INSTANT REVIEW MOVIE THREAD (499)

1 Name: Couch Potato 05/01/29(Sat)10:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW : Closer

A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.

Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.

2 Name: hk0!0khonVgaHI 05/02/01(Tue)23:59 ID:kFnZIzkp

INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby

A great film written and directed Clint Eastwood, starring Clint Eastwood, about how great Clint Eastwood is.

Clorox bleach also plays a pivotal role.

3 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/03(Thu)18:10 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Emma

Two hours of silly female drama and romance and not one single sex scene with Gwyneth Paltrow.

A rip-off!

4 Name: Kankneet 05/02/06(Sun)15:36 ID:XUEu7YWn

INSTANT REVIEW: The Princess Bride

The sort of film people will quote eighteen years after it hit the theatres. Required viewing for anyone wo wants to know too much about pop culture.

5 Name: Kankneet 05/02/07(Mon)13:04 ID:XUEu7YWn

Oh, yeah, pretty forgettable as a film.

6 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/07(Mon)19:53 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft

Black dude walks through a mediocre film and makes a lot of snappy remarks on racism issues.

7 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/02/08(Tue)14:58 ID:XVF/quly

>>6

Was that the original or the remake?

INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft, the original

The setup for the big climax got too distracting so let's just shoot everybody and call it day!

8 Name: bubu!bUBu/A.ra6 05/02/09(Wed)02:32 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Machssomim (Checkpoint)

A guy sets a camera to RECORD and does nothing else, tsahal and palestinians collide, and people who never knew shit all about the middle east conflict but still waffle about it nonstop should be obligated to shut the hell up and watch it. In the end, neither tsahal nor palestijns are demonized nor glorified, but in the end you might have gained some insight and even understanding.

9 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/11(Fri)19:28 ID:6tWLXo1T

INSTANT REVIEW: Utena, Adolescence Of

LIFE IS SYMBOLISM.

10 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/20(Sun)12:54 ID:7zdmDNwf

INSTANT REVIEW: Battle Royale 2

They take the concept from BR1, add some stupid rules and removes the deep plot!

11 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/21(Mon)11:52 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Independence Day

Mars Attacks was better and that one sucked, too.

12 Name: Couch Potato 2005-03-04 19:06 ID:Heaven

>>8

tl;dr

13 Name: bubu!bUBu/A.ra6 2005-03-06 22:19 ID:Heaven

the common goldfish carassius auratus has an attention span of a full nine seconds

INSTANT REVIEW: Waking Life
better title: Ruined By Rotoscope.

14 Name: Couch Potato 2005-03-23 22:10 ID:fMUeBJii

INSTANT REVIEW: Seize the Day
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091920/
Stupid American realism with many assholes and one whiner (Robin Williams). The only good part of this movie is Jerry Stiller.

15 Name: bubu!bUBu/A.ra6 2005-03-24 22:57 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Svidd Neger
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0365810/
my kind of movie. super soundtrack. Presten - Besten!

16 Name: Couch Potato 2005-03-28 20:38 ID:5KkXahZN

INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby

I'll just say that the climatic boxing match was against an East German former prostitute who fought dirty.

17 Name: Couch Potato 2005-04-01 22:40 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Gokudô kyôfu dai-gekijô - Gozu
"what happen?", end of review.

18 Name: Kankneet 2005-04-19 00:38 ID:5KkXahZN

Instant Review: The Aviator

Go watch Citizen Kane.

19 Name: facek!DSv3yyjLCE 2005-04-28 14:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: End of Evangelion

Sex.

20 Name: Couch Potato 2005-09-14 01:21 ID:nvEzXoeC

Instant Review: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

George Lucas gives up on writing dialog and crafting plots. He filled up the screen with massive CGI and hoped no one would notice.

21 Name: Couch Potato 2005-09-14 06:12 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII:Advent Children

Shit explodes.

22 Name: Couch Potato 2005-09-16 02:24 ID:qzndub3S

INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie & the Chocolate Factory

candy rocks enough for the movie to rock via association, plus roald dahl roxx

23 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-14 22:01 ID:edO7Z2Ag

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell

what happen !!

24 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-16 06:05 ID:Heaven

instant review: cry_wolf

No one says "lol is this tom" in the entire movie.

25 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-21 20:29 ID:tJ5JQD70

INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed

somebody set up us the bomb !

26 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-22 14:16 ID:tSB3Xkms

INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed

Appleseed is that thing that has robots and stuff, right?

27 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-22 14:17 ID:RASx+m6i

INSTANT REVIEW: Dare mo shiranai (nobody knows)

long

28 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-24 01:41 ID:Vll5tmND

INSTANT REVIEW: Groove - Somewhat Realistic Rave Movie with Digweed Sounds

29 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-24 01:44 ID:Vll5tmND

INSTANT REVIEW: U2 Rattle and Hum - Where The Streets Have No Name

30 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-28 08:03 ID:Vll5tmND

INSTANT REVIEW: Shakespeare In Love

Joseph Fiennes knows his stuff and Gwynneth Paltrow is steamy.

