INSTANT REVIEW MOVIE THREAD (499)

1 Name: Couch Potato 05/01/29(Sat)10:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW : Closer

A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.

Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.

101 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-20 01:18 ID:X5qz/2YW

INSTANT REVIEW: Any Adam Sandler movie ever

Adam Sandler does funny shit and has a retarded voice.

He falls out with his love interest halfway through the
movie only to win her back in the end.

102 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-20 16:32 ID:5t+lkfCP

INSTANT REVIEW: Kite (animu)

sex and attractive hitmen/woman.

103 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-23 03:03 ID:PadaW6Lc

INSTANT REVIEW: Wild Zero

/b/ in movie form like visitor q

104 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-26 01:28 ID:Heaven

>>101

I wouldn't use the word "funny" to describe Adam Sandler. Maybe "stupid" or even "dumbass", but not funny.

105 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-09-29 20:21 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Harvey (1950)

Lol Donnie Darko ripoff

106 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-09-30 01:16 ID:Heaven

>>105
protip: 1950 comes before whenever donnie darko was released

107 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-09-30 13:31 ID:mteqpKSK

Forbidden Planet

Always read the owners manual before opperating strange alien devices with limited power.

108 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-03 10:14 ID:hqmPopdS

INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty in Pink

Is that the guy from Two and a Half Men?

109 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-03 15:46 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Stranger Than Fiction

Wait, what the fuck's going on? Is the story even going anywhere?

110 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-03 16:02 ID:Heaven

LOOK OUT, A LOT OF REVIEWS.

INSTANT REVIEW: Rush Hour 3

Rush Hour 1 and 2, set in France.

INSTANT REVIEW: Napoleon Dynamite

My friends are assholes. This movie isn't funny, it's shit.

INSTANT REVIEW: 300

Keep the sound on mute, play heavy metal music instead, and fast forward through any parts that feature talking. It makes the movie so much better.

INSTANT REVIEW: FLCL

Sex jokes and deep hidden meanings coated with action, more sex jokes, and crazy shit.

INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

See "INSTANT REVIEW: 300".

111 Post deleted by moderator.

112 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-15 10:11 ID:XkmusiJC

INSTANT REVIEW: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

If anything, you'll learn what the anthropic principle is by the end of the series.

113 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-17 14:57 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: King Kong

Bestiality.

114 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-17 14:57 ID:Heaven

>>113

>Beastiality.

My mistake.

115 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-17 22:38 ID:2END/MwE

It was right the first time.

116 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-21 04:32 ID:EVHLecbx

ROCKY 1:
Kinda sorta alright and then awesome when they get to the BOXAN.

ROCKY 2:
Same deal as Rocky 1 except the fight was epic as fuck.

I should watch ROCKY 3 sometime. It's been on my computer for months now.

117 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-23 01:19 ID:lSiEe9vq

INSTANT REVIEW: Inland Empire

Random shit thrown together.

118 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-23 05:37 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard With A Vengeance

Jeremy Irons camps it up as a vaguely German villain who is somehow not a Nazi. Samuel Jackson threatens to shove a lightning bolt up the ass of Bruce Willis, who for his part is Having A Very Bad Day and Gettin' Too Old For This Shit.

119 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-24 23:11 ID:4XsSd8/b

INSTANT REVIEW: Rendition

lol suicide bombs and torture wtf

120 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-25 15:11 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Any Tyler Perry Movie

A woman gets beat. Madea comes to the rescue.

121 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-29 14:58 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Team America: World Police

South Park with puppets. Theme song kicks ass.

122 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-31 06:30 ID:UEi/ZRyY

Instant Review: Boondock Saints

Alcoholic micks rip off every 90's action cliche in the book and make anyone with an IQ below 100 think they've seen the greatest movie ever.

123 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-15 13:57 ID:hqmPopdS

INSTANT REVIEW: Leon

loli + assassin + Gary Oldman = INSTANT WIN

124 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-16 14:52 ID:bTzaZI6n

INSTANT REVIEW: The Paycheck

Ben Affleck really is a good looking man. Never really appreciated that until now. Alas, J-Lo kinda made him lame.

125 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-16 20:12 ID:8V7cG3iX

INSTANT REVIEW: Marie Antoinette
The Pre-Reincarnated Paris Hilton tells france to eat cake and spends half the movie waiting for the prince to fuck her. Trippy colours and music, non-existant story-line

126 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-28 10:36 ID:hqmPopdS

INSTANT REVIEW: Beowulf
I am the Terror that Flaps in the night.
I am the winged Scourge that pecks at your nigthmares.
I Am Darkwing Duck!

127 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-30 19:37 ID:j8ywJVEz

>>126
Darkwing Duck is a fucking pimp

128 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-03 18:19 ID:FDXP6vgN

INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard
Bruce Willis is an average cop who can kill terrorists with ease, yet keeps stepping on glass.

129 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-04 11:29 ID:6+MAfwWo

>>126 I am the Terror that faps in the night.

130 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-05 06:40 ID:feQrr6e0

INSTANT REVIEW: THE BIG COMBO

Oh man, Mr. Brown is an awesome asshole.

