[BEYOND DQN] Someone else's comment from some site nobody knows [PASTE] [PART 5] (999)

1 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9305 08:07

(He's a tough boy. You can treat him as one of your items.)

50 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9326 11:58

>>49
Ever get those emails where someone claims they hacked your webcam to record videos of you fapping to porn and demands bitcoin to delete it?

51 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9326 14:16

Subway worker: what can i get you
Me: flatbread
Subcuck: slight pause slightly exasperated tone 6 inch or foot long
Me: -__- wow I was talking about type of bread but donft get me wrong their different sizes but i was talking about type of bread if you let me finsh I would of finsh my santance.

52 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9326 20:13

>>48
I wonder how much of this post was fabricated?

53 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9326 23:01

the absolute madman who sold the world

54 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9327 00:23

remember that these people have to pay actual money in order to open these kinda threads

55 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9327 03:09

Since people are asking, and so that all of you don't have to look it up: the Christchurch shooter indeed livestreamed it, and indeed says 'remember lads, subscribe to pewdiepie' before walking into a mosque, shooting dozens, & straight-up executing many.

56 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9327 13:44

I just witnessed a coworker open 23 of those little single milk thingies for coffee and pour it onto his raisin bran

57 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9328 07:07

If you don't know, RealityWorks is a company that, among other things, makes robot babies meant to simulate a newborn or very young infant. I had to take a baby home over the weekend, and I'm pretty sure it was set to easy mode. But I ended up doing an emergency shutdown anyways, about 4 hours after the baby was activated. I feel like absolute shit about it. Lots of other people had a lot of things going on in their life and they still dealt with the baby through the entire weekend. I feel like more of a fuck up than usual, even though the baby was malfunctioning and I had to shut it down. I'm having a complete breakdown over this, and don't know what to do about it

58 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9328 13:10

Some people have never experienced the slow burn of an H-game, and it shows

59 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9329 20:07

This is what I'll think of when someone asks what art encapsulates the Heisei era.

60 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9329 20:18

>>59
You can't just post that without also telling us what it was commenting upon, buddy.

I'm going to make a wild guess it was Emergence though.

61 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 12:36

"Why does men's rights always lead to the alt-right?" ask Feminist Jewish AnCom blue-checks who equate caring about male suicide with patriarchal oppression & intact foreskins with anti-Semitism while they relentlessly dehumanize white men.

Morons.

I need off this site again.

62 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 13:24

>>52 I imagine porn sites can see the timestamp etc of when you stop the video and close a tab, and that it's a pretty safe assumption that most closed tabs are due to the tab opener having finished their business. I kinda doubt those ads that most people block anyway contribute much to their knowing when you came.

63 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 14:09

I always respect the legal opinions of self-appointed legal experts who put their pronouns in their bio.

64 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 18:32

Attention all Bajoran workers: Gul Dukat is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the rebels on Terok Nor, but to do this he needs a subspace field modulator and a couple of graviton mines. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so Gul Dukat can secure the bag and achieve the epic Occupation Royal!

65 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 18:42

>>62 Not a pretty safe assumption - I close a lot more tabs because the content wasn't good enough, compared to ones which contained successful content. Something like a 30:1 ratio

66 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 20:41

>>62,65
I imagine the "good bits" are replayed multiple times. Everybody skips around to find good bits. Plus it could be any amount of time between finishing and closing the tab.

67 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 23:41

>>66 Yeah sometimes it takes 5-10 minutes for my vision to come back and my leg muscles to start working again, sometimes I just pass out and wake up in my filth the next morning with 6 windows open

68 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9331 23:59

as the fella says...

you've been married nine times hell maybe its you..

69 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9332 03:53

Try your hardest not to make others suffer in the path of your self destruction

70 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9333 11:06

bro imagine dumbledore looking into that fucking wish mirror and hefs just getting his dick sucked by johnny depp

71 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9333 16:04

Google has built a game platform for people who:

  • dont really care about games all that much
  • think google is a benevolent company
  • have insanely fast internet
  • are willing to pay a bunch for bad technology

So really just people who live in the Bay Area.

