These are the files. I hope you have everything you need.
swim back through passage we came in?
>>101
You cannot find it. Judging by the rate at which the water has been rising, the passage has closed up.
enter infinite oxygen cheat
B, R, E, A, T, H, E, 4, E, V, E, R, ENTER
Black out and wake up in a mysterious location.
>>103
An infinite amount of oxygen materialises in your lungs. In an instant, the mass of the oxygen creates such a large gravitational field as to overcome the forces separating the subatomic constituents of each oxygen atom. The mass collapses first into a neutron star, then into a singularity, forming a black hole of infinite mass. You are consumed from the inside out. The room you were in is consumed. The facility is consumed. The planet is consumed. The galaxy is consumed. The universe is consumed. You have destroyed the entire universe.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 3
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>102)
>>104
You lose consciousness. You awaken, still naked, on a carpeted floor. You find yourself in what appears to be a library. To the East and West lie closed doors. To the North and South are bookshelves laden with old tomes on various esoteric fields of science.
There is a wet streak in the carpet leading from your current position to the East, suggesting you have been dragged by someone or something. Your briefcase, and with it everything that was in your inventory, is missing.
Bravely climb bookshelves to the North.
>>106
The shelves form a convenient ladder, and thankfully the structure is weighted such that it doesn't topple over and crush you like a small, stupid insect.
From your vantage point, you can see across the entire ground floor of the library. The walls are all lined with bookshelves, and the space between is filled with densely packed rows of bookshelves similar to the one you find yourself perched upon. To the East and West, there are closed doors, as you saw before. To the South is a large wooden staircase leading to the next floor. To the North is an open door, and what looks like a reception desk, behind which lies a... thing. It's sort of greenish-brown, with small white protrusions dotted around its surface; possibly teeth? From its underside a multitude of tentacles flail and wriggle around, some lying flat against the floor and some clawing at the air. You can see a large, dark orifice where its "head" might be. The entire fleshy mass is pulsating with a regular rhythm.
As you watch, the tentacle thing slithers out of the North exit. You notice that one of its rear tentacles is firmly latched onto your briefcase, which it drags with it.
Save "library-beginning-topOfNorthShelf.sav"
Start taking out books at random and skim the contents.
>>108,109
Game saved.
The books cover a variety of topics, and languages; the vast majority are not written in English, and many are in scripts you don't even recognise. There is no obvious pattern or system as to how the books are organised. Of the books you are able to identify through illustrations, several are on anatomy, with a few books on organic chemistry and atlases of obscure corners of the globe. Those in English are fairly mundane; scientific journals and encyclopaedias, for the most part.
You find one book on the occult, written in what you suspect to be Greek. It is bookmarked at a page showing how to set up a magic circle using salt and candles. Skimming through the rest of the book, the other illustrations are mostly other magic circles or sigils; there is nothing about the tentacled thing.
>>110
Draw the most Tibetan symbols in the book and from memory and chant the summoning of the Azi Dahaka in Hebrew.
Check inventory.
>>111
None of the symbols look particularly Tibetan. You don't have any implement with which to draw symbols, and you don't know how to summon Azi Dahaka.
>>112
The contents of your inventory was in the briefcase, which is currently in the possession of some sort of betentacled creature. You are, however, still wearing your wedding ring.
Luckily I know greek. Hit me.
>>114
You remove your wedding ring and swallow it whole, then begin manipulating your genitalia.
>>115
You come under the influence of a sudden and demonstratively incorrect misconception that you understand how to read Greek. With the hand which is not currently otherwise engaged, you start hitting yourself in the face with the book. You still cannot read any of it.
Check stats/skills
Shout professions of love at creature.
>>117
Health: 92
Mana: 0
Kills: 0
Deaths: 3
Telekinesis: 0
Healing: 1
Necromancy: 0
Thaumaturgy: 0
Pyromancy: 0
Enchantment: 0
Matrimony: 1
>>118
You shout "I love you, tentacled monstrosity!" in the general direction of the doorway you last saw your beloved. For a few seconds nothing happens. Just as you are beginning to think it may be out of earshot, the thing returns through the same doorway it left by. Displaying remarkable speed and agility, the creature closes the distance between the doorway and you in a matter of seconds. It starts making odd intonations, which rise in pitch. The thing extends one tentacle to your face, and caresses it tenderly. Its tentacle is warm, soft and comforting. You feel a profound contentedness as you realise that your feelings are reciprocated. You have found true love.
