INSTANT REVIEW : Closer
A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.
Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby
A great film written and directed Clint Eastwood, starring Clint Eastwood, about how great Clint Eastwood is.
Clorox bleach also plays a pivotal role.
INSTANT REVIEW: Emma
Two hours of silly female drama and romance and not one single sex scene with Gwyneth Paltrow.
A rip-off!
INSTANT REVIEW: The Princess Bride
The sort of film people will quote eighteen years after it hit the theatres. Required viewing for anyone wo wants to know too much about pop culture.
Oh, yeah, pretty forgettable as a film.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft
Black dude walks through a mediocre film and makes a lot of snappy remarks on racism issues.
Was that the original or the remake?
INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft, the original
The setup for the big climax got too distracting so let's just shoot everybody and call it day!
INSTANT REVIEW: Machssomim (Checkpoint)
A guy sets a camera to RECORD and does nothing else, tsahal and palestinians collide, and people who never knew shit all about the middle east conflict but still waffle about it nonstop should be obligated to shut the hell up and watch it. In the end, neither tsahal nor palestijns are demonized nor glorified, but in the end you might have gained some insight and even understanding.
INSTANT REVIEW: Utena, Adolescence Of
LIFE IS SYMBOLISM.
INSTANT REVIEW: Battle Royale 2
They take the concept from BR1, add some stupid rules and removes the deep plot!
INSTANT REVIEW: Independence Day
Mars Attacks was better and that one sucked, too.
tl;dr
the common goldfish carassius auratus has an attention span of a full nine seconds
INSTANT REVIEW: Waking Life
better title: Ruined By Rotoscope.
INSTANT REVIEW: Seize the Day
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091920/
Stupid American realism with many assholes and one whiner (Robin Williams). The only good part of this movie is Jerry Stiller.
INSTANT REVIEW: Svidd Neger
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0365810/
my kind of movie. super soundtrack. Presten - Besten!
INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby
I'll just say that the climatic boxing match was against an East German former prostitute who fought dirty.
INSTANT REVIEW: Gokudô kyôfu dai-gekijô - Gozu
"what happen?", end of review.
Instant Review: The Aviator
Go watch Citizen Kane.
INSTANT REVIEW: End of Evangelion
Sex.
Instant Review: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
George Lucas gives up on writing dialog and crafting plots. He filled up the screen with massive CGI and hoped no one would notice.
INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII:Advent Children
Shit explodes.
INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
candy rocks enough for the movie to rock via association, plus roald dahl roxx
INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell
what happen !!
instant review: cry_wolf
No one says "lol is this tom" in the entire movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed
somebody set up us the bomb !
INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed
Appleseed is that thing that has robots and stuff, right?
INSTANT REVIEW: Dare mo shiranai (nobody knows)
long
INSTANT REVIEW: Groove - Somewhat Realistic Rave Movie with Digweed Sounds
INSTANT REVIEW: U2 Rattle and Hum - Where The Streets Have No Name
INSTANT REVIEW: Shakespeare In Love
Joseph Fiennes knows his stuff and Gwynneth Paltrow is steamy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit
I LOL'd. (May contain nuts.)
INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
ZOMG Keanu Reeves can act!
INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell
did i miss something?
INSTANT REVIEW: All About Lily Chou-Chou
I couldn't process it all while I was watching. After the screen went black I thought it over and had a moment of enlightenment.
INSTANT REVIEW: Saw
Fucked up shit happens to imperfect people.
INSTANT REVIEW: Audition
HOLY SHIT!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman Begins
Gotham
INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
no he can't
INSTANT REVIEW: Aeon Flux
Is nothing fucking sacred?
INSTANT REVIEW: Good Night and Good Luck
Think the "Liberal/Leftist media" line is recent?
INSTANT REVIEW: The Aristocrats
It's VIP Quality!
INSTANT REVIEW: Kings of the Road
We're not gay
INSTANT REVIEW: Christmas In August
Absolutely heart wrenching
INSTANT REVIEW: Blade Runner
Cyberpunk 1980s lol.
INSTANT REVIEW:HEIDI
OMG!!!!!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Shopgirl
If I were Steve Martin, I'd probably write and star in a movie where I got to sleep with Claire Danes too.
INSTANT REVIEW: densha otoko
little bitch of a man bitches over a bitch until he gets the bitch
INSTANT REVIEW: Stealing Beauty
sex in toscana
INSTANT REVIEW: Gummo
An ugly kid walks around. The End.
INSTANT REVIEW: Butterfly Effect
Better than I expected
INSTANT REVIEW: Near Dark
I like short-haired pointer dogs.
INSTANT REVIEW: Iden & Tity
The following objectives were successfully completed:
-Rock & Roll all night
-Party every day
INSTANT REVIEW: Suicide Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari)
Gothic Lolita meets biker chick. In the words of Sam Jackson, you either want to see that, or you don't.
>>53
that's "kamikaze girls" you twit. and it is an excellent movie
>>54
Shit, you're right. That's what I get for having other open tabs... _|￣|○
INSTANT REVIEW: Last Life in the Universe
WTF is this "lady and the tiger" shit? Two hours of fine, fine, movie, ruined by the crappiest ending I've ever seen! Fuck that noise!
correction: "Lady or the Tiger", can't have it both ways
INSTANT REVIEW: Chunking Express
Damn, I wish it was 1994 and I lived in Chunking Mansions.
Christopher Doyle is a master in depicting Hongkong.
(btw Faye Wong is cute)
INSTANT REVIEW: Sin noticias de Dios (USA:Don't tempt me)
Asshole gets both Heaven and Hell trying to get him through the pearly gates. Penelope Cruz plays an agent of Hell, who flirts with the agent of Heaven, played by Victoria Abril. Very good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Egg [ http://www.slowlearner.co.jp/movies/egg/ ]
(comment: seen unsubtitled by someone who does not know japanese nor russian, and thus "fast fwding" in the parts where "nothing was happening")
Delightfully confusing and entertaining mix of creepiness, guy in rubber outfit (the "evil" creature), (visually beautiful) moodsetting scenes and interesting cutting technique.
INSTANT REVIEW: Underworld Evolution
Finally, Kate Beckinsale shows some skin...which she really should have done on the first one.
INSTANT REVIEW: Walk The Line
Johnny Cash was cool. This movie was emo. Buy his greatest hits CD instead.
英語が難しくてテストがダメでした。
英語を覚える方法を教えてください
こんばんは。
応援してます。
みんな、英語うまいね。。。
When the Japanese lid sitting language relies on is chosen to be
overseas software, Japanese is sad .... somehow ..it is... Korean
INSTANT REVIEW: The Tao of Steve
Eliminate your desire.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lorelei, Witch of the Pacific
Now they've done it! They've gone and pissed off the United States!
INSTANT REVIEW: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
This doesn't look anything like in the poster, and they wouldn't let me bring in my marijuana that I use for legitimate medical purposes!
INSTANT REVIEW: Mask
Boy's head is shaped like a potato.
Cher's head is also shaped like a potato.
INSTANT REVIEW: Oldboy
Dudes talk in Korean, dudes fight, main dude cuts himself a lot and barks like a dog. Glass breaks. Hugs!
INSTANT REVIEW: Amélie
Your girlfriend will let you get to second base if you watch this with her.
INSTANT REVIEW: Broken (1992)
You may became physically ill and develop a major schizophrenic episode. Passing kidney stones is a more pleasant experience.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fearless (1993)
This movie makes me want to crash a Volvo into a brick wall, it looks like so much fun. I hope you don't have to have Rosie Perez in the car for it work.
INSTANT REVIEW: Koi No Mon
Rocks. Manga. Love. Cosplay. Hideki Anno cameo.
INSTANT REVIEW: Electric Dragon 80000V
Most AWESOME movie ever. Seriously, it's more outright entertaining than anything I've watched for a long while.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost Rider
I hope Mark Steven Johnson dies of AIDS.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Man in White
Yakuza, fuck yeah!
INSTANT REVIEW: Musuka
just like trash
INSTANT REVIEW: Saw series/The Hills Have Eyes series
Because real snuff films are illegal.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Sassy Girl
Why can't america do romance films like this?
INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Car make helicopter go boom to save America! l33t!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness of the Katakuris
Takashi Miike's best film, and unlike most of his work, it's a friggin musical!
INSTANT REVIEW: 2001: A Space Odyssey
Floating spaceships and classical music
INSTANT REVIEW: Las Vegas Story (1952)
Thanks to The Aviator, I knew to expect retro boobs when I saw Howard Hughes' name in the credits. I was not disappointed. Also, Hoagy Carmicheal.
HEBI CHAN image video
INSTANT REVIEW: Fight Club
Fav movie of all time
Instant REVIEW: The Simpsons the Movie
4 episodes in 1 80 minute film
INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Manliest movie of the year.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
There were scarred gimp lesbians in this movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
The dialogue was designed solely to be shouted constantly by annoying teenagers for months to come.
INSTANT REVIEW: Logan's Run
In the 70's, they thought everyone would live in a totalitarian mall. They sure nailed the 80's.
