[NOVEL] DQN Shirt Novel [FAIRLY NICE] (672)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7402 05:43

The shirt was

123 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7500 22:49

poem.

124 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7500 23:10

Roses are red

125 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7501 00:49

ZOG is dead

126 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7501 01:08

And Michael Medved is eating his bread

127 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7501 06:36

don't trouble your head

128 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7501 16:44

As you lay down to bed,

129 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7501 19:56

And remember the words that Clonepa said:

130 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7501 22:01

Agga agga agga agga

131 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7502 05:01

Oggy oggy oggy oggy,
Oi oi oi!

132 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7502 11:38

Ting tang walla walla bing bang,

133 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7502 21:09

And with that recitation completed, Zorgfy Wrasslebugg Fumpyprantser lay down his shaggy head and

134 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7502 21:32

died.

135 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7502 21:46

It was a fairly nice death.

136 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7502 23:08

A funeral was prepared for him, which was a fairly nice funeral, as such things go.

137 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7503 01:19

Anata no kimochi

138 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7504 16:49

-- said no one important.

139 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7504 17:13

the old woman cried for Zorgfy

140 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7504 17:29

but then, she cried over just about anything.

141 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7506 01:10

"Ha ha ha ha what a crybaby!" said someone in the Teacher's Lounge.

142 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7506 02:39

Herodotus a shit!

143 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7506 16:58

said an ill-looking hobo who had managed to sneak in.

144 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7506 22:13

The hobo wore a fairly nice shirt.

145 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7507 00:13

It was stolen, of course.

146 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7507 14:19

Out of the blue, the coffin open. It had nothing in it but a single, well-pressed shirt.

147 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7511 16:46

Everyone gasped, as it wasn't just a fairly nice shirt. It was a particularly nice shirt.

148 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7511 21:57

How would you describe the shirt's color? Seafoam? Yeah, seafoam.

149 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7536 19:18

Before anyone could properly admire the seafoam shirt, the hobo lunged forward and

150 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7536 22:35

uttered some more derogatory phrases about Herodotus in broken English.

151 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7557 01:14

"hob"

152 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7557 02:24

"BUZZUTH", uttered the Captcha Fairy with some annoyance.

153 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7557 12:10

Everyone hated the Captcha Fairy.

154 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7557 19:40

Especially the Captcha Fairy's horrible taste in shirts.

155 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7558 01:01

The hobo continued to mutter about Herodotus while trying to eat the Captcha Fairy.

156 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7558 04:28

The poor hobo was about to find out that the now-irate Captcha Fairy was both bawthable and armed with

157 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7558 17:23

a pair of exquisite Italian steel-toed boots.

158 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7558 21:16

Unfortunately for the fairy, being armed with boots is not exactly the smartest idea. The hobo began to gnaw on the fairy's bare feet as the heavy boots left the fairy's arms immobile.

159 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7585 18:45

With no other choice, the fairy dropped the exquisite Italian steel-toed boots

160 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7593 12:14

onto his toes. The irony of this was not lost on the hobo, who, upon seeing the boots hit the toes, commented

161 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7593 15:22

that "it takes one to toe one"

162 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7606 17:07

At which point someone smacked the hobo for making such an unbearably horrible pun.

163 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7606 19:35

That someone was J. Arnold Shirt, the inventor of shirts.

164 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7607 11:35

Joanna Shirt's eyes filled with tears as she hit the hobo

165 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7607 13:25

because she lives with the constant pain of the knowledge that not all shirts are particularly nice.

166 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7607 15:37

The universe promptly exploded in a completely unique way to how it did so in DQN Short novel.

167 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7607 22:51

The recoiled from J. Arnold's hit making a sound akin to crepes being overcooked.

168 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7609 01:54

"Fortunately, the crepes aren't overcooked," said J. Arnold. "Because this is a nice story. Well, fairly nice."

169 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7611 15:54

Everybody got to eat crepes that day.

170 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7611 19:13

Well, almost everybody. Creeps did not eat crepes. Because this is a nice story.

171 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7617 11:04

Instead, creeps got butchered in games like League of Legends and Dota. Leading to the influential Creeps Rights Movement.

172 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7617 16:59


　　 卜,　　　　　.／|
　　 |.　｀一一''’ 　│
　　ﾉ　　.,　　　.,　　丨　　　／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣＼
　 /　 .(ο).　(ο)　　i　　＜　　　It was shit.　　　　　　│
　/　　　　,,∨..　　　　|. 　　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿／
./ 　,-＝彡亠弋＝-. │
|. 　　　　　:--; 　　　　│

173 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7630 17:50

But it was fairly nice shit, as shit goes.

