These are the files. I hope you have everything you need.
Reminisce about childhood
Enter 37337
Enter every number between 00000 and 99999
say "xyzzy"
Turn the dead man over and take a shit on his face
Ignore symptoms of radiation poisoning
Enter 00190
look at floor
>>45
You carefully flip over the poor gentleman's corpse and take a thin, watery shit on his face. You do not feel awfully proud of yourself.
>>46
Try as you might, you cannot ignore the pounding headache, nausea, diarrhoea, fever and feeling of light headedness. Desperately, you enter 00190 into the keypad, and...
Miraculously, the door swings open. You rush in and slam the thick metal door shut behind you. The geiger counter ceases crackling as violently moments later.
You find yourself in what looks like an office. On the West wall is a potted plant and a painting of a burning house. The North wall is covered in bookshelves. On the East wall is a desk with a chair and a computer terminal. The screen shows the following:
00:00:49:53
The fourth column appears to be counting down in seconds, giving you just under 50 minutes until the timer hits zero.
>>47
The floor in the office is made of bluish-grey carpet. Outside is is bare concrete.
Go to computer terminal
Wait 49m 39s
Type Ctrl+C
Play a text adventure to pass the time while waiting
[grinding noises] DRR DRR DRR
>>50
You stand around for 49 minutes and 39 seconds, after which you press ctrl+c. Nothing happens.
>>51
Using the pencil you stole from the dead man's pocket, you write out a text adventure on the wall. It concerns a man who wakes up in a dungeon with worn armour, a rusty dagger and amnesia.
>>52
You make a reference to The Enigma of Amigara Fault and feel very smug about it.
Having wasted this much time, you now have fourteen seconds remaining until the timer reaches zero.
Unplug the computer
Assume the party escort position
>>54
The screen goes dead.
>>55
You lie face down on the floor, waiting for a party associate to come. In a sudden flash of inspiration, you realise that this must have been exactly what the man outside was doing!
After fourteen seconds have elapsed, you are vaporised along with the rest of the facility.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 1
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>49)
Break the pot.
Examine the painting.
>>57
You break the pot holding the potted plant. It spills soil everywhere and yields several sharp looking ceramic shards.
The painting depicts a mock-Tudor style house on top of a hill, which is on fire. It is night, and a full moon is visible in the sky. Flames are spilling out of the windows and through a hole in the roof. The smoke makes an odd spiralling pattern.
Type 'HELP' on the computer terminal.
HELP: unrecognized internal or external command.
Examine bookshelves.
>>61
You examine the bookshelves. You touch and feel around the spines, brushing away century old cobwebs. Reminiscing of childhood, you recall tales of hidden passages that, upon pulling out the right book, reveal a secret door. However 10 minutes pass, you have no luck, and decided to give up.
When suddenly, resting upon on a stack of text books relating to Lepidopterology, you notice a faint stream of light coming from the second shelf. It must have previously gone unnoticed in your search, due to the low positioning of the shelves.
You pull out a book, and then another. A passage way reveals itself. The light is so bright - a white, almost blinding light - that you can't really make out what could be on the other side of that hole...
Look for a piece of smoked glass or something to use as shades, and try to make out what's on the other side by shielding my eyes. Ponder what will protect the place on the other side of the hole from vaporization, and look for suitable shielding material.
Take the painting.
>>63
There is no smoked glass anywhere. The only things visible are what were mentioned in >>49. There is nothing to suggest that the room on the other side of the hole will be protected from vaporisation. All you can make out from here is that the flooring is made of small square white tiles.
>>64
Behind the painting is a hidden compartment, containing a piece of paper on which is written:
Samson 512
You can hear footsteps outside.
take footsteps
listen to piece of paper
wear hidden passageway
climb into wedding ring
Walk through doorway with arms outstretched and middle fingers pointing upwards to greet whomever approaches
>>68
You attempt to walk through the doorway, but forget that there's a door in the way! What a silly mistake. Whoever it is outside hears you bumping into the door and begins inputting something into the keypad.
get naked
smile
>>70
You already got naked at >>24. You smile for no reason in particular.
The person outside enters the correct combination into the keypad. The door swings open!
Before you stands a rather threatening looking man wearing grey combat armour. He has a helmet with a visor, so you cannot see his face. Without a word, he points his laser gun at you. He doesn't seem very friendly.
insult threatening man's mother
Will penis into semi-erect state and wink suggestively. Point out you are very much a grower, not a shower.