Take briefcase.
Vomit up wedding ring and propose with it.
>>120
The thing willingly returns your briefcase. It does not appear to have been tampered with, and nothing is missing. Your inventory now contains:
>>121
You turn away, stick two fingers down your throat, and vomit all over the library floor. Amidst the acrid mess and half digested quiche, you locate the shiny gold band. You turn back to your beloved, compose yourself, and mentally prepare the wording of your proposal.
First of all, if you are to become engaged to this unholy monstrosity, you ought at least to know its name. As you are unsure what name it might have, nor do you know if it even has one, you suspect it to be within your rights to name it. Secondly, it seems impersonal to keep calling the creature "it". You could conceivably call it "her", or singular "they". Alternatively, it could be a good opportunity to employ some Spivak pronouns.
Name her.
Continue Masturbation.
Call her "Emily"
>>123
Oh my beloved continue masturbation, you shout getting down on one knee, would you make me the happiest coagulation of orifices on the entire world you lament. She wraps her tentacles around you in a warm embrace. You have a lot of wedding planning to do.
>>124
You call Emily for her, but Emily seems to be out of earshot and you don't know anyone named Emily.
Exit proudly through lobby with new bride.
>>127
Technically, she is your fiancée, not your bride. Pedantry aside, you and Continue vacate the library via the North exit. You find yourselves in a spacious corridor. The flooring is marble and the walls are clad in carved wooden panels. There are various doors branching off to the North and South. To the West, the corridor almost immediately turns South, so you cannot see very far. To the East, the corridor continues for roughly thirty metres before terminating in a large ornate wooden door. The door looks to have been forced open.
Examine Inventory
>>129
You admire your inventory's clear, straightforward and uncluttered GUI (which you pronounce "gee you eye", not "gooey" because you're not an idiot). Each entry has its own hand drawn icon. Hovering over an item displays its name, and right clicking opens a context menu with the obvious sort of options (use, examine, discard, eat, etc.). Items are arranged in the order in which they were acquired, but can be rearranged. You conclude that it's not a bad inventory but might become cumbersome and difficult if you have large numbers of items.
Sashay down east corridor.
Screengrab the inventory, cut out one of the weapon icons, and use it for my Facebook profile picture.
>>131
You suavely make your way down the corridor. Continue follows at your heels. The door at the end is slightly ajar, with scraping marks on the wood suggesting that it has been forced open with a crowbar. On the other side of the door is what appears to be the lower seating area of a concert hall. On the stage is a naked man lying on a large blue cloth. His chest has been surgically laid open, revealing his thoracic cavity. On one side is a set of surgical tools. On the other are his ribs, his sternum and several organs that you cannot identify from this distance. There is remarkably little blood to be seen.
>>132
You require level 5 thaumaturgy and 10 mana to use the "screengrab" ability.
Take surgical tools, they may come in useful.
Feed the victim's externalized organs to bride.
>>134
Three scalpels of various sizes, one pair of forceps, two sets of clamps, one osteotome, one retractor, one pair of surgical scissors, one pair of iris scissors, one sternal saw, one pair of tweezers and a mallet have been added to your inventory.
You hold one of the man's lungs up to Continue's gaping toothy orifice, but she shies away. She shows no interest in the other organs either.
Touch penis
Stop masturbating
Save game
>>138
You stop tugging at your penis. It comes off in your hand. In fact, it appears to have been attached to your body only via duct tape.
Game saved.
Tape penis to corpse
Fellate penis
Ask Continue to descend first
Search the void where your penis used to be for clues
>>143
You point down the staircase. Continue undulates her tentacles and makes cooing noises, then descends. For about twenty seconds nothing happens, then you hear a scream and three gunshots, followed by an ominous silence.
>>144
You sit down and bend over double so as to be able to see where your penis was. The skin appears to peel back about a roughly circular orifice, approximately seven centimetres in diameter. Inside is a pure black void interspersed with small blue-white spots, somewhat like a night sky. Now that it is no longer covered, it seems to be making a quiet low pitched roaring sound. Your gaze is pulled deeper and deeper into the void. The roaring fills your head. You cannot think.
