INSTANT REVIEW MOVIE THREAD (499)

1 Name: Couch Potato 05/01/29(Sat)10:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW : Closer

A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.

Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.

201 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-08 19:56 ID:Jvxn4RO4

INSTANT REVIEW: Clockwork Orange

I didn't see any oranges.

202 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-09 09:25 ID:j2FukL7a

[b]INSTANT REVIEW:[/b] Naked Lunch

I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

203 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-10 09:43 ID:j2FukL7a

<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Naked Lunch

I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

204 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-11 12:19 ID:Heaven

spoiler: use asterisks for italic and double asterisks for bold.

205 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-15 20:29 ID:3Jn76LOP

**INSTANT REVIEW***: Rabid

Scorpion Tail Zombie Armpit.

206 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-18 19:52 ID:XZarmQnY

test

207 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-18 20:37 ID:MpV1tjme

Instant Review: Pineapple Express

Where are the pineapples? the trains? why are there druggies fighting like wannabe asians?

208 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-19 17:44 ID:oRzNvqJ+

>>207

You sir, are a idiot.

209 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-20 04:22 ID:1W4uErWv

>>208

jerk

210 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-20 20:55 ID:aXv1S9jK

INSTANT REVIEW: Rebel Without A Cause

Kid becomes a delinquent because his dad wears an apron. I could've sworn there were motorcycles in this one.

211 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-27 19:31 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: My Neighbor Toroto
A few kids make some AWESOME friends and make me wish my childhood freinds weren't such jerks.

212 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-28 02:04 ID:5SC5sAkQ

INSTANT REVIEW: Hellboy 2
Two cool bladed fighting scenes, film overall okay.

213 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-04 10:55 ID:N4Kl4bne

INSTANT REVIEW : The Big Lebowski
Anything bad you say is just, like, your opinion, man.

214 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-04 13:25 ID:81mIUYS3

INSTANT REVIEW: Shooter
Involves a lot of shooting.

INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot'em up
Involves a lot of shooting.

215 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-16 23:55 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
''Did you eat all this acid?''

216 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-17 21:28 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW : Bangkok Dangerous (the FIRST ONE, not the crappy remake!)

It has been done before, but still worth checking out.

217 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-22 11:31 ID:Heaven

>>215 I did.

218 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-22 19:52 ID:FOmJgzdW

INSTANT REVIEW: Beautiful [korean movie]

Woman gets raped and loses viriginity. Goes crazy and kills any guy that looks like tha rapist, which is everyone because every guy in korea looks the same.

219 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-25 20:09 ID:h6xYqGw8

INSTANT REVIEW: Cat-girl Kiki

Neko-mimi mode!

220 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-27 17:07 ID:h6xYqGw8

INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty Maid Cafe

Bad Densha Otoko ripoff with hardly any maids at all. It does have topless drumming though.

221 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-28 03:45 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: Chop Shop

A little Hustler kid founds out her Sister is a Whore. The end.

222 Post deleted.

223 Name: Miyuki : 2008-10-01 20:12 ID:uYH86p3w

I'd say ~~ Watch MAOU!!

It was really the only drama I liked last season.

And if you really want a silly silly drama that has no complete meaning watch 33Pun Tantei (33 Min Dectective)

224 Name: Miyuki : 2008-10-01 20:24 ID:uYH86p3w

sorry wrong place ↑↑

225 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-02 04:18 ID:7ZrTr82L

INSTANT REVIEW: Hell Ride

Quentin Tarantino presents "We Blew It, Man" produced by Quentin Tarantino (p.s. holy trinity lol)

226 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-03 03:44 ID:TsO3fL/F

INSTANT REVIEW: V For Vendetta

A cool ass guy says a bunch of big words, and blows shit up.

227 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-04 10:23 ID:rid49LrT

INSTA REVEW: Burn After Reading

Movie makes no sense and takes awhile to build up steam but the ending made it worth it.

228 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-08 12:33 ID:HGv8k9W2

ISNTANT REVIEW: Fargo

Oh god wish I didn't go off to masturbate half-way through.

229 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-09 02:29 ID:a3hllpf1

ISNTANT REVIEW: Swept Away

Rape is hot

230 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-12 00:31 ID:g5wb7yt1

INSTANT REVIEW: Memento

Oh god how did this get here I am not good with memory

231 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-12 20:48 ID:KZpZyNNC

INSTANT REVIEW: Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto

Man, this film is much better without Madonna. But I still can't masturbate to it at all.