>>72
"You're mother's a wh-- urk!"
He shoots you with his laser gun, burning a huge scorched hole into your chest.
>>73
You cannot feel the lower half of your body, but with your dying breaths you wink one eye in what you hope to be a suggestive manner. Then you die.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 2
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>65)
Sorry, sorry about that. My browser is borken.
You come to your senses, oddly aware that an indeterminate amount of time has passed. You feel a sudden compulsion to check first your inventory, then your surroundings.
Inventory:
You are standing completely naked in a small office. On the West wall is a potted plant, of which the pot has been broken. Also on the West wall, a painting of a burning house has been removed, revealing a compartment with a slip of paper. The North wall is covered in bookshelves. Behind the bookshelves is a secret passage, from which is coming an extremely bright light. On the East wall is a desk with a chair and a computer terminal. The screen shows 00:00:47:26, and the last column is counting down in seconds.
You can hear footsteps outside.
What would you like to do?
Take slip of paper.
Attempt to prop chair against door, preventing (or at least hindering) enterence from outside the room.
>>78
The slip of paper reads "Samson 512".
You manage to prop the edge of the chair under the doorhandle, but in doing so make a fair bit of noise. The footsteps outside stop, and somebody begins inputting a code into the keypad.
Don the wedding ring, use geiger counter on the quiche, if there is no radiation or the counter is broken eat the quiche, get ready to pistol whip anyone who comes through the door,
>>80
You put the wedding ring back on. The quiche does not appear to be particularly radioactive, so you start shovelling it into your mouth.
You hear the person outside attempt to open the door. The chair holds, and the door remains closed. They type in the code again (during which time you get into position next to the door) then try to open the door again, to no avail.
You hear odd fumbling noises for about thirty seconds, then footsteps running away.
>>82
Game saved.
You fling the books out of the way with wild abandon and stuff yourself into the narrow passage, eyes screwed tightly shut against the blinding light. Moments later you hear an explosion from the room you just came from; presumably, the man outside used an explosive to open the door.
You emerge from the passage into another room. It is far too bright to see anything at all, but you can grope around. The walls and floor feel like they're made of small square tiles. There is heat emanating from the centre of the room, which is presumably the source of the light as well.
Rearange the matter in my hand to create an anti-light source that absorbs and violently reacts with light.
Make use of the nail files, using them to bore your way through that one pesky locked door
Fantasize about a cute girl.
GET TROLL
>>89
You immerse yourself in a deeply elaborate fantasy about your ideal girl.
She has long, dark hair which she holds up in places with cute little white ribbons. It flows and ripples in the wind like leaves on a tree, yet never becomes dishevelled. Parts of her hair hang down to either side of her head, framing her bright little face, which is populated by small, dainty features, apart from her large bright eyes. When she smiles - as she does often - she instinctively closes her eyes and tilts her head slightly to one side. She usually wears long, beautiful dresses, in simple bright colours, adorned with frills and ribbons wherever possible. She often wears thigh-high socks, and probably some very cute underwear as well, but you wouldn't know about that.
She is a thoroughly wonderful person; fun loving, quick to forgive, always able to see the best in people and possessing a childlike innocence that allows her to take a profound enjoyment from seemingly everyday experiences - a single flower on a road side; a particularly fluffy cloud. Also, she refers to you as "onii-chan" even though you aren't actually her brother.
She secretly has magical powers which she uses to protect everyone from the unknown evils of the night, whilst simultaneously keeping up a façade of living a normal girl's life. She does this not out of vanity, duty or for any perceived reward, but out of the goodness of her heart. She is one of the central characters of an anime series which is hugely successful and loved by all, which enjoys many sequels. In an especially poignant scene in the final episode, it is revealed that she actual-- whoops, looks like you got a bit carried away there. Never mind.
>>90
You cannot locate any trolls.
Squint eyes and inspect surroundings.
File myself into a fine dust and become a pathogen, intoxicate the entire facility and then recoagulate in the locked room.
>>92
Even squinting your eyes, you can't see anything at all, so you attempt to inspect your surroundings by touch. You circumnavigate the odd little cubicle you're in, and find that it is octagonal in shape and slightly less than three metres in diameter. You cannot locate any other entrances or exits besides the passage through which you entered. You cannot reach the ceiling.
Against your better judgement, you attempt to touch the light source in the centre of the room. It is hot to the touch, but not scolding. It feels hard, smooth and rounded, like an egg. It is affixed to the floor.