Also 100 GET
INSTANT REVIEW: Any Adam Sandler movie ever
Adam Sandler does funny shit and has a retarded voice.
He falls out with his love interest halfway through the
movie only to win her back in the end.
INSTANT REVIEW: Kite (animu)
sex and attractive hitmen/woman.
INSTANT REVIEW: Wild Zero
/b/ in movie form like visitor q
I wouldn't use the word "funny" to describe Adam Sandler. Maybe "stupid" or even "dumbass", but not funny.
INSTANT REVIEW: Harvey (1950)
Lol Donnie Darko ripoff
>>105
protip: 1950 comes before whenever donnie darko was released
Forbidden Planet
Always read the owners manual before opperating strange alien devices with limited power.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty in Pink
Is that the guy from Two and a Half Men?
INSTANT REVIEW: Stranger Than Fiction
Wait, what the fuck's going on? Is the story even going anywhere?
LOOK OUT, A LOT OF REVIEWS.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rush Hour 3
Rush Hour 1 and 2, set in France.
INSTANT REVIEW: Napoleon Dynamite
My friends are assholes. This movie isn't funny, it's shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
Keep the sound on mute, play heavy metal music instead, and fast forward through any parts that feature talking. It makes the movie so much better.
INSTANT REVIEW: FLCL
Sex jokes and deep hidden meanings coated with action, more sex jokes, and crazy shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
See "INSTANT REVIEW: 300".
INSTANT REVIEW: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
If anything, you'll learn what the anthropic principle is by the end of the series.
INSTANT REVIEW: King Kong
Bestiality.
It was right the first time.
ROCKY 1:
Kinda sorta alright and then awesome when they get to the BOXAN.
ROCKY 2:
Same deal as Rocky 1 except the fight was epic as fuck.
I should watch ROCKY 3 sometime. It's been on my computer for months now.
INSTANT REVIEW: Inland Empire
Random shit thrown together.
INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard With A Vengeance
Jeremy Irons camps it up as a vaguely German villain who is somehow not a Nazi. Samuel Jackson threatens to shove a lightning bolt up the ass of Bruce Willis, who for his part is Having A Very Bad Day and Gettin' Too Old For This Shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rendition
lol suicide bombs and torture wtf
INSTANT REVIEW: Any Tyler Perry Movie
A woman gets beat. Madea comes to the rescue.
INSTANT REVIEW: Team America: World Police
South Park with puppets. Theme song kicks ass.
Instant Review: Boondock Saints
Alcoholic micks rip off every 90's action cliche in the book and make anyone with an IQ below 100 think they've seen the greatest movie ever.
INSTANT REVIEW: Leon
loli + assassin + Gary Oldman = INSTANT WIN
INSTANT REVIEW: The Paycheck
Ben Affleck really is a good looking man. Never really appreciated that until now. Alas, J-Lo kinda made him lame.
INSTANT REVIEW: Marie Antoinette
The Pre-Reincarnated Paris Hilton tells france to eat cake and spends half the movie waiting for the prince to fuck her. Trippy colours and music, non-existant story-line
INSTANT REVIEW: Beowulf
I am the Terror that Flaps in the night.
I am the winged Scourge that pecks at your nigthmares.
I Am Darkwing Duck!
INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard
Bruce Willis is an average cop who can kill terrorists with ease, yet keeps stepping on glass.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE BIG COMBO
Oh man, Mr. Brown is an awesome asshole.
INSTANT REVIEW: Alpha Dog
15 year-old virgin has a 3-way in a pool with 2 hot chicks, ensuring that he dies happy later that night.
INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness (1998)
Of all the movies I've seen involving pederasty (two), this one is the funniest.
INSTANT REVIEW: Juno
Take Napoleon Dynamite. Instead of a Idahoan loser, take a selfconscious and laid-back Minnesota girl. Instead of a dance contest, take a pregnancy. Instead of lighthearted fluff, take some serious shit she needs to deal with.
That's the movie the director saw in this screenplay. And it wasn't bad. But with a different directory this amazing screenplay could have flowered to life.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hackers
Matthew Lillard was robbed at the Oscars that year.
INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia
Why did'nt you invite her, you HEARTLESS FUCKER. She loved you, you know that don't you?
INSTANT REVIEW: Death Proof
Gah, feet. Feet. FEEEEEEET.
INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia
read the book, then fap to annasphia robb separately for best of both worlds
INSTANT REVIEW: RAMBO
PURE, CONCENTRATED MANLINESS with 2.56 KILLS/MINUTE.
INSTANT REVIEW: CLOVERFIELD
IT'S A CRAB.
Instant review: THE HOST
What a monster movie it is!
Does anyone know where I can find the soundtrack to the movie? I can only find the soundtrack to the show online and it's really frustrating!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Angst essen Seele auf
Ali's German is very gute!! One of those rare movies which shows all the awful and wonderful parts of love and hides nothing. It won't make you jealous to be single! Also the camera work is superb.
INSTANT REVIEW: Heavy Metal
Hearing John Candy's voice while I watch rotoscoped tits makes me feel all funny inside.
any review for "Jumper"?
INSTANT REVIEW: Jumper
"Man, that Nightcrawler movie was awesome"
>>147 good idea, bad execution.
"hey i seemingly died 8 years ago, wanna go to rome?"
i agree with couch potato. the "jumper" concept was really good however the movie was boring.
INSTANT REVIEW: Phone Booth (2002)
"Who is calling me? How do you know who I am? Did you just fucking shoot that lady? Oh lawd, bean bag guns! Hey, you're right in front of me but I can't do jack shit!" - End movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Loose Change
Jews Did WTC
Been seeing a lot of movies lately...
Invasion of the Body Snatchers: Good, despite the extreme fiftiesness. The Doctor's girlfriend kind of pissed me off.
Amelie: I could really relate to Amelie's life. Her shyness, her wonder at the world... I just wish I knew where to find a boy in a photobooth.
Hinokio: Awww, cute robot love. <3
INSTANT REVIEW: Suspect Zero
"I'm not really Gandhi, OK?"
INSTANT REVIEW: Battles Without Honor And Humanity
Blarg im ded
INSTANT REVIEW: Sleeping Beauty
Not the "girly" princess movie everybody assumes it to be
INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men
These kids these days with their drug running and their gruesome psychopathic assassins. I wish my dad was here, he'd know what to do.
INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men
Not as good as Fargo.
Gee, that really narrows it down, as nearly every movie ever made is not as good as Fargo.
INSTANT REVIEW: doomsday
resident evil + madmax + king author
was only entertaining in laughing at how bad it was. and actually that was pretty entertaining
INSTANT REVIEW: Meet the Spartans
Epic Movie has more class
INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS LiveAction
Acting is bad, robots all look alike, hope they never make a second NO WAIT GAAAAAAH
INSTANT REVIEW: Dark City
I like the Matrix better overall, but I prefer this movie's production design, since we never spend a single minute in a "real world" setting that looks like a sewage treatment plant.
INSTANT REVIEW: Total Recall
When I was ten years old this was The Best Movie Ever Made. It still kicks all kind of ass but my tastes have matured. Now, whenever I get the opportunity, I claim the book was better although I've never actually read it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Juno
Teenage pregnancy is a-okay if you have a bunch of 'thrift store' clothes and an impenetrable command of the latest slang!
INSTANT REVIEW: Speed Racer
Kickass car-fu, and a monkey throwing shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.
INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.
INSTANT REVIEW : Anatomy
great if you like foreign films about people getting turned into wax statues for a secret research society
INSTANT REVIEW: Queen Me
nice if you like to see an over weight girl crying every 10 minutes
INSTANT REVIEW: 13 tzameti
The Real Fight Club
Look it up
I LOVE INSTANT REVIEWS
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
INSTANT REVIEW: The Zeitgeist
Movie makes claims, some are better made than others, people argue on the internet.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
Wat
INSTANT REVIEW: Paprika
Best detective film ever for those who don't like detective films
INSTANT REVIEW: bicycle thieves
A kid finds a job that requires a bike, looks for a bike, gets a bike, bike gets stolen. Deep post-war social commentary.
INSTANT REVIEW: La Terra Trema
Movie about the lives of fishermen, who are played by real fishermen.
INSTANT REVIEW: Germany Year Zero
Kid does A LOT OF WALKING and finds random shit in junkyards to sell
INSTANT REVIEW: The Wildbunch
Cowboys kill lots of people. They then get killed by lots of people.
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman: The Dark Knight
WTF GO SEE IT
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Its only now that I'm sad about Heath Ledger's death
INSTANT REVIEW: Hot fuzz
so funny,good temp story
INSTANT REVIEW: Clerks
Life is always shit, but it's funny when the shit is happening to other people. Also, people talk a lot.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
I don't even remember the comics being this good. In fact, I remember barely any comics that were this good.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
Drill bra!
INSTANT REVIEW: I like it hot
Lesbian teenagers are indeed hot!!
INSTANT REVIEW: clerks 2
contains bonus instant review of LOTR
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Best. movie. ever.
