>>0, why are you in the refrigerator?

>>2, I have no advice at this time.

>>501
I'm trying to print out an image of a man wearing a bowler hat, but it won't work. What do you recommend?

>>503
Your sister.

>>502
This stew is delicious! What's in it?

>>504
More than 98%, unfortunately.

>>503 ( ﾟ ヮﾟ) How much of the world's mittens are owned by 1% of the population?

>>505
It never existed in the first place, except for wigs.

>>504
What happened to the elitist superstructure's secret union of wigs and wig-wearers?

>>506
On the contrary! I'd wait at least a month.

>>505
I demand that you come to my house and fuck me right now! You're on your way over right now, aren't you?

>>507
I don't care how many times I have to say it! I don't want your money! I won't even take it for that!

>>506 I just want to buy 1 ounce of your pee! What would you lose if you sold it?

>>508 World's fastest giant turtle.

>>507
What do you want to be when you grow up?

>>509
I don't know, I'm only a stamp collector.

>>508 Since you're into collecting things, can you tell me how many coins Zimbabwe uses in its currency?

>>510 A jigsaw puzzle of Uncle Sam standing amongst some stereotypically depicted native americans.

>>509
What should I get my hippie aunt for her fiftieth wedding anniversary?

>>511
As long as it's only stunned for an hour or two, I say go for it.

>>510 Should I fuck this animal that I used my Phaser on?

>>512 That really annoying Ace Of Base song.

>>511
What song do you want played at your funeral?

>>513
Please... it hurts so much!

>>512 Would you like me to lance your infected testicle? I'll be wanting two million yen in compensation for the emotional trauma, though.

>>514
He never was one for explaining the joke. sniff I'll miss him.

>>513
I still don't get it. Why did he ask for his body to be "dipped in marmalade and fed to walruses"?

>>515
The first time isn't too bad, but it's all downhill from there.

>>514 What is using this harsh drug like?

>>516 being addicted to Touhou games

>>515 So, what's New York's biggest economic problem in 2014?

>>517 What did they mean by, "the pressure, the terrible pressure"?

>>516 They are talking about needing to fart, but if they let it out they will be humiliated.

>>518 Filmnstuff reviews Top Gun for the NES.

>>517
What was the last thing to make you cry?

>>519
Stick it up your nose and hope for the best.

>>518
So how is this firework paper going to clear up my sinus trouble?

>>520
All the raw meat you could eat in a lifetime.

>>519
Blowing up a farm? What's in it for me?

>>521
About ten thousand of them.

>>520
How many children have you, erm, examined in this fiscal year alone?

>>522
Arthur Schopenhauer's "World as Will and Idea", if you can find both volumes!

>>521
Remind me, which books are we taking to tonight's book burning?

>>523
I stopped doing that about seven years ago.

>>522
Do you still perform demonic rituals to ensure prosperity?

>>524
Boop.

>>523
Out of all the beautiful sounds different cultures have created over centuries of music, what is the greatest sound of all?

>>525
A mediocre J-drama.

>>524
What is the most accurate description of your life at the moment?

>>526
Ask again later and I might be a little more willing.

>>525
Would you like to travel forwards in time with me?

>>527
It, uh, it looks like a huge cock and balls.

>>528 how would you describe what petroleum refining machinery looks like?

>>530 a tornado in reverse.

>>527 How would you describe John Freeman?

>>529 Zombies ate my head.

>>528 So, how did your joyful bike ride went?

>>530 It was... inevitable...

>>529
What was the answer to 6 across in last week's crossword?

>>531
Sausage wrapped in pancake on a stick.

>>531
Why does your cat look so damn smug?

>>533
No, only one! Only one, you lunatic!

>>532
I applied the serum to test subjects 001-006. Kay?

>>534
Because it was a good thread.

>>533
Why don't people post here more often?

>>535
Absolutely, DEFINITELY, not mittens.

>>534
What do you wear when performing necromancy?

>>536
I think it should be just a little bigger.

>>536 A Wiimote that is an N64 controller with motion sensors added.

>>538 A suggestive joystick

>>537 What was the first thing you ever pleasured yourself anally with?

>>539 I tried to but it didn't work the way it did in my imagination.

>>538
So, did you ever build that flying battle-mech you were talking about?

>>540
The flavor really isn't that nice.

>>539 Did you hear they brought Creamola Foam back?

>>541 It's all Dragon Arrow! Dragon Arrow! Dragon Tail! Dragon Arrow!

I found this old inscription, "☊☊☋☊" can you translate it?

I am pretty sure that that is beyond the purview of most physical therapy, sorry.

>>541
Hey doc, is there anyway I could get jacked off by futanari catgirls in maid costumes over school swimsuits as they are fucked from behind by giant octopus?

>>543
Try shaking it.

>>542
I cannot get the last couple of drops of piss out of my wiener properly when I'm at the urinal, can you help me with this?

>>544
When the label says "Do Not Eat", it's probably not a good idea to eat it.

>>543
How do I open this awful package of salt?

>>545
You didn't need to tell your preschool teacher that.

>>544 I caught you doing shotacon! What are you going to do, now that I have secret that I can use against you?

>>546 The country music star that didn't die of alcoholism or smoking.

>>545
Whose soul does Johnny Cash's shade feast on?

>>547
Oh, don't get me wrong, it is wonderful. It is just so embarrassing.