>>93
You file your nails. They look much better. As mentioned in >>88, you require at least level 10 telekinesis and 50 mana to, for instance, convert yourself into a pathogen. Furthermore, you require level 24 healing, level 16 necromancy and 75 mana to convert yourself into dust without dying, even with the use of a tool.
>>95
The light source makes a high pitched screeching noise as you abrase it roughly, like an angry violin player. That is, an angry player of violins, not a player of angry violins. As you continue, the light brightens, then diminishes, then starts flickering. Without warning, the whatever-it-was shatters! The light disappears completely, leaving you in pitch darkness. For a moment, all is silent, then a siren starts warbling from somewhere above you. Your ankles feel suddenly cold. You realise that the chamber is filling with water.
Say "uh oh"
Determine by sound and/or current where the water is coming from. Attempt to estimate the height of the ceiling. File teeth to sharp points while waiting for the water level to rise sufficiently to be able to swim towards any exits detected above.
swim back through passage we came in?
>>101
You cannot find it. Judging by the rate at which the water has been rising, the passage has closed up.
enter infinite oxygen cheat
B, R, E, A, T, H, E, 4, E, V, E, R, ENTER
Black out and wake up in a mysterious location.
>>103
An infinite amount of oxygen materialises in your lungs. In an instant, the mass of the oxygen creates such a large gravitational field as to overcome the forces separating the subatomic constituents of each oxygen atom. The mass collapses first into a neutron star, then into a singularity, forming a black hole of infinite mass. You are consumed from the inside out. The room you were in is consumed. The facility is consumed. The planet is consumed. The galaxy is consumed. The universe is consumed. You have destroyed the entire universe.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 3
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>102)
>>104
You lose consciousness. You awaken, still naked, on a carpeted floor. You find yourself in what appears to be a library. To the East and West lie closed doors. To the North and South are bookshelves laden with old tomes on various esoteric fields of science.
There is a wet streak in the carpet leading from your current position to the East, suggesting you have been dragged by someone or something. Your briefcase, and with it everything that was in your inventory, is missing.
Bravely climb bookshelves to the North.
>>106
The shelves form a convenient ladder, and thankfully the structure is weighted such that it doesn't topple over and crush you like a small, stupid insect.
From your vantage point, you can see across the entire ground floor of the library. The walls are all lined with bookshelves, and the space between is filled with densely packed rows of bookshelves similar to the one you find yourself perched upon. To the East and West, there are closed doors, as you saw before. To the South is a large wooden staircase leading to the next floor. To the North is an open door, and what looks like a reception desk, behind which lies a... thing. It's sort of greenish-brown, with small white protrusions dotted around its surface; possibly teeth? From its underside a multitude of tentacles flail and wriggle around, some lying flat against the floor and some clawing at the air. You can see a large, dark orifice where its "head" might be. The entire fleshy mass is pulsating with a regular rhythm.
As you watch, the tentacle thing slithers out of the North exit. You notice that one of its rear tentacles is firmly latched onto your briefcase, which it drags with it.
Save "library-beginning-topOfNorthShelf.sav"
Start taking out books at random and skim the contents.
>>108,109
Game saved.
The books cover a variety of topics, and languages; the vast majority are not written in English, and many are in scripts you don't even recognise. There is no obvious pattern or system as to how the books are organised. Of the books you are able to identify through illustrations, several are on anatomy, with a few books on organic chemistry and atlases of obscure corners of the globe. Those in English are fairly mundane; scientific journals and encyclopaedias, for the most part.
You find one book on the occult, written in what you suspect to be Greek. It is bookmarked at a page showing how to set up a magic circle using salt and candles. Skimming through the rest of the book, the other illustrations are mostly other magic circles or sigils; there is nothing about the tentacled thing.
>>110
Draw the most Tibetan symbols in the book and from memory and chant the summoning of the Azi Dahaka in Hebrew.
Check inventory.
>>111
None of the symbols look particularly Tibetan. You don't have any implement with which to draw symbols, and you don't know how to summon Azi Dahaka.
>>112
The contents of your inventory was in the briefcase, which is currently in the possession of some sort of betentacled creature. You are, however, still wearing your wedding ring.
Luckily I know greek. Hit me.
>>114
You remove your wedding ring and swallow it whole, then begin manipulating your genitalia.