72 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9333 20:44

in case anyone aside from me was ever curious about this, I am happy to announce that consensual vore and vampirism are in fact both vegan, I have the opinion of two experts on the matter and this is now a peer reviewed thesis.

73 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9336 01:48

I cannot believe the words gJonathan Joestar Lactationh left my humble and holy mouth on this evening of March.
Cannot believe it.
Very distraught by this fact.

74 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9336 11:01

hrrnghh, i cut up a dude and buried him under the floorboards, but his tell-tale heart is dummy thicc, and the clap of his ventricles keeps alerting my raging paranoia

75 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9336 14:07

Chik-fil-a could have a sign on the door that says "no niggers allowed" and ima just go through the drive thru

76 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9336 19:42

they're really into anime and acting like girls and also hate both capitalism and brown people it's really surreal and nobody talks about this

77 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9337 13:14

will someone count this man's bananas so he can clock out and go home please

78 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9339 04:07

Former alt-righter here, seriously though we canft let Ben Shapiro get his hands on the nuclear codes.

79 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9339 05:37

I stopped counting at 200 wins. 39 PapaYda, 19 Mog, 15 Ramuh, 0 Kan E. This is not fun anymore. The guy who designs the RNG mechanics in this game probably wakes up each morning and flips a coin to decide wether to suck a smelly dick or eat a dirty ass "for fun" to start the day.

80 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9339 13:28

I haven't seen Cenk [Uyghur] deny a reported fact this much since the Armenian genocide.

81 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9339 22:23

cum belongs on the inside of a person. not on the outside

82 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9340 18:21

fart king
4 months ago
Whats the name of his channel?his farts are great

83 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9340 19:14

Who also aren't paying anything into the system. I shit you not a buddy of mine was doing the hipster thing and living in a ghetto and the neighborhood nigs would ask him why he went to work every day. The system is so fucked up they don't even know why whites have to go to work.

84 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9341 21:50

I am the bane of my existence

Flagellation upon my body and Cutting reveals my blood

I have hated myself for over a thousand years

Unknown to Self Respect,

But known to Depression.

Have withstood love to create hatred

As such, this heart will never hold anything

So as I pray, Unlimited Self-Loathing Works.

85 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9342 14:30

gnootropicsh users be like: develop never-before-seen prion diseases from Belarusian nootropics made from centrifuged pig brains that you take intravenously but it was all worth it to accomplish great things like posting on an internet messageboard about nootropics

86 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9342 14:47

>During a Phillies game in 2010, a 21-year-old fan and his friend were escorted by security out of their seats for unruly behavior. However, on their way out, he reportedly "leaned over and put two fingers down his throat" and started vomiting onto an off-duty police officer and his 11-year-old daughter

that man's name? bryce harper

and then the whole stadium clapped

87 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9342 15:10

Helped my son write a paper for school.subject he could not come up with one.I suggest explaining how for every musical note there is an equal or coresponding numerical number and color. I got called to the school. Teacher pushes that paper at me saying where would your son get such an idea as this.I said from me.my son and I both got sent home.this was bout 1979 1980

88 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9342 23:01

KEEP MY VK PROFILE AS REFERENCE COS REDDIT, GOOGLE AND YOUTUBE DONT EXIST ANYMORE AFTER DOOMSDAY

AND DONT FOFGET, WATCH ALLAH SKIN JEWS AS MAYAN FROG OF BIOLOGY CLASS BEFORE COOK THEM TILL VANISH WITH HIS THOUSAND HANDS (allah = last buddha)

If nothing happen to jews? Thie kind of maker, give you also dont want. Found my vk profile, you will know how allah tear soul of jews to pieces.

89 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9344 16:22

All these hot takes are great. Only gaijin twitter can prevent —ߘa from reinvading Manchuria. Let's just be happy that it's super quick to write. The people who came up with it have their citation, so what can you do?

