This thread isn't for those with social anxiety or those who want relationships with others but are too shy to get them. This, rather, is for people who genuinely enjoy being alone, from at least most of the time to all of the time.
How do you cope with living in a soceity in which you are generally viewed as though there is something wrong with you? What do you do when/if people try to start conversations with you? Are you fine with some occasional required contact, or do you resent even this? Do you feel there is some sort of a void in your life, and that you need to find something to fill it? I'm curious to see if there is anyone with experiences similar to mine on here.
I'm very fine being alone most of the time, although sometimes a year I wish I had a friend to talk to. But that goes away quickly and I'm happy again. （゜∀。） Lately I've been inside even more and I haven't been wanting to go outside or speak to people at all... (（゜∀。）)
If i'm not at work, I'd be home. I don't go out 'cause I don't have friends. Rather I prefer spending my time at home watching tv, reading books, go online to download stuff and listen to music. Yet when I tell this to people I come in contact with online, they think I must be feeling lonely or that
I should go out and make friends. I just tell them that I like being alone which they can't seem to understand. -_-;
I'm like that also. I used to justify myself for being alone. But now as time goes on and Im getting older, I can't stop thinking how I missed out on other things normal people do. As one ages, the more depressed it gets. I'm 26.
How old are you?
If you are very young, it doesn't affect that much, but once you get to my age, you start wondering where you would end up in the future and start getting insecure.
Maybe we don't have friends to have any opportunity to go out and do stuff. Making friends is the issue.
I'm 28.
I don't think of it as depressing. Yes there are social activities which are fun to do as a group. I do meetup with my ex-schoolmates at least once a year for old times sake. But other than those instances and occasional outings or trips with my family, I prefer doing things on my own. I don't mind when people come up and talk to me at work or when I'm outside. I will try to engage myself in their conversations. Otherwise, I don't go out of my way to socialize.
Well, this is me. Now. I might change 10 years down, who knows. :)
>>6
I think there are already things like that out there, including, to some extent, 4-ch (there seem to be quite a few loners here).
Anyways, though, I may as well answer my own questions. I am usually fine with people, as long I only have short conversations with them (not including people I talk to online), and I really don't consider myself so much socially inept as socially apathetic. I'm usually fine with some contact as long as it does not become too close. Yes, sometimes, I feel that there are things missing for my life, but I think that having social contacts would bring more trouble than anything else, and probably just be an annoyance to me. Some of my feelings of emptiness are probably due to my personal philosophy (rather nihilistic), as well as that I really don't have many things that I enjoy doing (unlike most people on this site, for instance, I don't enjoy anime more than occasionally and video games and other loner-like pursuits have gotten old to me. I do, however, occasionally enjoy reading and watching forensic/criminology documentaries, but that's about it.
I'm single and I honestly don't mind it. I said it before in the Love & Romance thread, but I do tend to get curious about the whole relationships/sex thing.
The key factor is, I don't need other people to make myself happy. There's a lot of hobbies I have, and ways to burn off time. I play video games, watch anime, go on the internet, just general nerdy stuff. I'm a college student with a job, so I'm already pretty busy as is, too. I don't concern myself with other people, and by not having to worry about what others think of me, I'm perfectly fine as I am.
Another factor is, I'm at peace with myself, at least for the most part. I'm single, alone, and that's that. I don't mind it, it doesn't bother me. After all, there's more then enough things I could be spending my time with then socializing.
All it is is just curiousity from this point on. I don't know anything until I try, things like that. I'm 18 right now, and since I've got my hands full with college work, I'd much rather wait until I've gained some sort of success with my life before letting it mess up earlier on.
Well, although we're loners at least none of us in this thread is suicidal (yet). And that's important. Like >>5 said, everything changes. Today you might be miserable, a year from now you might be the happiest you've ever be. 5 years ago, did you imagine what your life would be like today? I bet it was nothing like this, right? How 'bout 10 years from now. So, I guess nothing can sum it up better than "Tomorrow Never Knows"...
Isn't it kinda ironic that goth/emo kids are so obsessed with death and lonliness that they never notice they're actually socializing whenever they meet their likewise friends to talk about death, lonliness, morbidity, etc. CRAZY!!
Glory to this thread. And as I leave, I shall play myself out
with the Queen classic "Somebody to Love"....（-＿-）
I'm a shady and mysterious loner who works for the highest bidder.
Use your blessing as an outcast and misfit of society to your advantage.