31 Name: Beetalogist 2005-10-31 04:07 ID:h3KGz3Ec

INSTANT REVIEW: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit

I LOL'd. (May contain nuts.)

32 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-02 19:51 ID:0VOUKkQZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
ZOMG Keanu Reeves can act!

33 Name: yuri!sWV30Xl.cc 2005-11-17 22:38 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell

did i miss something?

34 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-19 05:24 ID:L4UeGDNG

INSTANT REVIEW: All About Lily Chou-Chou

I couldn't process it all while I was watching. After the screen went black I thought it over and had a moment of enlightenment.

35 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-19 15:26 ID:1lxZI+9R

INSTANT REVIEW: Saw

Fucked up shit happens to imperfect people.

36 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-19 15:57 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Audition

HOLY SHIT!!!

37 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-05 08:57 ID:Qi2VSxba

INSTANT REVIEW: Batman Begins

Gotham

38 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-05 17:06 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
no he can't

39 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-07 05:30 ID:R0kSWp+i

INSTANT REVIEW: Aeon Flux

Is nothing fucking sacred?

40 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-13 18:47 ID:1lxZI+9R

INSTANT REVIEW: Good Night and Good Luck

Think the "Liberal/Leftist media" line is recent?

41 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-15 05:25 ID:JN4IG0xc

INSTANT REVIEW: The Aristocrats

It's VIP Quality!

42 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-16 05:54 ID:4piXu4wY

INSTANT REVIEW: Kings of the Road

We're not gay

43 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-26 06:59 ID:68rvkTgj

INSTANT REVIEW: Christmas In August

Absolutely heart wrenching

44 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-26 15:50 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Blade Runner

Cyberpunk 1980s lol.

45 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-27 22:57 ID:tvp1sdEi

INSTANT REVIEW:HEIDI
OMG!!!!!!!!

46 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-02 22:52 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Shopgirl

If I were Steve Martin, I'd probably write and star in a movie where I got to sleep with Claire Danes too.

47 Name: Mr. Anderson 2006-01-05 04:31 ID:bHxGkciC

INSTANT REVIEW: densha otoko

little bitch of a man bitches over a bitch until he gets the bitch

48 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-11 15:05 ID:OTdfj4g1

INSTANT REVIEW: Stealing Beauty

sex in toscana

49 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-14 21:04 ID:cjgSNUvC

INSTANT REVIEW: Gummo

An ugly kid walks around. The End.

50 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-15 06:16 ID:nC155Q7H

INSTANT REVIEW: Butterfly Effect

Better than I expected

51 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-16 07:37 ID:OBS1lZVF

INSTANT REVIEW: Near Dark

I like short-haired pointer dogs.

52 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-19 05:10 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Iden & Tity

The following objectives were successfully completed:
-Rock & Roll all night
-Party every day

53 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-19 19:51 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Suicide Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari)

Gothic Lolita meets biker chick. In the words of Sam Jackson, you either want to see that, or you don't.

54 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-21 17:05 ID:Heaven

>>53
that's "kamikaze girls" you twit. and it is an excellent movie

55 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-21 17:26 ID:Heaven

>>54
Shit, you're right. That's what I get for having other open tabs... _| ̄|○

56 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-26 03:59 ID:HsDGkw02

INSTANT REVIEW: Last Life in the Universe

WTF is this "lady and the tiger" shit? Two hours of fine, fine, movie, ruined by the crappiest ending I've ever seen! Fuck that noise!

57 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-26 04:04 ID:HsDGkw02

correction: "Lady or the Tiger", can't have it both ways

58 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-29 03:44 ID:wbg6998p

INSTANT REVIEW: Chunking Express

Damn, I wish it was 1994 and I lived in Chunking Mansions.
Christopher Doyle is a master in depicting Hongkong.
(btw Faye Wong is cute)

59 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-01 04:38 ID:1lxZI+9R

INSTANT REVIEW: Sin noticias de Dios (USA:Don't tempt me)

Asshole gets both Heaven and Hell trying to get him through the pearly gates. Penelope Cruz plays an agent of Hell, who flirts with the agent of Heaven, played by Victoria Abril. Very good.

60 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-14 08:12 ID:0pR2ClQY

INSTANT REVIEW: Egg [ http://www.slowlearner.co.jp/movies/egg/ ]

(comment: seen unsubtitled by someone who does not know japanese nor russian, and thus "fast fwding" in the parts where "nothing was happening")
Delightfully confusing and entertaining mix of creepiness, guy in rubber outfit (the "evil" creature), (visually beautiful) moodsetting scenes and interesting cutting technique.

61 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-15 18:55 ID:zyNX/3QN

INSTANT REVIEW: Underworld Evolution

Finally, Kate Beckinsale shows some skin...which she really should have done on the first one.

62 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-28 01:42 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Walk The Line

Johnny Cash was cool. This movie was emo. Buy his greatest hits CD instead.

