aah... I fell asleep too early.. orz
I think I knocked out sometime around 3. Sorry eveyone. But thank you for trying to stay up with me. I'm gonna try again tonight... this time with coffee. \(`ヘ´)/
Anyway, as I mentioned at the end of >>117, I have one more story.. this happend after I gave her the poster.
To thank me for making her the poster, she said she was gonna cook dinner for me again! Like last time, I was a disaster. This time even more so because I decided that I would tell her my feelings. I had a little note in my pocket of what I planned to say to her. Whenever I used the bathroom or had a moment to myself, I'd pull it out and review what I wrote.
She came over later in the evening. I noticed that I never forget that first glimpse I get of her. It's like everytime I see her, I'm amazed at how beautiful she is. At that moment all my senses become amplified, and I suddenly become overly conscious of everything.. like how I walk, how I talk, even how I breathe. In other words, I get really nervous. She came inside and began cooking. We decided that this time we'd watch a movie while we ate. Afterwards, we sat around my room and talked about different things. Mainly, an anime we were both interested in. That was probably one of the more casual conversations we had in a long time. (^_^;)
After that she said she was going home. As I walked her to her car, I could feel the note crinkling in my pocket. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as I tryed to say something..... but I couldn't. When she got to her car, she said bye, and all I could say back was bye. I went back inside and just fell on my bed. I was so dissapointed in myself. orz
So... that was the last time we met. I wrote to her afterwards, but rarely got a response. I finally sent another email a few weeks later, and she responded telling me that she was going back to Japan soon. I wrote back asking to see her before she left, but again didn't get a response. I stayed up all night the day before she was supposed to leave hoping to have one last chance to tell her how I felt. She actually did come online too.. but it was only for a few seconds.. I didn't have time to say anything. At that point I kind of just accepted failure. I thought it was all over. Then after a few months passed, I heard from a friend that she was back! It kind of seemed like a miracle... I was given another chance! So as bad as it all seems, I'm not gonna accept failure this time. I'll do whatever it takes.. and in the end, she'll at least know how I feel about her.
Sooo, that basically brings us to the present time. Well I'm gonna do a little work now. But I'll keep you all posted!