would a hypernekko wear binoculars?
In honor of Dear Leader and the fact that I'm sick at the moment, I've decided to post excerpts from Espeon's adventure in North Korea. I stopped writing it because it went on too long and also fuck you. That's why.
The best thing about an assignment in Pyongyang was that after ten o'clock at night, you could drive at two hundred and fifty kilometers per hour right down the Boulevard of Socialism's Victory and not a single cop is willing or able to stop you. Diplomatic plates on a flashy black German car helped but were only a small part of the equation. For the most-part, a lowly civil servant on seeing something of this nature assumed it was just important Party business and was completely unwilling to intercede. If they managed to see the lack of a party emblem, what few cops there were on the streets after dark all drove ancient Soviet-made two-stroke Ladas whose top speed peaked at around ninety and that was only if they were dropped from an airplane.
The store for foreigners was pathetic these days. The shelves on last visit contained two packets of dried Miso soup, a solitary roll of toilet paper, and six pack of Heineken beer with one bottle replaced by a dreadful and often entirely uncarbonated local brand... in a can. So it was that the Swedish mission in Beijing had to ship everything to them and packed up all they needed including diesel packed into three liter cans for their generator and shipped it by air every week to the Swedish mission here. Ultimately, this inability for Westerners to do without amounted to 8% of Air Koryo's overall business last year. The Nepalese mission a few doors down just happily lived with power outages and scraping by for food. Perhaps it reminded them of the good old days…
The second best thing about an assignment in Pyongyang was that was a good story to tell and foreign newspapers and intelligence agencies would always come to you once you were home to ask you all about your experiences, sheltered as though they may be. It wasn’t like you could so much as leave the city without a minder and the locals’ standard greeting for foreigners was quiet panic and to cross an empty eight-lane road to get away from you. It wasn’t as though there was anything to actually do, either: North Koreans weren’t allowed to leave the country, Swedes weren’t allowed to visit, and there was absolutely no trade between the two. Their only real job was to serve as the neutral voice of the West should any American fool stumble into the country on a mission of God or a misguided sense of adventure. Then it was a matter of making sure the North Koreans didn’t beat their prisoner to death and call the office of an ex-President to come and retrieve them.
... and it just goes on like that. But most of it's on my other computer and it's not very good. But yeah, Espeon inadvertently starts WWIII after getting involved in fatal kinky sex with Kim Jong-Eun. That's all.
Also suck it. I'm tired and delirious.
>>850
I liked that a lot.
On an unrelated note, I've somehow waited years to listen to Act II from The Protomen. It's beautiful and I'm in tears.
>>852
Maybe Espeon channeled himself through you in order to spread the tale of his adventures.
>>853
Espeon works in mysterious ways. And steals a lot of wallets. Was it something here? Sometimes I'm a lot of things here.
Did Espeon drive me crazy? ...
wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Please, post post the rest, >>847-850-san. I like it a lot!
This story feels almost like something from Hunter S. Thompson (pbuh).
"We were just outside of Chongwon when the drugs began to take hold..."
i love u espeon
al i want 4 chistmas is 4 espion to come to my house an snugle with me under al balnkets '___;
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1314324451/390,391
/!\ HURT FEELINGS /!\
now to watch CHARLIE BROWN X-MAS.
1Q84 is pretty awesome. It's a shame I keep accidentally calling it IQ 84.
I'm sure none of this would have happened had I refrained from partaking in that parting eggnog. Strong rum! But eh, it's yet another interesting experience in my repertoire of the ages, and for that I welcome it fully.
>>863 we sing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os5TXyJlEMc
Ya gobshite.
That stunt on the roof was pretty dangerous, and I did not even come down with the right arrow, but it was really fun. My friends are so funny.
>>865
I used to do stunts on the roof, then I took a right arrow to the knee.
The right knee?
The bong I got for Christmas is quite good, but I am unsure of when I will come down. It's for my own development, anyway.
>>868
I'm no expert when it comes to drugs, but what makes a bong good or bad?
I wonder how it would feel if I rubbed that thing on my penis...
>>866
I used to make Skyrim jokes but then I realized that no one played Skyrim but me.
The Stand is readable
>>871
I adore Skyrim! I used to appreciate a good joke about arrows, until I took a dick through the chest.
This one should have used "this one" instead of "I" in the previous post. Foolish khajiit.
I must forgive her, that love thief...
Aren’t I pure, a good person?
For that woman, devil, love thief,
Hell is waiting.
>>876 Yeah. Just like A Yankee in King Arthur's Court, when struggling with a lack of an ending, Steven King just went for the Deus ex Machina.
And this will be the last time anyone will compare Steven King to Mark Twain. In this thread, anyhow.
I REAALY FEEL LIKE PLAYING HALO ODST BUT MY XBOX HAS AN E71 ERROR!!!!!!!!!
>>869 I am not >>868 but from experience I have used cheap little plastic bongs, and some of them weren't very good, like they leaked water and stuff. Bigger bongs mean you can take a bigger hit of smoke. I'm not sure what effect the materials used makes, though glass bongs certainly look and feel nicer than plastic ones. That said, I do love my big green plastic one. I've named her Fluttershy :3 And you can get big fancy complex glass ones with multiple cooling chambers and things like that, though I haven't tried one like that yet.
If a thread asks about what I'm thinking right now, isn't it supposed to be about the thread?
^
That's what I'm thinking right now.