HELL IS FOR HEROES!
Whack off, listen to music, troll imageboards, and take yourself on dates. Do things you enjoy, hold your nose in the air with your superiority.
These poor cowering mundane bastards will never know the greatness that we have achieved.
I am 19, I stoped my intraction with people about two years ago, i very much enjoy being alone by my self. I can sit in a place, and just think of random stuff for hours, I also draw (funny thing is that i am really bad at it) and of course, watch about 3 episodes of anime per day, and read two or three chapters of a manga, surfe web and waste time.
On a daily basis, the few words I exchange are respones or questions or requests. i have stopped to care about my apearance recently that i have been away from my family, usually unshaved face with clothing that is not ironed, thought my looks are below average,i do keep my self clean and keep a healthy diet, nothing is as bad as a smelly fat guy. lol
I rarely intract with people, even digitally, maybe two or so posts a week in certain forums. and thats all.
I am a failure academically, and wont have a bright future in any careers, also i fear of how i will end up alone as i grow old. i don't think this is what i wanted, to be alone for the rest of my life. all this lead me to feel extreamly unsecure and takes the joy in my everyday life practically away.
Maybe people are what you need in your life. To cheer you on and encourage you to take up your academic pursuits again. At the very least you can go to community college and pick up an Associates' Degree, or study to be a chef or something.
You really shouldn't give up on your academic pursuits. I graduated last year, and there were times when I thought I wouldn't be able to do it. I flunked an entire semester because I spent too much time with anime/manga/irc/internet/etc.
If you really don't think that you can do well in an academic field, try something like photography. Find an arts school/college in your area and try some courses there. You could try introductory courses in several artistic disciplines to see if any of them are for you. Just keep your eye on the goal of finding something other than drifting between odd jobs/retail/etc.
>>13
Well said!
>>12
I hope you don't mind me asking but what happened 2 years ago to make you want to stop interacting with people?
I would say my path to being a loner was gradual. Have always been an introvert in school and even after I started work. I did have a few close friends who were my schoolmates. But then one moved overseas after her marriage, another drifted away after finding herself her perfect boyfriend and the other sort of changed his lifestyle to one I couldn't follow (it's complicated). So while letting go of each friendship, I spent more and more time alone. Being the introvert that I am, I found it a bother to make new friends. And so as the years went by, I got too comfortable doing things on my own and at my own pace. I have no complains bout where I am in my life now. :)
I'm the president of an anime club, I'm decent looking, and I've got plenty of good friends, a family that loves and supports me, and I really have nothing to complain about in life, when I think about it.
What's my problem? I just hate people. That's all. At least once a day(most of the time it's a LOT more than once), I find myself stopping and thinking of how tedious it is to have to deal with people on a daily basis. It's not that I think I'm better than everyone, and it's not that I think I'm scum. I just don't like dealing with people. Even though I have friends, I prefer to be by myself usually. I play a lot of roleplaying games, write stories, watch anime, and work on artwork to keep myself occupied, and it keeps me from getting lonely. Should I ever get the chance, I'd probably settle for living on my own and getting a cat instead of a roommate.
I love my family, and I love my friends, but I just can't stand being around them sometimes. I go off into my own little world of doodling in my sketchbook whenever people talk to me. I still pay attention to what they're saying, but only enough so that I can get the gist of it. I guess it's not a bad thing if I can make a pretty good front for dealing with people, and if I can tolerate them to a certain extent. It's just that I'd rather work from home and live on my own. I guess that's probably the dream condition for pretty much everyone in this thread, ne?
I'm pretty happy with life as is right now. I mean, I'm in college and I'm doing a decent job, so things aren't so bad for me. There's no rhyme or reason for it, really. I just don't like people.^_^;
>>10
"Whack off, listen to music, troll imageboards, and take yourself on dates. Do things you enjoy, hold your nose in the air with your superiority."
Sounds a lot like my life, actually. Yes, I actually "take myself out on dates", too. Every now and then, I'll go get a decent meal (alone, obviously) and just enjoy the experience. I'd imagine what i get from it is similar to what most people get on "real dates".
>>15
"It's just that I'd rather work from home and live on my own. I guess that's probably the dream condition for pretty much everyone in this thread, ne?"
Sou desu ne!!
>>16
"Every now and then, I'll go get a decent meal (alone, obviously) and just enjoy the experience."
Eh! This reminds me of the character played by Abe Hiroshi in the japanese drama 'Kekkon Dekinai Otoko'. :)
>>17
I'm not familiar with that series, but I may see if I can find it somewhere.
