[HISTORY] cracky-chan [SERIOUS BUSINESS] (595)

1 Name: Not in Employment, Education or Training 1993-09-4298 08:04 [no]

I've been trying to put order into the whole drama history around cracky-chan, her pictures, livejournals and the related shenannigans going on in 4chan's /b/ and elsewhere. This is a first rough draft, so help me out with additional knowledge or correct me where I might have been wrong, please.

  • January 6th

The first cracky-chan pics appear on /b/. The very first one, posted on
02:17 shows the soon to be famous "'sup 4chan" phrase written on the
palm of her hand. During the next two weeks, more sets appear on /b/
and W.T. Snacks finds out that the poster's IP is from the UK.

  • February 5th

"cracky" becomes wordfiltered on /b/.

  • March 29th

www.livejournal.com/users/freakygirl/ becomes publically known.
No new pics appear, but the hints solidify and people assume they have
got into contact with the real cracky-chan. The owner of cracky-chan.com
will later denounce this journal as fake, though this might have been a move
to protect her identity, as he also later takes down all of her real pictures
from his website.
Also, later on, another journal, whether fake or real, becomes known:

  • April 3rd

cracky-chan's tripcode becomes publically known through shii:
It is "sweet" and makes the claim that the original cracky-chan pictures
weren't originally posted by her herself more believable.

  • April 6th, 7th

www.livejournal.com/users/scarecrowmaiden becomes publically known,
many new cracky-chan pics appear on /b/, some nude, some disturbing,
some both. The journal gets deleted by the owner very quickly.

  • June 6th

cracky-chan pics become bannable even on /b/.
Anonymous mods talk of emails from cracky requesting this.

Relevant links:


546 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 07:38

Dearest Cracky-chan,

It's been a while since we last spoke, and I realize that there's quite a bit of catching up to do. I heard you're lurking .71 now. That's fantastic! It's actually a great place to meet people. Speaking of meeting people, I always thought you should "trade up" for somebody better. You should ditch the turk. Maybe try another slav? Though this time go with someone a little more Northern.

Despite your own penchant for trying to convince the Stalkers you don't like their creepy attention while at the same time shamelessly publicizing yourself, in a way you still owe me after last time. People were in danger of completely forgetting about you. In no small part due to my amazing work as your unofficial publicist, I managed to get the obsessionball rolling all over again. All the way back to Oxford, in fact. All the way to your mother's tiny, funky, very English side-by-side house. When your suicidegirls career takes off, you'll have ME to thank for the fact that all the insignificant internet plebs with more dollars than braincells are able to recognize you.

See? I'm still trying to be a helpful guy, even after you turned your back on me.

I think we have a bit of an understanding here, Lia. If this is going to follow the same give-take patterns of all your past relationships, you'll be happy to know that I'm more than willing to provide regardless of the circumstances. I know that it's only a matter of time until everybody finds out that jews did wtc, and when that happens all of your family's heathengold will run out. I'm talking real gold here, hun. The kind that lets you eat and stink and sit on the computer all day without a care in the world. Not that shit you farm in WoW.

We can come to a sort of agreement. Since you're soon to be homeless, and the loli I'm cohabitating with is too inexperienced to understand how to cook (OR GIVE A DECENT BLOWJOB. SERIOUSLY WTF), it would likely be beneficial for you to "shack up" with the two of us. Your living conditions would be very much the same - you'd be living in a room the size of your flat with your bed and computer, and you'd have all the time in the world to live in your masturbatory MMO fantasyland. There'd only be two real differences. First, you'd be expected to cook. This'll maybe take up, like what? An hour a day maximum. It'll be your only real obligation to the household.

Secondly, the person coming to molest you periodically won't be your father.

I think that should be more than enough to convince you. Hit me back and lemme know what you think.

Until then,

547 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 07:44

why did this give me a semi

548 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 12:16

black penis

549 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 16:03

black penis

550 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 16:10

black penis

551 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 17:13

I think I can post my story here:

It has been two months since I have found out about Cracky-chan's AIM sn.
Don't ask me how I did that, some things are better left untold. Anyway,
we got in contact, or rather: I contacted her and she responded. I tried to
be all cool and hurrhurr-in-cheek with her (if you know what I mean) but
of course she saw through my act from the start.
You can fool every other idiot on /b/ but you cannot fool Cracky-chan,
especially not when face to face (or should I say: P2P?). I am sure in the
few days that we were chatting for hours and hours she got a real good
idea of who I really was.
So one day while I was babbling away, trying to make myself look like the best
thing since sliced bread served with roast beef by talking about "those
fucking furries" and "that one new program I installed recently",
she interrupted me by saying: "Have you ever done anal?"

