( ´ω`) I killed them damn YANKS on the beaches with my bear hands

( ・-・) 100ge- aw, fuckyfuck

( ^ω^)

( ´ω`) PENIS DENIS OH MAN

(・∀・) Grandpa, when you REEEALLY have to pee, and you can't get to a toilet, how do you prefer to walk? The crab walk, or the penguin waddle?

( ´ω`) If I really have to pee, I pee. It doesn't matter if I'm walking or not, I can't stop it anyway.

(・∀・) Grandpa, remember when we England Your England?

( ´ω`) Yes.

(・∀・) What's your favourite sexual position

( ´ω`) I poop into her butthole and then she poops it back into my butthole, and then we'll just keep doing it back and forth with the same poop forever. Pooping back and forth forever.

( ´ω`) Actually, I really like reverse cowgirl. All the impersonal mechanical fun of doggy style with the added bonus that she does all the work.

( ´０`) is the pooping thing even possible

( ´ω`) If you have to ask the question you already know the answer.

(・∀・) ..

( ´ω`) !!

(・∀・) Have you ever cheated on grandma?

( ´ω`) Which grandma?

(・∀・) Grandpa, what does an orgasm feel like?

(・∀・) And come, tell me, Sean O'Farrell, tell me why you hurry so?

( ・-・) Don't you have pills to take?

(・∀・) Grandpa, we haven't had any knew characters in our threads for awhile have our writers run out of ideas.

( ´ω`) Writers? What do you think you had for dinner last night? Sure wasn't takeout from Rei's.

( ঁωঁ) Hello, hello, goodbye and hello again. What's happening, friends? The writers sent me in.

(・∀・) Grandpa, newguy, is it just me or is the Elitist Superstructure crumbling from the inside? I haven't been able to access it properly for weeks I mean days. Also, my vericode was soy.

( ´ω`) When I was your age, we had carrier pigeons deliver Elitist Superstructure business and dammit, we enjoyed the substantial packet loss.

( ´ω`) Well, package loss, as the case was. A lot of doobies we won’t be gettin’ back any time soon....

( ´ω`) ... where am I?

(・∀・) HELL.

( ঁωঁ ) So what do you folks do 'round here?

( ঁ ω ঁ ) Wait...what's happening here?

( ঁ ω ঁ ) HELP ME.

( 　　　　´　ω　`　) It's natural. Just let the tanasinn flow.

( 　　ঁ　　ᴥ　　ঁ　　)　Ah OK... merci beaucoup . Alors qu'est-ce que vous faites pendant votre temps libre ?

{ 　　ঁ　　ᴥ　　ঁ　　}　RÉPONDEZ À LA QUESTION GROS CON.

( ´ω`) Get him out of here. Or i'll get the blunderbluss.

{# 　　´ঁ´　　　ᴥ　　　ঁ　　　*}　Hasn't anyone told you blunderblusses are extinct?

{ 　#　´ঁ´　@　　ᴥ　　%　ঁ　*　　}　Fuck, I keep corrupting.

(・∀・)　...

(・∀・)　I'm still here by the way...

(・∀・)　Why has this beast stolen my role, Grandpa?

( ´ω`) Your pretty little head isn't made for thinking, darling. If you behave yourself I'll let your pull the car out of the drive way just this once.

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you remember
　　　　　　　　　　　ＴＨＥ　ＮＩＧＨＴ
　　　　　　　　　　　ＴＨＥＹ　ＤＲＯＶＥ
　　　　　　　　　　　ＯＬＤ　ＤＩＸＩＥ
　　　　　　　　　　　ＤＯＷＮ?

( ´ω`) Yes, but more importantly do you remember
　　　　　　　　　　　ＴＨＥ　ＮＩＧＨＴ
　　　　　　　　　　　Ｉ　ＤＲＯＶＥ　ＭＹ
　　　　　　　　　　　ＯＬＤ　ＤＩＸＩＥ
　　　　　　　　　　　ＤＯＷＮ　ＩＮＴＯ　ＹＯＵ?