63 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-28 06:41 ID:EoqF7Chn

英語が難しくてテストがダメでした。
英語を覚える方法を教えてください

64 Name: sage : 2006-02-28 20:37 ID:zIqFwIvF

>>63
No.

65 Name: ういうい : 2006-03-04 05:20 ID:lESHSz5R

こんばんは。
応援してます。

みんな、英語うまいね。。。

66 Name: ういうい : 2006-03-04 05:22 ID:lESHSz5R

When the Japanese lid sitting language relies on is chosen to be
overseas software, Japanese is sad .... somehow ..it is... Korean

67 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-07 01:57 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: The Tao of Steve

Eliminate your desire.

68 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-11 00:13 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: Lorelei, Witch of the Pacific

Now they've done it! They've gone and pissed off the United States!

69 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-11 04:18 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

This doesn't look anything like in the poster, and they wouldn't let me bring in my marijuana that I use for legitimate medical purposes!

70 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-11 04:27 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Mask

Boy's head is shaped like a potato.
Cher's head is also shaped like a potato.

71 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-12 03:43 ID:WPunuEY1

INSTANT REVIEW: Oldboy

Dudes talk in Korean, dudes fight, main dude cuts himself a lot and barks like a dog. Glass breaks. Hugs!

72 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-12 04:19 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Amélie

Your girlfriend will let you get to second base if you watch this with her.

73 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-14 23:47 ID:HwQXLv0U

INSTANT REVIEW: Thunder Ninja Kids

What the fuck was THAT

74 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-15 19:08 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Broken (1992)

You may became physically ill and develop a major schizophrenic episode. Passing kidney stones is a more pleasant experience.

75 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-17 03:00 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: Fearless (1993)

This movie makes me want to crash a Volvo into a brick wall, it looks like so much fun. I hope you don't have to have Rosie Perez in the car for it work.

76 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-29 18:54 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: Koi No Mon

Rocks. Manga. Love. Cosplay. Hideki Anno cameo.

77 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-30 16:29 ID:SM8mCpTh

INSTANT REVIEW: Electric Dragon 80000V

Most AWESOME movie ever. Seriously, it's more outright entertaining than anything I've watched for a long while.

78 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-06-24 23:56 ID:ovXa/RJ2

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost Rider

I hope Mark Steven Johnson dies of AIDS.

79 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-06-25 00:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: The Man in White

Yakuza, fuck yeah!

80 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-06-25 13:24 ID:Xiv4J+Pw

INSTANT REVIEW: Musuka

just like trash

81 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-07-26 08:27 ID:9ZTmh+bS

INSTANT REVIEW: Saw series/The Hills Have Eyes series

Because real snuff films are illegal.

82 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-07-30 06:03 ID:PadaW6Lc

INSTANT REVIEW: My Sassy Girl

Why can't america do romance films like this?

83 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-01 04:04 ID:tHhHckJ7

INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Car make helicopter go boom to save America! l33t!!!!

84 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-01 08:45 ID:9/TGCasQ

INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness of the Katakuris

Takashi Miike's best film, and unlike most of his work, it's a friggin musical!

85 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-04 04:46 ID:ggUKQ0OQ

INSTANT REVIEW: 2001: A Space Odyssey

Floating spaceships and classical music

86 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-06 04:26 ID:oRDToeeB

>>85

Also, SPACE BABY!

87 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-08 00:08 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Las Vegas Story (1952)

Thanks to The Aviator, I knew to expect retro boobs when I saw Howard Hughes' name in the credits. I was not disappointed. Also, Hoagy Carmicheal.

88 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-08 00:10 ID:EscmMm0U

89 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-08 07:20 ID:WYGDqVmc

INSTANT REVIEW: Fight Club

Fav movie of all time

90 Post deleted by moderator.

91 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-09 12:19 ID:sD6devQc

Instant REVIEW: The Simpsons the Movie

4 episodes in 1 80 minute film

92 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-10 03:13 ID:I6QXW9tf

>>91
Felt like 20 minutes to me.

93 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-10 03:17 ID:I6QXW9tf

INSTANT REVIEW: 1408

Silent Hill: The Room

94 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-10 15:24 ID:/vmpeGBA

>>84
also unlike most of his work, it's actually good!
>>92
is that a good thing or a bad thing?

95 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-11 01:12 ID:I6QXW9tf

>>94
Both

96 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-12 22:47 ID:5k2fA1bn

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghostbustars!!

You think it was going to be creepy. Totally Funny and awesome. Thank you gods for the 80's.

97 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-13 02:56 ID:IJgfNPns

INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard

Manliest movie of the year.

98 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-13 06:44 ID:UCiS0BCz

INSTANT REVIEW: 300

There were scarred gimp lesbians in this movie.

99 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-14 17:06 ID:V5JPjjGb

INSTANT REVIEW: 300

The dialogue was designed solely to be shouted constantly by annoying teenagers for months to come.

100 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-19 06:28 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Logan's Run

In the 70's, they thought everyone would live in a totalitarian mall. They sure nailed the 80's.

Also 100 GET

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