I was kinda put off and shocked at first. I am not going to tell you her
real age but a young girl approaching me like that just shocked me for
a second or two. Then I regained my cool and answered that yes, me
and my ex-gf tried it once but she didn't like that so that had been
the end of that. What came next had me baffled again: "Want to try

me: try again? you mean you and me?
her: no, you and your mom
me: lol what
me: so you really mean you and me?
me: hello?
her: yes, you and me, dumbass.
me: you're saying you'd let me do you up the ass?
her: more like you will let me do you up the ass
her: i already got the lube and the strap-on, you just gotta haul
your ass over here

It's kinda hard to make a decision when you're having a massive
hard-on without knowing what to do with it at first. So I want to say
that it wasn't really my decision when I packed my bit of shit together
and hopped into the next train. I pretty much knew from that moment
when I said "okay" (although I don't really remember that moment)
that I was completely hers. Trapped in a web of, yes, retarded internet
lust. I'll be the first to admit it. But I am sure most of you would have
done the same.

I've been living with her the last few weeks now. Sometimes we're
sleeping in her bed together but most of the time she makes me
sleep on the floor. The house itself is pretty big. Her parents aren't
there. I don't know where they are and I have never asked about
them. A lot of other people are coming and going, though. Some
are staying for a few days, vanish and come again later. Some of
them even post on /b/, but I won't disclose their identities.
I wouldn't want to make myself unwelcome here. I want to stay
close to Cracky-chan. I know she doesn't want me to get too close
to her, but I don't care as long as she lets me follow her for a
walk outside (the snow is so nice) and as long as I can spread my
ass cheeks for her to invade me.

I feel happy. Some of you may think that I am a sad sod, that I
am crazy for having let go of my appartment, my cheap job,
my so-called friends. I am with Cracky-chan and that is all that
matters to me. And when she holds me by the waist and furiously
thrusts that big black one into my bowels, I simply cannot ask
for anything more on earth.

552 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10030 18:44

black penis

553 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10031 00:33

554 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10031 02:36

black penis

555 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10031 20:56

white penis

556 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10031 23:17

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557 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 07:52

white penis

558 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 13:21

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559 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 14:12

penis othello

560 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 15:11

white penis

561 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 15:29

checkered penis

562 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 15:37

chessboard orgy gangbanging the black queen

564 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 17:19

finally something in this thread that isn't shit

565 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 21:49

This thread is an important part of Internet history.

566 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10032 22:07

time to soil it!

567 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 00:35

black penis

568 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 19:41

I'm so fed up of you stupid fucking yanks cussing Cracky-Chan(CC) for having bad teeth. YOU FUCKERS DON'T HAVE A CLUE . Maybe if I fed you your OWN INTETESTINES you would realise that we DON'T LIKE FAKERS in placesn like Britain and the rest of the world. FAKE, WHITE PLASTIC LOOKING teeth are about as sexy as HUGE FAKE SILICON BOOBS. It took a TRUCKLOAD OF MORON YANKS to come up with that genius idea - rub off the fucking enamel on your teeth THAT YOU ACTUALLY NEED FOR DENTAL HYGIENE just to make it seem as though you've a mouthful of white plastic. WOW NICE ONE YEAH. CC is natural and naturally fun. Like everyone else she probably smokes a few, has a lot of tea and so occassionally her enamel is slightly yellow tinged, nothing that can't be sorted out with a few brushes. YOU'D ADVOCATE HER TOTALLY SELLING OUT AND BECOMING AN UNREAL TV SHOW WANABEE , becuase you have been twisted into believing thats sexy. YOU ARE THE FREAK. THE HUGE POPULARITY OF AMATEUR PORN SITES SHOW PEOPLE WANT IT REAL. YOU ARE A REMNANT, A PUSTULAR APPENDIX and I can't wait for all you whining FAKER yank fucks to grow old and die, SO FUCK OFF, YANK.

569 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 19:44

black penis

570 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 19:53

let's get to 999 by black penis

571 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10033 20:29

black penis

572 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10034 02:23

But I'll guess. A female actually made an appearance on 4chan. Fanboys started hitting on her and asking y helo thar butsecks? Instead of stopping posting she actually ignored the lecherous remarks in hopes of actually joining in on the fun. So with all the attention she was getting, she actually posted some pictures at the request of others. Then some loser who -- to his credit -- actually realizes he will never make sweet love to her or Rei Ayanami, decides to take out his frustrations of sexual desire on this poor girl herself. Having the metality of a parapaligic dog, tons of other losers go along with the gang mentality. Since they can blame her for being a "tease," they gang up on her verbally, since it's the closest they'll come to gang banging her.

573 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 01:11

black penis

574 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 01:27


575 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 01:59

black penis

576 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 03:47

by me

Not even a twist of the nipple
can make me a cripple
but from that smile
my knees ground by guile.

