[NOVEL] DQN Short Novel [SHORT] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6520 20:59

Add on to this sentence
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In the year 5000, when man is spreading himself across the solar system,

301 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6619 01:37

Sparta

302 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6620 11:11

, attracting the attention of

303 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6620 20:41

Phil Collins

304 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6621 12:03

, the renowned artist, who was out on his morning walk. "Look over there, Peter!" Collins pointed towards the peaks of the mountains.

305 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6621 13:55

Tumbling down the sides of the Alps surrounding the little Swiss town Collins calls home were lots of little

306 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6621 18:13

Detroit. The smell of

307 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6621 18:26

strawberries permeated the air, completely negating the general aura of

308 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6621 20:58

Nk'uko byatangajwe na Perezida w'uyu muryango

309 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 00:17

.

310 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 01:40

Meanwhile,

311 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 13:20

sgd etbj nm

312 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 14:21

the moon, there were two guys

313 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 16:01

"Ȃ" suggested Takakazu Abe, to which Masaki Michishita replied

314 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 16:32

"only if you suck on my left testicle". As it turns out, this was a password which activated the moon for it's true purpose:

315 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 16:40

destroying Clocktown.

316 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 17:33

The citizens of Clocktown were

317 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 17:37

outraged at the prospect of no longer being able to call themselves citizens of Clocktown because they all died.

318 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 18:16

The two moon swelling homosexuals found themselves feeling somewhat

319 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6622 18:17

confused, as the last post would make a lot more sense if I posted "dwelling" rather than "swelling". Anyway, as I was saying, the two moon dwelling homosexuals found themselves feeling somewhat

320 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6623 02:50

lonely, as they weren't aware of each others' presences on the moon, so they spent their time with creative pursuits, one in art and the other in music.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltal188J5c1qbs6e9o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1319078913&Signature=V5S2IM2eLW3XJ5UmLrNRDZUOcuc%3D

321 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6623 15:53

Somebody might ask, "But where exactly were dokyuns?"They were here: ttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Pale_Blue_Dot.png

322 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6623 23:45

There were billions and billions of dokyuns, all of which

323 Name: ( ) : 1993-09-6624 02:20

were NEET and petite rather than sweet or l33t.

324 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6626 20:46

However, the dokyuns had failed to take into account the

325 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6626 20:59

big fat

326 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6627 01:35

chance of having Gradius III arcade machines rain down from the sky.

327 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6627 02:11

Suddenly, a ghast/metroid shit comes out and starts shooting fireballs.

328 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6627 18:10

Phil Collins

329 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6627 19:29

took a direct hit to the face, causing

330 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 02:54

massive internal bleeding

331 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 03:07

The rest of this story may be accessed by platinum members on my website. We now bring you to

332 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 04:06

Gay Gary's Gulag of Gaping Gaynus

333 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 10:31

Penis

334 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 12:03

festival, run by kind volunteers from the quaint town of

335 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 15:47

Cocksuck, Alabama, which strangely has more homosexuals than

336 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6628 22:31

one might expect of a town whose entire population is female. The festival lasted three days and

337 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6629 23:01

had to be ended prematurely because of

338 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6630 01:49

GAY MAGIC

339 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6630 23:34

The cancellation of the festival prompted an outcry from the

340 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 00:56

gayness in yer anus.

341 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 04:32

And so, while gay disease was protesting on Uranus, our hero took

342 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 14:04

a massive diarrhea dump

343 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 14:17

and then posted about it on the internet. Many people

344 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 14:40

were honoured to look at included pictures and many were

345 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 18:30

not. Meanwhile, in Gensokyo,

346 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 20:21

Reimu and Marisa stared at the screen in disbelief, then closed the browser and turned off the computer, slowly shaking their heads.

THE END

347 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 21:41

Or... is it?

348 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6632 22:49

No - that happened back at >>140 and again at >>222. Now, as I was saying:

349 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6633 00:38

THE END fell from the sky, bringing the GSL down with it.

350 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6633 14:06

Then Porky Pig busted out of a drum and said

351 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6633 15:11

"I'M ON DA POWDAH, I'M REAL COKED UP!"

352 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6633 20:30

"YOU GOT PLENTY HENNESSEY SO FILL UP MY CUP!"

353 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6633 20:36

The powder he referred to was, of course, actually

354 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6633 21:01

raspberry creamola foam.

355 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6634 02:03

HOT STRIPPING COEDS

356 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6634 11:34

was written in huge neon letters outside the institute of

357 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6635 02:35

GAY MAGIC

358 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6635 07:23

AND RAINBOW TOLERANCE

359 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6635 16:26

, foretelling the coming of a veritable smorgasbord of

360 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6635 23:41

big dicks of all colors

361 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6637 04:36

drifting across the blue sky

362 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 18:17

"Phallus sighted off the starboard side!" shouted

363 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 18:31

captain Gay Sparkle, "Brace for

364 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 18:37

surprize buttsecks," he giggled.

