INSTANT REVIEW : Closer
A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.
Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zeitgeist
Absolute crap
>>290
Actually I would have said "WTF" but still
CAPTCHA: renass
INSTANT REVIEW: Up
good kids movie
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Trouble in Little China
99 minutes of pure, uncut, china white, straight-to-the-vein AWESOME.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
A girl with a fucking machine gun on her arm kills the shit out of everyone.
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Top Pee-Wee
Goddammit he's not supposed to have a sex drive what the fuck
INSTANT REVIEW: Religulous
Guy being interviewed: "I believe in God"
Bill Maher: "AH HA HA LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!"
INSTANT REVIEW: The Good, The Bad, The Weird
Like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly except with Koreans in 1930s Manchuria and not actually much like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. If I had to choose one part of the title to review it I'd go with The Weird.
INSTANT REVIEW: Moon
Kicks ass. See it if it comes to your neighborhood.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Cove
Higurashi IRL
INSTANT REVIEW: Lesbian Vampire Killers
Contains Lesbian Vampires. And people who kill them. And lots of british absurd humor. Funny movie. Also, NOT porn, sorry. Good surprise overall.
>>300 did not review 300 the movie. I am kinda disappointed, Couch Potato.
INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome
James Woods with the worst haircut in cinematic history goes batshit insane.
INSTANT REVIEW: District 9
Indie Scifi movie that turns into a poorly written action flick halfway through. Also, Pig Gibs.
INSTANT REVIEW: Adventureland
Emo Boy meets Emo Girl who bangs Married Rockstar secretely who cockblocks Ignorant Emo Boy followed by more cheesy drama and a farfatched happy ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: HANNAH MONTANA the Movie
Do I even need to say it?
INSTANT REVIEW: 2012: The Odyssey
The exemplar of New Age movies. Pure naivete and cheesiness. (Skip it)
INSTANT REVIEW : Timecrimes
Pretty good despite the obvious paradoxes.
casablanca
Studly Bogart helps his Ex escape nazi controlled africa after a SHITLOAD of flashbacks
INSTANT REVIEW: Murder By Death
Frequently stupid. Sparsely humorous. Entirely nonsensical.
...
Brilliant!
INSTANT REVIEW: The Legend of Zorro
They should have called it Everybody Loves Zorro.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW[/b]: At Land (1944)
Nice unless you try to analyse it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Good (2008)
Depressing as fuck. Bad acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Postmen in the Mountains (那山那人那狗, 1999)
What I expected: The exotic mystery of the Orient.
What I got: A heartwarming tale of a postman's life
INSTANT REVIEW: IZO
Japanese director on acid tries to wrap philosophy in a splatter movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: M
If you don't love this movie you might not even be human.
The 1931 German one, the 1951 American one, or the 2007 Korean drama?
INSTANT REVIEW: Oh, God!
Quaint folksy tale wherein George Burns reads lines off a cue card.
Addendum: When I said James Woods had the worst haircut in cinematic history, it was only because I was unaware John Denver had ever starred in a movie. I now stand corrected.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek
Somehow this didn't trip my nerd rage-o-meter. It may be watered down, but it's not a bad movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Inglorious Basterds
Jews are so great, Hitler sux XD.
INSTANT REVIEW: Funny People
One of Adam Sandler's better movies. But not as funny as the name implies.
INSTANT REVIEW: Once Upon a Time in the West
I hate westerns, actually I never watched one, find them too boring. But this movie is amazing, completely changes my opinion of westerns.
INSTANT REVIEW: Coraline
Gorgeous visuals, cute characters, but the plot feels like a tech demo, or a video game really. If you liked Avatar you may like this. Main character is quite fappable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Traxx (1988)
You know what I think of your cookies?
<10 second fart>
That's what I think of your cookies!
INSTANT REVIEW: Avatar
I am getting in the habit of writing instant reviews in this thread for movies that everyone has already seen.
INSTANT REVIEW: Where The Wild Things Are (2010)
What the fuck, this is a kid's movie, why are you beating the shit out of each other?
INSTANT REVIEW: Farewell Space Battleship Yamato
GLORIOUS NIPPON BANZAI!!!!1
Lord of War
Arms trade and corruption.
INSTANT REVIEW: Summer Wars
zomg such an awesome movie. Too much Internet though
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hurt Locker
angry man, reckless man and black man combine forces to disarm shit. thats fucking IT
INSTANT REVIEW: Iron Man 2
Man goes through process metaphorical to mid-life crisis, finds new hobby.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hard Candy
Tender teenage girl goes psycho on ambivalent pedophile. GOES HARD!! YAAAY.
INSTANT REVIEW: INCEPTION
Groups goes into a dream of a dream of a dream to plant idea. MIND BLASTING!
INSTANT REVIEW: TOY STORY 3
Evil fucking stuffed bear rules daycare center with an iron fist. Has an SS crew of nazi henchmen. Sid is the trash truck driver at the end. If you cry when Andy gives the toys to Molly, you're gay!
