[NOVEL] DQN Shirt Novel [FAIRLY NICE] (672)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7402 05:43

The shirt was

201 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7881 22:12

SANDOVAL SECTION.

202 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7984 23:45

Meanwhile, Tim Tweel sauntered into a bar, wearing a faded Mr. T. t-shirt and acting like he owned the place.

203 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7992 21:17

CHAPTER 7
Into the Fiery Crucible

Little Fiona moaned sadly, for her shirt wasn't

204 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7992 22:12

bedecked with the image of Mr. T, instead it was

205 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7993 01:32

an off-the-rack lime green number. She hated it so much that

206 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7993 01:38

she put it back on the rack.

207 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7993 01:50

The limes' feelings were very hurt.

208 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8004 09:40

The first of a millio

209 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 05:31

a mi
million

210 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 07:40

copies of M- M- M- M- Max Headroom on Betamax

211 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 19:43

flew off the shelves, as if propelled by a hefty gust of wind.

212 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 20:12

Randy McNally strikes again!

213 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 21:31

In the shadows, McGraw Hill andHoughton Mifflin were plotting to

214 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 00:31

take over the McGraw Hilton and turn it into a

215 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 00:47

Boberpalooza

216 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 02:10

Bob Hope Lollapalooza-type celebration.

217 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 02:11

fart

218 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 15:37

CHAPTER 8
Second Servings

It was the best of times, it was the

219 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 16:59

best of times as previously stated.

220 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8058 14:01

>>220 Oh no

221 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 18:24

cried Wolfe, as he realised the result of his calculation was much, much greater than 220.

Meanwhile, in sausage

222 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 18:36

sausage, a sausage was saucy.

"Never

223 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 18:56

eat this particular sausage," screamed Wolfe

224 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 19:23

as he pointed to the sauciest sausage of the bunch.

225 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 20:34

It was a fairly nice sausage.

226 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 22:07

"You want that fairly nice sausage all for yourself!" accused Chelsea. Wolfe was stumped, for

227 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 22:26

like 20 minutes

228 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 22:47

, before finally coming up with a counterargument:

229 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 22:59

No I don't.

230 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 23:30

I am a foxkin vegan.

231 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8060 19:31

He then shot Chelsea in the forehead, with his

232 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8060 20:18

PENIS

233 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8060 20:19

"Ew you almost got it in my eye. I wouldn't put up with this if you weren't

234 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8060 22:56

a foxkin vegan

235 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8061 01:18

wearing an off the rack lime green affair."

236 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8061 17:08

Archie thought the lime green was terrible.

237 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8061 19:30

He then shot Chelsea in the forehead, with his

238 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8061 23:43

Glock 17.

239 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 17:47

It was a fairly nice death.

240 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 17:54

Or it would be if Chelsea had actually died. Wolfe was visibly altered "What's going on, I just shot straight in the forehead!"
Chelsea smirked. Wolfe looked at his hand, he wasn't holding a Glock 17, it was a banana. Then Wolfe realized he wasn't wearing any pants.

241 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 17:59

It was just as well, as they hadn't been very nice pants.

242 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 18:11

Then Chelsea was a banana.

243 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 18:24

In fact, Chelsea had always been a banana.

244 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 19:10

And now, she was an old, darkened spotty banana that was only fit for making banana bread or attracting fruit flies.

245 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 20:09

Then she died.

246 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8063 20:20

"Lol 9mm"

247 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 12:04

"penis"

248 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 14:14

And then the universe, predictably,

249 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 14:47

remained ever present as far as petty lifeforms with minuscule lifespans were able to discern.
~
Chapter 9
The Unbearable Lightness of Bees

Wolfe heard buzzing around him.

250 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 17:29

Chapter 10

251 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 17:43

Chapter 3

252 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 17:59

Part II

253 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8064 18:09

It had been 5 minutes, and the bees were still there.

254 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8067 03:24

The bees did not have shirts on.

255 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8067 19:47

Her hand slides into his left trouser pocket and brings out a hard black shrivelled potato. She regards it and the bees with dumb moist lips. She puts the potato greedily into a pocket, then grabs the bees, cuddling them with supple warmth. The bees smile uneasily. Slowly, note by note, oriental music is played. The bees gaze in the tawny crystal of her eyes, ringed with kohol. The bees' smiles soften.

