>>0, why are you in the refrigerator?

>>2, I have no advice at this time.

>>600
I've been thinking about how bland the front of my house is. How could I efficiently pebbledash it?

>>602
Honestly, with a flavour like that, you won't need anything else.

>>601
Besides garlic, what can I put in a stew to keep vampires and other suspicious house guests from lingering after dark?

>>603
Obviously. Where else were you going to seek satisfaction?

>>603
Should I wear an eyepatch under my glasses to make me look cool?

>>605
If wishes were dishes

>>604
How could I possibly serve all these fishes?

>>606
Because it's midnight.

>>605
Hold on, how did it suddenly become tomorrow?

>>607
They are the herbs and spices of indolence.

>>606
What's in this blunt, anyway?

>>608
The sermons of Rev. Billy Herrington

>>607
What should I listen to while heading down to the leather club 2 doors down?

>>609
Año means year. Ano means anus.

>>608 What is ANARU?

>>610 Poking a skunk with a stick.

>>609 What's more fun than a bee on a string?

>>611 She's a professional contortionist.

>>610 Was I putting my wiener in her or was she was putting her wiener in me?

>>613 You think you have it tough. Imagine what your "attacker" is feeling right now.

I've been skipped! I think I've slipped into a crack in time!

>>611 This bear mauling wound stings something fierce. Should I go to the hospital?

>>614 I don't know. You'd think he would show up by now.

>>613 Where did >>612 go?

>>615 Just lift the sink up and feel around.

>>615 Who are these violin-playing hipsters that get into fights with each other?

>>617 The fake Shimajiro subtitles meme.

>>616
How do you make a DQN laugh?
>>618
One of the better Killers albums

>>617
What was a fever you can't sweat out? Ebola?

>>619
Yes, but I haven't cleaned up yet, and it's been more than twelve hours.

>>618 Will you ever return home from the pig farm?

>>620 The most powerful spell ever cast in an animu.

>>619
I just took a bowl-shattering dump. What could I compare it to in order to impress my internet friends?

>>621
Just don't breastfeed it after midnight. Lock up your guns too, just in case.

>>620
I'm not too thrilled about the new Gremlins reboot. What do you think the catchphrase will be?

>>622
Just keep adding backslashes until it works.

>>621
I can't seem to access 4chan b/. Wat do?

>>623
Well, yeah. I wouldn't put it in exactly those words, though.

>>622 I oppose the war on drugs because I want drug users to freely overdose themselves to death.

>>624 the actual effect of South Korea's ban on internet porn.

>>623 Breeders?

>>625 We need to do some gardening.

>>624
Have you seen the baby anywhere?

>>626
Very indirectly, but yes.

>>626 Why should I stick my head in a vise?

>>628 Making a rant that is 600 words long about a statement that is 12 words long.

>>627 What do I regret the most about 2015?

>>629 I haven't been at the desert at all in years.

>>628
How was your trip to the Arctic?
>>630
The cucumbers are next the beans in the cupboard

>>629 I can't find anything exciting to stuff up my ass. Do you know where I can find something exciting?

>>631 A Super Pochaco cosplayer.

>>630 Who will take my virginity and save me from wizardry?

>>632 Don't look at me like that. It wasn't me

>>631 What ate the last slice of the pie?

>>633 The best Super Famicom game of 1994.

>>632 Nankoku Shōnen Papuwa-kun is coming out next year. Do you think it'll be any good?

>>634 I saw one crossing the road the other day. I swerved and barely missed it.

>>633
What's with the homeless problem in this town?
>>635
June is a strange time of year

>>634
Why are you wearing that ridiculous hat?

>>636
Okinawa, of course.

>>635 Where should I hunt a whale?

>>637 Playing golf with dragon balls.

>>636
Why were they scattered around the world in the first place, anyway?
>>638
That's "99 problems", not "99 bottles" you dolt.

>>637
OH I'm sorry, what would YOU consider an appropriate side dish for spaghetti?

>>639
I left her behind by accident, but I hope she calls soon.

>>638
Hasn't your grandma been at the strip club a little too long?

>>640
They're usually a bit simpler than that, and good for only a few uses.

>>639
What do you think about feminists claiming that women are "able to do anything a man can do"?

>>641
Most buildings should be solid enough to withstand that, although I wouldn't recommend it.

>>640
The big boxing match is coming up and I want to train by punching the wall of my house. Is there any risk of structural damage?

>>642
The meteoric rise of e-cigs.

>>641 Do you know what would happen if tobacco products were taxed even more heavily than they already are?

>>643 Zapping things with a huge laser, recording it, then showing the footage on YouTube.

>>642
What's the most irresponsible thing you've done with space program funds?

>>644
Down the street from the Unholy Citadel.

>>643 I think I've got the wrong door, can you tell me where the leather club is?

>>645 I'm no doctor but it's definitely NOT supposed to bend that way.

>>644
Hey, you have a PhD in materials science, don't you? Look, this stick of chalk is tied in a knot!

>>646
Love.

>>645
Why did you burn down that house, anyway?

>>647
Zucchini bread and spiders.

>>646
I have come up with the perfect recipe for blue waffle, stalagmite and bovril soup but can't think of a good accompaniment. Any suggestions?

>>648
Of course! I loved "Shit My Dentist Used To Say Before I Removed Her Lower Jaw".

Hi guys

I remember speaking to someone from your company about the global vape shop database I am using for my ejuice brand.

I think this is the link to the official sales page: https://bit.ly/2V3ZKAU

I could of course send you my copy of the database but I think it is best if you get your own copy to get all the latest updates.

