( ・-・) I wouldn't say this if this wasn't an anonymous board... (964)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5868 02:10

( ・-・) Mittens are actually pretty lame.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5868 03:29

( ゚ ヮ゚) YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5868 03:58

( ・-・) Also, I wish it would rain every day for a whole year so all the goddamned Californians would go home and stop fagging up the Pacific Northwest.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 03:39

( ・-・) Nearly everyone who calls him or herself an "Environmentalist" is an uneducated malthusian shitbag.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 04:57

( ・-・) I want to be cute and moé but being 6'1" and male makes it difficult

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 14:17

( ・-・) I hate muslims even though I have two muslim friends.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 14:53

( ・-・) I think the reason black people in the US are a full statistical deviation dumber than everyone else is because all the smart ones evaded the slavers and are still in Africa.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 18:30

( ・-・) Even though I don't like to think in this manner I find >>7 to have a valid theory

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 21:15

( ・-・) I can't help but hate Israel, it's politics and most of it's inhabitants. I really try to keep myself from it, and i have quite a lot of jewish friends but i just can't change it. If Israel didn't exist we'd have a lot less problems in the world.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 21:21

( ・-・) On the other hand, the Palestinians have shown themselves to be really shitty neighbors at every turn. No wonder no other Arab country wants 'em.

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5869 23:55

( ・-・) Did you ever notice how seriously those flakes in San Francisco take themselves? It's like they can't comprehend that there's a whole world outside of their precious city.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5870 01:01

( ・-・) I think the reason people in the US are a full statistical deviation dumber than everyone else is because all the smart ones evaded the British taxes/laws and are still in England.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5870 01:54

( ・-・) >>12, unless England is populated entirely by Ashkenazim, you're going to have to step down from that hobby horse of yours.

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5870 05:35

>>11 Hey wait a minute, mention the existence of New York to someone from San Francisco and they will go completely nuts with envy.

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5870 17:52

>>11,14

San Francisco, New York... Two US cities... lol americans.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5870 20:42

( ・-・) It's easy to think of one's country as being the center of the world when it is.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 04:44

( ・-・) I masturbate way more than is likely healthy.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 05:57

( ・-・) I'd be more patriotic to my birth country if the U.S. nuked the South but until then I wouldn't go to the international headquarters of emos, furries and hipsters even if you paid me.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 06:12

( ・-・) I hate white people. Not as much as I hate beaners, spics, and gooks, but still.

( ・-・) Fuck you, cracker.

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 10:21

( ・-・) I think the whole racism-thing destroyed this thread. You all suck somehow.

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 13:59

( ・-・) So back to how stupid mittens really are...

( ・-・) Ever try to text while driving with mittens on? It's impossible.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 15:35

>>21 No it's not, I guess you're just not elite enough

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5871 21:06

>>21 Ever try to type with boxing gloves on?

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5872 02:01

Hmm, boxing gloves are more mitten-like than gloves...

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5872 02:33

( ・-・) You could even say that mittens are boxing gloves' gay little brothers.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5872 02:36

( ・-・) I've been lying to people and telling them I was born in 1540, but really I was born in 1974.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5872 16:55

( ・-・) I never actually fought in the Vietnam War as I was born in Scotland in 1989

28 Name: M-H!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-5873 13:27

( ・-・) Proposition: make Ni and 42 have the same meaning.

Ni as in "Knights who say Ni"
42 as in H2G2.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-5874 02:43

>>7 has a decent point. Any foreign students who come from Africa blow away a good chunk of my college, and that's the chunk with 90's.

I think Professor Badass might be from Africa.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6186 14:40

( ・-・) I voted for McCain because I thought he'd do less damage.

( ・-・) I'm pretty sure I'm still right about that one.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6189 00:34

( ・-・) I masturbate into plastic cups and then leave them out in public.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6189 10:14

( ・-・) I look at my sisters sexually

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6189 10:49

( ・-・) I hate that I think like this, but I think atheists are the dumbest, most self-righteous shitheads on earth whose feelings are firstly based more on some childish sense of 'being right' than any wish to actually lift the human condition, and secondly are far from a rationally reached result of critical thought, are a childish reaction to chiefly American strains of religion.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6189 11:11

>>33 i've read that post before

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6189 14:30

( ˃ ヮ˂) I, too, look at >>32's sisters sexually.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6196 23:53

( ・-・) I agree with Arizona's new immigration law.