Also, Woody talks to Sid but not Andy in the third movie? What the fuck gives man!
Should have been Rated PG.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE
Two chicks and a guy. Eating shit is involved. The guys from Lexx are in it. They are making a second one with twelve people...I hope its the cast of Serenity and they all die.
INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS 2
Micheal Bay put nigger robots in the movie. Shit gets blown up. Wait for ABC Family to show it.
>> 339
Oh wait...Andy gave the toys to BONNIE...Molly is Andy's little bitch sister. Thankfully, he didn't give her jack shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: CUBE
People stuck inside a Rubik's cube. Turns out it is harder to solve from the inside. Did you know there are traps and shit in there?
INSTANT REVIEW: BOXING HELENA
Psycho doctor cuts off chick's arms and legs he's in love with. Turns out she wanted to fuck him after all.
INSTANT REVIEW: 2012
Big budget tin foil hat film. Three hours of my life I'll never get the fuck back!!!
YES...I said THREE HOURS.
INSTANT REVIEW: AVATAR
Anti-war movie. Republicans are bad. Aliens and Christianity. Oh, and save the planet, fuck the whales, all that shit. Special effects look like a 1st year Flash programmer student's work.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pi
Mathematician discovers the secret of the Universe, and goes mad. Accompanied by lots of electronic music.
INSTANT REVIEW: PULSE
The world becomes a radio-wave graveyard. My head was pulsing after watching pulse.
INSTANT REVIEW: AVATAR
An alien movie in 3D!!! OMG!! James Cameron wipes his shit onto film and shows the reels to the idiot masses.
INSTANT REVIEW: ALICE IN WONDERLAND (LATEST REMAKE)
A long and boring Tim Burton movie with..gasp...Johnny Depp yet again.
INSTANT REVIEW: TOMB RAIDER
A very bad action movie with a hot chick with nice tits, nasty tats and a fake accent. Based on some shitty video game that is so bad people won't bother torrenting the damn thing.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES
Sylvester Stallone making a movie showing how he is not old. Lots of explosions. Lots of big name action actors. No nudity and no sex. I want to be Jason Statham when I grow up!
INSTANT REVIEW: Inception
A lot of people dreaming about dreams until the main character wakes up at the end, revealing the whole movie was a dream.
INSTANT REVIEW: GRAN TORINO
No one gave two fucks about the Hmong people on 4-ch or 4chan until this shitty Clint Eastwood movie came out about a fucking car he never drove yet he kept washing it while he kept fixing shit around his and the next door neighbors house. Puts a positive spin on racism.
INSTANT REVIEW: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
A 90 minute music video with several pop rock songs and dead zombie fuckers trying to eat people's brains.
INSTANT REVIEW: I Still Believe In Zeus
That sure was an indie documentary. The best part was the pagan festival footage, Greeks know how to have a good time.
INSTANT REVIEW: FIEND WITHOUT A FACE
Movie about a non-mad scientist who creates evil brains that eat people with just his thoughts. Kinda of a backward zombie movie. Instead of zombies eating brains, it is brains eating people!
INSTANT REVIEW: PRETTY BABY
Pedobear takes up photography in early 20th century New Orleans.
INSTANT REVIEW: REPO MEN
Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker repo body parts from deadbeats who can't pay for them until Jude Law gets an artificial heart and gets a conscience about killing people. Has an M. Night Shalamon ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: KILLERS
Ashton Kutcher and Tom Sellick are ex-spies trying to kill each other because Katherine Heigl was dumped by a geeky nerd.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zardoz
The penis is evil.
INSTANT REVIEW: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
Cute movie. That "fuck" scene definitely is a classic.
INSTANT REVIEW: The King's Speech
King George wasn't treated nicely as a kid and developed a bad stutter. His speech pathologist helps him speak in public and they became friends.
INSTANT REVIEW: Prom Night in Missippi
integrated prom doesnt work because they have to play both white and black music
Japanese Porno movie App for Android[free]
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I am Japanese
The force required to protect the lives of the world world
Please help! There is little time remaining
Nuclear power plant in Fukushima, Japan is highly toxic plutonium around the world, strontium, iodine, threatened the health of people scattered cesium
Despite the radioactive material is scattered around the globe with just a single point of meltdown in the region of Japan
Japan, now lets spread radioactive material world of dark debris caked all over again in all 47 locations across the country!