INSTANT REVIEW: God Speed You! Black Emperor
I totally want to buy a Kawasaki motorcycle and put a gigantic back seat on it.
instant review: natural born killers
woody harrelson plays his father
INSTANT REVIEW: Apocalypse Now - Redux
Cool color correction
INSTANT REVIEW: The Naked City
Like a really long episode of Law & Order. Decent footage of New York in the 40's though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Clockwork Orange
I didn't see any oranges.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW:[/b] Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
spoiler: use asterisks for italic and double asterisks for bold.
**INSTANT REVIEW***: Rabid
Scorpion Tail Zombie Armpit.
test
Instant Review: Pineapple Express
Where are the pineapples? the trains? why are there druggies fighting like wannabe asians?
INSTANT REVIEW: Rebel Without A Cause
Kid becomes a delinquent because his dad wears an apron. I could've sworn there were motorcycles in this one.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Neighbor Toroto
A few kids make some AWESOME friends and make me wish my childhood freinds weren't such jerks.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hellboy 2
Two cool bladed fighting scenes, film overall okay.
INSTANT REVIEW : The Big Lebowski
Anything bad you say is just, like, your opinion, man.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shooter
Involves a lot of shooting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot'em up
Involves a lot of shooting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
''Did you eat all this acid?''
INSTANT REVIEW : Bangkok Dangerous (the FIRST ONE, not the crappy remake!)
It has been done before, but still worth checking out.
>>215 I did.
INSTANT REVIEW: Beautiful [korean movie]
Woman gets raped and loses viriginity. Goes crazy and kills any guy that looks like tha rapist, which is everyone because every guy in korea looks the same.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat-girl Kiki
Neko-mimi mode!
INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty Maid Cafe
Bad Densha Otoko ripoff with hardly any maids at all. It does have topless drumming though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Chop Shop
A little Hustler kid founds out her Sister is a Whore. The end.
I'd say ~~ Watch MAOU!!
It was really the only drama I liked last season.
And if you really want a silly silly drama that has no complete meaning watch 33Pun Tantei (33 Min Dectective)
sorry wrong place ↑↑
INSTANT REVIEW: Hell Ride
Quentin Tarantino presents "We Blew It, Man" produced by Quentin Tarantino (p.s. holy trinity lol)
INSTANT REVIEW: V For Vendetta
A cool ass guy says a bunch of big words, and blows shit up.
INSTA REVEW: Burn After Reading
Movie makes no sense and takes awhile to build up steam but the ending made it worth it.
ISNTANT REVIEW: Fargo
Oh god wish I didn't go off to masturbate half-way through.
ISNTANT REVIEW: Swept Away
Rape is hot
INSTANT REVIEW: Memento
Oh god how did this get here I am not good with memory
INSTANT REVIEW: Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto
Man, this film is much better without Madonna. But I still can't masturbate to it at all.
INSTANT REVIEW: Kidulthood
"Hey blood". "Sup Blood". "Safe". puts on hood every fucking time..puts on hood for the second time..yes you are fucking cool,jeezes fucking christ..england and hoods wtf? DO they all speak kingston, they really exagerate. Bad actin
INSTANT REVIEW: Adulthood (sequel)
Walks on street, puts on hood*. Runs of street , puts on hood* He is looking gangsta..puts on hood* (see kidulthood for more hood gangsta time). What'w with all the mean faces..seriously, they all pout and it's so fucking ridiculous. Half of em can't act and the ending showdown i couldn't stop laughing..especially the baseball bat and gun scene (bwahaha!)
Meh, AVOID BOTH.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Mighty Princess
Piece of shit love comedy movie mixed with some FAIIIIL kungfu hustle.
INSTANT REVIEW: Stargate
Stereotypical military types and a nerd go through a hole in space and fight Egyptian Space Nazis.
INSTANT REVIEW: One flew over the cuckoo's nest
"I'm bad. REEEL bad."
"We're all crazy!"
"I WANT MY CIGARETES!!![tears]"
Good acting, creepy as the book.
INSTANT REVIEW: Modern Times
Hi I am Charlie Chaplin! Watch me be lovable.
Awwww.
captcha: loubable
INSTANT REVIEW: 7 Samurai
190 Minutes of pure fucking awesome, sadly interrupted by my friend's brother and his fucking annoying friends who constantly kept saying shit like ''What the fuck is this crap?'' and ''Turn this boring shit off we want to play GTA4''.
Hungry Bitches
One girl shits into a cup. She and another girl eat the shit, then make out. Apparently the first girl had corn for lunch.
10/10
INSTANT REVIEW: Miss Castaway and the Island Girls
Michael Jackson, the bible, and flagrant stupidity combine forces to give you a nail-gun-lobotomy-like experience.
INSTANT REVIEW: Waterworld
Finally, a refreshing break from the unimaginative desert of postapocalyptica. Kevin Costner as a gratingly REAL MANLY MAN.
INSTANT REVIEW: Traitor
Started well, but bam. Cliché Undercover,followed by stupid one side terrorists are evil shit.Meh
INSTANT REVIEW: Milk
bald eagle sheds a single tear
The 60's never ended...
puts on sunglasses
...they just got a lot sexier.
The Who: YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: L.I.E.
Yesssss! I've been waiting so long for my erotic pedophile literature to be made into a film.
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Oooooh so the seven pounds means Will Smioth gives away seven pounds of body parts when he commits suicide. OOOH I GET IT! Great movie!
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Will Smith playing poison Jelly fish obsessed retard or troll who in the end via his death poisons/kills one to seven of his stalked victims by the heart-attack destroyed heart, and poisoned bodyparts of his, that he's organ donating to them.
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
DURRRRR! I DONT LIKE ANYTHIN THAT DOESNT HAVE BATMANS INIT!
INSTANT REVIEW: Kisaragi
Reservoir Dogs meets wota-gei.
INSTANT REVIEW: Seven Samurai
Probably one of the most realistic movies i ever seen, beautiful!
INSTANT REVIEW: Babylon AD Unrated (uncut?)
The movie still sucks if it's uncut, and the ending is one of the worst ever
INSTANT REVIEW: Twilight
Features vampires who instead of burning when coming in contact with the sun, sparkle like faggots covered in glitter.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zack and Miri Make A Porno
DUTCH RUDDER
INSTANT REVIEW: Blindness
Japanese guy drives car and goes blind then everyone goes blind. Blind people are sent to a quarantine facility and soon rage war on eachother.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rocknrolla
Anybody want to buy a painting?
INSTANT REVIEW: Cleaner
Samuel L. "MOTHERFUCKING" Jackson cleans crime scenes. The blood looks somewhat tasty.
INSTANT REVIEW: Let the Right One In
A nice Vampire flick from some foreign country, and features a twelve year old girl's muff. Is this movie even legal? Regardless, it's a good movie.
Instant Review: Sakuran
Bright colors, pretty girls, nice soundtrack. I don't know how Anna Tsuchiya makes talking like a hick so sexy.
Instant Review: Defiance
James Bond goes back to the 40s, converts to Judaism and kills a lot of Nazis.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mother, Jugs, And Speed
Bill Cosby drives a hot-rod ambulance. Larry Hagman is a crazy pervert. Raquel Welch is Raquel Welch. Harvey Keitel proves he wasn't always old.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mandingo (1975)
The savage ugly guts of life under slavery. This movie probably couldn't be made today.
INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie Bartlett
Kid in High School becomes kind of a psychiatrist/drug dealer. He goes out with the principal's (played by Robert Downey Jr.) daughter. Stuff happens.
Nice movie. Not too much drama, not too much comedy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Just You And Me, Kid (1979)
Kind of like Gran Torino. Except instead of an old racist, it's an old Vaudeville comedian. And instead of an Asian kid, it's loli Brooke Shields.
INSTANT REVIEW: Eraserhead (1977)
Unhappy guy with a rubber brain. The moral of the story: Babies are filled with oil and cottage cheese.
10/10
INSTANT REVIEW: On Any Sunday (1971)
VVVRRRROOOOM. VROOM VROOM. VROOOOOOM. Very '70s.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dead like me: like after death
Horrible sequel of the brilliant two season cancelled cult series "dead like me". Probably no chance we get a third season after this shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Jesus Camp
It's astounding to me how well-directed this documentary is. Compare it to ideology-pandering crap like "The End of the World Cult". I'm sort of upset how the careful, unbiased attitude of the directors is so blindly overlooked.
>unbiased
>directors
lol...
INSTANT REVIEW: Jonestown: The Life And Death Of The People's Temple
I could go for some Kool-Aid.
INSTANT REVIEW: Role Model
A really cute movie. Half assholes, half LARPing, all fun.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hounddog
Feel-good family film of the year.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Godfather
I did not care for it.
INSTANT REVIEW: π/PI (1998, Darren Aronofsky)
A guy spends too much times with numbers and goes crazy. Some trippy sequences. Awesome photography.
Would watch again again.
INSTANT REVIEW: Knowing
Nicolas Cage knows when shit happens, and can't do anything to prevent said shit so we can watch the mess on screen.
Plot is like a subpar Shyalaman.
***INSTANT REVIEW:*** Let the Right One In
Swedish loli vampires. This is ALL you need to know. Just trust me on this one.
INSTANT REVIEW: A Snake of June
Blue filters are erotic.