256 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8069 01:46

eNow,f whispered Wolfe. eAfter 50 years, the sausage is once again within my grasp.f He smiled mockingly at the dusty, discarded banana peel.

257 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8069 11:59

The banana peel formerly known as Chelsea felt very sad. She had been used by someone, by the evil powers of sausagearchy, once again. This time however she was too weary to punch up.

258 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8069 18:34

She had done so previously, but that ended with her being

259 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8069 21:08

crowned Queen of the Bees. She still had the t-shirt socked away somewhere, but she

260 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 02:27

couldn't fit in it anymore. Not since

261 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 09:02

she started binging on the fairly nice combination of doritos and deep fried mountain dew while

262 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 16:18

training fiercely for the International Couch Potatolympics. Meanwhile, the

263 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 16:23

Finistère had been under siege.

264 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 16:32

Without reinforcements, they

265 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 17:00

had no choice but to surrender all the bees.

266 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 17:12

Chapter 2: Two Bees in a Pod

267 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 17:31

There was a pond. The pond was named Pondy McPonderson. Pondy pondered.

268 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 18:42

"Why are there two bees in me?" pondered Pondy the pond.

269 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8070 22:54

Swimming in the pond, a bee pondered on his own existence. "Am I my own circumstance?", challenged Beeznatch the Bee. To which Bumblebee the Bumblebee, countered "What does it take to bee?". Little did they know, their philosophical ponderings wouldn't last long as Pondy McPonderson was soon to dry up. "What a hassle!", cursed Pondy

270 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8071 02:56

the pond. "I guess I'll have to be a pod now!"

And so Pondy the Pod became Pondy the Pod. She started a podcast.

271 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8071 18:40

A fairly nice podcast.

272 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8071 22:22

Fairly nice like one of those podcasts that'd be recommended to you by your podcast client, which mostly but not quite understands your tastes.

273 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8072 17:36

For instance, you wouldn't trust your podcast client to buy you a shirt.

274 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 00:13

Twinbee was a good Famicom game

275 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 01:48

, it even came with a free t-shirt.

276 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 04:13

"I am Zeghamet Benis" quothe

277 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 18:42

Zeghamet Benis, quoting herself.

Anyway, the shirt

278 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 19:01

was fairly nice.

279 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 20:39

The fairy was nicely shirt.

280 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8073 21:26

Zeghamet Benis was assembling electrical stuff with the purpose of transferring heat to 40 feet squared of gas.

281 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8074 10:55

"The future ghost of Randy McNally will be honoured tonight," she mumbled, to nobody in particular.

282 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8077 21:20

"You are Zeghamet Benis!"

283 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8077 22:06

Our shirt, is an awesome shirt, it is, a standard lime green affair.

284 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8077 23:00

But not a standard off-the-rack lime green affair, mind you. We have standards.

285 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8079 03:12

Fairly nice standards

286 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8079 03:15

Zeghamet Benis was too caught up in the preparations for the honoring of Randy McNally to notice the standard lime green affair before her. Her intense autism would not allow her to tear away her attention from whatever activity she was engaged in. This caused the standard lime green affair

287 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 01:16

to vanish from existance, never to be thought or spoken of again.

288 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 02:54

Or maybe not. I don't actually know.

289 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 03:47

It was

290 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 04:27

not.

291 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 04:58

It was.

292 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 05:08

On opposite day.

293 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 14:28

Celebrated on opposite month.

294 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 18:04

During opposite year.

295 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 18:17

CHAPTER THE NEXT

Nicely,

296 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 18:18

the dumb doggly

297 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 18:26

barked. So nice was the bark that a passerby who was also a princess of three different kingdoms took notice and

298 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 18:52

committed suicide by playing a recording of the barks in a small room at 300dB

299 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8080 23:45

Who else to clean up the mess but Funny Wieners? It was his job to clean up the bodies left after horrific deaths.

As he was cleaning up the remains of the princess, Funny Wieners thought to himself "Why did I

300 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8081 09:30

did I why? Why I did did I? Did I why wide eyed die why? Died wed dyed dead did dire aye?" Wieners Funny. Wieners wieners wieners. Dog doggly dogy dogry dog. Greed consumes us.

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