I hope that helps.

>>648 You came back too far, you haven't had that conversation with anyone from my company yet!

>>650 It's possible to make it too tight, so just be careful.

>>649
Any medical risk associated with being tight-fisted?

>>651
So he obtained that girl's phone number without waking her up.

>>650
Why did that guy hire a mind-reader at the middle of the night?

>>652
The personality of a fire based magic user.

>>651
What kind of personality does a fire based magic user have?

>>653
62.34 inches in length and 43.87 in width, obviously

>>652
What are the ideal dimensions of a fantasy penis?

>>654
Twelve. Ask for more than that and I'll kill you

>>653
How many times may I have sex with your grandfather?

>>655
No, your sweat pores weren't made for that.

>>654
Can I sweat red Gatorade like the people do in television commercials?

>>656
Mocking people who say "You are what you eat."

>>655
Why are you, a 24 year old man, on a timeout during thanksgiving?
>>657
Yes, but don't let anyone from Texas hear you say that

>>656
When I say "I hate garlic toast" then why do you get so worried?
>>658
The smell of Centorea

>>657
Who? Is this another one of your "Friends"?
>>669
My mouth is a desert

>>659 I want to see LARPers have a sword fight. How would I convince them to do that outside the renaissance fair?

>>661 Megaman X9 for the Playstation 5 and Microsoft Scorpio.

>>660 As a time traveller from the year 2993, what is the next Mighty No.9 and Ouya, respectively?

>>662 There are walls to your left and below you. You can sense pizza, but not ghosts or houses.

>>661 what would happen if I typed "> Look around" in this bishoujo horror adventure game?
>>663 probably Grandpa

>>662 Edward Snowden's favourite 2ch AA character?

>>664 Yes, but Marie Curie would be rolling in her grave.

>>663 Is it fun to play Polandball with Polonium?

>>665 The social cost of obese cigarette smokers.

>>665 Why is my GF's spelling so shit?

>>667 Have fun blowing yourself up.

>>666 I'm about to light up this cigarette at a gas station, for the glory of Satan of course. Any tips?

>>668 Big Structural I-beams.

>>667 How I make my house look fancier?

>>669 Drop a Hydrogen Bomb on it.

>>668 How can I eradicate pasta sauce stains from my shirt quickly and easily?

>>670 I suggest therapy

>>669 How do I get out of this insane asylum?

>>671 Poke it with a cattle prod.

>>670 How do you get pikachu on a bus?

>>672 Change the name to "poop club"

>>671 How do I get more people to join my cult?

>>673 [THIS ANSWER WAS REMOVED BY THE GOVERNMENT]

>>672 What line should I use as the clincher to the alt-right conspiracy theory I'm making?
>>674 Perhaps letting it sit in vinegar.

>>673 How do I make my sick Cat better?

>>675 Suplex it; pro-wrestling style!

>>674 What's the best way to dip biscuits into a hot drink, to get maximum flavour saturation without completely sacrificing biscuit rigidity?

>>676 Fumble around the edge until you find some leverage, and start from there. That goes for you too >>840

>>675
I'm trying to move house but I only have this crowbar. How?

>>677
Plant it 2 months in advance.

>>676 what's the best way to insure that I get that gymnastics world record before anyone else?

>>678 It needs more cats

>>677 How would you describe the Yulin province meat festival?

>>679 A map of all the provinces in China.

>>678 What would you draw if you wanted to experience Laogai?

>>680 Five on the top shelf, nine underneath.

>>679 Where are the stolen goods?

>>681 Extinguish the sun.

>>680 What will pissing into an upside-down telescope do?

>>682 I left it there and forgot about it, okay?!

>>681 Why is there a piece of shit on my chair?

>>683 I just sent it to you ;)

>>682 Where can I find the meaning of life?

>>684 Drink liquid Nitrogen.

>>683 How can I freeze my stomach?

>>685 Simple, you must start a revolution!

>>684 Nobody ever taught me how to dance dance. What do I do first?

>>686 Learn magic

>>685 How do I cast "web"?

>>687 Twice a week, except leap days.

>>686 How often should I shampoo my hair?

>>688 Close your eyes and magic will happen.

>>687 Why are you in my room at dead midnight?

>>689 I agree that three rights make a left but you lost me on the other one.

>>688 If you think about it, Trump, Boris and Arlene are actually pretty egalitarian. Anyway, can't wait to see Corbyn win this one.

>>690 No.

>>689 Am I real?

>>691 Shoot it until it dies.

>>690 How do I satisfy the cybersex demon?

>>692 Yes!

>>691 Who's the best prog rock band?

>>693 Not if you want to keep that finger.

>>692 Can I stick my finger in a pencil sharpener to sharpen my fingernail?

>>694 Only on Tuesdays.

>>693 I tried the succubus summoning ritual for 6 days. Does it ever work?

>>695 The girls from Dead Or Alive playing by Keijo rules.

>>694 What gives you a boner?

>>696 Those make HORRIBLE pets.

>>695 Why is Harley Quinn the only person who is portrayed with hyenas?

>>697 The uncensored version of Beetle Bailey.

>>696 What's something that can help me fall asleep?

>>698 Find a black bear and hug it.

>>697 How can I experience a softness worth dying for?
>>699 The name of your first pet spelled backwards.

>>698 What would make a badass name for my new D&D character?

>>700 Go to Antarctica and live with the Penguins.

>>699 What would be the cutest death I could ask for?
>>701 Put it underwater for 2 hours then wash it with body lotion.