8972 02:49

I kind of like your genre, but I sure as hell don't know the scene.

413 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-8972 04:21

I had something really lame, but I forgot it.

414 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8983 18:38

I just named a script that slightly randomizes a planet's position Dudge the Spoobnumby.

415 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9111 20:43

I am dissatisfied with every e-book reader I've seen, but I also don't believe I could make or commission a better one if I tried.

416 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9207 15:57

I just beamed brunch, the gayest meal of the day, directly into my mouth.

417 Name: vc: jipotion : 1993-09-9211 00:37

The main reason I'm not into alcohol is that I want to give all of them a fair shake, but I couldn't justify getting drunk that often.

418 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9211 19:13

I ran out of science in Kerbal

419 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9233 02:12

When I was in high school, I played WoW obsessively. Like I'd come home, fire up the game, and play til it was time for bed. One day I had to read some report about the Cold War out loud to my history class and literally could not stop myself from calling it the "Warsong Pact" about 20 times in 3 minutes.

420 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9234 15:58

I used a tall glass of oats as a fleshlight and I'd do it again

captcha: relube

421 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9262 23:26

I just wrote a lenghty post about a recent dream I had, detailing it's emotional impact on my currently ailing mind/pointless life, only to withold it, afterall.
It felt too personal and crude. I'd have felt too nude publishing it, anonymity be damned.
It's a lame thing, but I can't bring myself to discuss too personal matters on the internet, despite everyone else's apparent trigger-happiness to do so.

422 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9263 12:36

Sometimes I want to troll or be abrasive on internet forums (never DQN of course) but I start to regret my actions partway through and start genuinely engaging with people. I just want everyone to be happy and have fun.

423 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9279 13:16

I started writing a confession several times but I don't remember if I posted it and I don't want to risk making it twice.

424 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9284 15:17

I need to write a menial piece of code that'd be immensely helpful to somebody very dear but I couldn't write a single line for 1.5 months, keeping myself distracted and busy with nothing.

425 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9293 23:33

I don't know what a "hot take" is.

426 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9294 07:56

i got a good gacha roll but it wasn't the one i wanted so i'm still gonna be a bitch-ass about it

427 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9294 16:42

>>425
It's the new way to say "I have a shitty opinion"

428 Name: vc: theick : 1993-09-9339 22:04

There are many early 00s memes I am glad did not survive, but I kinda wish "needs more Lain" did.

429 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9340 02:04

>>428
Why are you glad those memes didn't survive? Those memes were naive, those memes were pure. The worst of those memes were a thousand times better than the "black twitter"-tier memes we have now.

Good grief, how often I have referred to those times as "when /b/ was good" to never see "/b/ was never good" in response. Stumbling on a rare oldfriend saying this is balsam to the soul.

430 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9340 19:58

>Good grief, how often I have

Why so often?

431 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9340 20:06

>>429
I sing of a time before 4chan.

432 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9341 01:21

>>430
No particular reason.
>>431
Do you mean that "LOL, INTERNETS" gif?

433 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9341 01:24

>>429
/b/ was good for a couple of months, then it turned into a gigantic retard magnet. I don't miss it. Once in a while I'll look at /tg/ or /m/ for a bit.

I made a bunch of those little banners they used back then.

434 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9342 05:01

>>433
It was good for a little longer. I still remember enthusing to an university pal about it. The first thing he saw there was some gay porn. But it wasn't bad, the board.

I'd have been a respectable engineer these days if it wasn't for /b/. So, I drown my sorrow in calling other posters "retards" on the last few remotely decent boards...

435 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9344 03:34

i guess someone's gonna get a good chuckle out of this...

but i'm mad because my abusive fatass father ruined my bacon

436 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9504 12:13

Multiple times, I heard sound from trees. It sounded like a woman humming simple tunes. I could walk around them, sit down, and it just kept on.

437 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9504 14:35

I can relate >>435. Except it was I who fucked up the bacon because I was used to cooking with gas stoves at my mom's house. When the fucker came in to get a piece he saw the charred bacon, snatched the pan and threw it on the front steps. Then backhand slapped me and told me to clean up the front steps because "stone steps get stains". So I cleaned his mess while he bitched at me the whole time

438 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9505 07:47

Sometimes while I'm in public I start dancing to music I'm listening to in my head

439 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9528 07:33

When I was a teenager I thought enema was when drugs interacted.

Anyway the history teacher who showed us a video that said pulque was used that way took points off for me mentioning it in an essay test.

440 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9744 07:54

kemonomimi got me into hentai

441 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9825 15:16

i never bothered to read the grinding noises thread

442 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9917 23:24

I have every post in the Youtube threads open in separate tabs

443 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 15:11

I once stole a pear from my neighbour's orchard. I don't even like pears, it was just fun being bad with my cronies.

444 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 15:26

Sometimes a reply to one of my posts will be a little too accurate and I'll wonder if it's just coincidence or a lucky guess, or if the admin is calling me out based on past post history from my IP block.

445 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 17:30

>>444
How come? Have you been making very recognizable posts lately, perhaps?

446 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 17:58

I've been putting off a call for six months because I hate calling people I don't know.

447 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9959 19:22

>>444 I've had that creepy feeling quite a few times here...

448 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-9959 21:11

I made 90%+of the several hundred gomez posts (including Punctual) in the old countdown thread over the course of a couple of days while bored at work when it didn't seem like there'd be enough posts by to reach >>800 by day 8000.

449 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9960 12:43

>>448 I already knew that

450 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9960 14:44

>>448 Because it was legendary

451 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10007 22:57

A spam made it through to my inbox and I told Gmail to report spam. It gave me the option to unsubscribe and like an idiot I clicked it. Now instead of getting three or four a day, I'm getting up to 70 per day.

