INSTANT REVIEW : Closer
A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.
Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Naked City
Like a really long episode of Law & Order. Decent footage of New York in the 40's though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Clockwork Orange
I didn't see any oranges.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW:[/b] Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
spoiler: use asterisks for italic and double asterisks for bold.
**INSTANT REVIEW***: Rabid
Scorpion Tail Zombie Armpit.
test
Instant Review: Pineapple Express
Where are the pineapples? the trains? why are there druggies fighting like wannabe asians?
INSTANT REVIEW: Rebel Without A Cause
Kid becomes a delinquent because his dad wears an apron. I could've sworn there were motorcycles in this one.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Neighbor Toroto
A few kids make some AWESOME friends and make me wish my childhood freinds weren't such jerks.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hellboy 2
Two cool bladed fighting scenes, film overall okay.
INSTANT REVIEW : The Big Lebowski
Anything bad you say is just, like, your opinion, man.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shooter
Involves a lot of shooting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot'em up
Involves a lot of shooting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
''Did you eat all this acid?''
INSTANT REVIEW : Bangkok Dangerous (the FIRST ONE, not the crappy remake!)
It has been done before, but still worth checking out.
>>215 I did.
INSTANT REVIEW: Beautiful [korean movie]
Woman gets raped and loses viriginity. Goes crazy and kills any guy that looks like tha rapist, which is everyone because every guy in korea looks the same.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat-girl Kiki
Neko-mimi mode!
INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty Maid Cafe
Bad Densha Otoko ripoff with hardly any maids at all. It does have topless drumming though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Chop Shop
A little Hustler kid founds out her Sister is a Whore. The end.
I'd say ~~ Watch MAOU!!
It was really the only drama I liked last season.
And if you really want a silly silly drama that has no complete meaning watch 33Pun Tantei (33 Min Dectective)
sorry wrong place ↑↑
INSTANT REVIEW: Hell Ride
Quentin Tarantino presents "We Blew It, Man" produced by Quentin Tarantino (p.s. holy trinity lol)
INSTANT REVIEW: V For Vendetta
A cool ass guy says a bunch of big words, and blows shit up.
INSTA REVEW: Burn After Reading
Movie makes no sense and takes awhile to build up steam but the ending made it worth it.
ISNTANT REVIEW: Fargo
Oh god wish I didn't go off to masturbate half-way through.
ISNTANT REVIEW: Swept Away
Rape is hot
INSTANT REVIEW: Memento
Oh god how did this get here I am not good with memory
INSTANT REVIEW: Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto
Man, this film is much better without Madonna. But I still can't masturbate to it at all.
INSTANT REVIEW: Kidulthood
"Hey blood". "Sup Blood". "Safe". puts on hood every fucking time..puts on hood for the second time..yes you are fucking cool,jeezes fucking christ..england and hoods wtf? DO they all speak kingston, they really exagerate. Bad actin
INSTANT REVIEW: Adulthood (sequel)
Walks on street, puts on hood*. Runs of street , puts on hood* He is looking gangsta..puts on hood* (see kidulthood for more hood gangsta time). What'w with all the mean faces..seriously, they all pout and it's so fucking ridiculous. Half of em can't act and the ending showdown i couldn't stop laughing..especially the baseball bat and gun scene (bwahaha!)
Meh, AVOID BOTH.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Mighty Princess
Piece of shit love comedy movie mixed with some FAIIIIL kungfu hustle.
INSTANT REVIEW: Stargate
Stereotypical military types and a nerd go through a hole in space and fight Egyptian Space Nazis.
INSTANT REVIEW: One flew over the cuckoo's nest
"I'm bad. REEEL bad."
"We're all crazy!"
"I WANT MY CIGARETES!!![tears]"
Good acting, creepy as the book.
INSTANT REVIEW: Modern Times
Hi I am Charlie Chaplin! Watch me be lovable.