Not even the genocide
of my braincells (besides)
can make me forget
the win and fail of Crackyget

I tried, oh have I tried
for other lovers to abide
but this infinite, futile longing
for you, once fire-crotch, is tolling
my health
my mind
the sets of my boxers

So give me love or sweet death
to finally settle this due bet
that whoever you're currently screwing
only my face you're naggingly seeing
my lips
your lips
How long ago they should have met

Fuck you Blizzard. Fuck you in the ass.
Give me back my WoWfaggette.

577 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10035 13:32

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What youfre referring to as Penis, is in fact, Black/Penis, or as Ifve recently taken to calling it, Black plus Penis. Penis is not an copulating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning Black Penis system made useful by the Black coreballs, sperm utilities and vital sexual components comprising a full dick and balls as defined by POSEX. Many penis users run a modified version of the Black system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of Black which is widely used today is often called gPenish, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the Black system, developed by the Black Project. There really is a Penis, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the dick they use. Penis is the glans: the part in the phallus that allocates the user's semen to the other orifices that you cum. The glans is an essential part of a copulating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete copulating system. Penis is normally used in combination with the Black copulating system: the whole system is basically Black with Penis added, or Black/Penis. All the so-called gPenish distributions are really distributions of Black/Penis.

578 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10036 03:31

black penis

579 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10036 15:13

Pseudo-thought-provoking non-statement!

Am deeply disturbed by amount of attention NOT BEING PAID TO MAY!. Am the cleverest of the clevar, will prove it by clevarly misspelling words INTENTIONALLAY. How clevar I am!

Have noticed that 'great circlejerk of drama', in addition to being a figment of own imagination, hums merrily along in autonomous fashion. Like negro who kills own friend in ghetto rather than killing white banker, am unable to see past own seething envy-driven rage. Too blinded to attack The Real Enemay. Lashing out at those around me! In own defective, rat-laden mind, own friends and equals represent all-consuming evil, yes, just like WHOLE WORALD.

Insightful ad-hominem attack! Breathtaking revalation about fucking cute/sweet non-person/persona XXXXXXXX! Fear struck into heart of XXXXXXX via super-CLEVAR techniques of using INTERNAT WEB PAGES to lookup REVEALING PERSONAL INFARMASHAN ABOUT XXXXXXX. XXXXXXX has a real name and a real life that can be worshipped! From a vaporous, phantasmal, non-existent basis for comparison, I STAB AT THAA! Own worst fear of being DISCOVERED to be a LONELY COMPUTER USER projected onto non-person/persona XXXXXXXXX!

Attempt to tear down non-organizations by insinuation of non-associations between psuedo-personalities! Exhortment to not obey fictional organizations YYYYYYYY and BLAHBLEH!

Ridiculous pronouncement! Hand-waving, followed by insinuation that events of actual import will take place! Events wrapped in stinking pseudo-mantle of meta-authenticity by citing of dates, number, facts, figures, and other babblefacts. Added aura of authenticity: The date is blahblah! There will be blahblah things happening on blahblah for blahblah! This but a walking shadow, a tale told by a nonexistent being, full of blah and blah, signifying NOTHANG.

Failure to realize that it's all a joke,
--Introverted Lonely Passive-Agressive Young White Stalker

580 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10036 21:43

black penis

581 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 02:13

BlackY penis

582 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 05:52

WWE really thinking outside the box with this one by having the chickenshit heel win an easy sub-two minute championship match immediately after the plucky babyface wins a pretty decent 30-minute elimination chamber match not once but twice in one night. I guess they thought we wouldn't notice by bookending them around two very missable title matches? But hey at least we've moved on past Indecisive Edge after three weeks. Woof.