Instant review: YES MAN
Mildly funny. I like the concept, know a few people like that that shut themselves out of life that need to start saying yes and let life happen. Recommended
Instant Review: Ong Bak 2
Films with cliffhanger endings usually annoy me but this just was't good enough for me to care. I wish they would make another movie about the autistic girl instead of Ong Bak 3.
Instant Review: Dragonball Evolution
Really, it wasn't that bad. Especially when you take the time to consider just how awful it could have been. I'll buy it. Goku's character did a great job.
you know what is real ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M1mwu64rvg
INSTANT REVIEW: Lady Battle Cop
Robocop wishes he had an earring.
INSTANT REVIEW: A world without thieves
I wanna be THE THIEF!!
INSTANT REVIEW (again): Memories of Matsuko
Tragicomedy at its best!! Probably one of the best japanse movies i have ever seen, really a gem. 10/10 sniff*
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Not funny, not interesting, not recommended.
>>283
I would have said "nothing like the book", but actually it would have meant exactly what you said.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fanboys
A simple, hilarious movie that any Star Wars fan can relate to. It features tons of cameos and Star Wars inside jokes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar" sums up the movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek (2009)
Four words: Live long and prosper.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dragonball Evolution
Let-down. Storyline was too rushed, no time figure out where they were, let alone develop any empathy for characters. It was just a flurry of characters with the occasional delivery of cleavage.
INSTANT REVIEW: Antique (Korean movie)
A guy opens a cake shop and hires a gay guy to work there. Everyone eats cake.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation
It was good, until I realised it did absolutely nothing to further the Terminator Storyline.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zeitgeist
Absolute crap
>>290
Actually I would have said "WTF" but still
CAPTCHA: renass
INSTANT REVIEW: Up
good kids movie
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Trouble in Little China
99 minutes of pure, uncut, china white, straight-to-the-vein AWESOME.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
A girl with a fucking machine gun on her arm kills the shit out of everyone.
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Top Pee-Wee
Goddammit he's not supposed to have a sex drive what the fuck
INSTANT REVIEW: Religulous
Guy being interviewed: "I believe in God"
Bill Maher: "AH HA HA LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!"
INSTANT REVIEW: The Good, The Bad, The Weird
Like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly except with Koreans in 1930s Manchuria and not actually much like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. If I had to choose one part of the title to review it I'd go with The Weird.
INSTANT REVIEW: Moon
Kicks ass. See it if it comes to your neighborhood.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Cove
Higurashi IRL
INSTANT REVIEW: Lesbian Vampire Killers
Contains Lesbian Vampires. And people who kill them. And lots of british absurd humor. Funny movie. Also, NOT porn, sorry. Good surprise overall.
>>300 did not review 300 the movie. I am kinda disappointed, Couch Potato.
INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome
James Woods with the worst haircut in cinematic history goes batshit insane.
INSTANT REVIEW: District 9
Indie Scifi movie that turns into a poorly written action flick halfway through. Also, Pig Gibs.
INSTANT REVIEW: Adventureland
Emo Boy meets Emo Girl who bangs Married Rockstar secretely who cockblocks Ignorant Emo Boy followed by more cheesy drama and a farfatched happy ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: HANNAH MONTANA the Movie
Do I even need to say it?
INSTANT REVIEW: 2012: The Odyssey
The exemplar of New Age movies. Pure naivete and cheesiness. (Skip it)
INSTANT REVIEW : Timecrimes
Pretty good despite the obvious paradoxes.
casablanca
Studly Bogart helps his Ex escape nazi controlled africa after a SHITLOAD of flashbacks
INSTANT REVIEW: Murder By Death
Frequently stupid. Sparsely humorous. Entirely nonsensical.
...
Brilliant!
INSTANT REVIEW: The Legend of Zorro
They should have called it Everybody Loves Zorro.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW[/b]: At Land (1944)
Nice unless you try to analyse it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Good (2008)
Depressing as fuck. Bad acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Postmen in the Mountains (那山那人那狗, 1999)
What I expected: The exotic mystery of the Orient.
What I got: A heartwarming tale of a postman's life
INSTANT REVIEW: IZO
Japanese director on acid tries to wrap philosophy in a splatter movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: M
If you don't love this movie you might not even be human.
The 1931 German one, the 1951 American one, or the 2007 Korean drama?
INSTANT REVIEW: Oh, God!
Quaint folksy tale wherein George Burns reads lines off a cue card.
Addendum: When I said James Woods had the worst haircut in cinematic history, it was only because I was unaware John Denver had ever starred in a movie. I now stand corrected.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek
Somehow this didn't trip my nerd rage-o-meter. It may be watered down, but it's not a bad movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Inglorious Basterds
Jews are so great, Hitler sux XD.
INSTANT REVIEW: Funny People
One of Adam Sandler's better movies. But not as funny as the name implies.
INSTANT REVIEW: Once Upon a Time in the West
I hate westerns, actually I never watched one, find them too boring. But this movie is amazing, completely changes my opinion of westerns.
INSTANT REVIEW: Coraline
Gorgeous visuals, cute characters, but the plot feels like a tech demo, or a video game really. If you liked Avatar you may like this. Main character is quite fappable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Traxx (1988)
You know what I think of your cookies?
<10 second fart>
That's what I think of your cookies!
INSTANT REVIEW: Avatar
I am getting in the habit of writing instant reviews in this thread for movies that everyone has already seen.
INSTANT REVIEW: Where The Wild Things Are (2010)
What the fuck, this is a kid's movie, why are you beating the shit out of each other?
INSTANT REVIEW: Farewell Space Battleship Yamato
GLORIOUS NIPPON BANZAI!!!!1
Lord of War
Arms trade and corruption.
INSTANT REVIEW: Summer Wars
zomg such an awesome movie. Too much Internet though
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hurt Locker
angry man, reckless man and black man combine forces to disarm shit. thats fucking IT
INSTANT REVIEW: Iron Man 2
Man goes through process metaphorical to mid-life crisis, finds new hobby.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hard Candy
Tender teenage girl goes psycho on ambivalent pedophile. GOES HARD!! YAAAY.
INSTANT REVIEW: INCEPTION
Groups goes into a dream of a dream of a dream to plant idea. MIND BLASTING!
INSTANT REVIEW: TOY STORY 3
Evil fucking stuffed bear rules daycare center with an iron fist. Has an SS crew of nazi henchmen. Sid is the trash truck driver at the end. If you cry when Andy gives the toys to Molly, you're gay!
Also, Woody talks to Sid but not Andy in the third movie? What the fuck gives man!
Should have been Rated PG.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
Two chicks and a guy. Eating shit is involved. The guys from Lexx are in it. They are making a second one with twelve people...I hope its the cast of Serenity and they all die.
INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS 2
Micheal Bay put nigger robots in the movie. Shit gets blown up. Wait for ABC Family to show it.
>> 339
Oh wait...Andy gave the toys to BONNIE...Molly is Andy's little bitch sister. Thankfully, he didn't give her jack shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: CUBE
People stuck inside a Rubik's cube. Turns out it is harder to solve from the inside. Did you know there are traps and shit in there?
INSTANT REVIEW: BOXING HELENA
Psycho doctor cuts off chick's arms and legs he's in love with. Turns out she wanted to fuck him after all.
INSTANT REVIEW: 2012
Big budget tin foil hat film. Three hours of my life I'll never get the fuck back!!!
YES...I said THREE HOURS.
INSTANT REVIEW: AVATAR
Anti-war movie. Republicans are bad. Aliens and Christianity. Oh, and save the planet, fuck the whales, all that shit. Special effects look like a 1st year Flash programmer student's work.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pi
Mathematician discovers the secret of the Universe, and goes mad. Accompanied by lots of electronic music.
INSTANT REVIEW: PULSE
The world becomes a radio-wave graveyard. My head was pulsing after watching pulse.
INSTANT REVIEW: AVATAR
An alien movie in 3D!!! OMG!! James Cameron wipes his shit onto film and shows the reels to the idiot masses.
INSTANT REVIEW: ALICE IN WONDERLAND (LATEST REMAKE)
A long and boring Tim Burton movie with..gasp...Johnny Depp yet again.
INSTANT REVIEW: TOMB RAIDER
A very bad action movie with a hot chick with nice tits, nasty tats and a fake accent. Based on some shitty video game that is so bad people won't bother torrenting the damn thing.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES
Sylvester Stallone making a movie showing how he is not old. Lots of explosions. Lots of big name action actors. No nudity and no sex. I want to be Jason Statham when I grow up!
INSTANT REVIEW: Inception
A lot of people dreaming about dreams until the main character wakes up at the end, revealing the whole movie was a dream.
INSTANT REVIEW: GRAN TORINO
No one gave two fucks about the Hmong people on 4-ch or 4chan until this shitty Clint Eastwood movie came out about a fucking car he never drove yet he kept washing it while he kept fixing shit around his and the next door neighbors house. Puts a positive spin on racism.
INSTANT REVIEW: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
A 90 minute music video with several pop rock songs and dead zombie fuckers trying to eat people's brains.
INSTANT REVIEW: I Still Believe In Zeus
That sure was an indie documentary. The best part was the pagan festival footage, Greeks know how to have a good time.