232 Name: Tao : 2008-10-14 20:56 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: Kidulthood

"Hey blood". "Sup Blood". "Safe". puts on hood every fucking time..puts on hood for the second time..yes you are fucking cool,jeezes fucking christ..england and hoods wtf? DO they all speak kingston, they really exagerate. Bad actin

INSTANT REVIEW: Adulthood (sequel)

Walks on street, puts on hood*. Runs of street , puts on hood* He is looking gangsta..puts on hood* (see kidulthood for more hood gangsta time). What'w with all the mean faces..seriously, they all pout and it's so fucking ridiculous. Half of em can't act and the ending showdown i couldn't stop laughing..especially the baseball bat and gun scene (bwahaha!)

Meh, AVOID BOTH.

233 Name: Tao : 2008-10-19 03:36 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: My Mighty Princess

Piece of shit love comedy movie mixed with some FAIIIIL kungfu hustle.

234 Name: Jack Burton : 2008-11-03 20:44 ID:Bw2d/YFE

INSTANT REVIEW: Stargate

Stereotypical military types and a nerd go through a hole in space and fight Egyptian Space Nazis.

235 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-03 22:44 ID:zIAJHyuO

INSTANT REVIEW: One flew over the cuckoo's nest

"I'm bad. REEEL bad."
"We're all crazy!"
"I WANT MY CIGARETES!!![tears]"
Good acting, creepy as the book.

236 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-11 16:20 ID:w+tMldYx

INSTANT REVIEW: Modern Times

Hi I am Charlie Chaplin! Watch me be lovable.

Awwww.

captcha: loubable

237 Post deleted.

238 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-21 02:47 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: 7 Samurai

190 Minutes of pure fucking awesome, sadly interrupted by my friend's brother and his fucking annoying friends who constantly kept saying shit like ''What the fuck is this crap?'' and ''Turn this boring shit off we want to play GTA4''.

239 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-27 19:05 ID:kFSkoGTN

240 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-01 01:21 ID:2FYoNU/1

Hungry Bitches

One girl shits into a cup. She and another girl eat the shit, then make out. Apparently the first girl had corn for lunch.

10/10

241 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-06 15:41 ID:czECYqE0

INSTANT REVIEW: Miss Castaway and the Island Girls

Michael Jackson, the bible, and flagrant stupidity combine forces to give you a nail-gun-lobotomy-like experience.

242 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-11 18:45 ID:5FlEfr2o

INSTANT REVIEW: Waterworld

Finally, a refreshing break from the unimaginative desert of postapocalyptica. Kevin Costner as a gratingly REAL MANLY MAN.

243 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-14 03:51 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Traitor

Started well, but bam. Cliché Undercover,followed by stupid one side terrorists are evil shit.Meh

244 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-15 20:10 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: Milk

bald eagle sheds a single tear

The 60's never ended...

puts on sunglasses

...they just got a lot sexier.

The Who: YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

245 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-16 20:12 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: L.I.E.

Yesssss! I've been waiting so long for my erotic pedophile literature to be made into a film.

246 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-20 03:23 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds

Oooooh so the seven pounds means Will Smioth gives away seven pounds of body parts when he commits suicide. OOOH I GET IT! Great movie!

247 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-28 00:08 ID:2K8EWp1q

INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Will Smith playing poison Jelly fish obsessed retard or troll who in the end via his death poisons/kills one to seven of his stalked victims by the heart-attack destroyed heart, and poisoned bodyparts of his, that he's organ donating to them.

248 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-01 20:43 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds

DURRRRR! I DONT LIKE ANYTHIN THAT DOESNT HAVE BATMANS INIT!

249 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-10 21:29 ID:/7goUtCd

INSTANT REVIEW: Kisaragi

Reservoir Dogs meets wota-gei.

250 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-11 01:06 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Seven Samurai

Probably one of the most realistic movies i ever seen, beautiful!

INSTANT REVIEW: Babylon AD Unrated (uncut?)

The movie still sucks if it's uncut, and the ending is one of the worst ever

251 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-11 01:14 ID:0c/iHmJz

INSTANT REVIEW: Twilight

Features vampires who instead of burning when coming in contact with the sun, sparkle like faggots covered in glitter.