Slowly, gently, your fingers edge closer and closer to the edge of the orifice. You notice it twitch slightly in anticipation. One finger enters, and immediately goes numb. The rest of your fingers, are sucked in, followed by your hand, then your forearm, then your upper body up to your shoulder. The rest of your body is contorted and torn until it fits into the all consuming void. The last of you to enter is your legs. The void laughs.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 4
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>139)
Tape penis to corpse, but wait to see if the floor opens anyway without fellating the penis
Ask Continue to fellate the penis
Sew void in groin together with surgical tools without looking into the void.
>>148
She seems confused by the instruction. She makes uncertain warbling noises, while bobbing her head - or at least the part of her body bearing an orifice - near the man's genitalia. Nothing happens.
>>149
You do not have any thread or a needle. The surgical tools you have found are exclusively those used for taking the body apart.
Plug hole with severed corpse part then fellate the penis
>>151
You cut off the corpse's left foot using the sternal saw. As soon as it comes into contact with the void in your lower body, however, it is sucked in and disappears entirely.
Avoiding the unnatural allure of the void, you stare at the penis. It is quite badly bruised, and covered in purple blotches. The foreskin has split. A clear fluid is leaking from the tip. You fight back your gag reflex and put it in your mouth. It tastes about as good as it looks.
You hear a low rumbling sound. Part of the floor nearby sinks, revealing a staircase descending below.
Shout "Hello?" down the staircase
Ask Continue to look into the void.
Throw the sternal saw down the stairs.
Save game.
>>156
You hurl the saw, frisbee style, down the staircase. It lands at the bottom with a clatter. Whoever it is down there makes a startled yelp and shoots at the saw twice. Neither shot hits.
Game saved.
Laugh loudly and shout down the hole, in a friendly voice: "Hey, sorry, I dropped my sternal saw! Could you bring it up for me?"
View Continue's status while waiting for a response.
Reassure the person down in the hole
Shout threateningly down the stairs,
"There's more where that came from if you don't throw up your gun and come out with your hands up!"
Does the voice sound male or female? Either way, put hands on hips and arch back a bit so that our crotch-void is pointing at them when the come up the stairs
>>162,163
You shout threateningly down the stairs for the occupant to throw up their weapon. Surprisingly, they oblige and toss the gun out of the hole. The gun flies towards your crotch and is consumed by the void.
A man's voice rises from the hole; "Is it alright if I come out?" The speaker, although speaking firmly, has a clear nervous tone to their voice.
Make love to Continue loudly.
Say "Yes I won't hurt you, don't be scared of my pet either, it looks pretty freaky"
And stop pointing crotch-void down hole as we wait for him to come up, we don't want to kill a possible ally yet!
Gnaw on Geiger counter.
>>167,168
Furtively, like a wild animal being offered food, the man emerges from the tunnel beneath the stage. He is fairly short, has unkempt black hair and is wearing a grey jumpsuit. He is holding his hands in the air.
As soon as he catches sight of Continue, he screams and falls backwards onto his rear, before quickly scrambling back to his feet and running away.
>>169
You chew on the plastic casing of the Geiger counter. It comes apart in your mouth. Nestled in the midst of the still crackling components, you find a single bullet. In addition to those in your inventory, you now possess four bullets.
Examine inventory.
Whistle Greensleeves.
Proceed down staircase.
Go back up staircase and shout "Come back! Let's work together!" to man who ran away.
Enter cheat to see Lara Croft naked.
>>171
Your inventory looks much the same as it did at >>130. Perhaps you should try checking your inventory instead of examining it. You whistle a little, not very well. It seems you are out of practice.
>>172
At the bottom of the staircase is a bare concrete corridor leading straight ahead, featureless apart from a few pipes and ventilations ducts in the ceiling. It continues for a few metres before coming to a T-junction. You note that it looks a lot like the corridor you woke up in at >>5.
>>173
You return to the stop of the stairs, where Continue was waiting for you. You shout to the man but, predictably, there is no response.
Blurred photo has been removed from your inventory.
Photo of naked Lara Croft has been added to your inventory.
Show photo to Continue and ask if she considers it sexy
>>175
Continue does not have any eyes, so you cannot be certain whether she can even see the photo. In response to the question, she makes an indecipherable gurgling noise which seems more affirmative than negative.
>>176
You cannot locate any such object. The only things in your inventory are:
Return with Continue to the spacious corridor in >>128. Go East and look cautiously through the large ornate wooden door, gun at the ready.