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6197 01:50

( ˃ ヮ˂) Don't worry, >>5! Huge guys can be moé too!

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6197 02:21

I have four tabs open: /jp/, SAoVQ, /vip/, and DQN.

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6201 05:50

( ・-・) I think things would be better for everyone if >>39 forgot those last 3 items existed.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6235 16:05

( ・-・) I don't get why "liberals" are so hell-bent on taking away everyone's liberty.

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6235 17:09

( ・-・) sometimes I think Glenn Beck is one of the only people who knows the difference between a Classical Liberal and a Progressive, and actively considers the significance of the shift in ideology on modern politics.

Not that he isn't a retard.

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6236 02:30

( ・-・) I don't really care about the whole Tablecat thing...

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6237 21:51

( ・-・) I honestly believe memes are both funny and cool. I don't think mittens are lame at all.

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6237 22:49

( ・-・) A really long time ago, I used to consider moot to be my little girl.

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6237 22:53

( ・-・) I wholeheartedly agree with >>44

( ・-・) ....

( ・ ー・) And moot will always be my little girl.

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6238 15:41

(・∀・) Grampa, why is beady-eyes talking to himself?

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6238 18:08

( ´ω`) Because he's a friendless pansy, Junior.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6251 02:27

( ・-・) Grandpa and Junior suck.

( ・-・) "Life before the internet" my ass...

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6251 08:12

( ・-・) I hate people who always rush for GETs

( ・-・) Also, 50 GET

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6251 22:05

( ・-・) I'm actually a girl

( ・-・) I too enjoy memes and think that the decline of memes and increase in "originality" is what makes websites shitty, not the other way around.

( ・-・) I hate many of the theories of social justice, progressivism and socialism and fight against them every chance I get, but at the same time I think they're ultimately right

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6251 22:47

( ・-・) I frequently fantasize about Haruhi Suzumiya giving me the chocolate.

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6252 03:14

( ・ω・) That sounds like some weird butt thing.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 14:13

( ・-・) It is.

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 17:13

( ・-・) This board is my only social outlet.

( ・-・) When I hear from a family member, I talk about >>1->>1000 as if they are real life friends.

56 Name: ( ^ ー^) : 1993-09-6253 20:38

What if we really are your real-life friends, >>55? ( ^ ー^)

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 20:48

( ・-・) I would avoid all contact with you.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 21:15

( ・-・) I think that >>56 should kill himself.

( ・-・) Don't worry >>56, I'll kill myself too. Eventually.

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 21:41

( ・-・) My previous plans to kill myself before aged 35 have been ruined by one of those marriage pacts that those crazy kids do.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6253 23:33

Maybe you are >>56, maybe you are. ( ^ ー^)

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6254 08:10

>>55
( ・-・) I thought that I was the only one that did this...
( ・-・) Realizing that someone else does this makes it even sadder.

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6254 11:21

( ˃ ヮ˂) YOU GUYS JUST NEED TO LET A LITTLE LAUGHTER INTO YOUR LIFE!

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6256 14:12

No, >>60. You are the friends.
And then >>60 was cheerful.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6258 00:11

( ・-・) I will never marry.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6258 12:52

( ・-・) For whether you stay, or stray, an inbuilt guilt catches up with you. And as it comes around to your place at 5 A.M.; wakes you up and it laughs in your face .

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6258 18:41

( ・-・) I love my wife, but sometimes I just want to take a pair of cuticle scissors and snip off her labia.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6258 18:49

>>66 ouch, my willy just shrank

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6258 19:25

( ・-・) Ever since some asshole said "pissflaps" on this board...

(( ˃-˂)) ugggggh

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6259 01:05

( ゚ ー゚) I'm not afraid of dying, because I already hate my life.

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6261 07:33

( ・-・) If I were stuck in the 90s, I probably wouldn't miss anything.

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6262 23:35

I also love >>66's wife. And her pissflaps.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6263 01:36

( ˃ ヮ˂) PISSLAPS! PISSLAPS! PISSFLAPS!

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6263 06:16

( ・-・) I find myself agreeing with >>70 much more than I probably should

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6263 14:13

( ・-・) I enjoy not having a libido.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6263 14:52

( ・-・) For someone who ejaculates five times a day, I sure don't get much sex.

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6263 18:21

( ・-・) I wonder sometimes if that guy who posted me doing all that dumb "Grandpa's dying" stuff early on will ever see the heights I've achieved here since then.