174 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7630 23:06

Fairly nice shit.

175 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7691 11:31

"Is shit still shit if it is fairly nice?" asked

176 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7691 22:19

Hans Shitzengruber, the town's only

177 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7692 17:45

shirtless German.

178 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7692 21:29

At that point Sun Tzu began work on his masterwork "[Mediocre] Pretty average Shirt [Okay I Guess]"

179 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7839 12:43

Hans resurrected the Shirt Novel with his shirtless powers.
It was a fairly nice resurrection

180 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7839 18:06

but not the nicest I've seen.

181 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7839 19:23

The nicest resurrection happened when Randy McNally came back from

182 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7839 19:59

the scrotium dioxide mines.

183 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7840 18:52

He ran out of the mine entrance screaming excitedly and covered with nut salt, waving an ancient amulet around. He was wearing a fairly nice print shirt with a map of Sheboygan Wisconsin on it.

184 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7841 20:29

Randy had supposedly died 10 months prior, due to "fart problems".

185 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7841 22:50

However, records that far back are questionable at best, due to the universe's inherent instability at the time.

186 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7842 20:57

Legend has it that the Universe's instability was caused, in part, by Randy's fart problems.

187 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7843 00:00

"Does pumpernickel mean farting goblin?" wondered

188 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7874 00:06

Randy's shirt.

189 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7874 00:36

As Randy's shirt pondered the implications of such quandaries, it realized that it was a shirt, a fairly nice shirt, but a shirt nonetheless. Thus began Randy's Shirt's existential crisis. He sought answers, calling out,"

190 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7874 16:39

I need answers". He hadn't a way with words, but instead Randy's shirt presented quality craftmanship, with resistant fabric yet delicate to the touch, and sober finishes on its sleeves. As far as nice shirts go, Randy's was clearly among

191 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7874 16:43

the nicest of the nice.

Randy looked around, wondering who needed answers.

192 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7875 04:35

Meanwhile, the pumpernickel sandwich was

193 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7875 19:28

just sitting there, uneaten. It smelled slightly like goblin farts.

194 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7875 22:51

Jolly Bean

195 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7875 23:22

wished that he had a nice shirt, instead of the off-the-rack lime green number he currently wore. "If only

196 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7877 20:58

I had a nice shirt, instead of this off-the-rack lime green number", he uttered,

197 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7878 06:44

while wishing that he had a nice shirt, instead of the

198 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7878 07:17

off-the-rack lime green number he currently wore.

199 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7878 22:26

What a poor bastard, that Jolly. Anyway, Randy's shit

200 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7878 22:49

in a mitt couldn't commit to the

201 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7881 22:12

SANDOVAL SECTION.

202 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7984 23:45

Meanwhile, Tim Tweel sauntered into a bar, wearing a faded Mr. T. t-shirt and acting like he owned the place.

203 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7992 21:17

CHAPTER 7
Into the Fiery Crucible

Little Fiona moaned sadly, for her shirt wasn't

204 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7992 22:12

bedecked with the image of Mr. T, instead it was

205 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7993 01:32

an off-the-rack lime green number. She hated it so much that

206 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7993 01:38

she put it back on the rack.

207 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-7993 01:50

The limes' feelings were very hurt.

208 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8004 09:40

The first of a millio

209 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 05:31

a mi
million

210 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 07:40

copies of M- M- M- M- Max Headroom on Betamax

211 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 19:43

flew off the shelves, as if propelled by a hefty gust of wind.

212 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 20:12

Randy McNally strikes again!

213 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8014 21:31

In the shadows, McGraw Hill andHoughton Mifflin were plotting to

214 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 00:31

take over the McGraw Hilton and turn it into a

215 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 00:47

Boberpalooza

216 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 02:10

Bob Hope Lollapalooza-type celebration.

217 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 02:11

fart

218 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 15:37

CHAPTER 8
Second Servings

It was the best of times, it was the

219 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8015 16:59

best of times as previously stated.

220 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8058 14:01

>>220 Oh no

221 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 18:24

cried Wolfe, as he realised the result of his calculation was much, much greater than 220.

Meanwhile, in sausage

222 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-8059 18:36

sausage, a sausage was saucy.

"Never

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