These are the files. I hope you have everything you need.
Tease the horrifying tentacle beast because that would probably be hilariously deadly.
Squeal in joy about how kawaii your new friend is.
Orient my central chakra towards Jupiter and cast lvl 10 general protection. Rearrange my party so that sensei takes the lead, as he wields the strongest weapon. Set continue-chan on defense mode and end my turn.
>>377
Sensei, who has not yet noticed the giant tentacled creature, responds with a derogatory snort. "Law indeed! Really, it's little more than a rule of th-- Argh! Aaaargh! Oh dear god, no!" Sensei, having seen something he didn't want to, collapses onto the floor in the foetal position, quivering and murmuring to himself. He appears to be too overwhelmed by fear and zetsubou to help you much now.
>>378
You start walking into the field, preparing to taunt the thing, but you barely make it two steps before Continue-chan (who appears by now to be expecting your bizarre and nonsensical behaviour) tackles you to the ground and berates you for your reckless and potentially disastrous conduct. "Dame! That's dame, Conundrum-chan! Zettai dame!"
>>379
You're not sure Sensei really counts as a friend yet, and although he's certainly atama ga ii and rather kakkoii, he isn't particularly kawaii to the casual observer. You give a light squeal anyway, just for good measure.
>>380
You don't know where Jupiter is relative to your current position, so you just lie on the ground and point your solar plexus at the sky. You require level three thaumaturgy, level one healing and 50 mana to use the general protection ability. You currently have level zero thaumaturgy, level four healing, 65 mana and one unallocated skill point.
You can't convince Sensei to move to the front of your party, so instead you and Continue-chan stand behind him. You tell Continue-chan to only fight if she's attacked first. She looks rather troubled by this instruction, but finally nods in assent.
You end Jack Conundrum-chan's turn. You are now playing as Masturbation Continue-chan.
List available skills and have confusing thoughts about Jack-chan.
Throw Jack into an infinitely deep hole
Be Gamzee.
The the gram gibzie
Be gramsi at Sensei
Put salt in Jack's eyes
death metal plays in the background
Transform into horrorterror form so you can fight the tentacled thing fair and square.
Propose to the tentacled thing.
>>388
That would be a hidoi thing to do! Even the thought of doing something like that to the person you love makes you squirm in discomfort. Oh my, did you really say "love"? Golly gosh, is this how you truly feel about Conundrum-chan? You are so swept up in the ensuing emotional gravity wave that you forget you ever had an urge to put anything in anyone's eyes.
>>389
The tentacled thing stops abruptly and makes a painfully high pitched screeching noise. You aren't sure why or how, but it seems vaguely reminiscent of the sound of an electric guitar, only heavily distorted. It begins to violently beat its tentacles against its lower body at a very fast tempo. Though one would expect a solid sound, it instead sounds as though the body is hollow, like a bass drum. From behind you, Sensei sits bolt upright and begins to speak in an impossibly deep, throaty voice. "We're all gonna die!" he expounds. The drumming and screeching intensifies.
This is all very kowai to you. You instinctively grip Conundrum-chan's arm in fear. She also appears scared.
>>393
You have a very odd feeling, as though continuity was just violated (continuity, not Continue!), and, at that very moment, are filled with a strange sense of calm confidence. You stride purposefully into the meadow. The tentacle thing turns to face you, a seething mass of teeth, wiry appendages and hatred. It stops screeching and drumming for a moment to listen to what you have to say. "Konnichiwa, tentacle monster-san," you begin, "If it's okay with you, could you please fuck off?"
The tentacled beast is not amused. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" it replies, plucking you off the ground like a little flower.
>>390
You require level 12 telekinesis, level 5 healing, level 5 thaumaturgy and 75 mana to shapeshift.