252 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-13 01:43 ID:/7goUtCd

INSTANT REVIEW: Zack and Miri Make A Porno

DUTCH RUDDER

253 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-13 18:40 ID:BYrKsMUw

INSTANT REVIEW: Blindness

Japanese guy drives car and goes blind then everyone goes blind. Blind people are sent to a quarantine facility and soon rage war on eachother.

254 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-15 04:49 ID:CzAYpRD6

INSTANT REVIEW: Rocknrolla

Anybody want to buy a painting?

255 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-16 12:53 ID:0/T46g6E

INSTANT REVIEW: Cleaner

Samuel L. "MOTHERFUCKING" Jackson cleans crime scenes. The blood looks somewhat tasty.

256 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-16 18:34 ID:rugAGVmy

INSTANT REVIEW: Let the Right One In

A nice Vampire flick from some foreign country, and features a twelve year old girl's muff. Is this movie even legal? Regardless, it's a good movie.

257 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-16 22:09 ID:2LLiaF80

Instant Review: Sakuran

Bright colors, pretty girls, nice soundtrack. I don't know how Anna Tsuchiya makes talking like a hick so sexy.

258 Name: Moosie : 2009-01-18 17:49 ID:XEa1M4LG

Instant Review: Defiance

James Bond goes back to the 40s, converts to Judaism and kills a lot of Nazis.

259 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-25 06:58 ID:XDWMX5xS

INSTANT REVIEW: Mother, Jugs, And Speed

Bill Cosby drives a hot-rod ambulance. Larry Hagman is a crazy pervert. Raquel Welch is Raquel Welch. Harvey Keitel proves he wasn't always old.

260 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-31 22:53 ID:WR9a5a8H

INSTANT REVIEW: Mandingo (1975)

The savage ugly guts of life under slavery. This movie probably couldn't be made today.

261 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-02 04:52 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie Bartlett
Kid in High School becomes kind of a psychiatrist/drug dealer. He goes out with the principal's (played by Robert Downey Jr.) daughter. Stuff happens.

Nice movie. Not too much drama, not too much comedy.

262 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-03 03:50 ID:iwMaFSKV

INSTANT REVIEW: Just You And Me, Kid (1979)

Kind of like Gran Torino. Except instead of an old racist, it's an old Vaudeville comedian. And instead of an Asian kid, it's loli Brooke Shields.

263 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-03 08:43 ID:7PT5jW8j

INSTANT REVIEW: Eraserhead (1977)
Unhappy guy with a rubber brain. The moral of the story: Babies are filled with oil and cottage cheese.

10/10

264 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-03 17:08 ID:YPWyIFi2

INSTANT REVIEW: On Any Sunday (1971)

VVVRRRROOOOM. VROOM VROOM. VROOOOOOM. Very '70s.

265 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-06 17:43 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW: Dead like me: like after death

Horrible sequel of the brilliant two season cancelled cult series "dead like me". Probably no chance we get a third season after this shit.

266 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-20 06:22 ID:rjufG3tm

INSTANT REVIEW: Jesus Camp

It's astounding to me how well-directed this documentary is. Compare it to ideology-pandering crap like "The End of the World Cult". I'm sort of upset how the careful, unbiased attitude of the directors is so blindly overlooked.

267 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-21 05:40 ID:Heaven

>unbiased
>directors

lol...

268 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-01 22:46 ID:jJVhgnTE

INSTANT REVIEW: Jonestown: The Life And Death Of The People's Temple

I could go for some Kool-Aid.

269 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-22 04:44 ID:ayu3jqph

INSTANT REVIEW: Role Model

A really cute movie. Half assholes, half LARPing, all fun.

270 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-26 20:10 ID:dBVwXTNC

INSTANT REVIEW: Hounddog

Feel-good family film of the year.

271 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-30 23:21 ID:2EzjCrMU

INSTANT REVIEW: The Godfather

I did not care for it.

272 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-02 02:12 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: π/PI (1998, Darren Aronofsky)
A guy spends too much times with numbers and goes crazy. Some trippy sequences. Awesome photography.

Would watch again again.

273 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-05 18:51 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: Knowing

Nicolas Cage knows when shit happens, and can't do anything to prevent said shit so we can watch the mess on screen.

Plot is like a subpar Shyalaman.

274 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-12 01:33 ID:UTSiZv1e

***INSTANT REVIEW:*** Let the Right One In

Swedish loli vampires. This is ALL you need to know. Just trust me on this one.