131 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-10 22:55 ID:w4JaUcDg

INSTANT REVIEW: Alpha Dog

15 year-old virgin has a 3-way in a pool with 2 hot chicks, ensuring that he dies happy later that night.

132 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-14 23:52 ID:vvQAnsfC

INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness (1998)

Of all the movies I've seen involving pederasty (two), this one is the funniest.

133 Post deleted.

134 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-17 04:51 ID:8rHeXGMv

INSTANT REVIEW: Juno

Take Napoleon Dynamite. Instead of a Idahoan loser, take a selfconscious and laid-back Minnesota girl. Instead of a dance contest, take a pregnancy. Instead of lighthearted fluff, take some serious shit she needs to deal with.

That's the movie the director saw in this screenplay. And it wasn't bad. But with a different directory this amazing screenplay could have flowered to life.

135 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-31 19:50 ID:IIyshfQc

INSTANT REVIEW: Hackers

Matthew Lillard was robbed at the Oscars that year.

136 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-01 00:41 ID:fx5C6npo

INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia

Why did'nt you invite her, you HEARTLESS FUCKER. She loved you, you know that don't you?

137 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-12 20:41 ID:+o3b3wSz

INSTANT REVIEW: Death Proof

Gah, feet. Feet. FEEEEEEET.

138 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-14 19:37 ID:nHV4BgIw

INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia

read the book, then fap to annasphia robb separately for best of both worlds

139 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-27 02:43 ID:brhL6Ich

INSTANT REVIEW: RAMBO
PURE, CONCENTRATED MANLINESS with 2.56 KILLS/MINUTE.

140 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-28 01:42 ID:wy8UZjSL

INSTANT REVIEW: CLOVERFIELD

IT'S A CRAB.

141 Name: Mr. Triple Shogun : 2008-01-28 09:36 ID:px6YcTOk

Instant review: THE HOST

What a monster movie it is!

142 Post deleted.

143 Name: Monzika : 2008-02-04 00:26 ID:y+o+VP8n

Does anyone know where I can find the soundtrack to the movie? I can only find the soundtrack to the show online and it's really frustrating!!!

144 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-11 05:19 ID:V1woGdFj

INSTANT REVIEW: Angst essen Seele auf

Ali's German is very gute!! One of those rare movies which shows all the awful and wonderful parts of love and hides nothing. It won't make you jealous to be single! Also the camera work is superb.

145 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-13 20:43 ID:0uCHgxrC

INSTANT REVIEW: Heavy Metal

Hearing John Candy's voice while I watch rotoscoped tits makes me feel all funny inside.

146 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-17 08:51 ID:/3Slou9F

any review for "Jumper"?

147 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-17 21:01 ID:uUFuxWA3

INSTANT REVIEW: Jumper

"Man, that Nightcrawler movie was awesome"

148 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-20 17:24 ID:W+/3qLja

>>147 good idea, bad execution.
"hey i seemingly died 8 years ago, wanna go to rome?"

149 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-21 14:32 ID:NKYgVP+N

i agree with couch potato. the "jumper" concept was really good however the movie was boring.

151 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-21 16:36 ID:ZMySu8e0

INSTANT REVIEW: Phone Booth (2002)

"Who is calling me? How do you know who I am? Did you just fucking shoot that lady? Oh lawd, bean bag guns! Hey, you're right in front of me but I can't do jack shit!" - End movie.

152 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-22 05:01 ID:vvQAnsfC

INSTANT REVIEW: Loose Change

Jews Did WTC

153 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-26 06:55 ID:AnntehUE

Been seeing a lot of movies lately...

Invasion of the Body Snatchers: Good, despite the extreme fiftiesness. The Doctor's girlfriend kind of pissed me off.

Amelie: I could really relate to Amelie's life. Her shyness, her wonder at the world... I just wish I knew where to find a boy in a photobooth.

Hinokio: Awww, cute robot love. <3

154 Name: fds : 2008-02-27 05:10 ID:DnCPaGJq

155 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-29 10:11 ID:9ATDR6zR

INSTANT REVIEW: Suspect Zero

"I'm not really Gandhi, OK?"

156 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-11 22:17 ID:9PNsWAfZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Battles Without Honor And Humanity

Blarg im ded

157 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-11 23:38 ID:eWGVAKUU

INSTANT REVIEW: Sleeping Beauty
Not the "girly" princess movie everybody assumes it to be

158 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-20 01:47 ID:uRQwnNce

INSTANT REVIEW: 300
Men in their underwear killing everything that moves. Not bad.

159 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-20 04:43 ID:NFEhbewD

INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men

These kids these days with their drug running and their gruesome psychopathic assassins. I wish my dad was here, he'd know what to do.

160 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-24 10:35 ID:0XQO2bC4

INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men

Not as good as Fargo.

161 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-24 10:58 ID:Heaven

Gee, that really narrows it down, as nearly every movie ever made is not as good as Fargo.

