Help! Someone stole one of the keys on my keyboard!
I pressed the easy button again.
Why does my easy button have a dead battery?
the dumbest magic spell ever cast.
I'm playing FATAL, and the only spell I have is Bestow Sniffle.
I'm now going to kill myself.
How will you do your part to make the world a better place?
Give it some time and see if it gets any larger.
Why won't my monoboob grow? can i make it get bigger!!?
Don't keep clicking it, that won't make it go any faster.
I need to cross the street right now! How many times must I push the button?
A gun with a backwards barrel.
Who is this self-proclaimed "Captain Lerrab" idiot?
She's frosting a cake with a paper knife.
What makes you think she got into Grandpa's booze?
I'm sorry, please ask again later.
What makes you think she got into Grandpa's booze?
I blame >>523.
Who will make the dumb post that kills this thread?
The most explosive popcorn.
What is the number one cause of microwave-related deaths?
Without a thorough colonoscopy, all I can give is idle speculation.
What breed of mouse is currently inhabiting my anus?
I don't know, he sounded pretty gay to me.
Remember my flatmate, he used to wear those flowery shirts and listen to the Smiths? He married his girlfriend last week
They live in a dark, wet country ruled by girly-men.
Punjabs.
He has a lisp.
How could you be sure it was Grandpa?
what is this I don't even
Any retarded channer shit you want to get out of your system?
Because I don't like playing Deus Ex.
Why are you a bad person?
Nah.
Should I save your mother from this boiling vat of oil?
So that's why I have a hangover.
Grandpa?
I just realized that Johnny Carson was doing this joke as "Carnac the Magnificent" on TV in the 1970s.
Why do you look so pensive after watching "That 70s show"?
The skinniest BBW.
ur mom
Time! Time!
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
Because the previous poster is also a panda, that's why.
Why didn't you get the reference?
Shut up and drink your coffee.
I have a serious caffeine allergy, do you think maybe you could call an ambulance?
Because I walk with a limp.
Hey, everyone else has a pet photoshop. Why don't you have a pet photoshop?
The only possible answer is Diet Pepsi.
How could we possibly power such an impossible contraption?
Meat would be the obvious answer.
What's that sweet and meaty smell?
Because there weren't enough let's-play-games-with-your-captcha threads.
Why were you angry after visiting DQN today?
Though it might be difficult at first, it is our only hope.
Must I truly go back in time to reverse the Eternal September?
Then don't drop it, dumbass.
If I drop this tune, it will literally set the dancefloor on fire!
It's only equalled by your lust for oreos.
What is your fascination with butter on bacon?
Ejaculating in a mayonnaise jar and giving it to someone else.
What is the dickest thing you've done so far?
Patchouli Knowledge.
What is something that is always better when written in italics?
If it is thought, then it must exist.
Does God exist?
They were originally planning to make tennis balls, but there was a mix-up and they got potatoes instead of rubber.
Why does my tennis racket turn tennis balls into french fries?
Anthro pigs and anthro elephants
What are the most common fetishes among chubby-chaser furries?
It carries out and is w.
What is the greatest thing a DQN can accomplish?
Teaching quantum mechanics to a 10 year old.
What is the greatest thing a DQN can't accomplish?
Hamilton Bleach.
How many people are in your bed?
The synthesizer solo in "Europe - The Final Countdown"
What do you get if you cross the Doctor Who theme with a giant panda?
How can I answer silently?
Green, elongated cucumber jokes.
How do I win the heart of a cucumber?
An innecessary and terribly obscene amount of dicks.
Losersayswhat?
The doctor said it was treatable!
My condolences on losing your legs to advanced hikikomori's disease.
A bottle of bourbon, a Strike Witches boxed set, and a loaded handgun.
My little sister has a birthday next week, what should I give her?
Wait until it rains, and then pound on them a bunch of times with a rubber mallet.
Whats the best way to get rid of moles?
Engage according to operational parameters.
Bravo Sierra, this is Whiskey Tango. We have visual on the enemy. Please advise, over.
Playing Perfect Cherry Blossom while driving.
What was ZUN arrested for last year?
Fifteen flavours of jelly just weren't enough, I guess.
Why did that guy with OCD freak out in the 12th aisle in Sweetbay?
The dumbest superhero power that actually accomplished something.
