Dear Espeon:

Sorry about not posting your fan-fiction last week. It grew well beyond a sketch and would have upset a lot of people in this thread if I had posted it here. As I'm not sure it could ever be pared down sufficiently and still retain its filthy integrity, I'll just give you a summary:

You sparked a nuclear war through your role in the accidental erotic asphyxiation death of Kim Jong-un.

--Your biggest fan.