>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.
Pocket calculators in >>300's possession work 1.5 times as fast.
At will, >>301 can cause his digestive system to push waste and food matter in the opposite direction for twelve hours.
>>302's nose hair, if pulled out and braided together, can function as an ethernet cable.
>>304 can change his facial features to those of Beavis or Butt-head at will.
>>308
Can transform 100 pennies into a dollar bill within 10 feet of an open bank.
>>311 has laser vision, but instead of firing out of his eyes the lasers fire into them, blinding him.
>>318 can grow armpit hair at will, but can't retract it back.
>>319 can smoke cigarettes without getting cancer, but was born with AIDs
>>321 can predict the future with perfect accuracy, but if he ever lets that knowledge influence his speech or actions in any degree, the future changes.
>>323 Can have anything he wants, so long as the item makes his life more miserable.
>>324 can enlarge penises at the cost of deadening their nerves for the duration of the enlargement.
>>326 can sort an array of integers in O(1) time, but they have to represent the number of apes in africa
>>329 can think of the funniest jokes but only after they've been broadcasted on TV.
>>332 Can detected if someone has PTSD by using the sound of bombs exploding loudly.
>333
Can induce PTSD using bombs.
>>335 can accurately measure the temperature of a flame by holding his hand over it for at least 30 seconds.
>>336 is a master of any instrument not in the same room as him.
>>337 can understand any language, but can only communicate by way of drum solo.
>>339 Can turn his blood into wine, but only while its in his body, and only in quantities of one liter at a time.
>>340 can shoot with extreme precision, but only when firing at 8-year olds.
>>341 is a master of knife combat, but only with butter knifes.
>>344 can melt ice by staring at it for long enough in a warm room.
>>348 can shapeshift into a small pebble at will. He cannot shapeshift back into a human, however.
>>350 can teleport anywhere without atmosphere. He doesn't get to keep anything on him he wasn't born with.
>>351 can shoot laser beams from his eyes, but only if there are already laser beams of equal or greater intensity shining into his eyes.
>>352 can telepathically convey the exact time to any cat he looks into the eyes of.
>>353 can seduce a snake of any species. This ability may only be used once.
>>354 can arrange colours in order of their bit-shifted RGB value
>>355 can pass any Ishihara test with a perfect score, despite being severely colourblind.
>>356 can ossify all his cartilage in response to a high dose of radiation.
>>357 can hypnotize rats to make them hypnotize other rats. This is the only thing the rats can do.
>>358 can learn the exact location of a random fly somewhere within 5 miles by swallowing a live toad whole.
>>359
Can transform into a a toad. A normal toad. His mind, obviously, is also turned into that of the toad, since you could never fit a human brain in a toad body.
>>360
can change any kind of bread into any other kind of bread, just by touching it.
>>361 can figure the favorite cheese of any person by looking into their eyes for 5 minutes
>>362 can accurately predict the winner of previously recorded sports events
>>363 was born with the complete memory of his mother's life up to the point that he was born
When >>364 gets stung by a bee, his skin looks like he was stung by multiple bees.
>>365 can summon swarms of bees at will but they only sting him
>>366 is invisible and unhearable for 5 minutes after breaking any bone in his body
>>367 can convince anyone that she has superpowers, even though she doesn't.
>>369 can type at up to 140 words per minute only using his toes
>>370 can completely and permanently erase himself from existence at will.
>>377 can bring drawings to life, but only if they're drawings of flightless birds done entirely with 9XXB pencils.
>>379 can tell apart Heliconius melpomene and Heliconius erato from a kilometre away with perfect accuracy.
>>380 Knows how many factories are making awful products in China with an accuracy of +/- 5%.
>>382 causes pandas to spontaneously combust upon making eye contact with them.
>>384 emits a strong but nonspecific aura of shame and regret at all times.
>>385 can stop bullets with the power of his mind, but only ones aimed at his left foot.
>>386 can draw create artisic masterpieces, when drawing onto a mahogany desk with a pink crayon.
When >>387 photographs cats and uploads them to the internet, they are 20% more stupid than the average cat photo.
>>388 can insert spurious words in others' sentences so they look like resemble an editing mistake.
>>390 can use any computer's keyboard as if it were Dvorak-style.
>>391
Can give perfect advice to anyone who'll stubbornly refuse to listen to it.
>>392 can punch holes in paper using a stapler and staple paper together using a hole punch.
>>394 gains superhuman strength for 10 minutes when he sees a swan for the first time each year. It must be a real swan.
>>395 Can determine how much regular people will like a movie based on how much negative press the New York Times gives it.
>>396 can read people's minds, but only if they're thinking in a language he doesn't understand.