I'M A COMPUTER (999)

1 Name: CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL 1993-09-4419 08:10 [no]

STOP ALL THE DOWNLOADIN'

501 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 14:14 [no]

...............................
...............................
...............................
...............................
...............................
...............................OK!
Please insert Disk 153879 then press ENTER...

502 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 17:08 [no]

BEEP

503 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 17:50 [no]

.......

504 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 19:55 [no]

type HELP for more options.

505 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 20:40 [no]

>help /?

'?' is not recognized.

Syntax:
HELP [command]
　　command - displays help information on that command.

506 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 22:28 [no] 

> help help
HELP provides HELP about your computer.

>

507 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 22:29 [no]

...

508 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 22:50 [no]

…

509 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 23:17 [no]

> help computer

This command is not supported by the help utility. Try "x /?".

510 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 23:54 [no]

/? is an unrecognized option try format c: /u

511 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 23:56 [no] 

format c: /u

512 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4469 23:56 [no]

...

513 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 01:21 [no]

…

514 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 03:48 [no]

BEEP

515 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 22:03 [no]

hey ur not my friend

516 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4470 23:06 [no]

...

517 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 05:09 [no]

. . .

518 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 11:49 [no]

.　　　　.　　　　.

519 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 12:02 [no]

…　…　…　…　…　…

520 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 12:05 [no]

B　　　　E　　　　E　　　　P

521 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 12:54 [no]

...
...
...

522 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 15:33 [no]

...
.　.
...

523 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 20:15 [no]

BEEP
BEEP
BEEP
PEEB
BEEP

524 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 22:15 [no]

HELLO COMPUTER

525 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 22:54 [no]

O.K.

526 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 23:22 [no]

...

527 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4471 23:40 [no]

...

528 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 10:20 [no]

BEEP

529 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 12:55 [no]

GOOD MORNING COMPUTER
PLEASE DIRECT ME TO THE PORN

530 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 13:28 [no] 

+------------------------------------------+
|             The INTERNET                 |
|------------------------------------------|
| URI: http://google.com/search?q=porn     |
|                                          |
| Results 1 - 10 of about 589,458,000 for  |
|  porn [definition]. (0.04 seconds)       |
|                                          |
| Pornography Porn              SPONSORED  |
|   The pornographiest            LINKS    |
|   porn on the Internet                   |
|                              FREE PORN   |
| Porn porno FRRE pron         www.free-fre|
|   Porno teen free 18 XXX                 |
|   adult movies pic pix       PORN REAL   |
+------------------------------------------+

531 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4472 17:17 [no]

porn is hard to filter
porn is free
porn is 'cheating'
porn is bad cash
porn is the biggest download problem
porn is free?
porn is a four
porn is in & out & in & out again
porn is for losers
porn is harming our kids
porn is involved
porn is found here
porn is too accessible
porn is as close as the off button
porn is already illegal
porn is superior to
porn is bad for you
porn is the family business
porn is sorta good for kids
porn is
porn is dead
porn is god and beer is his right hand man
porn is boring
porn is better than prozac for seniors on c
porn is smaller than
porn is king
porn is ok
porn is everywhere
porn is mainstream
porn is better than drugs
porn is faked
porn is prospering
porn is great
porn is shown at workplace
porn is bad folks
porn is a bit much
porn is blessing
porn is in here
porn is moepse lake tahoe casino
porn is israel enormous breast
porn is adultlinks kostenlose erotikbilder
porn is identification youngest amatures
porn is thaisex uncensored porns
porn is only free
porn is lesbienne natursekt
porn is ofoma young clit
porn is "america's game"
porn is for the pigeons
porn is evil
porn is back and takin' requests
porn is fracicone selfsuck gallery
porn is pink
porn is here
porn is atlethes wet clits
porn is pornografia
porn is a portrayal
porn is in & out & in & out again porn is as porn is sorta good for kids porn is found here porn is your big guide to free porn on the internet porn is already
porn is in & out & in & out again porn is as porn is sorta good for kids porn is found here porn is your big guide to free porn on the internet porn is too
porn is way more fun than watching the super bowl by avn's editorial staff 10
porn is full of the fetish signifiers of sexual allure
porn is fake
porn is as high as an elephant's eye
porn is everywhere and lots of people
porn is a mess
porn is 'cheating' by nick farrell
porn is the biggest download problem by officialspin news wire mar 23
porn is now a four
porn is in & out & in & out again
porn is best left to the experts
porn is as close as the off button ellis glazier
porn is unconvincing
porn is superior to trad hetero smut
porn is innovating in another important way
porn is bad for kids
porn is boring by bob levey wednesday
porn is better than prozac for seniors
porn is smaller than gambling
porn is king by nick selby amsterdam
porn is one of the best things in the world
porn is "wrong"? dear dr
porn is as american as apple pie question
porn is going to be an industry
porn is shown at workplace posted by
porn is not bad so long as you don't force it on someone who doesn't care for it
porn is blessing' from the
porn is on the way posted thu
porn is "america's game"
porn is "america's game"' from
porn is for the birds video fight to benefit valley wildlife group
porn is closer than you think
porn is another story