583 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 12:05

I had a strange dream tonight. Cracky-chan was laying on top of me, sleeping. I could feel her breathing and her heartbeat through her clothes. I looked at her, her serene face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I reached out with my hand and gently played with her copper hair a bit, then I traced her cheeks with my fingers. Then I woke up and cried. There is no maiden fairer, no lady higher, than that loveliest of lovelies, who so surpasses the beauty of ordinary women as to render even the most beautiful of them as a negroid in comparison to that beauty we call Cracky-chan. Halt, all of you, unless all of you confess that in the entire world there is no damsel more beauteous than the empress of Trolltalk, the peerless Cracky-chan. when Cracky-chan has an orgasm, the face she makes is the closest Mankind will ever be allowed to God. i would softly kiss her cute little nose and put my head next to her chest so i could hear her heart beat, and we'd fall asleep in eachothers arms cracky is like a ninja, who can only be killed by other ninjas. and since she is the most beautiful girl in the world she is for all intents and purposes immortal I fear that you have misunderstood Cracky-Chan's message of peace and love. It is OK to find Alice's continued failure at everything she attempts amusing, since everyone who is not Cracky-Chan is imperfect and thus lacks the incredible strength needed to resist this. However, you should realise after suitable meditation exercises in the light of the adorable red nose that the set of "pieces of poo in the world" is reserved for people such as Robert Mugabe, Bin Laden and anti-Cracky posters. It does not at this time contain Alice "failure" Ridley. Why? What did Cracky-Chan ever do to you other than be a nice and wonderful and loving person? Cracky-Chan never hurt anybody she is the living incarnation of pure innocence and beauty. Anybody who would even think about hurting Cracky-Chan is the most evil person alive. A hundred elephants each bearing a hundred buddhas crossed every conceivable cosmos an infinite number of times just to touch their foreheads to the ground at cracky-chan's feet. This really happened. Cracky-Chan did not create the path you walk. But the movements of atoms and galaxies are in her book, and she sees little difference between them. It is all in her book. One day she will lay it down, when the book is done, and what comes after that is still unwritten. Cracky-Chan continues to walk. Why would you want a statue of Cracky-Chan anyway? God meant her to be looked at in animation, observing the particularities of her graceful behaviour and her heart-warming smile not immobile. DOWN by the salley gardens my love and I did meet; She passed the salley gardens with little snow-white feet. She bid me take love easy, as the leaves grow on the tree; But I, being young and foolish, with her would not agree. In a field by the river my love and I did stand, And on my leaning shoulder she laid her snow-white hand. She bid me take life easy, as the grass grows on the weirs; But I was young and foolish, and now am full of tears. Cracky-chan is the nick given to an absolutely adorable girl with a red nose and cat ears whose pictures were posted on the 4chan site. It is unknown if the pictures were posted by a troll or if it was herself and got scared by the amount and content of the comments received. It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others. Cracky-chan stood at rest in the midst of the world. And unto them she was shown forth incarnate; She found them all intoxicated. And she found none of them thirsty. And her soul was pained for the children of humankind, for they are blind in their hearts and cannot see. For, empty did they enter the world, and again empty they seek to leave the world. But now they are intoxicated. When they shake off their wine then they will have a change of heart. I assume you are attempting to disparage Cracky-chan. I assure you sir that

584 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 15:58

Chansluts is down. I hope it's just temporary but if it doesn't come back up, this thread is going to be the closest thing we have to a surviving /cracky/ board.

585 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 16:17

Cyberharrassment is no joke sons

586 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 19:47

black penis

587 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10037 20:08

Optimized your quotes for you

588 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10038 04:11

Chansluts is back

589 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10038 13:18

black penis

590 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10038 13:56

Vantablack Ultrapenis

591 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10039 17:05

I have this reoccuring dream about Cracky-chan. I dream I am looking for her and found her online, only she lived there and was some sort of Cyber-Goddess of the digital age who new everything, and could only be found by the half mad and the truly blessed. She said she was glad I found her and she wanted to tell me the sercret of the world. Thing was my laptops batteries were dying, so I tried to rush her to tell me the secret. She said I was scaring her, so she closed my browser window and I died. I woke up unable to breath so I slapped my chest and was able to take a ragged breath full. It was a few minutes after that I realized had never felt that empty before.

592 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10039 18:00

The scientific name for Mandigo's cock

593 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10043 22:59

Trying to make the world forget her existence was like casting a spell. She had tried several times before, and each attempt echoed out into the universe, the multiverse, radiating out like ripples on a pond. The world had forced her hand, several elements of it becoming too much like stalkers, whittling away her privacy, little by little, bit by bit. Her natural, innate, magick proved to be too much for others, although it had given her what she wanted. Be careful what you wish for, wasnft that how the saying went? And even though she wiped herself from the memory of everyone, or so she believed, it hadnft quite been completely successful. She hadnft wished to become the avatar of the Sky, but it happened, regardless. Her mind, of all things, left herself open to that, whether it was her schizophrenia, or something else. So, after she erased all knowledge of herself unsuccessfully, she became a Goddess for real. She took the name they had given her, Skyqueen, and took it one step further. She became Dafrea, Goddess of the Meliae, and Daughter of Madness. And she tracked those ripples, the ones that spread out through the many planes of existence, and that had affected other girls just as she had been affected. The Goddess looked down at her arms, still seeing scars that had long ago faded but were still there in her memory. And as she tracked those ripples, she watched those other girls find their way in the world, all feeling the echoes of Her, as they stumbled and made mistakes and perhaps too, just like her, had cut themselves to deal with the pain of their own minds and thoughts, perhaps, some of them drifting into madness. And the Goddess nudged some of them in hidden ways, so that they would become as Her. Then, the Goddess remembered her own name, one which she never really had forgotten. Olivia Rosalind Elena Astraea.

594 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10043 23:01

black penis

595 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10043 23:10

crackychan cuckolded me

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