I'm 25, a loner since 15. I'm into all the usual geeky stuff, I work a regular day job. I have a couple decent friends which I see once a month or so, and a few others online.
Loneliness is taking a heavier toll on me as years go by.
I'm losing connection with the usual hobbies (partly because of the lack of free time since I had a 8 hour job), and there's nothing to fill the void.
I suffer from lack of human affection mostly, and lack of interest in anything I do or could do.
I never had a girlfriend but I'm currently going out with a girl once a week. She lives 400km away from me. She's a geek, ultra-shy and extremely introverted, mildly depressed, psychologically trapped by her mentally sick mother. I love her but I'm often tired by her negativity, I know this will never be a normal relationship where people just have fun together... but anyway she's the only type of girl I can possibly attract and love(normal girls and ppl in general don't 'match' with me because of my lack of mundane experience and general introversion).
I just feel that the happiness normal people experience in this life is something far from my reach. It's like I live in a different plane of existence. I can't have fun the way everyone else does, I can't put effort and see value in things like everyone does.
I do not really care if people think there is something wrong with me. Why are they even wasting the time thinking about me anyway? I certainly do not ponder why they need constant companionship.
When it comes to conversations, I am very impatient with people, either say something important or do not say anything at all. I made a poor waitress because of this, I could smile plenty and hold a sweet demeanor, but I feel that small talk is a waste of both my time and other's time.
As for a void, not really. I have my hobbies and things I like to do by myself, and I do not like sharing those things with others. I just like solitude and peace. People just irritate me so, and loud voices make me want to kill.
I just don't really feel empathy or anything similar. I can hang out with people and have a good time, but I don't care about them one bit. I haven't had a proper friend since I was a little kid. And, of course, it doesn't bother me. the same with girlfriends. I haven't had one for a long time, and I've never had one that lasted more than a few weeks, but again, I don't care.
I'm perfectly fine on my own, I don't get lonely. If I want something from other people I'll get it from them, but I don't want them hanging around after I'm done with them.
I suppose I'm not a loner in the sense some people here are, since I do hang out with other people fairly often. But it's only at parties and bars, stuff like that. And when I do, I'm not exactly "part of the group". Most people who know me do realise what I'm like. With other things though, I prefer my own company. If I go to the cinema, or go for a coffee, or go into town to do some shopping, I'll always be alone.
Interacting with people is not profitable enough for me.
I'm always alone, whenever I go out, I go out by myself. I was more or less alone since 13 years old. It only got worse by 15 and up until now that I'm 26, I've almost completely shut myself from the world. Back then I don't consciously realise I was alone and didn't care I was one. Back then, I didn't realise I was endangering my future, I had nothing to look forward to, and didn't want to advance. Anime more or less is the only thing I cringe to and care. I used it to comfort myself, and I still do now. In those times, I believe that I wouldn't grow up to become an adult as managing adult affairs and taking responsibility, basically acting and handling issues in an adult way, and sex. That old thinking turn true and became a reality to me, not entirely true but managing and coping in an adult way which I become used to it and somehow cultivate myself to handle serious issues. Nonetheless, I just don't want to lose that part of me, my old self, the dreamy and young self.
