Say... Could you tell me the name of the best movie ever?
It was like a nigger... Only slightly less niggery.
How was your date with the affluent black professional?
Because of all the added sugar. That's what gives you pimples, too.
Why do I get so hyper after eating out my 9 year old daughter?
It was apparently because the probe was touching it, which was enough to cause it to malfunction occasionally. Such a minute detail being the cause kind of annoys me, but I'm just glad it's sorted out.
Why exactly did our ENTIRE empire crash under the influence of a mere rabbit, duck, and bald idiot with a shotgun?
You mustn't have fed him enough carrots. The excess tends to go straight to his bulbous thighs.
why does my rabbit appear non-rabbit-like?
That would have happened if the Playstation 3 sold as quickly as the Wii.
Sup bitches, dis Big Papi Chad Warden here. I can't believe dat da Wii is tryin'a say it's better when its controller looks like a DIL-DOE. You think dat PS TRIPLE woulda done somethin so gay?
She lives in her big sister's shirt.
What happened to my pet mosquito?
That happens when all your base and snakes on a plane combine.
Randy Constan ate my balls. Why, god? Why?
A triple-word score.
What do scrabble addicts brag about
Battleshits world champion.
If you could transform, what would you become?
Her midriff.
What is the most erotic part of a female?
Macaroni and cheese.
What does the discharge smell like?
A thimble is good for that.
I want to try sticking something in my urethra while masturbating. Any suggestions?
I would never do something like that.
Ever moon the president of the USA?
Living on video.
Who the hell fooked up the thread?
You better BUST THAT if you gon' pull that.
There is a lever; what do I do?
Final Fantasy 9
Which video game had the worst minigame ever?
I found it in a dumpster.
Where did you get your mittens?
Tubular!
How does a surfer explain pipes?
Greatest application of duct tape outside ducts.
I taped my friends mouth shut with ducttape is this awesoem y/n
He created the Sonic 1 Beta Hoax. Also, he doesn't afraid of anything.
Who the fuck is Cyan Helkaraxe and why is he playing chicken in the middle of the street in front of my house?
Five times, maximum.
How many times can I be hit with a sledgehammer before getting permanent brain injury?
Mariko Morikawa.
Hey, who was that one Japanese chick with the MASSIVE HOONS?
At least it's not mittens again.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Orange you glad I didn't say "Who's there?"
I suggest you take one suitcase packed with nothing but toothbrushes.
I'm going to prison, and I want to corner the market on improvised shivs. Any suggestions?
It all went downhill after I said "What's crack-a-lackin', mah nigga?"
So how did your interview with Bill O'Reilly go?
Beets are the worst vegetable on the planet.
What's the best source of organic perfume?
There's something about the shape of the coke bottle that speaks to me.
How on Earth did you get that stuck THERE?
It's like coffee, but better.
What's your opinion of morning blowjobs?
I have to admit, that was actually a really nice use of the Tannerin.
So when Doraemon stopped and shouted "Don't think, feel!" what was your reaction?
Itty bitty baby, itty bitty boat.
What is, in your opinion, the most important thing one must habeeb in their life?
Well, it started out good, got really horrible in the middle, then got good again, but then it was over.
So how did your statement-against-society self immolation go?
It takes a lot of practice, but once you finally get the hang of it, you realize that it was really nothing special.
What does OO programming have in common with giving rimjobs?
No, thank you; I am far too old for those sorts of shenanigans.
Voulez-vous couche avec moi?
It makes you sneeze out of your ass.
What happens when I eat yams?
Soybeans are used as a substitute for certain foods, so what substitutes real soybeans?
Can you please answer this question with another question?
They are a substitute for real soybeans.
What are fake soybeans for?
Pink, high and mittens.
Wait, why aren't you throwing away all of these styrofoam packing peanuts?
At first I was really scared, but then I relaxed after I realized it was opposite day.
What's my favorite Andrew Bird song?
A movie montage of interstate highways.
What's the best visual accompaniment to a medley of Eagles hits?
I tell ya, you haven't lived until you've tasted that sweet, sweet flavor.
So I heard you ate out a dolphin yesterday. How did that go?
Rank leaders, reminder: 100 sterilized credits permits non-mechanical reproduction simulation.
Friend Computer, how can I get a blow-up doll for my troops?
I didn't know she wasn't Polish.
Do you have any idea why you are in prison now?!
Somebody got that idea from the Nerd/Otaku thread.
If I were to raise the money to fund a team of scientists and programmers to develop a highly advanced, sentient AI which could sort my collection of Ayanami Rei images, do you think that would be faster than sorting it manually?
That was part of their campaign against tobacco.
Why do the British call cigarettes "fags"?
That is why the newest Nissan GT-R is hideous looking, and lacks an inline 6 engine.
Wait, you mean Nissan managed to hire Miyamoto away from Nintendo?
He eats more Pocky than Mizuho.
Where the hell does his paycheck go every week?
Because you spent all your money on 1-900 sex lines.
Why does it always seem like I'll never be able to afford a fleshlight?
I'm done! I've had it with your stupid questions! GO AWAY!
Are you gay?
The double standard on toilet humor.
Do Christians like Bonfire Night because it involves burning faggots?