Awwww.
captcha: loubable
INSTANT REVIEW: 7 Samurai
190 Minutes of pure fucking awesome, sadly interrupted by my friend's brother and his fucking annoying friends who constantly kept saying shit like ''What the fuck is this crap?'' and ''Turn this boring shit off we want to play GTA4''.
Hungry Bitches
One girl shits into a cup. She and another girl eat the shit, then make out. Apparently the first girl had corn for lunch.
10/10
INSTANT REVIEW: Miss Castaway and the Island Girls
Michael Jackson, the bible, and flagrant stupidity combine forces to give you a nail-gun-lobotomy-like experience.
INSTANT REVIEW: Waterworld
Finally, a refreshing break from the unimaginative desert of postapocalyptica. Kevin Costner as a gratingly REAL MANLY MAN.
INSTANT REVIEW: Traitor
Started well, but bam. Cliché Undercover,followed by stupid one side terrorists are evil shit.Meh
INSTANT REVIEW: Milk
bald eagle sheds a single tear
The 60's never ended...
puts on sunglasses
...they just got a lot sexier.
The Who: YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: L.I.E.
Yesssss! I've been waiting so long for my erotic pedophile literature to be made into a film.
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Oooooh so the seven pounds means Will Smioth gives away seven pounds of body parts when he commits suicide. OOOH I GET IT! Great movie!
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Will Smith playing poison Jelly fish obsessed retard or troll who in the end via his death poisons/kills one to seven of his stalked victims by the heart-attack destroyed heart, and poisoned bodyparts of his, that he's organ donating to them.
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
DURRRRR! I DONT LIKE ANYTHIN THAT DOESNT HAVE BATMANS INIT!
INSTANT REVIEW: Kisaragi
Reservoir Dogs meets wota-gei.
INSTANT REVIEW: Seven Samurai
Probably one of the most realistic movies i ever seen, beautiful!
INSTANT REVIEW: Babylon AD Unrated (uncut?)
The movie still sucks if it's uncut, and the ending is one of the worst ever
INSTANT REVIEW: Twilight
Features vampires who instead of burning when coming in contact with the sun, sparkle like faggots covered in glitter.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zack and Miri Make A Porno
DUTCH RUDDER
INSTANT REVIEW: Blindness
Japanese guy drives car and goes blind then everyone goes blind. Blind people are sent to a quarantine facility and soon rage war on eachother.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rocknrolla
Anybody want to buy a painting?
INSTANT REVIEW: Cleaner
Samuel L. "MOTHERFUCKING" Jackson cleans crime scenes. The blood looks somewhat tasty.
INSTANT REVIEW: Let the Right One In
A nice Vampire flick from some foreign country, and features a twelve year old girl's muff. Is this movie even legal? Regardless, it's a good movie.
Instant Review: Sakuran
Bright colors, pretty girls, nice soundtrack. I don't know how Anna Tsuchiya makes talking like a hick so sexy.
Instant Review: Defiance
James Bond goes back to the 40s, converts to Judaism and kills a lot of Nazis.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mother, Jugs, And Speed
Bill Cosby drives a hot-rod ambulance. Larry Hagman is a crazy pervert. Raquel Welch is Raquel Welch. Harvey Keitel proves he wasn't always old.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mandingo (1975)
The savage ugly guts of life under slavery. This movie probably couldn't be made today.
INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie Bartlett
Kid in High School becomes kind of a psychiatrist/drug dealer. He goes out with the principal's (played by Robert Downey Jr.) daughter. Stuff happens.
Nice movie. Not too much drama, not too much comedy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Just You And Me, Kid (1979)
Kind of like Gran Torino. Except instead of an old racist, it's an old Vaudeville comedian. And instead of an Asian kid, it's loli Brooke Shields.
INSTANT REVIEW: Eraserhead (1977)
Unhappy guy with a rubber brain. The moral of the story: Babies are filled with oil and cottage cheese.