(・∀・) Grandpa, when are we all going South to Dixieland?

(・∀・) Grandpa, is it true that if you were a bad person in life and you die, they send you back to Junior High?

( ´ω`) Falling in love with girls 11 inches taller than you... dealing with puberty and how everyone but you benefits from it... yup, that sounds about right.

(・∀・) Grandpa, is this your way of telling me you're a hormonally-imbalanced midget?

(・∀・) Why is it always the shit you have to slap outta me? Can't you just smack the tar out of me or something?

( ´ω`) Alright, that does it. You're getting too fresh with me, kiddo.

(・∀・) I'm glad the violence is only TV violence

( ´ω`) Our lives are a paradoxial combination of a true reality show and fake real lives.

(・∀・) Grandpa, Do You Remember Love?

( ´ω`) Junior, one day you will take over the family business of piloting Super Dimension Fortresses. Until then, I suggest we leave this talk for another time.

(・∀・) Grandpa, did you know Waruta Kuronkaito?

( ´ω`) If that pinko wanted North Vietnam to win so bad, he should’ve just given them a flat-out endorsement on TV.

( ´ω`) ...oh right.

(・∀・) Grandpa, what happened to Grandma?

　@@@@
@( ´Д`)@ Do you have to ask every thread? Gosh, you are so needy, dammit!

(・∀・) Of course, Grandma! I am forgetful, just like your husband!

( ´ω`) Who the hell is that hag?

( ´ω`) Baggy Tits? Where have you been all these years?

　@@@@
@( ´Д`)@ Somewhere you can't see me. Such as directly behind you, for starters.

( ´ω) Ahahaha, you know I never look over ther( ´ﾟωﾟ) RAGH

( ´ﾟωﾟ`)

(・∀・) Grandpa, there is Lightning over the Tatras!

(・∀・) and hailstorms in the Cascades!

(・∀・) WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

(・∀・) Grandpa, after a lengthy discussion with the writing team, we've decided that we're going to recast you. To freshen up the character, you know, bring the story to a new generation. We'd like it if you left peacefully, but you should know, security IS present. Choose your words and actions carefully.

(・∀・) That went well.

（　｀ハ´） There is no skill Grandfather possesses that I cannot replicate. Bear witness.

（　｀ﾟハﾟ´）

（　｀ハ´） Now it is clear that I am the only acceptable choice for this position.

（　｀ハ´）? ... Oh dear! Ahem.

（　｀ハ´） Before the advent of electronic networking, most information was shared and archived in written form.

（　｀ハ´） As for the dispersion of information and long-distance communicati--
-voot-
( ・ハ・) Beady's a fag
-voot-
（　｀ハ´） ...as I was saying...

（　｀ハ´） But first, allow me to detail my musical inspirations.

( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Hi I'm Mittens, the mittens enthusiast. I like kittens and bacon cheeseburgers and being a cocktease and shit like that!

( ﾟ -ﾟ) I can also do this face.

（　｀ハ´） HOWEVER! My personal style is not purely modern; I was undoubtedly influenced by the distinguished composers of my youth. Beethoven, Bach, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Schumann, Liszt. All names with which I am sure you've become familiar. Yet, the true nuance in my work comes not from these great men, but from the lesser known artists of the time, such as--
-voot-
( ・ハ・) Cocks
-voot-
（　｀ハ´） How dare you?!

-voot-
（　｀ω´） Now what have you done? Aiyah, Junior!
-voot-
（　´ω｀） Hello kids!

( ﾟ ｍﾟ) I'm not into the whole sudden transformation thing.

(・∀・) I'm not into YOUR FACE

(・∀・) If I can sell my shotgun ammo and make enough room for a rocket launcher I can...

（　｀ハ´） No! I will not give up my lifelong dream of replacing my longtime nemesis and ruining his life so soon!
-voot-
( ・-・) what

(・∀・) Hey, it's some new guy that looks, sounds, and acts exactly like Grandpa! You're hired!