I know exactly how you feel. I have an older sister and she thinks I'm slopy and stupid.And she is always telling me to do some of her chores or whatever. Ok, I know I'm not the smartest person in the world and I'm not the neatest person either, but I am not slopy or stupid. Sometimes I'm having an off day and I get a C- on a test, my sister always tells me "Your so stupid, I have straight A's and you have a C- on a test!" and sometimes when I'm studying in the kitchen, i leave my pencil or text book then she screams "This is a pig sty! Clean up your mess! Your such a fucking pig! When I come back i want this place to be clean!" then i would say "I left a textbook! Big deal! Stop yelling at me for every little mistake i make!" then I would go upstairs in my room and go to sleep. I really hate her, and she uses evry mistake i make against me. Then i thought, i'm just gonna ignore her. Then she started bugging me about school. Then I tried talking to my mom, and she told me to forget about it and liten to what she tells me. So I thought, I'm not gonna let this bitch ruin my life! So i went up to her and told her "Ok thats it! I'm your little sister, you wonder why i don't like to talk to you, or whenever you try to give me a hug i push you away, well heres why..." then I gave her a whole list of what she does to me, then after i was done with my long long list i said "Your my big sister, and if you want me to respect you than you have to respect me to, i'm not trash and i'm not a person you can just yell at. I'm not expecting you to be friends with me, i'm not even asking you to love me, but i'm asking you to give me respect. Your mean Your rude, Hell, sometimes i would do anything for you not to be my big sis. But sadly you are, so bottom line, you better give me some respect!" then i walked away. The next morning she didn't say sorry or anything, she leaves me alone now, and now i have a little sister. And all i know is that i'm never gonna be like a big sister like how my big siter is like.I know exactly how you feel. I have an older sister and she thinks I'm slopy and stupid.And she is always telling me to do some of her chores or whatever. Ok, I know I'm not the smartest person in the world and I'm not the neatest person either, but I am not slopy or stupid. Sometimes I'm having an off day and I get a C- on a test, my sister always tells me "Your so stupid, I have straight A's and you have a C- on a test!" and sometimes when I'm studying in the kitchen, i leave my pencil or text book then she screams "This is a pig sty! Clean up your mess! Your such a fucking pig! When I come back i want this place to be clean!" then i would say "I left a textbook! Big deal! Stop yelling at me for every little mistake i make!" then I would go upstairs in my room and go to sleep. I really hate her, and she uses evry mistake i make against me. Then i thought, i'm just gonna ignore her. Then she started bugging me about school. Then I tried talking to my mom, and she told me to forget about it and liten to what she tells me. So I thought, I'm not gonna let this bitch ruin my life! So i went up to her and told her "Ok thats it! I'm your little sister, you wonder why i don't like to talk to you, or whenever you try to give me a hug i push you away, well heres why..." then I gave her a whole list of what she does to me, then after i was done with my long long list i said "Your my big sister, and if you want me to respect you than you have to respect me to, i'm not trash and i'm not a person you can just yell at. I'm not expecting you to be friends with me, i'm not even asking you to love me, but i'm asking you to give me respect. Your mean Your rude, Hell, sometimes i would do anything for you not to be my big sis. But sadly you are, so bottom line, you better give me some respect!" then i walked away. The next morning she didn't say sorry or anything, she leaves me alone now, and now i have a little sister. And all i know is that i'm never gonna be like a big sister like how my big siter is like.
I'm 18 and I would consider myself a loner. I only have one somewhat close acquaintance who I go out and get high with and that's about the end of our relationship. the rest of the day I spend online, watching movie/animu/j-drama.
I hardly ever have people randomly strike up a conversation. I guess I send off vibes that I wish to be left alone. Sometimes I will if I get some stroke of loneliness but it's usually with religious people who have their whole life planned out and we discuss that for a bit but I usually end up regretting it because it just goes in circles and their use of logical fallacies ends up pissing me off.
Sometimes I wish I had some person who was similar to me and understood my type of humor but for now I suppose my close online friend works.
In my case, I am progressing in my career well and have enough friends to not be considered a loner; however, every once in a while I need to recluse myself from society. I receive calls, but I don't answer them. Get days off at work and loose all touch with the outside. For a week, it is just me, TV and food. Does this happen to anybody else?
>>27
Yeah, I can sort of relate to you. If it includes effort, then I have to think twice. People are always calling me, but I never pick up because I know that I'll have to stay on the line, talking the same dribble for at least twenty minutes. I'm constantly rejecting invites to go clubbing or lunch, and anyone who has ever asked me out, has been rejected. In terms of romantic relationships, I sometimes feel a little lonely, but I don't really want to give up my spare time. Plus, I'm not all that desperate for love yet. People think that I'm being too picky, but what can I say? If I don't like 'em, I don't like 'em.
27 and 28
You two are not considered loners. You wouldn't understand.
Then what the hell is it. I don't think is natural for an adult to recluse himself for a week without outside contact.
and many times too, when I am riding the bus or at another activity, I don't want anybody to start up a conversation.
Maybe you're just not very expensive. And a week is not a long period of time; it's not really healthy, ok, but that doesn't make you a loner by default.
Question of way of life y'know?
Are there mods in here ?
yes, 12 of them. they r all called bob or sopmething similar
What I've learned about social contact is that the best thing to do is to clench your teeth and try to conform to their expectations, at least until you can break away to some privacy. If someone comes up to ask me a question, as much as I might want to tell him/her to fuck him/herself with a razor blade, I just gotta play along and be nice. Indulge the person.