>>115
You come under the influence of a sudden and demonstratively incorrect misconception that you understand how to read Greek. With the hand which is not currently otherwise engaged, you start hitting yourself in the face with the book. You still cannot read any of it.
Check stats/skills
Shout professions of love at creature.
>>117
Health: 92
Mana: 0
Kills: 0
Deaths: 3
Telekinesis: 0
Healing: 1
Necromancy: 0
Thaumaturgy: 0
Pyromancy: 0
Enchantment: 0
Matrimony: 1
>>118
You shout "I love you, tentacled monstrosity!" in the general direction of the doorway you last saw your beloved. For a few seconds nothing happens. Just as you are beginning to think it may be out of earshot, the thing returns through the same doorway it left by. Displaying remarkable speed and agility, the creature closes the distance between the doorway and you in a matter of seconds. It starts making odd intonations, which rise in pitch. The thing extends one tentacle to your face, and caresses it tenderly. Its tentacle is warm, soft and comforting. You feel a profound contentedness as you realise that your feelings are reciprocated. You have found true love.
Take briefcase.
Vomit up wedding ring and propose with it.
>>120
The thing willingly returns your briefcase. It does not appear to have been tampered with, and nothing is missing. Your inventory now contains:
>>121
You turn away, stick two fingers down your throat, and vomit all over the library floor. Amidst the acrid mess and half digested quiche, you locate the shiny gold band. You turn back to your beloved, compose yourself, and mentally prepare the wording of your proposal.
First of all, if you are to become engaged to this unholy monstrosity, you ought at least to know its name. As you are unsure what name it might have, nor do you know if it even has one, you suspect it to be within your rights to name it. Secondly, it seems impersonal to keep calling the creature "it". You could conceivably call it "her", or singular "they". Alternatively, it could be a good opportunity to employ some Spivak pronouns.
Name her.
Continue Masturbation.
Call her "Emily"
>>123
Oh my beloved continue masturbation, you shout getting down on one knee, would you make me the happiest coagulation of orifices on the entire world you lament. She wraps her tentacles around you in a warm embrace. You have a lot of wedding planning to do.
>>124
You call Emily for her, but Emily seems to be out of earshot and you don't know anyone named Emily.
Exit proudly through lobby with new bride.
>>127
Technically, she is your fiancée, not your bride. Pedantry aside, you and Continue vacate the library via the North exit. You find yourselves in a spacious corridor. The flooring is marble and the walls are clad in carved wooden panels. There are various doors branching off to the North and South. To the West, the corridor almost immediately turns South, so you cannot see very far. To the East, the corridor continues for roughly thirty metres before terminating in a large ornate wooden door. The door looks to have been forced open.
Examine Inventory
>>129
You admire your inventory's clear, straightforward and uncluttered GUI (which you pronounce "gee you eye", not "gooey" because you're not an idiot). Each entry has its own hand drawn icon. Hovering over an item displays its name, and right clicking opens a context menu with the obvious sort of options (use, examine, discard, eat, etc.). Items are arranged in the order in which they were acquired, but can be rearranged. You conclude that it's not a bad inventory but might become cumbersome and difficult if you have large numbers of items.
Sashay down east corridor.
Screengrab the inventory, cut out one of the weapon icons, and use it for my Facebook profile picture.
>>131
You suavely make your way down the corridor. Continue follows at your heels. The door at the end is slightly ajar, with scraping marks on the wood suggesting that it has been forced open with a crowbar. On the other side of the door is what appears to be the lower seating area of a concert hall. On the stage is a naked man lying on a large blue cloth. His chest has been surgically laid open, revealing his thoracic cavity. On one side is a set of surgical tools. On the other are his ribs, his sternum and several organs that you cannot identify from this distance. There is remarkably little blood to be seen.
>>132
You require level 5 thaumaturgy and 10 mana to use the "screengrab" ability.
Take surgical tools, they may come in useful.
Feed the victim's externalized organs to bride.
>>134
Three scalpels of various sizes, one pair of forceps, two sets of clamps, one osteotome, one retractor, one pair of surgical scissors, one pair of iris scissors, one sternal saw, one pair of tweezers and a mallet have been added to your inventory.
You hold one of the man's lungs up to Continue's gaping toothy orifice, but she shies away. She shows no interest in the other organs either.
Touch penis
Stop masturbating
Save game
>>138
You stop tugging at your penis. It comes off in your hand. In fact, it appears to have been attached to your body only via duct tape.
Game saved.
Tape penis to corpse