>>0 gets an honorary mention in nearly all ITT threads relating to the previous poster, despite never making a single contribution of his own.
>>402 can ask for extra green onion without being noticed by the cashier.
>>403 can walk at the exact speed of an alligator snapping turtle.
>>404
automatically knows the ending of any movie he's never seen before
>>405 gains five minutes of clairvoyance every time one of his limbs is amputated.
>>406 can predict if the person they're talking to is about to make a bad pun
>>407 can see through stained glass as though it was clear glass.
>>413 can pass any scholastic examination by learning the answers ahead of time.
>>414 has unbreakable blood. His skin and his blood vessels are normal, though.
>>415 farts noxious gas when somebody tries to grab him into a choke-hold.
>>416 can tell the exact day and time a carbonated beverage was canned
>>417 can tell the ingredients of shit, as long as it is between 3 and 4 weeks old.
>>418 fills his lungs with twice the carcinogens that a normal smoker fills their lungs with.
>>419 can accelerate plant growth by staring at it unblinking.
>>422 can manipulate the weak nuclear force in an area 1" around himself.
>>424 Can detect the most microscopic type of microaggression.
>>425 has the power to kill anybody he wants without getting caught as long as they are on their deathbed.
>>428 can use a dial-up internet connection and make a phone call on the same phone line at the same time
>>429 can infect himself with any deadly disease just by thinking about it.
>>430 can instantly calculate the number of anuses in any given space.
>>431 can predict whenever dubs will appear in a thread, though he never is the one to actually get the dubs.
>>434 can tell whether a food or drink is fairtrade or not by taste alone.
>>435 can lift all the crumbs from the carpet, but cannot transport them.
>>437 can sleep for days at a time, and still be tired when they wake up
>>439 can orient any USB cable the right way without looking 60% of the time.
>>442 can summon newborn puppies and make them do his bidding.
>>443 Can make a skunk spray its deadly odor without making it angry first.
>>444 can eat sewing needles without experiencing any adverse effects.
>>445 has the power to reserve a seat at any fast food restaurant, but only past 8 pm
>>449 can mimic the sound of a woodpecker by clicking his teeth together extremely fast.
>>450 can make predictions that are guaranteed to be wrong most of the time.
When walking barefoot on sand, >>451's footprints glow in the dark.
>>452 has a powerful gravitational field that only affects bird shit in a 50 yard radius
>>455 can perfectly aim rifles, if the scope is mounted the wrong way
>>456 can temporarily forget his own crippling loneliness for up to thirty seconds at a time.
>>457 can control all the dust bunnies inside his room at will.
>>458 can make a generation of dumb single moms to give birth to another generation of dumb single moms.
>>459 can reduce the spiciness of curry by blowing on it repeatedly.
>>460
Can be hit by lightning and live, but it only works once.
>>461 can alter the growth rate of his facial hair at will, up to an impressive one millimeter per hour.
>>462 can convert holy water back into normal water by waving his hand over it and reciting the Lord's Prayer backwards.
>>463 can wear shades in the dark without it negatively affecting their vision
>>464 can swap their earwax with their bogeys internally by way of pirouette.
>>469 can, thrice per day, temporarily (1d10 seconds) make opponents confused as to which thread they're in.
>>470 can live indefinitely as a panda believing it's a human without ever succumbing to cognitive dissonance.
>>471 can ejaculate low-fat salad dressing on the third Tuesday of every month.
>>473 at all times knows the exact perpendicular distance between himself and the nearest panda. Curiously, the distance is always zero, even if he isn't around any pandas.
>>475 can use literally any possible object as a bottle opener.
>>477 was bitten by a radioactive panda and gained the superhuman powers of digesting raw bamboo and not breeding.
>>478 Can make himself look like a comic book villain by applying toxic chemicals to his skin.
>>482 can cure a lactose intolerant person for 30 minutes after having sex with them.
>>483 can pass off incredibly useful superpowers as being largely useless
>>486 doesn't need to defecate. All of the waste he produces extrudes from his oral cavity.
>>488 can read people's minds, but only if they're thinking about muesli.
>>490 doesn't need to look both ways before crossing the street
>>491 can convince anyone that he is Bosnian, in spite of any and all evidence to the contrary.
>>492 can read instruction manuals at lighting speed but only when he doesn't need to read the instructions
>>493 can think of creative useless superpowers for small internet forums
>>494 can suck on as many lemons as he wants without succumbing to the tartness.
>>495 can get away with using normal toothpicks instead of cocktail picks
When >>496 mixes any two colours of paint together it always makes a dark green colour