>>391,392
You call to Sensei and ask him for a ring, but there is no response. "T-Tentacle monster-san," you say, "Will you m-ma--" You are interrupted by a plethora of tentacles, which proceed to - oh god, I can't watch - the horror! The horror! - oh, how abhorrent! Mercifully, you pass out from pain fairly quickly. The thing continues to play with your body for a while, then gets bored and eats you.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 13
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>387)
As you are standing at the edge of the field, gazing silently at the tentacled creature and at a loss as to what to do, you happen to turn around to see Sensei. He is gripping the handgun, and pointing it at the thing. His hands are shaking violently. If he shoots, it will likely attract the attention of the thing, and you have reason to suspect that it isn't friendly.
Put salt in your eyes
Be Sensei.
Grab Conundrum-chan's hand and make a run for it while Sensei distracts the thing.
Put salt in sensei's eyes before letting him bait the thing, just in case.
>>395
You cannot find any salt, nor for that matter can you find any reason to put salt in your eyes.
>>396
You are now playing as Dr Alexei Fujiwara (otherwise known as Sensei).
>>397
As you see the thing approaching, you stand up and give yourself a brisk shake. You can't stay here, not with that thing so close. Before you can make a run for it, however, you must ensure the safety of your accompanying nymphets, and somehow discourage that nightmarish beast from following you. A daring and heroic keikaku coalesces in the back of your mind. You tug at Conundrum-chan's hand - as Continue-chan is holding her other hand, both are pulled along - and the three of you begin to run away. Simultaneously, you throw the handgun as hard as you can into the field in the opposite direction. Hopefully, the thing will choose to investigate the weapon where it lands rather than follow you, in which case you won't need a weapon anyway. In all honesty, you were rather nervous about being in possession of such a dangerous item in the first place, and doubt you'd've had the nerve to use it.
Unfortunately, the tentacled thing proves better at reverse plotting aerial trajectories than you anticipated, and immediately gives chase, with a bloodthirty screech that exponentially rises in intonation. It displays remarkable agility and speed, dragging itself forward with its fore tentacles, moving about as fast as you can sprint.
You are running parallel to a hedgerow which marks the boundary of the meadow. A few metres ahead is a small wooded area, followed by a downhill slope leading to a road. On the other side of the road are the back gardens of some semi-detached houses. The tentacled thing is close at your heels, and, given your state of fitness, you won't be able to keep up your current pace for long.
>>398
You're in a field! There's no salt here - none! None at all! Even if there were, you wouldn't rub it in your eyes, nor anyone else's!
Find salt and put it in your eyes. Then Jack's eyes for good measure
run along the road and jump in front of the first vehicle we see!
check inventory/skills
Stay salty.
Lecture tentacled horror on Gandhi's theories of passive resistance.
Lecture tentacled horror on Ohm's theories of passive resistance.
Lecture tentacled horror on Danny's theories of salt in your eyes.
>>400
Mid-sprint, you spy something small, blue and cylindrical sticking out from the hedgerow, and grab it hoping that it might aid your escape. It reveals itself to be a container of "Reduced Sodium Salt". Ah, what a miracle! Manna from the gods! (Though surely, you think to yourself, it's oxidised sodium, not reduced). Yes, you know exactly what to do with this. Your eyes have gone saltless for far too long. You pour a little of that miraculous white powder into the palm of your hand, and, with a flick of the wrist, soon feel that sweet stinging release as the crystals abrase your corneas. Your vision blurs with tears and you blink by reflex. Some salt gets caught under your eyelids, causing unbearable itching and pain. You can barely see any more.
"Here, Conundrum-chan!" you shout, tentacle beast still mere metres from your precious orifices, "Rub this in your eyes!" You throw her the container. She does as instructed, and is soon in as much pain and tears as you are.
>>401
You run towards the road, or at least where you think the road is, but end up running head first into a tree. You fall flat on your back. Foolishly, Continue-chan and Conundrum-chan stop where you do. "Are you daijoubu?" asks Continue-chan, having seemingly forgotten why the three of you were running in the first place. She is soon reminded, as are you and Conundrum-chan, as the thing picks you all up and has its wicked way with you all. After experiencing a lifetime's worth of pain and humiliation, your entire party is killed and eaten.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 14
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>399)
>>402
Your inventory is empty, barring what you are currently wearing: a plain black dress shirt, black trousers, grey underwear, odd socks (one brown with an argyle pattern, the other white with red patches on the heel and toe), black shoes and a small, functional wristwatch on your left wrist. You currently have level one healing, level one matrimony and level three theoretical physics. The following skills are available to you:
>>403
Thankfully, your body is already quite adept at maintaining correct electrolytic balance. You haven't been sweating or urinating heavily, so you're probably salty enough already.