INSTANT REVIEW: FIEND WITHOUT A FACE
Movie about a non-mad scientist who creates evil brains that eat people with just his thoughts. Kinda of a backward zombie movie. Instead of zombies eating brains, it is brains eating people!
INSTANT REVIEW: PRETTY BABY
Pedobear takes up photography in early 20th century New Orleans.
INSTANT REVIEW: REPO MEN
Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker repo body parts from deadbeats who can't pay for them until Jude Law gets an artificial heart and gets a conscience about killing people. Has an M. Night Shalamon ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: KILLERS
Ashton Kutcher and Tom Sellick are ex-spies trying to kill each other because Katherine Heigl was dumped by a geeky nerd.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zardoz
The penis is evil.
INSTANT REVIEW: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Cute movie. That "fuck" scene definitely is a classic.
INSTANT REVIEW: The King's Speech
King George wasn't treated nicely as a kid and developed a bad stutter. His speech pathologist helps him speak in public and they became friends.
INSTANT REVIEW: Prom Night in Missippi
integrated prom doesnt work because they have to play both white and black music
Japanese Porno movie App for Android[free]
http://ra.mypage.me/ ←download now
I am Japanese
The force required to protect the lives of the world world
Please help! There is little time remaining
Nuclear power plant in Fukushima, Japan is highly toxic plutonium around the world, strontium, iodine, threatened the health of people scattered cesium
Despite the radioactive material is scattered around the globe with just a single point of meltdown in the region of Japan
Japan, now lets spread radioactive material world of dark debris caked all over again in all 47 locations across the country!
Thank you, the government and the press
INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome
Surreal body horror mixed with social commentary. Starting half is well-paced and full of interesting content, ending half becomes a fairly generic horror slug-fest. "The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye"
INSTANT REVIEW: Being John Malkovich
Mix of drama and comedy in a refreshingly unpredictable script. A tad too lighthearted for my tastes
INSTANT REVIEW: Sonatine
Kitano makes a slow good movie about nothing.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Lost Boys (3-4/5)
Well plotted vampire flick with dual romance/humor plots. Kind of like the goonies crossed with the wild one, the teenage rebellion stylizations really add to the film.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hatchet (2/5)
Forgettable piece of shit where the best part of the film is when the characters aren't talking about the plot. Some very funny opening humor that eventually grinds down to your run-of-the-mill slasher. The film doesn't take itself very seriously, but with such monotonous plot development it's hard to think how the audience could take it any other way. Not worth your time after the first 30 minutes unless you just really dig gore
>>165
I just wanted to say thank you to >>165
Because of his review I found out about this great movie and watched it... From the first moment the movie started, with somebody in a bathtub, blood running down their forehead, and a bathroom with green (green like mold - think barton fink) tiles -- I knew that movie was for me.
INSTANT REVIEW: Alien Nation (2-3/5)
Take an interesting idea, make it as cliche and sterile as possible, add a bunch of assholes, and Whadda ya get? A shitty film where the lead is so old even running for three minutes seems to give him heart problems
Seriously, you should have seen that schmuck clutch at his chest
Instant review: The Tree Of Life (5/5)
This movie is the greatest one ever I have seen!
First of all, I was astonished by many brilliant scenes in the movie. There are beautiful trees, mountains, stories. people, scene under water, pictures of space and flowers. It is very nice!
At the second, this story is great. It contains the theme of job in bible. It is true I had not been familiar with bible, but through watching it, I was moved by great story.
This movie is great. You have to watch it!
INSTANT REVIEW: Troll hunter (4/5)
it's not profound, but at least it's entertaining. Documentary-style execution and subtle humour make it worthwhile.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fall of the House of Usher (4/5)
Maintains a tight gothic atmosphere, if a little on the melodramatic side. It's an old movie, but certainly holds its own. Vincent price is so good you can't help but smile
INSTANT REVIEW:13 Assassins (4/5)
Doesn't throw any surprises, but executes the concept well. It's a long and tedious wind-up to the action, but once there the battle sequences deserve real praise. Historical detail is also praiseworthy
INSTANT REVIEW: A State of Mind (4/5)
Despite clearly looking right at the Party minders standing behind the cameramen, this documentary about two North Korean gymnasts adds some humanity to the DPRK. There is also excellent high quality footage of the rarely-seen mass games.
Also, power outages are America's fault, apparently.
INSTANT REVIEW: Crossing the Line (4/5)
The story of James Dressnock, the last US defector to North Korea still living there today. A dropout with little future in America, he became a movie star in the DPRK.
Movie stars live in dank two bedroom apartments in the workers' paradise, it turns out.
Mutual understanding between the traditional culture of Korea through "Hanmadang Korea Festival (Festival-Korea Exchange)" was held at Seoul City Hall Plaza on April 25. This year is the seventh is "Ganbare Nippon! Korea Thank you!", Entitled to the gratitude and support for large earthquakes East Korea, was held on the theme of encouragement to affected areas.
The event will be rushed on the stage, Masatoshi Muto, Japanese ambassador "after large earthquakes East was able to overcome the difficulties with the warm attention of the Korean people. I want to thank on behalf of the Japanese people" and conveyed his appreciation. Citizens gathered at the square Muto ambassador applauded the encouragement.
To console the souls of the victims of the earthquake also, Sarupuri (derived from folk dances of exorcism ritual) is showing off his dance Sarupuri Kimurihe virtuoso. Approximately 20,000 citizens of Korea and traditional dance performances, Hanbok (traditional Korean costume) and a kimono dressing, etc., enjoyed a variety of events.
Japan continued to dance such as the Mr. Morioka, dance team, Fukushima nuclear power plant damaged in an accident due to earthquakes and tsunamis, "Hula Girls" showed off the hula. In addition, the booth in Fukushima Prefecture "has overcome great adversity with the help of the Korean people" was the banner that says 掲Ge.
Culture, Sports and Tourism Ministry (the equivalent of saving) light-sik Choi (Cheguanshiku) ministers also attended "The Japanese people want you to lose courage and hope," was greeted with.
Fukushima Prefecture's participation Kishitakashi (44) "very much the support of South Korea, are working hard to recover. Fukushima, South Korea's support and compassion always answer someday," he said.
Also, I visited the site Shinsunuon (39), "Korea and Japan have also faced dissension, I think relations are inseparable. Of Korea supported the distress experienced the earthquake in Japan I want much attention not forget, "he said.
New!
Please spread.Japan and Korea issues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaOCQ9AQyP0&feature=player_detailpage
INSTANT REVIEW: Gattaca (4/5)
Sci-fi drama regarding the pitfalls of genetic engineering. A fairly uncomplicated plot, but with moving drama. Hollywood fare done right
Also features a superb soundtrack
INSTANT REVIEW: Blue Velvet (4/5)
One of the most-talked about Lynch films also happens to be one of his most mundane. Interesting enough, but often feels a little bland.
INSTANT REVIEW: A Serious Man (2/5)
A few things happen, there is no climax in the action, and there is no resolution to a single problem. Post-meaningful film at its finest. A few funny moments make it tolerable.
INSTANT REVIEW: American History X (3/5)
Hyped up plenty, but I can't help but feel so much of it is cheap political posturing and disconnected melodrama. Not to mention that ending. The fuck? Is this even connected to the plot?
copland
INSTANT REVIEW: Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006) 4/5
Starts off quirky-strange and gradually turns creepy-strange. Protagonist is oddly endearing, but perhaps that's just me. Worth watching for the twist at the end alone.
INSTANT REVIEW: Weekend at Bernie's 2
Stupid fucking movie. Departs from the somewhat realistic scenario of the first one and goes right into the supernatural. They're not even at Bernie's and it may or may not even be a weekend. Very fun to watch with other people.
<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Intouchables
Pretty OK. Made me laugh some times, I rather enjoyed myself watching it. The only thing that buggs me is the thing they always do in dramas: They tell you how life went on etc. I'd rather see it having the black dude just walk away after waving and the credits rolling in. An open ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: Man Of Tai Chi
Keanu Reeves is Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat: Legend Of The Truman Show.
(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!(・ω・＼)SAN値!(／・ω・)／ピンチ!