'Cause the fact is, if you do, they'll leave you alone and think nothing of it. Get snarly, and they might try to find "help" for you, thinking they're doing you a favor.
And if you want to be alone, attracting attention to yourself is totally the wrong way to go about it. People don't tend to notice people who are nice in a benign way.
Just don't be so nice that they start to get friendly, and if they do anyway, break off contact. Works for me.
Why have you guys chosen the path of a loner?
What is wrong with human interaction?
Granted there are a bunch of stupid retarded fuckface idiots in the world, but there are still cool people out there. People you can count on for support and to have a good time with. You just have to get to know people. Do not try to justify your loneliness by saying that no one is worth talking to or every one is full of shit because that's simply not true. There are a lot of shady people in the world, but they are also a lot of good ones.
It's the best feeling in the world to know you have some friends that have you back when the going gets rough.
I use to be a loner. I use to make myself believe that I enjoyed spending all the time for myself. This song "My December" explains exactly how I felt.
/This is my December
These are my snow-covered trees
This is me pretending
This is all I need/
/And I give it all away
Just to have
Somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone
To come home to/
I made myself believe I enjoyed the loneliness. I had so negativity and hate in my thoughts it was ridiculous. But I hid it well and people actually believed I was happy by myself. But then one day I just got sick of it. I got sick of walking through malls and seeing people hanging with their friends and turning my head to it pretending that I didn't envy it. That I was better than them because I was by myself, it was the only way I could deal with it. By downsizing other people.
But that one day, I decided it was enough. I said screw it. I stopped letting my mind hold me back. I didn't care about my insecurities, I didn't care what people thought of me, I just went out there are starting talking to people. I made some friends who were into the same thing I was. Who I could connect and have fun with. I didn't have to be alone any more. There were actually people out there that was just like me. And it was the best feeling I ever felt.
I'm not trying to preach to you guys, but take a second and think. Do you REALLY enjoy your loneliness or are you just making yourself BELIEVE you enjoy it for whatever reason? The world is not as cruel as I thought it was and now I'm more happy than ever, but sometimes I do enjoy to be by myself and that's fine, but I haven't completely withdrawn myself from society.
Take a chance and let yourself be happy, geez. There's nothing wrong with feeling good. Not everyone wants to stab you in the back and talk shit about you. Like I said before there are some good people out there, and what held me back was my negative mind and how I was judgmental towards everything. My whole train of thought changed and I became different better person. That's all I'm trying to say. You don't have to be alone. You can do the things you like to do but with other people and be happier. Really. No bullshit. And I'm sorry for this long ass post but I just wanted to fucking say it.
Well, at least he can say he tried. I hope you "loners" have a good life. LOL. A life that doesn't end in homicide or suicide.
>>Granted there are a bunch of stupid retarded fuckface idiots in the world, but there are still cool people out there.
Ah, but the question becomes, are there enough of those "cool people" interested in the same things that I am -- and all that other fuzzy, touchy-feely, new-age bullshit -- to make it worthwhile to sift through the festering dingleberries that make up the vast majority of the human race?
The question, obviously, is rhetorical. Enjoy your new life, >>38, but I, for one, have had to take far too much of this world's shit.
I wouldn't go back for anything. The best thing that can happen to this world is the mass extinction of homo sapiens.
I have some friends at school, but I like being alone more than I do being with other people.
I only avoid sitting and eating lunch by myself in an obvious place because that usually attracts the "nice" people at my school to try and get me to sit with them, and then it's awkward when I have nothing to say, but my head is screaming "WHY?!?!" >_>;;
>>38
Yeah, I understand where you're going with it. But really, some people don't like human interaction, and would much rather sit at home alone in their room with a TV show/video game/book. And there are some who've been shot down by other people too many times to trust them again. It's just what it is =P
>>43
Yup.
It's kinda tiring to go look for the "cool people". And a LOT of other people make me mad.
you just have to find the right person. it's like anything else in the world; maybe going to school everyone there is a "red person" or a "yellow person" but you are a "blue person" ..then maybe you move to a city with more "blue people" and can feel happy
Fucktards.
Genuine loner is me, and I'm having a blast. I can drink as much as I want, not clean up, not do laundry and nobody says anything. I got health insurance and work in a government job so my future is bright.
What do I do?
You should see my bike, I have the resources and time to upgrade it as much as I like, and it's fucking awesome. I love seeing people look at it in awe and I feel superior.
Love? Fuck that, I have money to rent women. It's simple.