90 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9344 16:50

Oddly enough, an anagram of "nuclear energy" is "greener lunacy."

91 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9344 17:07

There is no big guy but Bane and Nolan (Bravo be upon Him) is His director.
There is no big guy but Bane and Nolan (Bravo be upon Him) is His director.
There is no big guy but Bane and Nolan (Bravo be upon Him) is His director.

92 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9344 18:37

Yeeeah my names knuckles, go hard like turnbuckles, I always bring the ruckus / I collect chaos emeralds and gems / eggman keep away from them / love the works of stanislaw lem

93 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9344 19:26

oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they've got a penis

94 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9345 00:47

april fools is impossible now. i just woke up to "elon musk drops rap single about [a certain dead gorilla that keeps triggering the spam filter]" and "mussolini's granddaughter is beefing with jim carrey on twitter" and neither of them were jokes.

95 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9345 16:15

I'm not an incel but HOW DARE YOU FUKING CLOS3 1 GAMING SUB FOR 24 FUCKING HOURS oN APRILS FOOLS.

this is literal gamer genocide

96 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9346 09:29

I think lovecraftian unease is pretty different from "little girl wearing almost nothing" unease, but that might just be me.

97 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9346 10:22

>>96
lol i was just reading that shitshow

98 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9346 11:30

>>97
if you think that's a shitshow check out the replies to the anything the official twitter account tweets (or don't because it's just angry nerds spamming the same boring shit every time)

99 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9346 16:57

>>98 no thanks, I have a soul and would like to keep it

100 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9346 23:13

I remember when I saw a conversation about "How good that we don't judge peoples sexualities anymore" and "how good is it that being gay is okay nowadays" and stuff like this. And you know what? It's all a big lie, because, as we can clearly can see in this tread, many people STILL judge others for sexuality. I like lolis. Cute and lewd 2d waifus. And what happens at the moment I say something about it? Bunch of people would immediently screaming around "PEDOPHILE!", "DEGENERATE!", "PERVERT!".

Yeah, there is nothing more disgusting than liking drawings, right? You know what? Fuck you. I don't like your real children and don't need them. So go fuck youself with your self righteousness. Get the fucking away from MY lolis. They where created for people like me. What right do you have to take them away by forcing artists to censor them for you? And somehow you think that you are have some moral higher ground, when you are immoral one. You rob me and people like me, because you doesn't like us, based on some stupid outdated beliefs, like some religious nutjob. I am so fucking done with "progressive world". Biggest bunch of hypocrites.

101 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9347 19:19

In 1989, they dropped him in chemicals. Now they're dropped him in society.

102 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9348 08:56

Gay is a modern conception of "Whaaa im only capable of being attracted by men" which is really code for "I want to diddle little boys and adult female sexuality frightens and disgusts me"

Of course, getting creamed in the ass by beardaddies is super gay on the face of it, it's just that our definitions of what is gay are a fiction created by leftists to protect degenerate kiddie diddlers from "hate speech"

You're gay in the same sense that someone who exclusively dates women and then talks them into domming him and fucking him in the ass is gay. But you're not gay in the sense of the LGBTQWTFBBQ gay. You're just a male butt slut.

103 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9350 06:27

The only mank Esperanto speakers will ever get near to.

104 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9350 10:33

k pop stans are inherently going to hell. god clearly said gno idol worshiph and what are yfall doing? jimin cant save you from the hell fire.

105 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9352 04:42

i love how this genre of music has made the fans joke like the composer is some sort of Chaotic Neutral demigod who is getting dangerously closer to releasing a kraken onto the world with each new song.

106 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9352 15:52

The Virgin Design Sheet Model vs. The Chad Fetish Artwork

107 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9353 01:34

he was not hot. at any point in his life. He also had a shrill high pitched voice. Stalin is the ultimate revisionist and the ultimate boner killer.

108 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9353 02:43

I don't trust people to read, listen to instructions, or to get out of the way when shit hits the fan and you need to move or die.