これはアメリカのゲームです。１度やってみてください。
これは、たった３分でできるゲームです。試してみてください。
驚く結果をご覧いただけます。
このゲームを考えた本人は、メールを読んでからたった１０分で願い事が
かなったそうです。このゲームは、おもしろく、かつ、あっと驚く結果を貴方にもたらすでしょう。
約束してください。絶対に先を読まず、１行ずつ進む事。
たった３分ですから、ためす価値ありです。
まず、ペンと、紙をご用意下さい。
先を読むと、願い事が叶わなくなります。
①まず、１番から、１１番まで、縦に数字を書いてください。②１番と２番の横に好きな３～７の数字をそれぞれお書き下さい。
③３番と７番の横に知っている人の名前をお書き下さい。（必ず、興味の
ある性別名前を書く事。男なら女の人、女なら男の人、ゲイなら同姓の名
前をかく）
必ず、１行ずつ進んでください。先を読むと、なにもかもなくなります。
④４，５，６番の横それぞれに、自分の知っている人の名前をお書き下さい。これは、家族の人でも知り合いや、友人、誰でも結構です。
まだ、先を見てはいけませんよ！！
⑤８、９、１０、１１番の横に、歌のタイトルをお書き下さい。
⑥最後にお願い事をして下さい。さて、ゲームの解説です。
１）このゲームの事を、２番に書いた数字の人に伝えて下さい。
２）３番に書いた人は貴方の愛する人です。３）７番に書いた人は、好きだけれど叶わぬ恋の相手です。
４）４番に書いた人は、貴方がとても大切に思う人です。
５）５番に書いた人は、貴方の事をとても良く理解してくれる相手です。
６）６番に書いた人は、貴方に幸運をもたらしてくれる人です。
７）８番に書いた歌は、３番に書いた人を表す歌。
８）９番に書いた歌は、７番に書いた人を表す歌。９）１０番に書いた歌は、貴方の心の中を表す歌。
１０）そして、１１番に書いた歌は、貴方の人生を表す歌です。
この書き込みを読んでから、１時間以内に１０個の掲示板にこの書き込みをコピーして貼って下さい。そうすれば、あなたの願い事は叶うでしょう。もし、貼らなければ、願い事を逆のことが起こるでしょう。とても奇妙ですが当たってませんか？
INSTANT REVIEW: Pompeii
Evil Jack Bauer swordfight!
INSTANT REVIEW: Godzilla 2014
f'in awesome even though the big G has put on a lot of weight
INSTANT REVIEW: Elysium (2013) (3/5)
Character motivation? Not found. Sci-fi melodrama? 16,653 matches found! It's like District 9, but not as good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Philomena (2013) (5/5)
Posters make it look like a comedy. It isn't. Basically, exhibit #1,304,222 in the case against the Catholic Church in Ireland fifty years ago. It's really good.
INSTANT REVIEW: How I Live Now (2013) (3/5)
A teenage romance meets Mad Max. Sort of. A vapid teenaged POV of the end of the world, which is kind of interesting, because who cares what adults think? They're old and lame. Fuck you mom and dad. Almost worth it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dallas Buyers Club (2013) (5/5)
The early history of AIDS is fascinating and you should care about it. Matthew McConaughey thought so much of it, he damn near killed himself through starvation for his role in this film.
INSTANT REVIEW: Moneyball (2011) (4/5)
You can't buy your way to the baseball playoffs. Oh wait, yes you can. But you can also, math/autism your way into it too. If you don't like sports, don't bother.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) (2/5)
Pretty much like Star Trek III: it advances the plot in important ways, but overall, it sucks.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation (2009) (3/5)
Given the track record of the series, better than you'd expect. There sure are a lot of beautiful people with perfect teeth, given society collapsed 15 years ago...
INSTANT REVIEW: Children Underground (2001) (4/5)
If I commit suicide in the next week, you can go ahead and blame this movie. Jesus Christ...
INSTANT REVIEW: The Baader Meinhof Complex (2008) (4/5)
Remember when there were left-wing Palestinian terrorist organizations? Me neither, but this drama about leftist German terrorists is pretty good.
INSTANT REVIEW: God Bless America (2011) (4/5)
If you chose to read this thread rather than watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you'll probably like this.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) (3/5)
An nice little film adaptation of an off-broadway musical about a tranny before being a tranny became passé and rolleyes. I especially like the part about East German gummy bears.
INSTANT REVIEW: Munich (2005) (4/5)
Thinking of messing with Israel? Here's why you shouldn't. Mossad don't give a fuck.
INSTANT REVIEW: Walk on Water (2004) (4/5)
Mossad continues to not give a fuck. Murders dudes in their 90s for relatively minor war crimes (is there such a thing?). Nice settings/cinematography.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dredd (2012) (2/5)
Better than the '95 version, but mostly it's murder porn. If any movie of late deserved an NC-17 for violence, it's this one. Has it's moments, but these are interrupted by fountains of blood.
INSTANT REVIEW: Nebraska (2013) (5/5)
My only gripe is that it's in black and white. Otherwise, excellent. Watch it!
INSTANT REVIEW: Attack the Block (2011) (3/5)
Would probably be better if I could understand what they're saying. If you like low-class urban English accents, here's the horror-comedy you've been waiting for. Americans: watch with subtitles.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (3/5)
A weak showing by Wes Anderson, but still quite good if you like his work. Ralph Fiennes can do comedy too, turns out.
INSTANT REVIEW: Interstellar (2014) (4/5)
High concepts, beautiful filmmaking, and Matthew McConaughey IN SPACE. It'll get you thinking. Pretty good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Silver Linings Playbook (2012) (3/5)
Has some good performances. De Niro being De Niro is a bit distracting, though. Trigger warning: dance competition.
INSTANT REVIEW: Grey Gardens (1975) (2/5)
Those harpies shouting EDITH! at one another from across their dilapidated mansion will be the only thing you'll hear in your nightmares for weeks. Groundbreaking and often referenced in popular culture, but not worth it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Upstream Color (2013) (3/5)
At-times inept dialog and sound mixing balanced out by a mind-blowing concept and a unique visual presentation.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lincoln (2012) (3/5)
A fine piece of American propaganda that will only appeal to Americans. Basically a good way to string together clever anecdotes about Lincoln. Foreigners won't even know who that is.
INSTANT REVIEW: Looper (2012) (4/5)
This review is nearly three years late, so I'll just go ahead and spoil it: if more than one time traveler tries to kill you kid, you can safely assume your kid is Future Hitler.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) (3/5)
Dumb as hell, but shot in an interesting way. If the trailer from Grindhouse appealed to you, you'll probably get a kick out of it.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Rover (2014) (3/5)
Another pointless plot that could have been cleared up with this new thing they have called "wroting" or whatever it's called. Gains points mostly for its cool dystopian setting and proving that the male lead from those teenage vampire movies can actually act.
Read the entire thread from top to bottom. Good job.
>reads tread
> all posts sound the like same cancer
> are the same cancer
>>439
I think you're the one who's the cancer here, buddy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (4/5)
This series keeps increasing the action somehow. Given that, I can only assume the next one will cause half of all otherwise healthy adults viewing it to drop dead from heart attacks. JESUS.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot 'Em Up (2007) (2.5/5)
I'm left wondering how one trains for skydiving gun battles and why you'd have so many people qualified to do so on staff. The rest of the movie is entirely plausible, of course.
INSTANT REVIEW: Coherence (2013) (3/5)
Every character in this is so insufferable you'll be hoping something bad will happen to them. You won't be disappointed. A nice little low-budget mind-fuck.
INSTANT REVIEW: Spectre (2015) (4/5)
It's like they have a checklist of types of fights to have in the movie: fist, gun, knife, etc. That got mixed up with their list of cool vehicles to include somehow. You won't be bored.
Twitter sighing and video of Tom in a restaurant, didn't see EO but then again maybe Tom got her a bigger purse to hide behind for Christmas.
Oh sorry I posted that in the wrong thread.. Oops.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hateful Eight (2015) (4/5)
It's like The Mousetrap but with foul language and violence. Not sure why this had to be on 70mm film, since most of it takes place indoors (if you can call it indoors), but whatever.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Big Short (2015) (5/5)
Everyone in Hollywood and Anthony Bourdain explain the 2008 banking crisis with a healthy spoonful of gallows humor. Financial thriller/comedy is a genre that needs expansion.
INSTANT REVIEW: Deadpool (2016) (3/5)
Not a fan of superhero stuff, but he's not much of a hero. Probably even funnier if you understand the comic book references. I had a good time.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hail, Caesar! (2016) (4/5)
If you've seen any movie from the 1950s, you'll understand. It's light on plot, but heavy on choreography. Like every movie from the 1950s, come to think of it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman vs. Superman (2016) (2/5)
I was contractually obligated to see this movie. Every character in this movie was contractually obligated to be there too. Ben Affleck's chin stars and written by some ten year-old, I'm guessing.
INSTANT REVIEW: Everest (2015) (2/5)
The story is basically everyone dies, one guy lives. It could have been fleshed out with some mountain climbing action, but it isn't.
INSTANT REVIEW: Warcraft (2016) (4/5)
A video game movie with pacing issues, giving much focus to characters of little to no importance. Looks pretty. Sounds pretty. Does not require knowledge of the video game before watching.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek Beyond (2016) (3/5)
Fast & Furious In Space was too outlandish even for those guys, so instead they made this. It works. Maybe the odd-numbered ones will be the good ones this time around.
Tom just tweeted about vulnerable children in Africa. Admirable. I think he's trying to reclaim his prior image as a humanitarian/thespian. Let's light a candle that he can phase shift away from the relationship spectacle tabloid stories.
Tom Hiddleston Verified account
@twhiddleston
This is very frightening. Child soldier "nightmare" could be imminent in South Sudan - UNICEF: http://tmsnrt.rs/2bBY0u1 @UNICEF_uk
5:19 PM - 19 Aug 2016
INSTANT REVIEW: The X-Files (Fight the Future) (1998) (5/5)
Plays out like an extended episode of The X-Files. If you like the X-Files, you'll love the movie too. If you've never seen it before, probably not the best introduction. Scully is cute as hell too. Lots of tundras. The return of the Black Oil.