>>404
You turn around and begin to tell the tentacled horror about the principles and history of nonviolent action. The thing interrupts and presents the counterargument that this approach fails to work when you are in life-or-death situations. It expresses this not in words, but in actions, by picking you up and committing various unspeakable acts of depravity upon you and your party, then eating you all.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 15
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>399)
>>405
You turn around and begin to tell the tentacled horror about the so-called Ohm's law, which, of course, is hardly a law, as it fails to encompass many electricity related phenomena such as electrical breakdown. The thing interrupts and tells you that it believed Ohm's law to be more or less infallible, and how upset it is to have been lied to thus. It expresses this not in words, but in actions, by picking you up and committing various unspeakable acts of depravity upon you and your party, then eating you all.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 16
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>399)
>>406
You turn around and begin to tell the tentacled horror about how and why people put salt in their eyes. The thing interrupts and tells you how upset it is that it has no eyes, and thus can't experience rubbing salt in them. It expresses this not in words, but in actions, by picking you up and committing various unspeakable acts of depravity upon you and your party, then eating you all.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 17
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>399)
Eat tentacle monster.
Salt the tentacle monster as you start eating
Grab Jack, pull down her panties and point her crotch at the tentacled thing.
Be the tentacled horror.
Pour salt on the tentacled horror in hopes that it will get homesick and go back to the salty ocean
>>409
You try, and fail, to eat the tentacle creature, due in no small part to a general unfamiliarity with trying to eat living creatures, especially those larger than you.
>>410
Even pouring salt on it doesn't help. The thing, seeing your difficulty, aids you by giving a demonstration of how to eat living beings - even including a little pre-dinner entertainment - by picking you up and committing various unspeakable acts of depravity upon you and your party, then eating you all.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 18
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>399)
>>411
In a fit of desperation, you commit the most ungentlemanly act of your life, and, ignoring poor Conundrum-chan's screams and protestations, you displace her frilly pantsu, flip her skirt up and point her lower body at the fast approaching wall of tentacles. The innumerable sadistic, groping appendages wash over the two of you like a breaking wave in a storm, then - unbelievably - begin to withdraw! The horrifying mass is sucked into Conundrum-chan's crotch like evil, murderous tagliatelle. Conundrum-chan screams in horror. Continue-chan screams. You scream. The tentacle monster screams.
Then, a strange calm descends upon the scene. The creature is no more. You fall to the ground, breathing heavily and overwhelmed with relief. Conundrum-chan gives a startled yelp and pulls her pantsu back up.
>>412
Having just become responsible for the death of a sentient being, you spend a few moments reflecting on mankind's place in the world at large. You contemplate the so-called Holocene extinction; the vast amount of death wrought by mankind, starting 12,000 years ago. As humans spread their taint to each continent in succession, so each continent lost its megafauna - woolly mammoths, elephant birds, countless species of simian and felid - and thus lost any natural equilibrium and a substantial amount of biodiversity forever. Yes, you think to yourself, humanity is the true monster. We are all the tentacled horror.
>>413
You feel a sudden urge to pour salt on the tentacle monster but, of course, it is gone. Perhaps it was the last of its kind. Perhaps you are now responsible for its extinction. You pour a little out on the ground by way of a libation, as a single tear traces a line down your cheek.
Ask Conundrum if you can keep her pantsu.
Pour salt in Jack's crotch
Who received the skill point/mana for killing the tentacled horror?
While heading toward the forest for safety, explain as quickly as possible to Conundrum and Continue the events leading up to the dimensional collapse.
