>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.
>>206 can forever remain indoors for his/her body produces its own source of vitamin D.
>>207 can smile indefinitely without any discomfort, soreness, or pain
>>210
can change the wavelength of individual photons with their mind.
>>216 can make anyone say the word "neutrinos" out loud once every thirty minutes.
>>218 can change their flight path mid-fall through the rapid fire clenching and unclenching of their buttocks
>>225 can convince anybody that the voice on the TV is Robin Williams, no matter who it is.
>>228 can grow lunch lady arms and use them as retractable wings.
>>233 can transform quartz watches into mechanical watches and vice versa.
After the DVD format completely took over, >>235 mastered setting the clock used on VCRs.
>>237 can learn a person's deepest secrets by listening to them yodel.
>>238 knows the answers to questions immediately after they are relevant.
>>239 can tell if one is laying about whether they ate breakfast or not.
>>241 can temporarily access the full content of any book by ritually burning it.
>>244 can transmute used girls' underwear into pudding. The frillier the underwear, the sweeter the pudding.
>>247 instantly knows the exact volume of gas expelled every time someone farts nearby.
When seperated from his body, >>248's hair turns into spaghetti.
Whenever >>251 looks through a microscope, any living organism on the slide is instantly killed.
>>252 has to wear rad shades just like Scott Summers, but his eyes are only powerful enough for a laser pointer.
>>253 can make people in his presence slightly more predisposed to losing track of what time it is.
When playing Tetris, >>254 on average receives more squares and lines and fewer of the awkward shapes.
>>255 can sense the direction of the nearest sandwich, but not the distance.
>>256 involuntarily attracts moths in the same manner as a bright light.
>>257 knows how many brushes are in the world at any given time
>>258 attracts 1.5 times as many dwarves per migration wave in Dwarf Fortress.
>>261 can shapeshift into another version of himself that differs only in having a moustache.
>>266 can identify the exact temperature of butter from fifty feet away
>>267 can choose between skunk, dead fish, and rotten egg scents for his farts at will.
>>268 can telekinetically completely excise cancerous tumours, leaving no trace - but only if the patient is already dead.
>>271 can tell with 100% accuracy whether a post on the internet is sarcastic or not, but only if he never replies to it.
>>272 can turn any of their body parts into stone permanently
>>273 can transmute organic chemistry textbooks into inorganic chemistry textbooks and vice versa.
Thanks to >>274's high vitamin K levels, their wounds heal slightly faster than is usual.
If >>278 maintains skin contact with a person, they become unable to solve differential equations.
>>279 can digest their food 2 seconds faster if it was distributed by a company that begins with the letter X
>>281 can make penises run out of jizz twice as fast as normal
>>282 can make authority figures run out of patience twice as fast as normal.
if >>283 concentrates hard enough he can turn a casette tape into "in the aeroplane over the sea" for a short period of time, this power was really useful and would have saved the world in the 90s before he was born.
>>284 can change into a cute loli at will, but will always get fucked by a horse
>>288 can make any carbonated beverage go flat simply by looking at it.
>>289 can make himself irresistibly seductive to Polynesian investment bankers.
>>291 can left click by winking his left eye, right click by winking his right eye, and scroll by picking his nose.
When >>292 attempts to impersonate Sean Connery, he sounds just like Bane.
>>296 Has always been able to predict that some bullshit financing scheme will be created, and it will fuck up the economy, but the can't tell what that scheme is, or when that scheme unravels.
>>297 is always able to retain the ability to know what day of the week it is during long periods of unemployment