275 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-12 11:54 ID:M37eF3tW

INSTANT REVIEW: A Snake of June

Blue filters are erotic.

276 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-13 12:59 ID:Iff5cvIq

Instant review: YES MAN

Mildly funny. I like the concept, know a few people like that that shut themselves out of life that need to start saying yes and let life happen. Recommended

277 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-13 16:43 ID:M37eF3tW

Instant Review: Ong Bak 2

Films with cliffhanger endings usually annoy me but this just was't good enough for me to care. I wish they would make another movie about the autistic girl instead of Ong Bak 3.

278 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-17 14:33 ID:GBdeUGFr

Instant Review: Dragonball Evolution

Really, it wasn't that bad. Especially when you take the time to consider just how awful it could have been. I'll buy it. Goku's character did a great job.

279 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-19 16:11 ID:GNozoKDT

280 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-19 21:38 ID:Gyry0M21

INSTANT REVIEW: Lady Battle Cop

Robocop wishes he had an earring.

281 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-04 20:22 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW: A world without thieves

I wanna be THE THIEF!!

282 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-04 20:31 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW (again): Memories of Matsuko

Tragicomedy at its best!! Probably one of the best japanse movies i have ever seen, really a gem. 10/10 sniff*

283 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-09 11:12 ID:zESmWpS4

INSTANT REVIEW: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

Not funny, not interesting, not recommended.

284 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-11 17:55 ID:Heaven

>>283
I would have said "nothing like the book", but actually it would have meant exactly what you said.

285 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-23 04:04 ID:KlyCcWXW

INSTANT REVIEW: Fanboys

A simple, hilarious movie that any Star Wars fan can relate to. It features tons of cameos and Star Wars inside jokes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar" sums up the movie.

286 Name: Ryuuchi : 2009-05-26 09:00 ID:5f/uFwDX

INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek (2009)

Four words: Live long and prosper.

287 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-08 13:36 ID:TntXxXZW

INSTANT REVIEW: Dragonball Evolution

Let-down. Storyline was too rushed, no time figure out where they were, let alone develop any empathy for characters. It was just a flurry of characters with the occasional delivery of cleavage.

288 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-11 20:12 ID:BYrKsMUw

INSTANT REVIEW: Antique (Korean movie)

A guy opens a cake shop and hires a gay guy to work there. Everyone eats cake.

289 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-15 17:02 ID:GBdeUGFr

INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation

It was good, until I realised it did absolutely nothing to further the Terminator Storyline.

290 Name: heh man!fi.Jek4HW6!!gGKYHXFO : 2009-06-20 03:22 ID:Ha+QuA+5

INSTANT REVIEW: Zeitgeist

Absolute crap

291 Name: heh man!fi.Jek4HW6!!gGKYHXFO : 2009-06-20 03:25 ID:Ha+QuA+5

>>290
Actually I would have said "WTF" but still

CAPTCHA: renass

292 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-27 05:12 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: Up

good kids movie

293 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-27 16:21 ID:XL3dFN8e

>>292

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW OF Up

this faggot will never get pussy. ever.

294 Name: anonymouse : 2009-07-09 21:33 ID:ufdDrKF2

INSTANT REVIEW: Big Trouble in Little China

99 minutes of pure, uncut, china white, straight-to-the-vein AWESOME.

295 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-07-13 20:13 ID:729j9cUh

INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl

A girl with a fucking machine gun on her arm kills the shit out of everyone.

296 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-07-24 22:27 ID:WpPeDDxC

INSTANT REVIEW: Big Top Pee-Wee

Goddammit he's not supposed to have a sex drive what the fuck

297 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-03 16:42 ID:DBUuOJuF

INSTANT REVIEW: Religulous

Guy being interviewed: "I believe in God"
Bill Maher: "AH HA HA LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!"

298 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-03 21:39 ID:nguOVCKH

INSTANT REVIEW: The Good, The Bad, The Weird

Like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly except with Koreans in 1930s Manchuria and not actually much like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. If I had to choose one part of the title to review it I'd go with The Weird.

299 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-13 18:06 ID:44FcdZSB

INSTANT REVIEW: Moon

Kicks ass. See it if it comes to your neighborhood.

300 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-14 17:33 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: The Cove

Higurashi IRL

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