Set your name to "Player 1"
>>415
Conundrum-chan looks at you with shock, followed by a sort of uneasy mixture of disgust and fear. And yet, she finds that she cannot disobey. She removes her pantsu and hands them to you, avoiding eye contact and blushing with shame. Continue-chan looks on silently. A pair of frilly white pantsu has been added to your inventory.
>>416
As she is still next to you, you carefully, but firmly, push her to the ground and flip her skirt up with the intention of pouring salt into her crotch. Unfortunately, as soon as you catch sight of what lies beneath, you lose control of your actions, and succumb to the bewitching, hypnotic wiles of the void. Soon, you go the way of the tentacle monster. You probably deserved it as well.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 19
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>414)
>>417
You know you certainly didn't. You aren't sure how these things work; perhaps it only counts if you kill it directly, or maybe... maybe it isn't dead.
>>418
Having quite thoroughly forgotten what you came to the meadow for in the first place, you walk into the small forested area ahead of you while telling the two onna no ko as much as you know about the cause of the dimensional collapse, which is very little: the portal core and failsafes somehow failed, and then the dimension collapsed. The end.
>>419
You feel a tug at your sleeve. Continue-chan looks up at you, clearly so dokidoki and hanikami that she has difficulty getting the words out. "Anou, Sensei, shouldn't we go try the c-computer?" Yes, you agree, you should. The three of you walk back to the - thankfully vacant - field.
In order to get it working again, you elect to carry the computer all the way back to the chuugakkou and use it there. It's heavy, and a long way to carry, but between the three of you you finally make it. Sat in the IT room, the setting sun casting an orange filter over everything in sight, you plug in the computer and switch it on - it works! Now, to attempt to communicate with the contact tower. Hmm, you think to yourself, perhaps you didn't think this out very well; after the dimensional collapse, the universe was largely reconstructured, and there's every chance the control tower - or, for that matter, the entire facility - is no longer extant.
Cautiously, with heavy keystrokes, you attempt to connect to the facility intranet. The webpage loads slowly, excruciatingly slowly, redirects several times, and, at last, resolves to a login page. It requires a username and a password. There is nothing else displayed on the page.
>>420
Your name is now Player One.
Put salt into Jack's crotch with a blindfold on
Log in with the following:
username: username
password: password
If that doesn't work, try:
username: admin
password: password123
username: emanresu
password: drowssap
Enter the username and password with your nose, because the nose knows.
username: ' or '1' = '1
password:
Wait 5 minutes, clear the cookies, and refresh the page.
Ponder whether the game is broken since sensei was definitely about to start typing ' or '1' = '1
Type "Player 1", hit enter, type "ASS", hit enter.
Summon The Mighty Dongoloid
Unplug and replug the computer and mash random keys while it starts up.
Combine Q-Bert and Diviner Sensation to summon Key Fairy.
>>430
You sit around for five minutes twiddling your thumbs, Continue-chan and Conundrum-chan staring daggers at you the entire time. The webpage is the same as before, with the same condemning message.
>>431
This login setup is not something most people would consider a game, but you are not most people. You wonder if it's broken, because you clearly intended to type in more than a single apostrophe, even if the rest slipped your mind at the time. Yes, you think to yourself, the login screen should process not what you enter, but what you intend to enter. It's the login game's fault, really. That's much easier than accepting the blame yourself.
>>432
The username and password entry fields are greyed out, so nothing happens when you type.
>>433
You have no idea what this "mighty dongoloid" is, let alone how to summon it.
>>434
You give the power cord at the back of the computer a firm tug, and the screen goes dead. You plug it back in, press the power switch and, throughout the startup sequence, run your hands over the keyboard like an inexperienced but overenthusiastic jazz pianist. You end up opening the boot menu. It is set to boot from the hard drive by default, the other options being to boot from CD-ROM, USB or LAN.
You hear an exasperated sigh from behind you. Continue-chan grabs you by the shoulders and turns you to face her. "You utter baka!" she accuses, slapping you as hard as she can in the face. Your right cheek stings. "You incompetent aho!" she smacks you again, with the other hand, this time. Conundrum-chan looks on, at a loss as to what to do. "You useless unko-for-brains!" She pushes you to the floor and pins down your arms with her legs, then hits you in the face again. "What the hell is wrong with you, you subhuman piece of kuso!" Smack! "Just die!" Smack!