10/10
INSTANT REVIEW: On Any Sunday (1971)
VVVRRRROOOOM. VROOM VROOM. VROOOOOOM. Very '70s.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dead like me: like after death
Horrible sequel of the brilliant two season cancelled cult series "dead like me". Probably no chance we get a third season after this shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Jesus Camp
It's astounding to me how well-directed this documentary is. Compare it to ideology-pandering crap like "The End of the World Cult". I'm sort of upset how the careful, unbiased attitude of the directors is so blindly overlooked.
>unbiased
>directors
lol...
INSTANT REVIEW: Jonestown: The Life And Death Of The People's Temple
I could go for some Kool-Aid.
INSTANT REVIEW: Role Model
A really cute movie. Half assholes, half LARPing, all fun.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hounddog
Feel-good family film of the year.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Godfather
I did not care for it.
INSTANT REVIEW: π/PI (1998, Darren Aronofsky)
A guy spends too much times with numbers and goes crazy. Some trippy sequences. Awesome photography.
Would watch again again.
INSTANT REVIEW: Knowing
Nicolas Cage knows when shit happens, and can't do anything to prevent said shit so we can watch the mess on screen.
Plot is like a subpar Shyalaman.
***INSTANT REVIEW:*** Let the Right One In
Swedish loli vampires. This is ALL you need to know. Just trust me on this one.
INSTANT REVIEW: A Snake of June
Blue filters are erotic.
Instant review: YES MAN
Mildly funny. I like the concept, know a few people like that that shut themselves out of life that need to start saying yes and let life happen. Recommended
Instant Review: Ong Bak 2
Films with cliffhanger endings usually annoy me but this just was't good enough for me to care. I wish they would make another movie about the autistic girl instead of Ong Bak 3.
Instant Review: Dragonball Evolution
Really, it wasn't that bad. Especially when you take the time to consider just how awful it could have been. I'll buy it. Goku's character did a great job.
you know what is real ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M1mwu64rvg
INSTANT REVIEW: Lady Battle Cop
Robocop wishes he had an earring.
INSTANT REVIEW: A world without thieves
I wanna be THE THIEF!!
INSTANT REVIEW (again): Memories of Matsuko
Tragicomedy at its best!! Probably one of the best japanse movies i have ever seen, really a gem. 10/10 sniff*
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Not funny, not interesting, not recommended.
>>283
I would have said "nothing like the book", but actually it would have meant exactly what you said.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fanboys
A simple, hilarious movie that any Star Wars fan can relate to. It features tons of cameos and Star Wars inside jokes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar" sums up the movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek (2009)
Four words: Live long and prosper.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dragonball Evolution
Let-down. Storyline was too rushed, no time figure out where they were, let alone develop any empathy for characters. It was just a flurry of characters with the occasional delivery of cleavage.
INSTANT REVIEW: Antique (Korean movie)
A guy opens a cake shop and hires a gay guy to work there. Everyone eats cake.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation
It was good, until I realised it did absolutely nothing to further the Terminator Storyline.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zeitgeist
Absolute crap
>>290
Actually I would have said "WTF" but still
CAPTCHA: renass
INSTANT REVIEW: Up
good kids movie
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Trouble in Little China
99 minutes of pure, uncut, china white, straight-to-the-vein AWESOME.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
A girl with a fucking machine gun on her arm kills the shit out of everyone.
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Top Pee-Wee
Goddammit he's not supposed to have a sex drive what the fuck
INSTANT REVIEW: Religulous
Guy being interviewed: "I believe in God"
Bill Maher: "AH HA HA LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!"
INSTANT REVIEW: The Good, The Bad, The Weird
Like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly except with Koreans in 1930s Manchuria and not actually much like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. If I had to choose one part of the title to review it I'd go with The Weird.
INSTANT REVIEW: Moon
Kicks ass. See it if it comes to your neighborhood.