Then the entire novel died of AIDS.

THE END

365 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 19:22

THE BEGINNING

366 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6646 20:00

of something beautiful - Doctor Fujiwara strolled confidently into the hospital room and spoke in a calm, controlled voice: "I have found the cure to AIDS, Mr DQN Short Novel. We will be starting treatment immediately."

"That's wonderful!" gasped DQN Short Novel, "But what is the treatment?"

Doctor Fujiwara arched an eyebrow and replied "Well,

367 Name: John Macramé : 1993-09-6648 08:55

first we must engage in a change of subject so deliciously subtle that somebody who is not really paying attention won't notice. By the way, your horse is on fire."

368 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6652 20:46

The horse in question was being

369 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6652 22:41

raped by one of those magma demons that were raping Sakura in that recent Zone flash. Coincidentally,

370 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6653 19:20

the demon was actually Doctor Fujiwara's estranged brother. Upon seeing him for the first time in decades,

371 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6654 15:46

everybody else then caught on fire and died.

372 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6654 16:23

But then they all came back to life and engaged on proper festivities to commemorate the reunion of Doctor Fujiwara and his brother. Mr DQN Short Novel, however,

373 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6654 23:32

was a bit pissed off about >>364,371 trying to ruin the novel and therefore didn't participate in the festivities. Instead he started

374 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 08:19

>>373 ruined the story with this really gay and stupid post, making Doctor Fujiwara turn into a flaming homosexual and having sex with ducks and shit. >>373 sucks!

375 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 14:57

>>373 sucked so hard, in fact, that

376 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6655 16:34

>>373's hoover felt obsolete and deactivated itself.

377 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 22:19

Surveying the scene from afar, a young girl sighed dramatically and said to herself "

378 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6660 22:26

", for she was mute. All her life she had wished for an opportunity like this to arise, but now that it had, she was decidedly unsure of herself.

379 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 02:51

Suddenly, Reimu showed up and said "dayuum gurl, u fine!" "Wanna go back to my place?". The mute girl remained silent, unable to respond. Then, gave a soft nod and went along.

Reimu thought to herself: "I hit the fuckin' jackpot!". Thinking of all of the lesbian sex she was about to have.

End of Chapter 2

Chapter Three: Where the fuck is the plunger, and should ▇▇▇▇'s tanooki costume have gigantic balls attached to the front to add realism to it?

DQN-kun was busy trying to put on a third mitten when

380 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6661 22:07

the mitten came to life, exclaiming "Please DQN-kun, let me

381 Name: Not!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6662 01:30

touch Espeon

382 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6662 06:29

penis

383 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6662 09:32

with penis

384 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6662 17:07

"Certainly not!" replied DQN-kun, "That Espeon is a bad influence! I don't want you seeing her again, let alone doing any kind of frottage. Do I make myself clear?"

The mitten looked sorry for itself and

385 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6663 00:57

decided now would be a good time to engage in one of those Touhou marathons he was so fond of, but

386 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6663 19:35

felt like swimming in a pool of grease

387 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6664 23:32

while dressed as a penis

388 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6664 23:58

in a condom. However the mitten's healthy exercises were interrupted by a gentle touch of Espeon's penis who opposed DQN-kun's idea of

389 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6665 01:27

waifu selection

390 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6666 02:22

, thus causing an internal combustion to take place in the region of his

391 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6666 03:27

penis

392 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6667 11:49

And that was when Honorable Chairman George Bush CXXVIII appeared and decided to finally enact his secret plan that he had kept quiet all along...

393 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6667 19:06

He then summoned godzilla and stood on it's head whilst donning a frilly dress and a Touhou hat, which gave him Touhou powers.

He was stronger than Batman, Super Man, The Hulk, and Woody the Woodpecker, when

394 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6667 19:51

Batman, Super Man, The Hulk, Woody the Woodpecker, Reimu, Marisa and 1000 lawyers teamed up and collectively challenged him to a spellcard battle. Honorable Chairman George Bush CXXVIII had no choice but to

395 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6667 22:46

write a lengthy post about it on his livejournal, but before he could do so

396 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6668 00:00

the CLASS ACTION spellcard forced Honourable Chairman George Bush CXXVIII off blogosphere

397 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6668 01:45

But his plans would not be foiled so easily.

398 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6668 17:56

"You haven't seen the last of me!" he threatened, "I'll be back to steal the 500 GET, mark my words!"

Nobody was actually listening to him, because they were all distracted by

399 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6668 18:17

the upcoming 400 GET, which was going to change everything, again.

400 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6668 22:59

( E-E) 400 get.

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