She pulls something from the back of her skirt - a knife - and presses the sharp edge against your jugular. She leans in close and whispers in your ear, in a low, monotone voice, "Stay away from the computer, and let me sort this out. Go sit in the corner of the room and stare at the wall. Don't say anything. Don't do anything. Don't even look at anything." Once she sees she has thoroughly broken your spirit, she lets you get up and cower in the corner of the room, tail metaphorically between your legs.
>>435
You don't know what a Q-Bert is, but you certainly aren't in possession of one. The only sensations you have are shame, embarrassment and pain. You don't know what a "key fairy" is, nor how to summon one.
As you're busy sitting in the corner thinking such stupid and useless things, Continue-chan restarts the computer, installs TOR and attempts to connect to the intranet via another exit node, with apparent success. She types something in, evidently believing it to be the correct username and password, and is surprised and disappointed to find that it's incorrect.
Be Jack again.
Put salt on the computer
Check inventory...where did that knife come from?
Since computer is now connected to the internet, go to http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1341413503/l50 on the browser, enter the following:
"Desperately, Conundrum-chan mashes her head against the keyboard and presses enter. And surely enough, the prompt on the screen now reads "Login Successful". Also everyone gains massive experience points and Continue-chan learns Solarbeam"
Hit Reply.
Pretend that you are Spider-Man.
Check for other installed programs on the computer besides the web browser.
>>437
You are now playing as Jack Conundrum-chan.
>>438
You are not in possession of any salt.
>>441
You politely ask Continue-chan for brief access to the computer, and she soon acquiesces. You navigate to this very thread and type out an absurd, delusional but oddly comforting post, well aware that nothing could possibly come of it. Once you finish writing, you click reply.
Wrong verification code entered.
>>442
As Continue-chan returns to angrily manipulating the keyboard, you decide to amuse yourself by pretending to be one of those amerikajin superheroes. You jump around the room, shooting imaginary spiderwebs from your wrists and uttering poignant lines about personal responsibility. Neither Continue-chan nor Sensei spares you a single glance.
>>443
You walk over to the computer again, with the intention of checking what other programs are installed. Rather than step aside, Continue-chan turns to you with an odd look in her eye. "I love you, Conundrum-chan, I really do..." she says slowly. You are frozen in place, and your small maidenly body is filled with dokidoki feelings. "But... you've become awfully bothersome, Conundrum-chan. I loved you more when you stayed out of my way." She stands up, a crooked smile on her face, eyes gleaming like the knife in her hand. "Don't worry Conundrum-chan, just close your eyes and I'll make sure nothing like this ever comes between us again..." She takes a step towards you, blade at the ready.
Masturbation Continue-chan has left your party, and is no longer a playable character.
Close your eyes.
Sing "Never gonna give you up."
Tackle Continue-chan's torso to knock her to the ground, pin down the hand holding the knife, and kiss her while applying enough pressure to her wrist that she loosens her grip. Grab the knife and raise the knife while chanting ritualistically to the blood god, then stab her in the heart.
If that doesn't work, just point our crotch at her.
Preemptive self-heal cast! Counterattack by slapping her across the face!
>>445
You close your eyelids and yield yourself to your beloved, willing to bear anything she might do to you, for her sake.
>>446
Having accepted your fate, you begin to sing, under your breath, a song - a beautiful song, about full commitment, understanding of feelings, honesty, about the endurance of love; about everything that's important to you. You feel a pressure about your upper body - Continue-chan is hugging you tightly, and sobbing quietly. "C-Conundrum-chan, is that truly how you feel about me? I-I... aishiteru, Conundrum-chan. Let's be together forever." You stroke her back, your ai surpassing the need for words. The two of you stay like that for several long, slow moments, bathing in one another's warmth and affection.