Thank you, the government and the press
INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome
Surreal body horror mixed with social commentary. Starting half is well-paced and full of interesting content, ending half becomes a fairly generic horror slug-fest. "The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye"
INSTANT REVIEW: Being John Malkovich
Mix of drama and comedy in a refreshingly unpredictable script. A tad too lighthearted for my tastes
INSTANT REVIEW: Sonatine
Kitano makes a slow good movie about nothing.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Lost Boys (3-4/5)
Well plotted vampire flick with dual romance/humor plots. Kind of like the goonies crossed with the wild one, the teenage rebellion stylizations really add to the film.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hatchet (2/5)
Forgettable piece of shit where the best part of the film is when the characters aren't talking about the plot. Some very funny opening humor that eventually grinds down to your run-of-the-mill slasher. The film doesn't take itself very seriously, but with such monotonous plot development it's hard to think how the audience could take it any other way. Not worth your time after the first 30 minutes unless you just really dig gore
>>165
I just wanted to say thank you to >>165
Because of his review I found out about this great movie and watched it... From the first moment the movie started, with somebody in a bathtub, blood running down their forehead, and a bathroom with green (green like mold - think barton fink) tiles -- I knew that movie was for me.
INSTANT REVIEW: Alien Nation (2-3/5)
Take an interesting idea, make it as cliche and sterile as possible, add a bunch of assholes, and Whadda ya get? A shitty film where the lead is so old even running for three minutes seems to give him heart problems
Seriously, you should have seen that schmuck clutch at his chest
Instant review: The Tree Of Life (5/5)
This movie is the greatest one ever I have seen!
First of all, I was astonished by many brilliant scenes in the movie. There are beautiful trees, mountains, stories. people, scene under water, pictures of space and flowers. It is very nice!
At the second, this story is great. It contains the theme of job in bible. It is true I had not been familiar with bible, but through watching it, I was moved by great story.
This movie is great. You have to watch it!
INSTANT REVIEW: Troll hunter (4/5)
it's not profound, but at least it's entertaining. Documentary-style execution and subtle humour make it worthwhile.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fall of the House of Usher (4/5)
Maintains a tight gothic atmosphere, if a little on the melodramatic side. It's an old movie, but certainly holds its own. Vincent price is so good you can't help but smile
INSTANT REVIEW:13 Assassins (4/5)
Doesn't throw any surprises, but executes the concept well. It's a long and tedious wind-up to the action, but once there the battle sequences deserve real praise. Historical detail is also praiseworthy
INSTANT REVIEW: A State of Mind (4/5)
Despite clearly looking right at the Party minders standing behind the cameramen, this documentary about two North Korean gymnasts adds some humanity to the DPRK. There is also excellent high quality footage of the rarely-seen mass games.
Also, power outages are America's fault, apparently.
INSTANT REVIEW: Crossing the Line (4/5)
The story of James Dressnock, the last US defector to North Korea still living there today. A dropout with little future in America, he became a movie star in the DPRK.
Movie stars live in dank two bedroom apartments in the workers' paradise, it turns out.
Mutual understanding between the traditional culture of Korea through "Hanmadang Korea Festival (Festival-Korea Exchange)" was held at Seoul City Hall Plaza on April 25. This year is the seventh is "Ganbare Nippon! Korea Thank you!", Entitled to the gratitude and support for large earthquakes East Korea, was held on the theme of encouragement to affected areas.
The event will be rushed on the stage, Masatoshi Muto, Japanese ambassador "after large earthquakes East was able to overcome the difficulties with the warm attention of the Korean people. I want to thank on behalf of the Japanese people" and conveyed his appreciation. Citizens gathered at the square Muto ambassador applauded the encouragement.
To console the souls of the victims of the earthquake also, Sarupuri (derived from folk dances of exorcism ritual) is showing off his dance Sarupuri Kimurihe virtuoso. Approximately 20,000 citizens of Korea and traditional dance performances, Hanbok (traditional Korean costume) and a kimono dressing, etc., enjoyed a variety of events.
Japan continued to dance such as the Mr. Morioka, dance team, Fukushima nuclear power plant damaged in an accident due to earthquakes and tsunamis, "Hula Girls" showed off the hula. In addition, the booth in Fukushima Prefecture "has overcome great adversity with the help of the Korean people" was the banner that says 掲Ge.
Culture, Sports and Tourism Ministry (the equivalent of saving) light-sik Choi (Cheguanshiku) ministers also attended "The Japanese people want you to lose courage and hope," was greeted with.
Fukushima Prefecture's participation Kishitakashi (44) "very much the support of South Korea, are working hard to recover. Fukushima, South Korea's support and compassion always answer someday," he said.
Also, I visited the site Shinsunuon (39), "Korea and Japan have also faced dissension, I think relations are inseparable. Of Korea supported the distress experienced the earthquake in Japan I want much attention not forget, "he said.
New!
Please spread.Japan and Korea issues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaOCQ9AQyP0&feature=player_detailpage
INSTANT REVIEW: Gattaca (4/5)
Sci-fi drama regarding the pitfalls of genetic engineering. A fairly uncomplicated plot, but with moving drama. Hollywood fare done right
Also features a superb soundtrack
INSTANT REVIEW: Blue Velvet (4/5)
One of the most-talked about Lynch films also happens to be one of his most mundane. Interesting enough, but often feels a little bland.