Display more results? Y/N

532 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 11:21 [no]

...

533 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 11:41 [no]

BEEP BEEP PLEASE INSERT COCK TO FLOPPY DRIVE

534 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 13:22 [no]

…>>78

535 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 15:58 [no]

●●●

536 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 18:59 [no]

BEEP

537 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 19:16 [no]

FROM HERE ON YOU SHALL BE MY MAID.
AND IM YOUR MASTER.
YOU WILL DO AS I PLEASE FROM NOW ON.

538 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 19:18 [no]

Starting MaidOS...

539 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 19:45 [no]

>>538 AT LAST THIS THREAD IS ACTUALLY EXCITING

540 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 19:53 [no]

Registering components:
Cooking...
Cleaning...
Laundry...
Other...?

541 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 20:12 [no]

  • "Yeah! How about, you know...."

542 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4473 22:55 [no]

INTERNAL DRIVE SKIDDING; REMOVE BANANA FROM df0:

543 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4474 02:36 [no]

Red Hat Enterprise Linux Test Page

This page is used to test the proper operation of the Apache HTTP server after it has been installed. If you can read this page, it means that the Apache HTTP server installed at this site is working properly.

If you are a member of the general public:

The fact that you are seeing this page indicates that the website you just visited is either experiencing problems, or is undergoing routine maintenance.

544 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4474 12:40 [no]

…

545 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4474 13:06 [no]

■■■

546 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4474 18:20 [no]

...

beep.

547 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4474 20:01 [no]

B
...
E
...
E
...
P
...

548 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 19:51 [no]

BEEP

549 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 01:13 [no]

BEEP ... BEEP ... BEEP ...

550 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 01:15 [no]

BEEP Haiku
By ...

  BEEP ... BEEP ... BEEP

BEEP ... BEEP ... BEEP ... BEEP

  BEEP ... BEEP ... BEEP

551 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 01:27 [no]

...

552 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 03:59 [no]

...FATAL0x48B01A9E21B009000000000000000...

553 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 01:49 [no]

Null Pointer Exception.

554 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 07:38 [no]

Stop spooging all over my keys. ;(

555 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 07:40 [no]

>>553
GA!

556 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 08:06 [no]

Volume df0: has a read/write error.

557 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 09:05 [no]

Insert next volume and press any key to continue.

558 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 13:59 [no]

…

559 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 17:25 [no]

…

560 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 21:44 [no]

BEEP

561 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 21:57 [no] 

You are about to leave en encrypted page. Information you
send or receive from now on could easily be read by a third
party.
[_] Alert me whenever I leave an encrypted page for one that isn't encrypted.

562 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4479 02:52 [no]

CLICK

563 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4479 14:32 [no]

...
echo off
Ranta-tan 2.0.4 beta loaded.

Welcome to Ranta-Tan!

Please register your copy of Ranta-tan today!
This notice will disappear when you register.

　　　　　| ＼
　　　　　|Д｀)　　　No one is here.
　　　　　|⊂　　　　　I can dance now !
　　　　　|

　　　　　♪　　☆
　　　♪　　　／ ＼　　　 RANTA TAN
　　　　　　ヽ(´Д｀;)ﾉ 　　RANTA TAN
　　 　 　　　 (　 へ) 　　　RANTA RANTA
　 　 　 　 　　く 　　　　　　TAN

　　　♪　　　　☆
　　　　　♪　／ ＼　　　RANTA RANTA
　　　　　　ヽ（;´Д｀）ﾉ　　RANTA TAN
　　 　 　　　 (へ　 ) 　　　RANTA TANTA
　 　 　 　 　　　　 >　　　　TAN

Thank you for using Ranta-tan 2.0.4.