>>447
With no warning, you let go of your beloved Continue-chan and push her to the ground. You pounce upon her, grabbing her hand with the knife - which she makes no effort to hold onto - and clamping your lips onto hers. You kiss her passionately, almost violently, experiencing a strange and sudden hunger for her body. Her lips respond in kind. She tastes faintly of peaches. You withdraw, taking the knife from her. She looks up at you, smiling gently, a single hair caught in the corner of her mouth.
You raise the knife above your head. "Conundrum-chan, I f--" she begins, but her last words are interrupted by your praising Armok at the top of your voice. You plunge the knife into her mune, into which it descends without a sound. Continue-chan gives a slight gasp, then falls silent for good. A bright red fluid bleeds from the wound, spreading into a large, irregular stain on her blouse, somewhat like a poppy. There is blood on your hands.
For killing a sapient creature in a ritual manner, you have gained 100 mana and two skill points. You currently have 165 mana and three unallocated skill points.
>>448
You are attacked by remorse, which tears a gaping hole in your heart. You try to heal the damage, but your skills are only effective on physical injuries. You try to counterattack, but remorse is a fickle beast that causes you to attack yourself. You feel dreadful. So dreadful, in fact, that you don't notice that Sensei has long since left the room.
Curse quietly.
Pour salt in your heart
Head towards the Control Tower. Or at least where Jack believes the Control Tower might be.
check inventory/skills
Put all skill points into necromancy. We will bring Continue back someday!
Load a save from before we killed lovely Continue-chan
Unless >>455's command works, save a lock of Continue's hair to assist in any necromany-related activities.
>>450
You mutter some unladylike epithet under your breath. It doesn't make you feel any better.
>>451
You decide to pour salt in your wounds, so to speak, by condemning yourself for your actions. How could you do something so heartless? You ask yourself. You have no answer. You collapse in a deluge of salty tears.
>>452
You have absolutely no idea where the Control Tower is, or, for that matter, what it is. It could be something entirely metaphorical for all you know. The only thing you know to be associated with accessing the Control Tower is the computer, which you walk over to.
>>453
Your inventory is empty; you are only in possession of your clothing. You are currently wearing: a black pleated skirt, a white blouse with slight blood staining, a dark blue cardigan, a blue neckerchief, a pair of white knee-high socks, a pair of black shoes and a pair of frilly white pantsu. You currently have the following skills:
>>454
You now have level three necromancy. You have unlocked the following skills:
>>455
(Loading >>444.sav...)
(Error: save file missing or corrupted.)
>>456
You cut a few precious strands of Continue-chan's hair, using the very knife you just murdered her with, and put them in the pocket of your skirt. A lock of Continue-chan's hair has been added to your inventory.
Eat her hair
Commit acts of necrophilia on Continue's body
Open the javascript and try the following commands:
Player.mana = 50000;
Player.setMana(50000);
Player.mana_recovery = true;
Player.xyz = Sensei.xyz;
Continue.xyz = Conudrum.xyz;
help();Switch to Player 1.
Be the Control Tower.
>>458
You feel a sudden need to be closer to the late Continue-chan. You can scarcely bring yourself to look at what you have wrought upon her small body, but you do have that one lock of hair by which to remember her. Unable to think of any better way to bring her closer to her, you swallow the hair. You feel it scrape agonisingly against your pharynx, but continue to force it down, desperate to be able to carry that little bit of Continue-chan inside you.
You become aware that something is urgently wrong - the lock of hair is lodged somewhere it shouldn't be. You gag by reflex, but nothing comes up. You try to swallow to dislodge the obstruction, but to no avail. You bend over and try to cough, but you can't even manage that. In a blind panic, you claw at your throat, lungs burning for lack of air, unable even to scream. At last, the world goes black and your inert body lands on the floor, next to that of your former lover.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 20
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>457)
>>459
You feel a sudden need to be closer to the late Continue-chan. But... a different sort of closeness. An ecchi sort of closeness. Unfortunately, you don't know how to do ecchi things; you aren't even sure where babies come from, but you think it has something to do with a hole in your crotch. The hole in your crotch is far too dangerous to bring near poor Continue-chan's body, though, you decide.