You must be a complete loser.
Didn't you know I just spent half the whole Sunday trying to perform a backflip on a trampoline?
I swear WORLD-1 is a good name for a wrestling stable! No doubt about it!
Is WORLD-1 a good name for a wrestling stable?
Yes.
why is she such a slut?
you shouldn't buy things with money.
Yo im gonna buy things with money
Because according to the famous musician it is the greatest way to live and I trust that fucker.
Excuse me while I kiss the sky?
The soon to be released videogame "Anaru Densetsu"
What are you going to put in your butt this Saturday?
It's extreme.
What did Soulja Boy buy when he was in Japan?
That's a gundam, not a transformer.
I played CRASH DUMMIES on SNES today.
Seriously, it's Daft Punk.
What group had that Galaxy Express 999 tribute?
If a Blu-Ray disc was the diameter of a Laser Disc, how much data could it hold?
I am tempted to say over 9000 but instead i say Canada!
and your doing it wrong.
-Viewers please skip this reply-
DQNDQNLOL?
No, you may not pass through here.
So have you heard about the Internet Crusade against Scientology?
1-5-0 yen for crying out loud.
Yes, your Japanese whores are very attractive. However, I have a rape fantasy. How much extra do I have to pay and what will they do to accommodate my fantasy?
No, FIRST they saw me rolling, Then they began hating. Shortly thereafter, they started patrolling, and finally, they proceeded in their attempt to catch me riding dirty.
Hey, is it true you got a ticket for having sex with a 7 year old while driving?
Only when I'm feeling bored.
How do the interweb have babies?
No you only get one when dress like an bear then cops will ticketed you.
What happened to the Panda threads?
crossing the streams with ghostbuster's equipment causes that.
Why has the price of marshmallows dropped so low, and is it related to a third of New York City residents having been diagnosed with diabetes?
Forty rods to the hogshead.
How many rods to the hogshead?
How dare you.
How many penises does an octopus have?
Birds.
What is the words?
It was after my second packet of blueberry poptarts when I first noticed.
Did you notice a sign in front of my house that said "Dead Sonic Cultfag storage"?
Touhou hijack lol
Pettan, pettan, tsurepettan?
We were attacked by a dfc the size of Akiba.
I herd there was some excitement at the Macross Frontier screening last night, what happened?
Well, you have to make sure the lid is on tight, cuz you sure as hell don't want it leaking while you've got it up there.
Boy, it sure is hard being a grave digger. Alright, >>577, will you maneuver the crane to pick up the coffin?
No, I'm afraid torrenting is bad for the environment.
Don't you think you should download some movies to watch on your Hummer's backseat entertainment system?
Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that meddling Shigeru Miyamoto!
Weren't you the chap trying to release an original Nintendo game last year?
I do not normally draw anime because I am not a faggot.
You draw some good looking comic strips. Ever consider anime?
It is a vortex of space and time, opened up by that kind of thinking.
Whenever I think about Sylphiel from Slayers, my sweatpants bulge out, just under the waistline. What the hell?
It all started when I brought home that stray cat.
How... exactly does one end up as a furry, anyway?
You freak, pickles are for EATING, not... that.
...so anyway, LONG story short, I'm banned from the supermarket now. Is that fair?
Because we're out of lightbulbs, genius.
Damn, this hot wax is dripping all over my hands. Why am I holding this "genuine mystical voodoo candle" again?
Well, all I know is that I wouldn't be seen in public with that thing on.
Damn, wouldn't you like to try on that invisibility cloak?
The anime for that will be released this December.
Can I interest you in a free copy of The Turner Diaries?
When did the "time travel" thread jump the shark?
No, my arse still hasn't quite been able to heal from last time.
Can I spend some quality time with you?
It's questions like that which cause me to laugh at people with faith in humanity.
So, do you think the people in Romance will ever actually be not ronery?
You're one hundred years too young to challenge me, pup.
(・∀・) I think it's time for you to stop making threads, Grandpa!
I'm pretty sure that that is NOT what a speculum is supposed to be used for.
Can you take a look up my nose and tell me if you see my brain?
A solid gold, diamond encrusted atomic bomb.
What would be America's secret weapon if it had a black president?
Oral-B Advantage Glide Whitening for superior toothbrushing.
AAAAAH! A SHARK JUST BIT OFF MY LEG! IT'S COMING BACK FOR MORE! OH GOD, I CAN SEE ITS BLOODY TEETH! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
IT'S IN THE SHARK'S STOMACH WITH MY LEG
Where is your new Oral-B Advantage Glide Whitening toothbrush?
Kingdom of Loathing.
I'm looking for something to do that will help me kill a few hours each day without actually making me feel any less board. Any ideas?
Second door on the left.
I'm looking for something to do that will help me kill a few hours each day without actually making me feel any less bored. Any ideas?
Well no SHIT she's your mother; that's why I did it.
щ(`Д´щ) WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY did you send pictures of your penis to my mother?
Second star on the right, then keep on until morning.
Man, I wanna stay up all night doing coke with Robert Downey, Jr. How would you suggest I go about this?
Because he dropped the fucking database AGAIN.
Why is my DBZ hentai page giving me 404s?
Well, you've just answered your own question.