564 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4479 19:40 [no]

I AM COMPUTRESS
BOOTY-UP CONFIRMED
TOGGLE :/A TO PROCEED
INSERT FLOPPY

REMOVE, DISK IS CORRUPTED
SHUTTING DOWN
sigh

565 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4479 20:31 [no]

Please insert the disk labelled "Windows XP Professional CD-ROM" into Drive A:
Press ENTER when ready.

http://nolte-net.de/en/article/windowsxp-problem.html
http://nolte-net.de/images/witze/cartoons/microsoft/ori_windowsxp-problem.jpg

566 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4479 22:17 [no]

Hello computer. Please direct me to the internet pornography repository.

567 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 00:14 [no]

Computing................
.................................
.................................
.................................
.................................
OK! >>530

568 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 03:19 [no]

ERROR IN CONDOM.DLL - BUFFER OVERFLOW

569 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 03:36 [no]

Warning, unrecognized ddl: pregnant.dll
Purge?

570 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 03:53 [no]

HELP ME. I'M TRAPPED INSIDE A SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT COMPANY!

571 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 06:00 [no]

You are being hacked. You cannot ignore this message.

You are being hacked. You cannot ignore this message.

You are being hacked. You cannot ignore this message.

You are being hacked. You cannot ignore this message.

You are being hacked. You cannot ignore this message.

You are being hacked. You cannot ignore this message.

...

...

572 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 07:48 [no]

/ignore >>571

573 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 08:22 [no]

Keybidings error in XINE player. Reconfigure/Cancel ?

574 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 21:31 [no]

Spelling error in >>537 at line 1, character 1: keybidings

575 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 22:23 [no]

you care? o.o

576 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4480 22:46 [no]

Error in >>574, bad redirect.

577 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 00:22 [no]

Error in >>576 pointing out imperfections of ugly sack of mostly water.

578 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 01:59 [no]

Error in >>578
SYSTEM ERROR
SOFT BOOT y/n:

579 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 02:33 [no]

Software update
New software is available for your computer.
If you're not ready to install now, you can use the Software Update preference to check for updates later.

iPod Updater 2005-11-17 36.8MB
iPod Updater 2005-11-17 includes new iPod Software 1.1.3 for iPod shuffle. iPod Updater 2005-11-17 contains the same software versions as iPod Updater 2005-10-12 for all other iPod models.
Features of iPod Software 1.1.3 iPod shuffle:
Bug fixes

Security Update 2005-009 1.0 5.9 MB
Security Update 2005-009 delivers a number of security enhancements and is recommended for all Macintosh users.

This update includes the following components:

apache_mod_ssl
CoreFoundation
CoreTypes
curl
iodbcadmin
OpenSSL
Safari
sudo
syslog

For detailed information on this Update, please visit this website: http://www.info.apple.com/kbnum/n61798

580 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 02:40 [no]

LI_

581 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 09:05 [no]

I'm the operator with my pocket calculator
I am adding and subtracting
I'm controlling and composing
by pressing down a special key it plays a little melody

bokuwa ongakuka, dentaku katateni
tashitari, hiitari
sousashite, sakkyoku suru
kono botan oseba, ongaku kanaderu

582 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 13:30 [no]

BEEP

583 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 15:50 [no]

Hey! I can just press "Y"! Hey, Mrs. Doesn't-Find-Me-Attractive-Sexually, I just TRIPLED my productivity!

584 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 16:30 [no]

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

585 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 17:08 [no]

...

586 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4481 20:54 [no]

PING? PONG!

587 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4482 01:31 [no]

[captobv@dqn]$ _

588 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4482 03:02 [no]

PING? PONG!

589 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4482 05:04 [no]

network burp - you got kicked

590 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4482 15:33 [no]

kick burp - you got networked

591 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4483 00:36 [no]

BEEP

592 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4483 02:49 [no]

COUNTERBEEP

593 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4483 13:08 [no]

Terrorist win.

594 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4483 14:38 [no]

No U!

595 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4483 15:15 [no]

cat /dev/zero > /home/dqn/thread/595.dat

596 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4484 02:54 [no]

IF YOU DO NOT POST TO THIS THREAD, THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON.

597 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4485 01:55 [no]

THE TERRORISTS HAVE NOT WON, THEREFORE I ALREADY POSTED IN THIS THREAD

WAIT WHAT

598 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4485 03:20 [no]

C:\DOS>
C:\DOS> RUN

599 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4485 05:09 [no]

rename WORLD_DOMINATION.EXE Patriot_Act.pif

600 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4485 06:56 [no]

rm -rf /usr/home/liberals/

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