>>460
You spend 75 mana opening the JavaScript console, type in a few lines, then close it again. Immediately, your vision is filled with:
Failed: NameErrorFailed: NameErrorFailed: NameErrorFailed: NameErrorWarning: TypeError in module PauliExclusionPrinciple
You find that Continue's cadaver has been superimposed into your body. Your constituent atoms vehemently repel one another, and you explode on an atomic level, spraying the entire room with a fine mist of little girl particles. The help screen opens, but you can't read it because you're dead.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 21
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>457)
>>461
You are now playing as Player 1, otherwise known as Sensei. You are currently huddled in a broom cupboard down the corridor from the IT room. You are in complete darkness, and cannot see any of your surroundings.
>>462
The Control Tower resists your feeble attempts to subvert its consciousness.
Open the door, then have a look at what possibly-useful items are currently stored in this broom cupboard.
Curse politely and gently touch your surroundings in hopes of finding a door knob.
Open the cupboard! Quick! Before a grue eats us!
>>464
Cautiously, you reveal yourself to the world, and closely inspect your hiding place. You find a broom, a mop, an opened box of spare incandescent lightbulbs, two tins of paint, one tin of wood varnish, a few wooden crates and several unmarked cardboard boxes of varying sizes.
>>465
"Oh fiddlesticks," you mutter to yourself. You can see a doorknob on the door you just opened, but touch it by hand just to make sure.
>>466
Thankfully, the cupboard seems quite grueless.
Just as you are beginning to feel safe, You hear the footsteps of someone running down the corridor towards you. Conundrum-chan runs into you and slams the door behind you. The two of you are plunged into darkness. She clings to you, shaking. You manage to make out a few words from her. "People outside... soldiers... carrying guns..."
She suddenly falls silent. You can hear slow, heavy footsteps outside the cupboard door.
Quietly grope Conundrum-chan's oppai.
Quietly hum the tune "The ants go marching one by one."
Quietly be loud.
Gently prod the crates and boxes with your appendages. If any of them feel to be open, engage the sense of touch to cautiously inspect what's inside.
>>468
You decide to make use of the darkness and need for silence to satisfy your own latent lolicon yearnings. Without warning, you grasp poor Conundrum-chan's thorax, cupping your hands around her small, budding oppai. You feel her body stiffen, but she makes no sound. You squeeze and knead them greedily, causing a slight gasp to escape her lips.
>>469
You quietly hum your favourite nursery rhyme. The footsteps outside stop.
>>470
You quietly kick one of the crates on the ground, causing a clattering noise somewhat louder than you intended. There are a few seconds of silence, then the cupboard door is thrown open to reveal two rather threatening looking human figures. They are dressed in full body grey combat armour, with visors covering their faces. They are wielding large, bulky guns, which they are pointing at you.
Without hesitation, they open fire, burning large holes through your vital organs with their laser weapons.
GAME OVER
Deaths: 22
(Continuing from most recent saved game: >>467)
>>471
Taking great care so as not to make any noise, you explore your surroundings. The cardboard boxes mostly contain books, and magazines which, obviously, you cannot read. You also locate an odd cubic object which, when manipulated, reveals itself to be a Rubik's cube. One cardboard box contains a set of cleaning sprays, sponges and rags. The wooden crates are all sealed and unopenable.
After having spent this long rummaging through the contents of the broom cupboard, the footsteps from outside have moved on down the corridor. You are probably safe for now.
Stuff as many cleaning rags as possible in pockets.
Take Rubik's cube and stuff it down our pants.
Cautiously open cupboard door, check for enemies, and if the coast is clear make a run for it in the direction that the footsteps were coming from.
Celebrate the Rubik's cube anniversary throwing a wild 80s themed party.
In case of unexpected (and armed) guests cease and desist immediately.
Yawn theatrically, announce that I'm bored, and then go over and see how the Car Wars game at another table is going.
Ask Jack-chan why is Continue-chan absent.