162 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-30 13:25 ID:YtiB1osc

INSTANT REVIEW: doomsday

resident evil + madmax + king author
was only entertaining in laughing at how bad it was. and actually that was pretty entertaining

163 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-31 09:17 ID:aDYAwPve

INSTANT REVIEW: Meet the Spartans

Epic Movie has more class

164 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-11 10:43 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS LiveAction

Acting is bad, robots all look alike, hope they never make a second NO WAIT GAAAAAAH

165 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-22 01:04 ID:kfFz1LFy

INSTANT REVIEW: Dark City

I like the Matrix better overall, but I prefer this movie's production design, since we never spend a single minute in a "real world" setting that looks like a sewage treatment plant.

166 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-26 14:19 ID:vvQAnsfC

INSTANT REVIEW: Total Recall

When I was ten years old this was The Best Movie Ever Made. It still kicks all kind of ass but my tastes have matured. Now, whenever I get the opportunity, I claim the book was better although I've never actually read it.

167 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-26 15:12 ID:dMYt7twK

INSTANT REVIEW: Alien
Great movie. Lots of action and memorable events.

168 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-05 19:03 ID:cx2GvUV7

INSTANT REVIEW: Juno

Teenage pregnancy is a-okay if you have a bunch of 'thrift store' clothes and an impenetrable command of the latest slang!

169 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-08 19:06 ID:H9XsE4ZM

170 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-12 20:15 ID:FDXP6vgN

INSTANT REVIEW: Iron Man
The ideal American builds a metal suit and almost kisses his employee.

171 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-12 23:59 ID:4FEjgmoC

INSTANT REVIEW: Speed Racer

Kickass car-fu, and a monkey throwing shit.

172 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 04:15 ID:sPmlFTI5

INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.

173 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 04:18 ID:sPmlFTI5

INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.

174 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 06:36 ID:nECKQqOX

INSTANT REVIEW : Anatomy

great if you like foreign films about people getting turned into wax statues for a secret research society

175 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 17:42 ID:nECKQqOX

INSTANT REVIEW: Queen Me

nice if you like to see an over weight girl crying every 10 minutes

176 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-10 00:12 ID:EhYa8enS

INSTANT REVIEW: 13 tzameti

The Real Fight Club

177 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-10 01:54 ID:sPmlFTI5

Look it up

178 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-12 06:28 ID:llbSatvJ

I LOVE INSTANT REVIEWS

179 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-15 23:02 ID:PXjX7+Il

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

180 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:02 ID:kM6CLnrd

INSTANT REVIEW: The Zeitgeist

Movie makes claims, some are better made than others, people argue on the internet.

181 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:03 ID:kM6CLnrd

INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup

Wat

182 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:04 ID:k8zceJeo

INSTANT REVIEW: Paprika

Best detective film ever for those who don't like detective films

183 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:16 ID:kM6CLnrd

INSTANT REVIEW: bicycle thieves

A kid finds a job that requires a bike, looks for a bike, gets a bike, bike gets stolen. Deep post-war social commentary.

184 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:18 ID:+LLirk5I

INSTANT REVIEW: La Terra Trema

Movie about the lives of fishermen, who are played by real fishermen.

185 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:18 ID:+LLirk5I

INSTANT REVIEW: Germany Year Zero

Kid does A LOT OF WALKING and finds random shit in junkyards to sell

186 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:25 ID:+LLirk5I

INSTANT REVIEW: The Wildbunch

Cowboys kill lots of people. They then get killed by lots of people.

187 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-18 11:14 ID:Lkum7xSQ

INSTANT REVIEW: Batman: The Dark Knight

WTF GO SEE IT

188 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-19 03:57 ID:dplxThMy

INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Its only now that I'm sad about Heath Ledger's death

189 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-19 14:23 ID:PmenWPYL

INSTANT REVIEW: Hot fuzz
so funny,good temp story

190 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-21 21:24 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: Clerks
Life is always shit, but it's funny when the shit is happening to other people. Also, people talk a lot.

191 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-24 15:59 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
I don't even remember the comics being this good. In fact, I remember barely any comics that were this good.

192 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-24 19:15 ID:w51MXUdB

INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl

Drill bra!

193 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-24 23:57 ID:U4NEdhLC

INSTANT REVIEW: I like it hot

Lesbian teenagers are indeed hot!!

194 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-25 03:55 ID:YtiB1osc

INSTANT REVIEW: clerks 2

contains bonus instant review of LOTR

195 Name: FiRez : 2008-07-27 05:03 ID:AdJUKp5X

INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight

Best. movie. ever.

196 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-27 19:26 ID:g/r7XQ1X

>>192

that movie, shit all over.

197 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-27 21:45 ID:oPpBggXR

INSTANT REVIEW: God Speed You! Black Emperor

I totally want to buy a Kawasaki motorcycle and put a gigantic back seat on it.

198 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-27 22:17 ID:1YOEtAnR

instant review: natural born killers

woody harrelson plays his father

199 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-29 16:26 ID:rSLd8T6U

INSTANT REVIEW: Apocalypse Now - Redux
Cool color correction

200 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-08 02:06 ID:pApa9gq6

INSTANT REVIEW: The Naked City

Like a really long episode of Law & Order. Decent footage of New York in the 40's though.

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