INSTANT REVIEW: Don't Breathe (2015) (1/5)
It isn't scary enough to cover up the thin plot. The twist isn't enough to cover up the shallow characters. However, it does get this year's award for least-realistic HVAC system in cinema, which is good for a laugh.
Supposed to be (2016). That's one more swipe at this: it felt like this was would have been ground-breaking in the distant past.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Nice Guys (2016) (3/5)
One of the best buddy cop pictures in a long time with a great setting. Unfortunately, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen all the best parts. If you haven't, you're in luck!
INSTANT REVIEW: Limits Of Control (2009) (3/5)
Beautiful cinematography is the real highlight of a film that is slow with an insubstantial story.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Giver
Basically Brave New World with film tropes from Logan's Run to Pleasantville. Secret appearance by Taylor Swift!
INSTANT REVIEW: Doctor Strange (2016) (4/5)
It's like Iron Man with magic. Well, more magic, I guess. Not a fan of comic book stuff, but I had a good time.
INSTANT REVIEW: Arrival (2016) (4/5)
It's nice to see some genuinely interesting sci-fi, but there's a whole subplot I just don't understand. Like, ethically. I enjoyed the ride anyway.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (4/5)
Not a rehash, which is nice. Stunning visuals. It's really too bad George Lucas didn't sell out sooner. Destroy your copies of the prequels to increase the chances that they'll become apocryphal in the distant future.
apocryphal isn't the word I'm thinking of. A myth?
INSTANT REVIEW: Logan (2017) (3/5)
Patrick Stewart brings his A-game to a B-movie. Probably the best Wolverine movie, but that's not exactly praise.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dunkirk (2017) (2/5)
There was a man outside the theater playing guitar and not singing, but instead just screaming. That's an interesting artistic choice, but not a good one. Pretty much sums up this movie for me.
INSTANT REVIEW: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) (3/5)
No Rogue One, but it's still fun. Sassy bot is underplayed, if you were wondering. Also, may be the first Star Wars movie to make a convincing case for the empire being truly evil, which is coming awfully late for this series.
INSTANT REVIEW:A Fine, Windy Day (1980)
is a 1980 South Korean film written and directed by Lee Jang-ho.
I always knew that basically South Korea is just a rich Uzbekistan. They don't have ANY kind of culture. The level of poverty is shocking, and unless you're a lawyer or a media tycoon, your life in this country would be pure hell. fuck korea
INSTANT REVIEW: Venom (2018) (2.5/5)
I just re-watched X-Men: Apocalypse and I bet I couldn't tell you anything about the plot. It'll be the same with this one. Fun in quotation marks full stop
INSTANT REVIEW: Cop Car (2015) (3/5)
Kevin Bacon should play a villain more often. He does creepy and unhinged really well. Totally worth included-with-purchase of whatever streaming service this was on.
INSTANT REVIEW: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019) (3/5)
If you're sick and tired of those goddamned hippies, this is the movie for you! Hippie abuse abounds.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ad Astra (2019) (2/5)
Brad Pitt talks about his feelings. And I do mean he talks about them, because he doesn't act them.
INSTANT REVIEW: Climax (2018) (2/5)
Shit gets fucked, no one learns anything. The soundtrack is cool, though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Joker (2019) (1/5)
Joaquin Phoenix is amazing, but that was previously established. The movie is dreary and uncomfortable with bits of dumb comic book lore pasted over it to make it all that much worse.
INSTANT REVIEW: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019) (2/5)
Jay and Silent Bob never got their much-deserved sequel in outer space, so we have to suffer through this instead. There are a few jokes, but not enough to make this good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (2/5)
You won't be bored at all. If you don't ask any questions at all, you'll have a good time. If you ask even one question, it's a mess. A complete mess.
>>488
Tons. As always. A lot of spaceship battles take place in atmosphere in this one though, so that might be the ONE thing about this movie that makes sense! I found one! I found one!
INSTANT REVIEW: 1917 (2019) (3/5)
Scenic tour of the western front
INSTANT REVIEW: Dead Within (2014) (2/5)
An extremely low-rent zombie apocalypse piece that mostly takes place in the formerly fashionable summer home of former yuppies. Now they're just crazed survivors like all who remain living. The best bits of this movie involve the poor selection of food/drink available to them six months later.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Water Diviner (2015) (3/5)
Russell Crowe's character goes looking for his dead sons in Gallipoli in 1919 using his divining powers, because that's real. He and his dead kids keep getting in the way of the real hero of the story: a grizzled Turkish officer who has a lot to say about those filthy Aussies invading his country.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pulgasari (2/5)
The North Korean answer to Godzilla. A lot of things got hurt by this project: actors, livestock, and the kaiju genre to name a few. Appears to star the Korean People's Army for some epic medieval battle scenes. Not against the monster, though. He's hardly in it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Nemesis (1992) (2.5/5)
It's about some good cyborgs battling evil cyborgs in the near future. Everyone is a heavily armored robot, so they take a lot of hits to go down. Their battles are completely ridiculous and involve aircraft cannons eventually. It's not good, but it's not boring.
i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
INSTANT REVIEW: News of the World (2021)
A very average, if not sub standard western flick starring Tom Hanks. His job in the old west is to go from town to town and read the newspaper to people for a few pennies. He finds an orphan girl and tries to find her family. The story is cliché, its full of woke themes like "white ppl bad", "we wuz injunz" and stuff about slavery even though it's completely irrelevant to the plot. There's a few good scenes, imo not worth watching but if you absolutely have to pick a new release from 2021, this might be the most watchable of the lot.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hi, Mom (2021) (你好，李焕英)
First in the box office in China. Back to the Future but it's a girl from 2021 thats sent back to 1981 and meet her mom and act as she was her distant cousin. Boring as fuck, everything is an excuse for displaying maosit propaganda.
Homeward (2020): The real dad was the friends we made along the way.
INSTANT REVIEW: Gilmore Girls (2000 to 2007)
(I watched most of this show, but didn't finish watching all of the episodes yet.) I watched the first few seasons somewhat ironically as something to watch on Netflix while eating food. However, after watching the first 1, 2, or 3 seasons, it became a show that I don't just watch to-entertain-myself-while-eating. I watched plenty even when I wasn't eating. I like this show, more than I liked "Grey's Anatomy", which is a stupid show. If you cut out the interracial stuff "Gilmore Girls" is like a pro-white TV show maybe, which is neat. Thinking about the whole "women in film/TV" thing that cucks talk about, "Gilmore Girls" pulls it off well. "Gilmore Girls" might be in the feminist genre due to the female leads and business-owning sorta-entrepreneurial single mother lead character. Compare "Gilmore Girls" with "Grey's Anatomy" and you will see that in "Grey's Anatomy" the whole powerful-wimmin woman-strong feminism thing is really too on the nose and it is annoying if I remember correctly. With "Gilmore Girls" you will laugh sometimes, be sad at least once, and will find some of the stories to be interesting. I never really got into that show "Hannibal" (even after watching the entire TV show) but I did get "Gilmore Girls".
Also, last night I dreamt that Lorelai Gilmore and Rory Gilmore went next to a train station with two men. They went to a secluded sunny area near the train station. With the men behind them they simultaneously took their tops off and then presumably dropped their pants and panties. In the next scene in my dream they were both in the doggystyle position next to each other, with their asses facing the same direction. With each girl wearing a light shirt or a bra they were both getting fucked vaginally. Presumably they had their pants and panties under their knees/legs for comfort. At some point in this series of the scenes the girls might have been passionately kissing each other. Imagine that, while each of them has a cock inside them they are French kissing each other. The dream didn't make a lot of sense though because in the last scene they were on the floor of a train car which had fencing walls (as in you could sit in a seat and get a clear view of the passing scenery to your right with the wind in your hair) but no roof. The train car had other people in it who were sorta like "WTF?" Also, in the last scene, Lorelai was wearing her work clothing (clothes she wears at the inn that she works at) as a top even though she took her jacket off previously. While the dream didn't make a lot of sense it was still pretty cash to think about and gave me an erection. In the show Rory is a momma's girl, so devoid of common behavior it makes sense that she and her mother would have sex next to each other like wild girlfriends.
Lorelai is a sexy beautiful woman who has pretty eyes, though her personality might annoy me. Rory is a doll; she is cute, young, sexy, and beautiful, and she sorta seems to have her mother's eyes. While watching the first few seasons of "Gilmore Girls" I was think about how it would be great to have a sex robot which is almost perfectly of Rory's likeness. I would fuck it all the time. I also thought or fantasized about fuck teenage Rory while she is face/stomach down on her bed and completely nude. I never had sex as a teenager; I didn't really try, but I, as any other man, would still like to have sex with a teenager. Lorelai is a total MILF, but the the utter youthfulness in her appearance has been replaced by wrinkles or the features of a grown woman. Lorelai might be a great lay though, and that part in the show were she had sex with Christopher at the Independence Inn was quite romantic.
1/2
I had that dream after watching that episode where the Gilmore girls became reunited after Rory moves out of Lane's place. I also previously saw this video on the Internet of people fucking on a bus that was striking, even if it was faked/staged. In the dream I think a man who might have been Luke was fucking Lorelai, and a young man (possibly Logan) was pounding Rory's pussy.