Goddaammit.

452 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10007 23:07

I checked the comments section for a rare unofficially released compilation record that's not allowed on the Discogs marketplace and found a guy saying to PM him for a copy. I PM him and ask if it's available to which he quickly responds saying it is. I tell him I'm interested and want a photo to make sure it's the correct version and he hasn't responded in 2 days. This is the most I've grieved over a loss in a while.

453 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10008 11:12

>>452 What is it you're after?

454 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10008 11:14

I used to be a nutmeg man

455 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10008 21:43

>>453
I don't want more people to know about it till I got my copy!

456 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10009 01:08

I would be willing to pay a lot of money for an original pressing of unkle adams Original "mini record". Thats my shameful admission.

457 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10024 03:14

>>453
Ok I secured a copy. It's a compilation called Red Laser Disco.

458 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10024 03:42

>>456
Someone has it up on Discogs for $420 with a "Make Offer" option

459 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 16:22

Sometimes I see a fabulously stupid post and think "that would be a funny one for the 4-ch comment copypaste thread", then I remember I'm already on 4-ch. Sometimes on the comment copypaste thread, no less.

460 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 16:41

I've almost completely forgotten my girlfriend's birthday which is next week and I have no idea which day it is and I'm too scared to ask, all I know is it's next week. I used to know. I even had it saved on my calendar on my old phone but I replaced it.

461 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10062 01:20

Nowadays when I can't find a hair tie or headband in my immediate vicinity, I just use the elastic part of a face mask so there's a mask dangling from the back of my head.

462 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10062 12:16

>>460
I hope you avoided a disaster

463 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10062 13:28

>>462
I figured it out 😎

464 Name: (iœjĪªª²iœj) : 1993-09-10075 18:35

Bought a second copy of >>457

465 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10075 19:29

>>464 I downloaded it too on your recommendation. Pretty fun, I had a boogie!

466 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10088 06:09

I got inspired to get off my butt and go for a run because of the female athletes I fapped to just prior.

467 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10100 17:04

I was going to bump 10 ancient threads but got bored after only three.

468 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10100 20:34

>>443
Wasnft expecting to see you on 4-ch, Augustine.

469 Name: Augustine of Hippo : 1993-09-10111 23:19

>>468 I started this thread!

470 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10113 12:21

I prefer Symbian to Android.

471 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10114 06:55

I prefer dial-up to broadband.

473 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10304 16:08

I unironically like to read Wikihow.

474 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10353 15:09

Sometimes I'll suddenly pause my game like g... WTF is that noise coming from the kitchen‽h and I'll run through and it's the washing machine I switched on 10 minutes ago

475 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10366 19:34

>>67 did you introduce them to 4-ch? because that sure rings a bell

476 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10411 03:52

When I was 2 or 3 I thought the Jolly Green Giant was supposed to be a depiction of God.

477 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10411 09:55

478 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10478 07:55

I bump old threads on general intentionally

479 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10479 06:19

I get squeamish about eating "the gross bits" like offal and fish heads.

480 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10485 12:55

I still haven't completed a single Pokedex.

481 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10486 07:42

I sometimes feel like an anonymous BBS' equivalent of an unnamed villager NPC in an old RPG. No one remembers me (not that I ever contributed anything worth being remembered by) but at least I was here.

482 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10488 23:41

I'm no furry but Amy Rose's is one hedgehog pussy I'd love to eat

483 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10501 06:45

I feel the need to announce my plans to log off in advance, so that I don't get accused of ragequitting.

484 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10501 21:03

>>481 I feel like this irl, that's my lame confession.

485 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10505 22:13

I had my first bike-related incident today, in the form of push starting my dad's old bike and tripping and scraping my hands.
Feeling extremely gay now. Happy pride month.

486 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10517 11:54

I'm pro-fullstop-in-the-title-of-the-current-thought-thread but chickened out when creating the latest one.

487 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10523 21:47

Hearing about women being lonely makes me happy, because it makes me hope someone's desperate enough to choose me.

488 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10523 22:15

I had heart trouble last year that permanently weakened me to the point where I can't get hard any more. Now I look at some absolutely stunning women and think "eh."

489 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10529 22:44

i was reading about omorashi (japanese fetish of pee-holding) online the other day so i decided to give it a shot. chugged down one and a half liters of water and then i went to a grocery store. the urge for peeing suddenly kicked in while i was at a store but i managed to hold it in while i was there. it felt like walking made the whole thing worse because the motion moved my bladder (i guess), so by the time i got home i was almost peeing my pants.
has it ever happened to you that as soon as you enter your hose after a long day you feel like you need to take a shit? that's what happened with me except i felt a painful urge to pee. i layed down on my bed and by this point i was feeling like someone had kicked me on my crotch. i knew i had to go to the bathroom, on my way there i noticed i couldn't stand straight because doing so made my bladder hurt terribly. i sat on the toilet seat and one minute later i was pissing unvoluntary.

overall i gotta admit it was a pleasant experience during the first 45 minutes or so, but after that it was just painful and not in an enjoyable way.

490 Name: ( ゚ ヮ゚) : 1993-09-10603 20:34

I've listened to all of the VIPTRONICS COOL FREE RINGTONES at least a couple of times each.

491 Name: vc: exyuge : 1993-09-10737 08:26

I miss VGCats.

492 Name: nerv : 1993-09-10856 08:24

i love the smell of my sweaty asshole... if i don't shower for a few days i spend a lot of time just breathing in my dank crevice

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...
Verification: