We seem to have lost contact with the Control Tower.[grinding noises] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6882 14:51

These are the files. I hope you have everything you need.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6883 00:50

Thank you.

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6883 01:44

Sir, I'm afraid these were not the correct files.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6883 09:45

woop woop woop blat blat blat

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6884 09:33

You awaken on a cold, hard concrete floor. From a radio on the floor next to you, a voice says "We seem to have lost contact with the Control Tower", accompanied by grinding noises. Your inventory contains:

  • Briefcase full of files
  • Radio
  • Handgun
  • 3 bullets
  • Quiche

What would you like to do?

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6884 09:41

>>5
Check if the handgun is already loaded.
Tell the radio to start making sense, or if it cannot transmit or the other guy refuses, shoot it with the loaded gun. If the gun is not loaded, don't bother. Have some Quiche to stop feeling so cranky.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6884 11:28

>>6
The handgun is not loaded. The radio can both transmit and receive, but the person at the other end has stopped responding. The radio is currently just broadcasting grinding noises. You enjoy a slice of quiche lorraine and feel much better for it.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6886 20:47

I examine my surroundings, and try to listen if there are any sounds other than those from the radio. If it's quiet enough to concentrate, I open the briefcase and skim through the files.

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6886 21:08

>>8
You are in a corridor made of concrete. There are numerous metal pipes and ventilation shafts running above your head. To your North is a locked door. To your South, the corridor continues for about 20m before turning a corner. To your East, the ceiling has collapsed and the corridor is blocked by rubble.

You can hear an intermittent dull rumbling noise coming from above and a low hum coming from behind the door to the North.

You open the briefcase full of files. There are roughly a hundred of them. They are all uniform in shape and appear brand new. You are unsure why you have them or what possible purpose they could serve; your fingernails may be getting a little long, but there's no reason why you would need 100 nail files just for yourself.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6890 17:45

I knock on the northern door. If there isn't an answer, I'll try to see if there's a way to pick the door lock with a nail file. If that doesn't work, off to the South I go.

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6890 17:47

>>10
There is no answer and the door resists your efforts to pick the lock.

>S

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6890 20:01

You come across a man lying face down on the floor in a pool of vomit. Judging by the smell and the brown streak on the back of his lab coat, he has soiled himself. There is a crackling noise coming from under his lab coat.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6892 21:20

where going down!!!!

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6892 21:38

You don't know how to where going down!!!!. Please try another command.

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6896 05:34

>>12
Examine ===> Crackling noise.

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6896 10:09

>>15
It turns out to be a geiger counter, which is crackling quite violently. In his lab coat pockets you also find a pencil and a wallet containing a key card and an unrecognisably blurred photo.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6896 10:44

Examine self

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6896 12:12

>>17
A cursory inspection reveals that you are still yourself.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6896 20:15

Take my trousers off

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 07:41

>>19
You are not wearing any trousers. The only things you are wearing are:

  • Full body grey jumpsuit
  • Underwear
  • Pair of glasses
  • Wedding ring

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 10:06

>>19, pick one of >>20 to remove from your possession.

You can get it back when you complete the quest.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 10:34

I remove my dignity.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 17:45

Remove wedding ring
Inspect wedding ring

(what the hell would marry me?)

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 20:58

>>22
You remove all of your clothing.

>>23
It is a plain, unadorned gold ring. The number 925 is engraved on the inside.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 22:25

You write the number down in your journal. Upon this, you notice it's 9:25 PM.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 22:58

use: imagination

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 00:07

You spend a few moments in lala land, imagining all sorts of weird and creative things. Unfortunately they do not have any bearing on situation, and when you come to your senses moments later you are in no better position than before.

The stench of the dead man is beginning to get oppressive. You should get out of here.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 01:54

put face firmly between dead man's buttocks

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 04:10

deeply inhale

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 07:05

You plunge your nose into the dead man's behind. It is clear that the man has, indeed, soiled himself. It seems that he is not wearing any pants or underwear under his lab coat, as you can feel his decaying skin through the thin layer of his shit-soaked lab coat. Some of the moist, bubbly shit even enters your nostrils as you deeply inhale. It is still warm. Your lungs fill with the putrid, intoxicating aroma of feces. You feel dizzy.

You pass out.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 10:06

After an indeterminate length of time, you wake up again to the sound of the geiger counter crackling even more violently. You get the feeling you shouldn't be sticking around here.

To your West is a corridor leading back to where you started, including the locked door. To your East, the corridor continues but it is completely unlit and you cannot see very far.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 15:30

turn off geiger counter
hang out here a little longer

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 17:19

You look for a switch on the geiger counter but find none.

Time passes.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 17:31

You wander, and approach a door. It's locked with a numerical key system.

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 17:50

Enter 259
Enter 529
Enter 295
Enter 952

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 17:54

Enter 5008
Stand on head
Read what you entered

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 18:08

You try to stand on your head but end up falling over and vomiting profusely. You also have a headache. None of the key combinations work because the input requires five digits.

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 19:50

Enter 80005

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 19:51

Enter 91993

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 19:53

Enter 80085
Feel like an idiot

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 19:57

Reminisce about childhood

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6898 22:40

Enter 37337
Enter every number between 00000 and 99999

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6899 00:24

say "xyzzy"

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6899 00:42

>>38-40
None of your entries work, however you succeed in feeling like an idiot.

>>41
You cannot remember your childhood.

>>42
You give up somewhere around 00189. The door remains closed.

>>43
Nothing happens.

In other news, there is an unwelcome rumbling in your bowels.

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6899 01:33

Turn the dead man over and take a shit on his face

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6899 10:42

Ignore symptoms of radiation poisoning
Enter 00190

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6899 14:16

look at floor

48 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6900 18:56

>>9
I love your cover art.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6900 19:36

>>45
You carefully flip over the poor gentleman's corpse and take a thin, watery shit on his face. You do not feel awfully proud of yourself.

>>46
Try as you might, you cannot ignore the pounding headache, nausea, diarrhoea, fever and feeling of light headedness. Desperately, you enter 00190 into the keypad, and...

Miraculously, the door swings open. You rush in and slam the thick metal door shut behind you. The geiger counter ceases crackling as violently moments later.

You find yourself in what looks like an office. On the West wall is a potted plant and a painting of a burning house. The North wall is covered in bookshelves. On the East wall is a desk with a chair and a computer terminal. The screen shows the following:

00:00:49:53

The fourth column appears to be counting down in seconds, giving you just under 50 minutes until the timer hits zero.

>>47
The floor in the office is made of bluish-grey carpet. Outside is is bare concrete.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6901 00:24

Go to computer terminal
Wait 49m 39s
Type Ctrl+C

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6901 13:57

Play a text adventure to pass the time while waiting

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6901 15:41

[grinding noises] DRR DRR DRR

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6901 21:58

>>50
You stand around for 49 minutes and 39 seconds, after which you press ctrl+c. Nothing happens.

>>51
Using the pencil you stole from the dead man's pocket, you write out a text adventure on the wall. It concerns a man who wakes up in a dungeon with worn armour, a rusty dagger and amnesia.

>>52
You make a reference to The Enigma of Amigara Fault and feel very smug about it.

Having wasted this much time, you now have fourteen seconds remaining until the timer reaches zero.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6901 22:32

Unplug the computer

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6902 20:37

Assume the party escort position

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6902 21:09

>>54
The screen goes dead.

>>55
You lie face down on the floor, waiting for a party associate to come. In a sudden flash of inspiration, you realise that this must have been exactly what the man outside was doing!

After fourteen seconds have elapsed, you are vaporised along with the rest of the facility.

GAME OVER
Deaths: 1

(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>49)

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6902 22:21

Break the pot.
Examine the painting.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6903 00:58

>>57
You break the pot holding the potted plant. It spills soil everywhere and yields several sharp looking ceramic shards.

The painting depicts a mock-Tudor style house on top of a hill, which is on fire. It is night, and a full moon is visible in the sky. Flames are spilling out of the windows and through a hole in the roof. The smoke makes an odd spiralling pattern.

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6903 02:45

Type 'HELP' on the computer terminal.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6903 06:43

HELP: unrecognized internal or external command.

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6903 06:54

Examine bookshelves.

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6903 13:22

>>61
You examine the bookshelves. You touch and feel around the spines, brushing away century old cobwebs. Reminiscing of childhood, you recall tales of hidden passages that, upon pulling out the right book, reveal a secret door. However 10 minutes pass, you have no luck, and decided to give up.

When suddenly, resting upon on a stack of text books relating to Lepidopterology, you notice a faint stream of light coming from the second shelf. It must have previously gone unnoticed in your search, due to the low positioning of the shelves.

You pull out a book, and then another. A passage way reveals itself. The light is so bright - a white, almost blinding light - that you can't really make out what could be on the other side of that hole...

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6904 06:24

Look for a piece of smoked glass or something to use as shades, and try to make out what's on the other side by shielding my eyes. Ponder what will protect the place on the other side of the hole from vaporization, and look for suitable shielding material.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6904 06:41

Take the painting.

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6904 20:10

>>63
There is no smoked glass anywhere. The only things visible are what were mentioned in >>49. There is nothing to suggest that the room on the other side of the hole will be protected from vaporisation. All you can make out from here is that the flooring is made of small square white tiles.

>>64
Behind the painting is a hidden compartment, containing a piece of paper on which is written:

Samson 512

You can hear footsteps outside.

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6914 23:42

take footsteps
listen to piece of paper
wear hidden passageway
climb into wedding ring

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6915 21:47

>>66
You systematically fail in every endeavour.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6916 01:06

Walk through doorway with arms outstretched and middle fingers pointing upwards to greet whomever approaches

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6916 10:41

>>68
You attempt to walk through the doorway, but forget that there's a door in the way! What a silly mistake. Whoever it is outside hears you bumping into the door and begins inputting something into the keypad.

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6917 01:24

get naked

smile

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6917 13:59

>>70
You already got naked at >>24. You smile for no reason in particular.

The person outside enters the correct combination into the keypad. The door swings open!

Before you stands a rather threatening looking man wearing grey combat armour. He has a helmet with a visor, so you cannot see his face. Without a word, he points his laser gun at you. He doesn't seem very friendly.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6917 16:05

insult threatening man's mother

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6917 18:52

Will penis into semi-erect state and wink suggestively. Point out you are very much a grower, not a shower.

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6918 10:43

>>72
"You're mother's a wh-- urk!"

He shoots you with his laser gun, burning a huge scorched hole into your chest.

>>73
You cannot feel the lower half of your body, but with your dying breaths you wink one eye in what you hope to be a suggestive manner. Then you die.

GAME OVER
Deaths: 2

(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>65)

75 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6918 12:45

Dear >>755,
If you wind the clocks back a year (1992?), you won't find anything you described. Tripcode users lived in peace with ( ˃ ƒŽ˂). And there weren't any active *channers around, because everyone tried to keep this place a secret. Everyone was happy.

And now there is you, a guy who tries to turn people against me. A guy who deliberately puts himself aside from tripcodes and chan-goers. One might make a logical mistake that you must be a true DQN*. But in reality, you are no better than an average *channer.

You are probably even worse, because your only contribution is a constant nagging and complaining. You should move this to your facebook page, it's better suited for this purpose.
Thank you in advance.

76 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6918 12:47

Sorry, sorry about that. My browser is borken.

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7224 22:32

You come to your senses, oddly aware that an indeterminate amount of time has passed. You feel a sudden compulsion to check first your inventory, then your surroundings.

Inventory:

  • Briefcase full of files
  • Handgun
  • 3 bullets
  • Half eaten quiche
  • Geiger counter
  • Pencil
  • Key card
  • Blurred photo
  • Pair of glasses
  • Wedding ring

You are standing completely naked in a small office. On the West wall is a potted plant, of which the pot has been broken. Also on the West wall, a painting of a burning house has been removed, revealing a compartment with a slip of paper. The North wall is covered in bookshelves. Behind the bookshelves is a secret passage, from which is coming an extremely bright light. On the East wall is a desk with a chair and a computer terminal. The screen shows 00:00:47:26, and the last column is counting down in seconds.

You can hear footsteps outside.

What would you like to do?

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7224 23:21

Take slip of paper.
Attempt to prop chair against door, preventing (or at least hindering) enterence from outside the room.

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7224 23:39

>>78
The slip of paper reads "Samson 512".

You manage to prop the edge of the chair under the doorhandle, but in doing so make a fair bit of noise. The footsteps outside stop, and somebody begins inputting a code into the keypad.

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 00:32

Don the wedding ring, use geiger counter on the quiche, if there is no radiation or the counter is broken eat the quiche, get ready to pistol whip anyone who comes through the door,

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 12:25

>>80
You put the wedding ring back on. The quiche does not appear to be particularly radioactive, so you start shovelling it into your mouth.

You hear the person outside attempt to open the door. The chair holds, and the door remains closed. They type in the code again (during which time you get into position next to the door) then try to open the door again, to no avail.

You hear odd fumbling noises for about thirty seconds, then footsteps running away.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 18:14

Save game.
Remove books, enter bright passage.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 19:56

>>82
Game saved.

You fling the books out of the way with wild abandon and stuff yourself into the narrow passage, eyes screwed tightly shut against the blinding light. Moments later you hear an explosion from the room you just came from; presumably, the man outside used an explosive to open the door.

You emerge from the passage into another room. It is far too bright to see anything at all, but you can grope around. The walls and floor feel like they're made of small square tiles. There is heat emanating from the centre of the room, which is presumably the source of the light as well.

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 20:26

Use Geiger counter to check if light source is radioactive

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 21:28

>>84
The Geiger counter registers some background radiation; slightly more than the office you were just in, but still far less than the radiation around the corpse in the corridor at >>12.

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 22:15

Rearange the matter in my hand to create an anti-light source that absorbs and violently reacts with light.

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7226 05:32

Make use of the nail files, using them to bore your way through that one pesky locked door

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7226 19:48

>>86
You need at least level 10 telekinesis and 50 mana to change the properties of parts of your own body. You currently have level 0 telekinesis and 0 mana.

>>87
The locked door is back at the very start and would be very difficult to get to - not to mention, >>10 already tried and failed.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7226 22:45

Fantasize about a cute girl.

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7226 23:26

GET TROLL

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7226 23:38

>>89
You immerse yourself in a deeply elaborate fantasy about your ideal girl.

She has long, dark hair which she holds up in places with cute little white ribbons. It flows and ripples in the wind like leaves on a tree, yet never becomes dishevelled. Parts of her hair hang down to either side of her head, framing her bright little face, which is populated by small, dainty features, apart from her large bright eyes. When she smiles - as she does often - she instinctively closes her eyes and tilts her head slightly to one side. She usually wears long, beautiful dresses, in simple bright colours, adorned with frills and ribbons wherever possible. She often wears thigh-high socks, and probably some very cute underwear as well, but you wouldn't know about that.

She is a thoroughly wonderful person; fun loving, quick to forgive, always able to see the best in people and possessing a childlike innocence that allows her to take a profound enjoyment from seemingly everyday experiences - a single flower on a road side; a particularly fluffy cloud. Also, she refers to you as "onii-chan" even though you aren't actually her brother.

She secretly has magical powers which she uses to protect everyone from the unknown evils of the night, whilst simultaneously keeping up a façade of living a normal girl's life. She does this not out of vanity, duty or for any perceived reward, but out of the goodness of her heart. She is one of the central characters of an anime series which is hugely successful and loved by all, which enjoys many sequels. In an especially poignant scene in the final episode, it is revealed that she actual-- whoops, looks like you got a bit carried away there. Never mind.

>>90
You cannot locate any trolls.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 02:52

Squint eyes and inspect surroundings.

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 14:49

File myself into a fine dust and become a pathogen, intoxicate the entire facility and then recoagulate in the locked room.

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 15:20

>>92
Even squinting your eyes, you can't see anything at all, so you attempt to inspect your surroundings by touch. You circumnavigate the odd little cubicle you're in, and find that it is octagonal in shape and slightly less than three metres in diameter. You cannot locate any other entrances or exits besides the passage through which you entered. You cannot reach the ceiling.

Against your better judgement, you attempt to touch the light source in the centre of the room. It is hot to the touch, but not scolding. It feels hard, smooth and rounded, like an egg. It is affixed to the floor.

>>93
You file your nails. They look much better. As mentioned in >>88, you require at least level 10 telekinesis and 50 mana to, for instance, convert yourself into a pathogen. Furthermore, you require level 24 healing, level 16 necromancy and 75 mana to convert yourself into dust without dying, even with the use of a tool.

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 15:25

File the light source

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 15:42

>>95
The light source makes a high pitched screeching noise as you abrase it roughly, like an angry violin player. That is, an angry player of violins, not a player of angry violins. As you continue, the light brightens, then diminishes, then starts flickering. Without warning, the whatever-it-was shatters! The light disappears completely, leaving you in pitch darkness. For a moment, all is silent, then a siren starts warbling from somewhere above you. Your ankles feel suddenly cold. You realise that the chamber is filling with water.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 20:20

Say "uh oh"

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7227 23:39

Retrieve arms.
Take pumpkin.
Make a shitty internet reference.

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7228 00:17

Determine by sound and/or current where the water is coming from. Attempt to estimate the height of the ceiling. File teeth to sharp points while waiting for the water level to rise sufficiently to be able to swim towards any exits detected above.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7228 09:41

>>97
You say "uh oh".

>>98
What pumpkin?

>>99
On closer inspection, the floor is full of tiny holes, each about 1cm in diameter. The water appears to be rising from them.
By reaching above you, you attempt to gauge the height of the ceiling. Your hand discovers a series of horizontal bars positioned as to block vertical movement.
You attempt to file your teeth into sharp points, but only manage to file one of them sufficiently before the water has risen to the point where there is barely enough space to breathe.
Your gum is bleeding.
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