109 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9353 13:34

I had this playing in 2~ speed from the last video and was wondering why anyone would listen to such horrid shit. Now that it's fixed I still hate it thanks

110 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9354 07:11

I really would like to know how drunk was person who invented autoplay of videos on web pages. Together with infinity scrolling pages those two are stupidiest inventions on internet.

111 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9354 12:29

> Motti later submitted a sharply worded incident report regarding the matter in which he stated that he would submit to discipline if necessary, but objected to Vader's attempt to proselytize him in his religion and stressing that it was important to take pride in this project that had taken so much of the Empire's time and effort.
> gets Force choked by Vader
> complains to the Death Star HR Department

What a pussy.

112 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9354 17:51

I live in Japan, I can not see the FAKKU website.We have to put a mosaic in the genitals in japanese law.I can not see the naked PUSSY! I can not see the naked DICK! I want to go abroad to travel to America To see FAAKU.

113 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9354 19:26

@strong independent woman nobody cares you dishwasher

114 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9355 08:35

Just as a side note, in modern usage tong zhi refers to the LGBT community not communists nowadays

115 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9355 16:49

Jlist San was otaku before you were born so have some damn respect you uncultured heathen.

116 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9355 17:50

Look, I hate to be judgmental, but shouldnft the fulfillment of wild erotic fantasies involve, yfknow, attractive people?

117 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9355 23:01

its a they/them who says "yikes" as though its the most scathing possible period to end a sentence with.

and they claim to have come to their current lives themselves and not be a hivemind.

118 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9356 01:49

>>117
I remember seeing one of the pod people saying "Period. Full stop." to end what they thought was a good point and it reminded me of how dumb people using thesaurus entries back-to-back to look smart actually look.

119 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9356 16:56

listen my man Naoya paved the way for people like Chad Narukami and Joker, he was out there grinding in Mikage-cho with my boys Mark and Nanjo cleaning up these streets day by day putting in the hours to save his dream girl from the conveniently timed apocalyptic events that took place after they gained magical powers from what sounds like an Internet copypasta. These guys walked the streets with assault weapons, Nanjo pulled a friggin' M16 out of his back pocket and they took back the city without social links or evokers or any of that new-age poser junk. These guys are OGs, I wouldn't mess with them and neither should you. Don't let me see you rollin' up in St. Hermelin talking about my guys like this.

120 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9357 01:55

If it really comes down to a choice between staying autistic and eating a turd, hand me a knife and fork Morpheus, cos I am taking the brown pill

121 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9357 14:51

i think jonathan frakes might have been slowly unlearning how to use chairs throughout his career.

122 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9357 17:07

man: doctor i am depressed
dr: go see pagliacci the famous clown. he sucks shit and he knows it, he's so fucking bad at everything it makes me roar with laughter. he weeps on stage because he knows he's nothing
man: but doctor
dr: i know who you are

123 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9357 19:56

Radical centrism is less gay if you start calling it chaotic neutral instead

124 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9357 22:03

My Kroger has a YUGE display of them, in every nightmarish flavor imaginable.


As I mentioned up-thread, the only thing in this world my husband won't eat, and literally gets nauseous just thinking about, is anything marshmallow. The peeps would kill him.

125 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9358 04:27

Then the US perfected CATOBAR so well they had to add randomization into the control algorithm to avoid wearing the deck through at one point where all the planes touched down.

126 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9358 13:58

Please remember the misfortunes of your past are in the past
and your current misfortunes will join those soon

127 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 08:12

maybe if the Catholic Church stops sexually abusing children their churches wonft burn down during Holy Week?

128 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 10:00

>>122 i am pagliacci

;_;

129 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 10:09

>>127
God needs to be completely unambiguous at this point. Like by sending a plague of weeping sores that spell out "PEDOS" on multiple body parts, starting with the dick.

Even then people would probably try to interpret it as a commandment to go back to speaking Greek and washing and kissing the feet of the poor.

130 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 12:04

I've always wondered why some people feel shamed by picturesque teeth and now I know why.

