I'M A COMPUTER (999)

1 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4419 08:10 [no]

STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN'

301 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4432 06:50 [no]

This post BEEPs.

302 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4432 09:31 [no]

parse error at post 302.

303 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4432 10:57 [no]

BEEP

304 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4433 03:39 [no]

↖

305 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4433 03:41 [no]

[Click here to begin]
　　　　　　↖

306 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4433 11:37 [no]

…

307 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4433 11:59 [no]

…

308 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4433 14:18 [no]

BEEP

309 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4434 11:35 [no]

…

310 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4435 14:01 [no]

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

311 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4435 14:12 [no]

…

312 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4435 18:56 [no]

...

313 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4435 19:19 [no]

shutdown -h now

314 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4435 23:32 [no]

This computer has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.

315 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4436 00:25 [no]

:FBI: BEEP :FIB:

316 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4436 06:31 [no]

Centipedes? In MY vagina?

Click here to find out more.

317 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4436 11:23 [no]

…

318 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4436 13:54 [no]

...

319 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 03:13 [no]

RUNDLL32 SHELL32.DLL,SHExitWindowsEx 1

320 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 04:48 [no]

Windows is now shutting down...

321 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 06:18 [no]

Why isn't the anon-name be changed to "BEEP" or something yet?

322 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 08:26 [no]

BEEP IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

323 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 08:58 [no]

…

324 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 14:57 [no]

…

325 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 21:29 [no]

@echo off
set NAME=BEEP
echo %NAME%

326 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4437 21:58 [no]

…

327 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 00:03 [no]

BULLSHIT:

mov al, 0xEF
mov ah, 0xBE
shr eax, 16
mov ah, 0xCA
mov al, ah
ret

; returns:
; eax = 0xBEEFCACA

328 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 10:48 [no]

…

329 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 15:29 [no]

Out of Memory: Killed process 2639

330 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 15:46 [no]

...

331 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 16:18 [no]

331331331331331331331331331331331331331331331

332 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 16:49 [no]

i'm in ur computer

sounding ur BEEP

333 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 18:03 [no]

…

334 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 20:31 [no]

BEEP!

335 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 21:25 [no]

~dqn@4-ch$ ls -laF

336 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 22:22 [no]

...

337 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 22:23 [no]

...

338 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 22:23 [no]

...

339 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4438 22:23 [no]

BEEP!

340 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4440 03:52 [no]

ERROR! Couldn't toggle A20 line.

341 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4440 11:06 [no]

…

342 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4441 03:11 [no]

Protected mode unavailable.

343 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4441 11:21 [no]

BEEP

344 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4441 16:21 [no]

…

345 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 02:24 [no]

listening on port 201630

346 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 08:02 [no]

Port number out of range.

347 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 15:31 [no]

…

348 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 15:35 [no]

...

349 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 17:59 [no]

PING!

350 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 18:03 [no]

Critical Error: Too porn

351 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 18:03 [no]

PONG!

352 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 21:18 [no]

…

353 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4442 21:46 [no]

tennis table not found

354 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4443 11:48 [no]

BEEP

355 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4443 13:41 [no]

computer say#@:- kill humans

356 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4443 15:02 [no]

This post has been brought to you by the letters B, E and P and the numbers 0 and 1.

357 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4444 03:50 [no]

…

358 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4444 22:13 [no]

biip

359 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4444 22:52 [no]

ERROR 207: EXPUNGING GARBLED DATA

PLEASE INSERT ST:TNG ASCII ART_

360 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4444 22:55 [no]

<Press any key to continue>

361 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4445 12:57 [no]

click

362 Name: BEEP 1993-09-4445 13:56 [no]

I just found an actual real computer that goes:

…
…
BEEP

Even when nobody's using it! Unfortunately, it's in the same room that work in, and it's drivin' me nuts, arrrrr.

363 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4445 17:37 [no]

<computer say#@>:- give me pr0n or die

<#@>:- Command Help

<computer say#@>:- nothig can help you ... Muahahahahahahaha

<#@>:- Help (enter)

<computer say#@>:- give me my pr0n

364 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4445 21:33 [no]

...

365 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4445 22:27 [no]

<#@>:- eraser data pr0n*.*

<computer say#@>:- Really, do you want that? Type Yes/No/Error

<#@>:- No

<computer say#@>:- I Love you.

366 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4445 23:39 [no]

>: 4 8 15 16 23 42

367 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 00:48 [no]

For x = 1 to (x+1)

 BEEP

Next x

368 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 01:28 [no]

Program >>367 is not responding. Terminate?

369 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 01:44 [no]

…

370 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 01:44 [no]

…

371 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 01:44 [no]

BEEP

372 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 03:23 [no]

WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA WUBBA

373 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 05:02 [no]

bleep

374 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 05:46 [no]

The computer in my heart eats all your IP.

375 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:12 [no]

<#@>:- Computer, end our relationship.

<computer say#@>:- Really, do you want that? Type Yes/No/Error

<#@>:- Yes

<computer say#@>:- Why, i can change...

<#@>:- ...

376 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:17 [no]

…

377 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:18 [no]

…

378 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:18 [no]

…

379 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:18 [no]

…

380 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:18 [no]

…

381 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 13:18 [no]

BEEP

382 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 14:24 [no]

ELIZA: Hello. Please state your problem.

383 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 15:32 [no]

…

384 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 15:44 [no]

I can't get an erection!!!

385 Name: ☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･*tl;dr*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･*☆!TLDRwjAlhI 1993-09-4446 18:30 [no]

BEEP!

386 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 19:35 [no]

>384: I can't get an erection!!!

ELIZA: Have you tried?

387 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 19:43 [no]

>>386
Get the hell out you moronic bot. You can't even pass a Turing test.

388 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4446 23:53 [no]

…

389 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 00:19 [no]

>>387
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.

390 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 11:44 [no]

>>386
Every moment , miss!!! ...

391 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 13:27 [no]

>>390
ELIZA: Please go on.

392 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 16:29 [no]

…

393 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 16:29 [no]

…

394 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 16:29 [no]

…

395 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 20:30 [no]

…

396 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 20:42 [no]

BEEP
BEEP
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

397 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4447 21:14 [no]

<computer say#@>:- Beep Beep Beep

<#@>:- Help Beep

<computer say#@>:- Beep your Beep, I Beep on your Beep, and you Beep for that emotion.

<#@>:- Beep Beep Beep!!!!!

398 Name: ☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･*tl;dr*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･*☆!TLDRwjAlhI 1993-09-4448 00:39 [no]

A BEEP BEEBELOOBEEP A BEEP BAM BEEP

399 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4448 05:35 [no]

…

400 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4448 11:17 [no]

<computer say#@>:- Beep Beep Beep

<#@>:- Beep

<computer say#@>:- Beep overload

<#@>:- I hate you

<computer say#@>:- Is my job

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