What is Greyskull?
that part became very much like the ending of "Tears of Sun" movie for me... reteating like a motherfucker, mentally handicapped AI teammate is trying bravely to revive a friend and I'm bandaging myself, I even shot an APC... but so many fucking chinks man... going backward toward the evac point and shooting as many chinks as I can and a dramatic change to side arm and the complimentary AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
What was the most memorable thing about the Mario Kart game for you?
I personally think he did it just for spite.
Why did someone key into my car "I love you" ?
Dhalsim's dick
What did they use to rescue that little girl who fell into the well?
The easiest (and safest) way to check the difference is scent
I'm never quite sure when I pick my underwear off the floor if I should wear them again or throw them in the hamper.
fourteen point oh-five degrees kelvin
Some bar said they had the coldest beer in the world. Exactly how cold was it?
100 kegs of Rolling Rock beer.
What else does the AVGN own besides a shitty game collection?
Selling real flamethrowers in a children's toy store.
How can I effectively breed stupidity out of the human race now that the theory or practice of eugenics isn't cool anymore?
The same reason hip-hop 'artists' steal from classic rock songs and call it 'sampling'.
Why do Japanese language song have several English words in them?
Hidden underneath your mother's bed, and kept shut with a lock.
Where can I find a secret dildo collection?
If you're losing that much blood, it's probably better to go to a hospital.
Nonsense, it's only a flesh wound.
The secret is annealing at 250 C. for at least four hours afterward.
I tried to make a Fancy Hearing Cake and it tasted terrible! What could I have done wrong?
Put two of them in a cup.
I have a surplus of girls, what should I do with them?
The pages turn, the wheel spins, and the clock stops.
How do you feel, seeing your aunt naked?
I think it was around seventeen, maybe more
How old were you, the first time you saw your aunt naked?
Your aunt is now my sexual fetish.
My aunt just died. What now?
The yellow river in China.
Where does pee go when you flush?
Send a photo of that to the New York Times.
What should I do with the fanny bag that I just discovered on my belt?
Try talking sense into it. If it doesn't help then gnaw on it.
My antelope is stuck on 'shuffle' again!
That's kind of what you get for lending it to your dead cousin.
Why is that, after giving my guns to my insane and dead cousin, is he now plotting his revenge against me for my failure to revive him?
Yes, I do believe you manage to be even faggier than Relolia
Do I look fabulous or what?
Clockwise if you're in Europe, otherwise not even God can help you.
Which way do I go on this roundabout road?
North Korea's socialized medicine.
What resembles your typical HMO coverage except is way more honest about it?
I believe what I said at the time went something like "hurrrrr".
Why did you get on that roundabout road?
Every word of it is a lie, including "a," "an," and "the."
Have you heard that tale about a man, an plan the panama?
On 4-ch DQN we are all panda
So in your opinion, what do the members of DQN have in common?
All of it! The entire thing!
How much cake do you normally eat?
You have only yourself to thank.
Which people should I thank in my award ceremony speech?
Akhnaten, I guess.
Who's your phavorite pharaoh?
I got the idea when I saw Squeeks wearing the poo turban.
What possessed you to found your own religion?
Sort of like sycamore seeds.
What is the taste of sycaless seeds?
It's the direction of the ferret wheel.
What's the least helpful definition of the word "clockwise" that you can think of?
Ms Patchouli wants you to read her the SICP.
How can I learn more about Touhou?
Drifting a London bus.
What's the most ignoble stunt you've pulled lately, DQN?
The holy trinity of one part onions to two parts bell peppers and three parts celery.
What's the least appropriate thing imaginable to put in ice cream?
The secret is that there is no secret--it is exactly what it appears to be.
So what's the secret ingredient of your special tomato soup cake?
Well I do have a friend who made a giant phallus on Minecraft, if that counts.
What makes you so unique?
Another one bites the dust is not by michael jackson
What is your opinion on the latest Freddy Mercury authorship theory?
No more than forty-six. Unless we're talking about the lilac sort, then up to sixty-seven.
how many flowers can I stuff in my vagina?
Everybody in the world, except for the goddamn icelanders.
Who secretly hates ljuetfisk?
Bees. My God.
I poked this nest, what are those things coming out of it?
Butts man.
Who's that guy who got his superpowers from used cigarettes?
My right ankle.
What's for dinner?
Because it makes less of a mess.
Why would anyone have sex with a hollowed-out watermelon?
1924. It was a hell of a year!
Can you tell me about the years before 1993?
Knee socks.
Which protective tool that should be worn at all times is not as good as mittens?
It's a hell of a ride.