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6264 17:37

( ・-・) I wonder sometimes if that guy who posted me doing all that dumb "Grandpa's dying" stuff early on will ever realize that Grandpa's dead.

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6266 19:36

( ・-・) I am actually bored by this ascii art roleplaying. vc:dawn

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6270 16:09

I love you, dqn! ⊂(´・ω・`)つ

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 02:29

( ・-・) Don't touch me.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 08:57

(╬ ಠิ益ಠิ) NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSIT

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 09:23

( ・-・) I hate 420chan these days, and there's a couple people on 99chan that are just so stupid and obnoxious that they have ruined the entire community for me. Almost the entire chan world, barring a few obscure sites, is polluted with obnoxiousness and ridiculousness. It is not humorous to me, and it is not useful. So, I guess I'll just have to go out and do something interesting with my life.

( ・-・) THose like >>34 are so stupid and asinine that I cannot help but feel unhappy that they found a human existence- which is so impossibly useful, beautiful, and dynamic- instead of the existence of a louse or fly, which is better fitting to such entities.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6287 16:34

( ・ω・) Okay.

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6288 22:18

Did you happen to link to the wrong post, >>34?
Anyway, don't pretend that you're worthy to play arbiter with human life-―you're posting on DQN, after all.

85 Name: 84 : 1993-09-6288 22:24

wwwwwww
In my haste, I did it myself.
Don't I look like an ass now?

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6289 01:57

( ・-・) This is basically a rehash of the Lame Confessional thread.

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6444 18:27

( ・-・) If there is a Hell, I bet it's full of feminists.

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6444 21:12

( ・-・) I actually do consider fetuses as living humans, or close enough to it, and I can't help but roll my eyes at people who insist that because a fetus can't live outside the womb it's not really human.

( ・-・) That being said, I'm still completely pro-choice.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6445 15:51

( ・-・) I think abortions should be allowed up to the age of 17.

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6445 19:10

I think Beady Eyes ought to have been aborted.

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6445 23:18

( ・-・) It would certainly prevent me from derailing so many threads, but no such luck.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6446 01:54

( ・-・) METAL AS FUCK

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6446 07:12

( ・-・) Hacker News and /prog/ are pretty much all the worst parts of hipsterism and programmer autism-self-diagnosers combined.

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6447 04:29

>>93
( ・-・) I agree with you there, and I was a regular on /prog/ back in 2007.

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6447 14:14

>>94 I had /prog/ on vinyl before you even heard of it!

96 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6447 17:34

>>95
/prog/ was always too mainstream for my tastes.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6448 23:46

>>96
( ・-・) I have invented countless memes on /prog/.

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6452 14:51

( ・-・) Political correctness is for whinging faggots.

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6539 03:54

( ・-・) I have hidden posts by actual friends on facebook because they basically turn their wall into either Twitter or the Internet equivalent of having 500 political bumper stickers on their car.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6539 14:17

( ・-・) I have no Facebook page, nor Myspace, nor Twitter account, nor a blog of any kind.

This is not because I am some pre-Internet technophobe who fears what he does not understand.

Rather, it is because I am old enough to remember when the WWW was just another competitor to FTP. I remember when colleges and universities would lease one single phone line at 9600 baud for their entire faculty and all their students. I remember BITNET and the online world that existed back when it was a secret a few math and comp sci majors furtively shared. Back when if you put something online, that meant it was important, that people would be interested in it, that it was, perhaps, data pertaining to some cutting-edge research that a group of scientists on different continents were collaborating to perform.

And I still have enough respect for the medium, for the bandwidth that other people are paying for. Email is a one-to-one medium, a personal medium. Email can be as personal and as silly as you and the recipient want, though always recall that email isn't really private and bored sysadmins have been known to read other people's mail.

But the Web is one-to-many, not one-to-one, and that means that it has to be important. It has to be interesting. And nothing in my life is important enough or entertaining enough to justify getting a Livejournal or a Myspace page to blather about my job or my vegetable garden or my new shoes to the whole of civilization. If any of my friends or relatives cares enough they'll ask me in an email. I have that much respect for the medium.

Is it hypocritical to talk about this on an anonymous board? Possibly. But at least I don't have up a Geocities page in which I ramble at great length for page after page about the inaccuracies in translated dialogue from some 1970s anime that was only shown in the US as filler before the Sunday morning church services on some little independent UHF stations in the 1980s. And that must count for something, doesn't it, fellow dokyuns?

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