I tell people I love cooking. I guess I say it to look cool, and it is partly true - I do enjoy making things, and I especially love to cook for friends.

But when I'm alone, it's a complete lie. I hate cooking. I hate how my back aches as I hunch over the kitchen counter that's too short. I hate how much time it takes to peel and cut vegetables, how inefficient the whole process feels. I hate how your hands constantly get dirty, forcing you to either constantly wash them or operate on everything with your pinky. I hate that it takes four times as long to cook as it does to eat. I hate the volume of dish-washing required of a single meal. I hate that eating healthily requires far more time and money than eating unhealthily. I hate that you have to use produce before it goes bad. I hate that you have to go shopping every week. And I hate that all the energy and effort you put into making a single dish vanishes in an instant.

Call me spoiled, but if I ever get filthy rich the first thing I'm doing is hiring a goddamn cook.