>>546
Why do you hate german schiesse porn?

>>548
It never happened; Don't mention this incident again.

>>547 Were you playing with your Spaceballs dolls again?

>>549 using an official U.S.Navy uniform to cosplay as a schoolgirl.

>>548
What do you have planned now that Don't Ask Don't Tell is gone?

>>550
Because many people confuse penguins with puffins.

>>549
Why does everyone try to give my penguin a cigarette?

>>551
Never speak that name again.

>>550
Have you heard from Squeeks lately?

>>552
Line 5217.

>>551
So, when in that shorty story he finally shags her under the moon?

>>553
It already happened in 1991.

>>552
When will September end?

>>554
Yes, exactly like Green Day.

>>553
Don't you sometimes wish for somebody to wake you up when this nightmarish on-line "September" is over?

>>555
The motor would probably blow up.

>>554 What would happen if I used nitrous oxide in my lawnmower?

>>556 The greatest automatic pistol that wasn't made by Colt or Glock.

>>555
I need an analogy for your penis, immediately.

>>557
The square root of minus one.

>>556
Imagine a number for me.

>>558
You can't hide such a strange vice forever, you know. Sooner or later people will learn about it.

>>557 You didn't tell anyone about the Brazilian porn collection, right?

>>559 10 month old croutons.

>>558 What is the last thing i'm going to eat today?

>>560 You got sriracha on it.

>>559 my cat is freaking the fuck out, what's the matter?

>>561 Witchaven.

>>560 What wikipedia page has the best excuse for use of the phrase ``titular fortress''?

>>562 Fold into three sections of equal area.

>>561 How the hell do I read this pamphlet I just printed?

>>563 Of course not, his head is in the way.

>>562 can I have anal sex with this politician?

>>564 No. NO. Red one first!

>>563 Hey I think I am going to play the pokemon games in order. Is Silver okay?

>>565 Cattleya from Queen's Blade.

>>564
Well, if you don't dig Bayonetta, who ARE you into?

>>566
I think the best adjective would be "gnarled".

>>566 New York Times said they would publish an article about me, why can't I find it?

>>568 Drifting a rental car.

>>567
What's the fastest way to get to work?

>>568
There's a particular charm to her.

>>568
Dude, WHY are you trying to go to Mogeko Castle and meet Moge-ko, again?

>>570
Please at least pronounce it correctly.

>>569 Why doesn't anybody help me when I ask for shiitake mushrooms?

>>571 Bacon from genetically modified pigs.

>>570
What's the breakfast of the future?

>>572
Sitting for prolonged periods of time is unhealthy.

>>571
Why can't I feel my legs?

>>574
I wouldn't recommend it without ear protection.

>>573 Ever use a jackhammer as a Pogo stick?

>>575 Wearing a gas mask while kicking a skunk in the balls.

>>574
What was your best "feels good man" experience?

>>576
Put the shit on top of the shit so you can grab the shit.

>>575
My toilet won't flush any more and I think it's blocked, any advice?

>>577
The one with the pretty girls on it.

>>576
What's your favourite Holocaust memorial?

>>578
Chicken Chinese Style.

>>577
What's it called when two rickshaws drive toward each other?

>579

Make sure it can't tie a bowline knot.

>>578
I want to buy a pet dog, but I don't want one that can tie bowline knots. What should I do?

>>580
Always cut the blue wire first.

>>579
How do I deliver a baby?

>>581
Five hundred kg of musk.

>>850
What do I need to get into space?

>>852
You have to flip it turnways.

>>581
There's only one piece left in this jigsaw puzzle, but I can't get it to fit. What should I do?

>>583
The very, very, very top.

>>582
What part of a chocolate cornet do you eat first?

>>584
Two bushels per fortnight.

>>583
How much is college tuition?

>>585
A magnitude 8 earthquake.

>>584
What's funnier than a magnitude 7 earthquake?

>>586
Your fixation on Amy Pohler.

>>585
What keeps ruining these new imageboards?

>>587
Not if you keep jamming your penis in it.

>>586
Will the woman I love ever leave me?

>>588
Slice of life anime.

>>587
Why even live?

>>589
Start downloading every video you come across

>>588
What's a good plan for the impending shutdown of the Internet?

>>590
Skeletor.

>>589
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

>>591
Like a flock of little birds.

>>590
What's the best way to travel?

>>592
The five second rule.

>>591
How is it that you're able to eat shards of glass?

>>593
An ironclad esophagus.

>>592
How is it that you're able to eat shards of lava?

>>594
Pigs in mittens.

>>593
What's the proper term for the despicable scum who try and infiltrate the superstructure?

>>595
Someplace where the windows don't have bars, I guess. Also, no bugs.

>>594 What is your ideal version of Microsoft Windows

>>596 Golf balls with rockets inside of them.

>>595
How did the stars get up there?

>>597
Giant babies with their faces kicked in.

>>596
At what point did you realize that David Lynch had gone overboard?

>>598
The biggest one I've ever seen.

>>597
What's your favorite biscuit?

>599

The Elitist Superstructure of DQN

>598

Whose responsible for poor decision making?

>>600
I can't speak for anyone else, but I have reasons to keep it there.

>>599
Why do so many people keep things like their skeletons and sexuality "in the closet"?

>>601
The most powerful diuretic available.