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What if Rory and Lorelai 69'd each other. That would be hot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmYeA5mUIgo
captcha: yid
2/2
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> pounding Rory's pussy.
every time my eye glances over this I think it's about Rory Mercury until I read back
INSTANT REVIEW: Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) (4.5/5)
"An action-rich multiverse story about overcoming generational trauma and nihilism through the power of love", that's easy to not like if you can't relate or don't have enough patience for rapid random weird stuff to stick around for the payoff.
INSTANT REVIEW: Yojimbo (1961) (5/5)
Up there in the pantheon of "guy decides to fuck things up because why not". The most "on a whim" I've ever decided to watch a film and I was not disappointed. Good one, Jimbo.
>>510
let's be honest, everyone normal hates this weeb garbage. only niggers and wiggers like evangelion.
>>515 i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
INSTANT REVIEW: Più forte ragazzi! (1973)
I liked the parrots reacting to the fist fight.
INSTANT REVIEW: Nerve (2016) (2/5)
A friend found this DVD at the dump. Unopened. An interesting sci-fi concept involving rogue social media. It's overpowered by a soundtrack that hadn't aged well long before this was made. Definitely a vehicle for the motorcycle scene at 43:18. Low budget action done well. It’ll go back to the dump someday. But probably not this week.
INSTANT REVIEW: Densha Otoko 10/10
I know, I know, this is a film talked about to death on textboards. Story of an otaku who falls in love with a normie girl after saving her from a rapist on the train, he turns to 2channel for dating advice because he's socially dysfunctional and has no friends. Basically, this film is unrealistic. We all know text/imageboard users aren't that nice, we're sadistic motherfuckers more likely to mock train man for falling for a mainstream girl or just fuck with his head in general. Also, a respectable professional girl falling for an otaku like that is just unrealistic. In real life it would all fall apart once he starts running his mouth about his favourite hentai and making lewd jokes or when she learns he can't shut the fuck up about anime. The plus side is we have a great confession scene that'll leave you drowning in cum and tears and what the heck its a movie about textboards so I'll give it a 10. Chalk it up to bias.
INSTANT REVIEW: Coordinates of Death (1985)
Soviet Vietnamese film about the Vietnam War. Very bad and contains barely any plot. It's mostly compilations of Soviets dressed as Americans flying around in Hueys while drinking beer and eating burgers while mowing down villages with miniguns as funky music plays in the background. Ends with boring ass propaganda mock trial against captured American pilots.
Feels like a 70s movie with decent effects but uses a lot of stock gunfire and explosion sounds I recognize from lots of video games. Didn't realize those stock sounds were so old. My guess is their audio equipment was terrible because there's real explosions and shit, so they did this in post to salvage it.
Never been a fan of non anglos speaking English in cinema, but seeing Vietnamese actors dubbed in Russian is probably worse.
Perhaps there's a better version out there without the stock sounds and dubbing.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shin Godzilla (2016) 3.8/5
A remake/reimagining of the original Godzilla set in post-3/11 Japan. Rather than focusing on ordinary civillians like the original film, this movie focuses on the politicians and government bureaucrats who have to manage the crisis of a giant lizard suddenly appearing to wreck the Kanto region. The Godzilla in this looks pretty awesome, his final form is a truly awesome beast. I just wish that there were more stand alone rampage sequences. Also the ending sucks because the bureaucrats manage to stop Godzilla which is totally unrealistic, we all know the one thing pencil neck can't do is their own damn job. Also, the Evangelion battle music was a nice touch.
INSTANT REVIEW: Meteor (1979) 1/5
It takes its turn at being every kind of 70s action movie on the way to botching every conceivable scientific fact. Sean Connery would rather be sailing, and can you blame him? The poster is a lie, only miniatures get to go to outer space. Notable for depicting a direct hit on the World Trade Center. How insensitive! I demand 1979 apologize!
INSTANT REVIEW: Jail Bait (1954) 1/5
Ed Wood made this below-average noir five years before Plan 9. Disappointingly for a 21st century audience, this is not porno. At this time he still had professionals on-staff for lighting and sets. There is even one character who is deaf and dumb, meaning Wood did have quality standards for his talent. At least in 1954. Blackface vaudeville act featured at 16 minutes, and I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe Wood was just friends with them??
I watched that movie "White Noise" since there was so much buzz about it from that Ohio situation. It was a garbage shit hole of a movie. I wanted my time back and hated it. Easily a 1/5 don't recommend never will watch again.
INSTANT REVIEW: White Buffalo (1977) 2/5
Charles Bronson, a nonchalant murderer of indigenous people, teams up with an indigenous man, who shares a love of murdering indigenous people, to do battle with a special effects buffalo. You can't say it didn't try something new.
INSTANT REVIEW: John Wick Chapter 4
Action scenes are great. The story is whack. Just another John Wick movie where Keanu Reeves is seemingly impervious to bullets, jumping out of 5 story buildings and being hit by cars. Pretty boring over all. They really need to stop making these movies. Also, Osama Bin Laden gets whacked by Keanu so… yeah. Tragic.
INSTANT REVIEW: Anything by Disney recently.
Crap.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part I (2023) (4/5)
A rogue AI doesn't do what it's best at (making three-armed sexy anime girls), but instead tries to take over the world. Tom Cruise has to jump off a lot of tall things in beautiful places about it. Never boring.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zardoz
Excellent style and rich philosophy that both get explored thoroughly.
INSTANT REVIEW: Paradise Now 8/10
Two buddies from the West Bank volunteer to become suicide bombers to escape their shitty lives and the threat of NEETdom, but the operation doesn't go according to plan when they get cold feet. There is a lot of bleak humor and black comedy and a few scenes where the characters give monologues about life under Israeli occupation which can come off as too preachy and forced for an otherwise subtle film.
INSTANT REVIEW:Shin Godzilla.
Just watched this movie and I thought it was great. It managed to make Godzilla unique and Anno put his own spin on it without really going into pure campy territory.
INSTANT REVIEW: Napoleon (2023) (2/5)
Another bad Hollywood biopic. Bad script, bad direction, bad acting. If you didn’t know anything about the Napoleonic wars, you’d probably never know what the hell’s going on in this movie. It’s all so uninspired and dull. Neither a personal tale about the awkward weirdo who became a conqueror, or a just series of battles and politics like your typical war film. Ridley Scott deserves an award, he somehow managed to make the battle of Austerlitz boring. The worst thing about the movie is the way it’s riled up all the Bonapartists online so they won’t stfu about it now.
INSTANT REVIEW: Sanjuro (1962) 4/5
How did I miss this gem? The only downside is the shorter runtime.
>Didn't quite enjoy it as much as the first one
Why? The first felt like starter. Didn't really get into the meat of the story and just felt disconnected. What is Christopher Walken even doing in these movies? He's mostly comatose throughout. I hate how they keep cutting back to Zendaya giving a disapproving look whenever Paul does anything wrong. Like the audience doesn't know already.
INSTANT REVIEW: Abigail 3/5
Cute loli who chews off people’s heads. The gore is nice and the mansion reminds you of Resident Evil 1 but the story and characters pretty lame and they drag up old vampire cliches. The pacing feels off too and there’s some dumb mind control shit and powers that don’t make sense. But it was nice seeing the dumb hacker girl who dresses like a Twitch streamer explode into a pile of blood and guts.
INSTANT REVIEW: 12 Monkeys 5/5
In the future humans survive undergound after a deadly virus nearly wipes them out and makes the surface uninhabitable. Bruce Willis is sent back in time to stop it. He's immediately thrown in a psyche ward where he inadvertantly inspires Brad Pitt to form a terrorist group who will go on to unleash the virus, the Army of the 12 Monkeys. Turns out they were just a bunch of impressionable college kids led by a psychotic with no real motivations besides boredom and pure schizophrenia. Now Bruce has to stop them. Highly recommend this schizo monkey movie.
>Why?
My favourite part of the Dune Novel is the journey to and arrival on Arrakis, establishing of Paul's background, and the Harkonen's Betrayal. Sure, it's a setup arc and mostly a vehicle to serve as motivation for a bunch of characters' actions later in the story, but the way we are introduced to so many new cultural concepts, opposing factions, and mysterious agendas fills me with excitement each time. Moreso than seeing it play out (but this might just be me). It sets the stage for this interspace conflict so expertly and efficiently.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ator, the Fighting Eagle
A bit lame compared to some of the better offerings in the genre? Yes, but probably also shat on a little more than it deserves by people who don't like fantasy to begin with. If you're a pulp sword & sorcery addict, you might as well put it on your list, but not with a high priority.
INSTANT REVIEW: Halloween II (1981) 2/5
Inferior rehash of the original. While it still has a few chilling scenes, it lacks the wonderful style and artistry of Carpenter's 1978 classic and what new elements it does add are pretty bad. The film is just boring and I was glad when the credits rolled.
INSTANT REVIEW: Friday The 13th (1980) 3/5
I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand, its a surprisingly suspenseful and effective film with some intelligent moments, and on the other its full of dumb shlock and is responsible for creating the generic slasher template that ruined the subgenre. The plot twist is excellent and at least its not dull.