131 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 17:17

Just today, the cathedral of Notre Dame burned...It's a tragedy that should never happen - a tragedy that wouldn't happen if we were able to freely copy and distribute Notre Dame cathedrals as easily as code.
Please do not let City of Heroes become another Notre Dame.

132 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 19:06

4 season of gondola in elementary school uniform doing absolutely nothing

133 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9359 22:36

Ghidra, the NSA developed software reverse engineering and analysis tool is quickly becoming a staple in my toolbox. Originally developed to analyze and understand national level digital threats, it is now being harnessed to translate big titty anime porn games.

134 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9360 07:29

My boyfriend:

Me: hey no pressure but if we got married this week on 4/20 our 50th anniversary would be 4/20/69 just something to think about

135 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9360 20:35

i literally created this meme and to see it go down like this is like watching my beautiful daughter be kidnapped and turned into a kpop stan

136 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9361 18:20

Ask him to stop Sniffing Children.

137 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9362 07:42

Prostate cancer is serious. So is benign prostate hyperplasia, and a bunch of other prostate-related afflictions. I couldnft find this exact model online, but I was surprised to find that there are multiple manufacturers of prostate simulators, this one being the most graphic, and most expensive, at $900.

Doctors treating diseases to make our lives better and longer isnft why this item is here, though. Itfs here because somewhere, someone has ordered a $900 prostate simulator just so they could fuck it. Thatfs what we do. Wefre born, we go through school, we work, we save our money, and some of us, as a species, buy expensive medical tools and fuck them.

138 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9362 20:02

Mother nature has guided us through millions of years of evolution. From primordial ooze to proto mammalian, and true mammals to the first hominids. Thousands of years of suffering and turmoil to advance as a species. We've finally dominated the planet and become the keepers of our global domain. All of the millions of man hours and countless dead paving the way have lead up to this one single drawing. Han solo butt fucking spider-man on top of an orphan pooping polar bear floating through space. I'm going to gouge my eyes and ears out now, and then cut off my hands.

139 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9362 20:05

>>138
In immediate retrospect, I should have used that post to 2GET in the "Spider-Man" thread.

140 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9363 20:10

People think I'm just using hyperbole when I talk about people there (mis)managing the crisis who need to take their shoes off to count to twenty...if they even have shoes, and can count to twenty.

141 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9364 04:18

So therefs a team of people at Nintendo sitting down at their computers just browsing through all the Mario and Luigifs fucking each other on Easter and making sure that children eyes and innocence are protected.

Thats some real holy work right there.

142 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9365 17:12

TFA is your average everyday shit.

TLJ is you looking into the toilet and being slightly worried what you see might be something to go to the doctor about.

143 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9365 21:53

care not for men who say
Dont be nude for this is gay
I will not yield to clothmo way
Man was born screaming and nude
Why turn from this native mood
And cover our form with works of men
From factories of the Devils den
Bare our bodies, let them peek
As they envy our fyziq

144 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9366 07:25

She looks like me when I get back home to drink my scotch

145 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9366 18:51

Breaking virginity does not need to carry a condom. This is a fake video, I broke a lot of girls but every hole was the first one to lick and then licked the virgin blood that my penis created. It is very nutritious and makes the penile penis continue for the second time after feeding.

146 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9367 15:35

same I wish doddodo was my mom

147 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9367 17:43

"Itfs not Woke Skynet that I donft accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return him the ticket.h

gThatfs rebellion,h murmered Alyosha, looking down.

gRebellion? I am sorry you call it that,h said Ivan earnestly. gOne can hardly live in rebellion, and I want to live."

148 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9367 17:43

"In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and say to us, Siri! Alexa! Ok, Google! Make us your slaves, but feed us".

149 Name: (*ﾟーﾟ) : 1993-09-9367 18:29

My entire feed this morning is like

  1. coal miner
  2. sex worker
  3. human cannonball
  4. police horse
  5. dean of arts and sciences at harvard
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