Draw moustache on Lara Croft with the pencil
Draw a tiny Lara Croft on the moustache on Lara Croft.
Save game, then attempt to shave all moustaches in sight using one blade of the surgical scissors.
Shave game, then attempt to save all moustaches in sight.
>>178
You walk out the large, ornate wooden door leading to the theatre, then turn around and look back through. It looks much the same as you left it. You also hold your unloaded handgun at the ready - ready for what, you don't know exactly.
>>179
You deface the naked Lara Croft picture with a moustache.
>>180
Given the lack of space, Lara Croft's moustache's other, smaller Lara Croft ends up little more detailed than a stick man. Well, you decide, it's the thought that counts.
>>181
You draw a tiny, tiny moustache on Lara Croft's moustache's other, smaller Lara Croft.
>>182
Game saved.
You scrape the pencil marks off the moustaches on the Lara Croft picture. It leaves unsightly marks, but the moustaches are quite thoroughly shaved off.
>>183
Game shaved.
Desperately, you attempt to undo the damage you recklessly caused with the surgical scissors. Alas, it quickly becomes apparent that it is far too late. What have you done? What sort of monster have you become, who simply shaves off a naked woman's moustache without thinking of the consequences? How can you live with yourself now? Tears stream from your eyes as you collapse onto the floor and curl into the foetal position.
Stand up
Give self shake
Hug Continue for consolation
Hug Continue out of love.
Hug Continue Masturbation out of social pressure.
>>185
Eyes bleary and cheeks stinging, you pick yourself up off the floor. You shake yourself and feel slightly more in control for it.
>>186
You wrap two arms around Continue's midriff. She wraps about twenty appendages around your entire body. You are encased like a butterfly in a chrysalis. Her tentacles are soft and comforting and smell like fresh linen mixed with rotting fruit.
>>187
You caress her back (if such anatomical terms apply), and whisper sweet nothings into her... okay, well, she doesn't have any ears, but she clearly seems capable of hearing. At any rate, you tell her you love her.
>>188
You are under no social obligation, real or imagined, to hug Continue. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Kiss Continue on the mouth (or most similar orifice available)
Remove all garments below my waist (my pants and underwear) and spread buttcheeks invitingly.
>>190
The huge toothy maw at the top of her body is not well suited for kissing.
>>191
You have not been wearing any clothes since >>24. Just as you are about to engage in some potentially very lewd antics, you find that precisely 49 minutes and 53 seconds have passed since >>49. You are vaporised along with the rest of the facility.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 6
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>184)
Search for the nearest timepiece to see how much time is left on this save file.
Load >>157.
Shout threateningly down the stairs, "There's more where that came from if you don't throw up your gun and come out with your hands up!"
Get ready to grab the gun that he tosses up.
When he asks if it's alright to come out, reply, "Yes, I won't hurt you. We need to work together to escape from this place."
Politely ask Continue to wait in the spacious corridor of >>128. Blow her a kiss goodbye.
Start a second copy of the game and load >>184.
Head back toward the stairs.
>>193
You search for a timepiece. So focussed are you on your task that you don't notice your surroundings on any level greater than timepiece/not timepiece. You are vaguely aware of passing doorways, windows, possibly stairs? None of it registers.
You come to your senses outdoors in a garden, standing on top of a large metal sundial. It is approximately one metre across and is built into a stone slab in the floor. The sky is overcast (altostratus undulatus), so its gnomon casts no shadow.
To your North is a large circular fountain. There is no water running in it. Beyond the fountain is a tall leylandii hedge. To your West is a gazebo, within which can be seen an ice sculpture of what appears to be a giant magpie with the head of a dog. There is also a table with a white tablecloth and several empty wine glasses. To the East and South are the walls of a mansion. Through a window in the Eastern wall you can see into an office. Inside are several bookshelves, one of which has been knocked over. A person in a lab coat is lying face down on the floor. A computer terminal is visible, which reads 00:00:01:48. The final column is counting down in seconds.
>>194
(Loading >>157.sav...)
(Error: save file missing or corrupted.)
>>195
(Starting We_seem_to_have_lost_contact_with_the_Control_Tower.exe...)
(Error: another version of the application is already running.)
Steal that person's clothes, and search the pockets.
Check the vital statistics of the person.
Panic calmly.
List level 1 Matrimony and Healing spells.