Sometimes, I turn on some music, turn single track repeat on and hours pass by before I realize it. Then I realize that I've been listening to 35 seconds of looped video game music for hours on end, get unhappy and do nothing to fix it because it's so good.
Sleep deprivation creates miracles.
In Japanese class we would make inappropriate giggles this one lesson because
This is the best character: ❣
It looks like a heart-shaped exclamation mark. I think it is very cute.
I usually buy the cheapest supermarket's own-brand toilet paper, but while I was home for christmas my mother bought me lots of supplies to take back with me including some fancy Andrex paper, and when I got back to my own home I see my flatmate has bought some midrange not-cheap-but-not-fancy paper. I just had a jobby and scrumpled all three kinds of paper together to give my botty a sensual overload of contrasting textures. As I flushed the toilet I thought "I must tell dqn about this"
Often even those people who have no qualms about talking about sex, are squeamish about discussing shitting. I wonder why are they so repressed.
I think I'm at risk for alcoholism. And schizophrenia. But damn, there's nothing like whiskey to calm the nerves.
Gödel's incompleteness theorems are like being kicked in the balls.
Did I seriously just misspell "target" as "tergate"? I did as well. Oh goodness.
I am going outt for pizzz day with the family tomorow on NEW YEARS EVE! HAPPY NEW YEARS CHANNEL 4!!!
GOODBYE 2011, THE YEAR THAT COPYRIGHTS BULLIED HUMAN RIGHTS!
>>894
nice! I had pizza today (pepperoni) it was really good
ate it alone though :(
I guess it's weird that I'm going to eat pizza today as well.
It is my favorite food and I just had to have it today, even if I forgot that it was New Years and stuff.
Happy Mew Year, everynyan!
Pizzapizzapizza today.
ALSO HAPPY NEW YEAR GUISE
I had meat feast pizza the other night and i put coleslaw and marshmallows on it, it was nice
>>899
oh god you're pregnant, aren't you? you said you were on the pill!
Coleslaw is disgusting in my eyes and I refuse to eat it.
Happy New Year! Hey! Anon!! Don't crap out on your resolutions this year, okay?
Are we goning to hit >>1000 before midnight?
It's 1993. It will be 1993 tomorrow too...
As I get older I realize that my friends divided themselves into two distinct groups: (1) Those that paired off with members of the opposite sex and led normal lives and (2) those that didn't.
It seems my choices for New Year's Eve parties this year are as follows: lame parties that serve white wine in plastic cups continually interrupted by screaming children OR drug-fueled orgies that ultimately end in arson and revenge.
Happy Halloween, DQN!
I got drunk and then spent some time posting my secrets on the internet. I wish I posted on DQN instead. I don't even remember what I posted and where. At least we would know each other better if I posted it here. I'll think about it.
Maybe next year... Maybe next year...
I hope 2012 will be ace, brill, rad and/or swell for all you.
Happy VIP Year everybody! Oh wait, wrong board... Happy DQN(?) Year!
Happy birthday
slimely
Obama just signed the NDAA into law and Japan was hit with a 7.0 magnatude earthquake.
I'm two thousand twelve and what is this?
I wonder if everyone here is in the Mountain Time Zone.
I'm disappointed that there are no crossovers of Hatsune Miku and M*A*S*H (nor Korean and Vietnam wars at all).
Oh god, not again. I'm so worried, I might actually get sick.
> I'm two thousand twelve and what is this?
This is going to be my new favourite meme. Well done, >>912-kun.
How could the dog be the leader of the troupe ?
LIEBE!
I want to catch espeon and dress her up like a hipster.
Why the hell did I just ctrl-v into the name field?
>>926
Cute before balls popping out -> rapeable regardless of gender
It isn't "her" if balls pop out.
What if they're ben-wa balls? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?
918 in the CTRL+C CTRL+V made me want a prostate orgasm. PLEASURE ME, DQN.
I know that these anime/manga aren't spectacular in any way, but how in the fuck is Black Cat an alternative story to To Love-Ru?
>>931
Lather a finger in vegetable oil and shove it up your bum. That's what I used to do.
It's really hard to write a rape fantasy when you don't know the sex of the rapee...
>>935
Futa. There's a vagina between the dick and asshole.
Also, why so lewd today /dqn/? Katawa Shoujo giving you dirty thoughts?
>>934
The transition from horny sixteen year-old to apathetic twenty-one year-old has quite effectively annihilated my sex drive.
>>936
Speaking of Katawa Shoujo, I'm playing it right now and one question plagues my mind.
Shouldn't it be called Katawa no Shoujou?
>>937
It's kind of a reversal for me. Maybe I hit my puberty around 20. What if its truuue?!
>>931 maybe we're all linked here in some way, pretty much exactly when that post was posted I was in the shower giving my bumhole a jolly rogering using banana+coconut lotion as lube
Incest is a bitch. Though I suppose it makes life more interesting. Though I suppose it's unethical nonetheless. Though I suppose that even if it plays into the agenda of the highly intellectual child rapists, I don't have much of a choice anyway, apart from fleeing into drug abuse, playing hippy saint. A hippy saint nobody loves, unless they would know the entire background story, which nobody wants to hear.
>>941
So much, "Though I suppose."
Might you have bipolar disorder?
>>938
It should indeed be either that or Katawa na Shoujo, if you are going to use it in a sentence. When it comes to titles, though, Japanese tend to omit the particles they don't deem necessary. Notice how e.g. the Tale of Genji is called Genji Monogatari as opposed to Genji no Monogatari.