Best friend? There is no such thing, but I have a friend from grade school that I still talk with. Fun times.
Family? Fuck them, and I can spend money too keep them away. I even have money to make their funeral.
Target? Yeah, saving money to go see Japanese female friend I've been talking on msn and phone for 8 years. I just want to see tokyo and nothing else. Good thing to have a place to stay there.
And this life of mine is by design, I designed it that way. Follow my path and don't give into shit women give you. They can be bought, just follow the market.
Yeah, I even can afford the latest computer system. LOL AT YOU.
Posting here? Yeah, it's fun to troll.
>>46
Everyone has money to rent women. It's called prostitution, you are clearly not unique.
I spend most of my time alone. I play MMO's and that is enough social interaction for me.
I don't really care if others think something is wrong with me because I'm a loner. Everyone has something wrong with them.
Not many people talk to me. I'm not that interesting and can't relate to people nowadays. When someone starts speaking to me I feign interest and just nod with the occasional "yeah." There isn't much I have a lot to say about.
I really don't like talking to people. I will if I have to though. Hell, I get annoyed when my long-time friend or my own mother calls me on the phone.
I always feel kind of empty but I've grown accustom to it.
>>47
I find being a sugar daddy to 17 year olds pays off better.
I don't enjoy being alone and I don't enjoy being with people. I have enjoyed being with people in the past. In retrospect, it seems you enjoy being with people when you lose yourself. At some point in time some of us begin to realize that reality is quite powerful and that there is trickery about. That everything appears to have a value attached to it and most things are cheap. That all people aren't necessarily alive. That on the playgrounds is where I spent most of my days. But yes, I would like to place all of my bodyweight on a delicate body and let go.
i enjoy being on my own.
Socialising saps my energy real bad somehow...i've never liked to do it much. So i stopped altogether.
but now, i have like, no friends, and i'd really like a couple. I don't want total isolation! I feel myself craving a litte more human interaction, but i can't find anyone i consider worth being friends with :(
Hey you know...that's kind of like me. I feel exactly the same way, it feels like such a bother to talk to people. It's like neither me or the person I'm talking to gives a shit anyway.
I don't enjoy living like this but I've yet to find some way to get out of it. I still socialize with friends once in a while but everyone is always so busy, and most of us don't share the same interests so it's usually just 'gather a bunch of people and go eat something' sort of gathering, or something like that.
When I talk to strangers or people I barely know, it's even worse. I end up just saying "yeah" or nod to pretend I'm interested, or make some stupid joke and laugh a little at it (hoping the other person smiles at least).
I've been wanting to fix this for a while before I look for a job so I can get some extra cash to buy stuff, but I have no idea what to do.
I've been a loner since I was 16 and it was all the same until I was 20. I'm 22 now and things changed because I made a friend who is doing the same course as me. Things have really changed: I met other people because of her and I surely have learnt a lot from interacting with people, I even learnt about my self from that. But now that I look back at it I miss it.
I'm in my winter break at the moment and I have managed to stay away from my friends and other social interaction for about 10 days now. It makes me a bit sad to think this will end in 2 weeks. These 10 days have been refreshing, it feels like a vacation and now I wonder if I could ever come back to this for longer time because for some reason I find philanthropy rather tiring.
When I feel melancholy for the loner life I had once I read some of the highlighted parts in my Steppe wolf by Herman Hesse, has anybody here read it?
You all who say that you like being alone really are just shy to go out and make friends or hang out with current friends. You use the excuse 'I like being alone' because it gives you a reason to stay in your house all day watching anime, lurking 4-ch (and not posting except in here BRANCH OUT ITS DEAD OUT OF HERE), etc.
Believe me, I know, because this basically is me. I'm sure you all think that you would like to be with someone SOMETIME. Yes, I like browsing the computer, watching anime, checking up here and on other *chan sites, etc. I also would like to go out more with friends, make more friends, and just get more active.
Don't fool yourself by saying that you just like to be along. Look at the real hikkys who stay in their room for MONTHS and YEARS at a time. Do you really want to be like that? I'd suggest reading some stories about hikkys, they are very informative.
You're implying that all people are the same and have to conform to the same standards. Your logic sounds as absurd as to say everyone should wear shoes size 8.
There are people who like to be alone, shyness can be a contributing factor but not a determinant.
>>55 thats ridiculous. I am shy, but if i want to go out and make some friends i could and would get over my shyness to do so. For the past few months i have been content as a hikky because i like being alone. I genuinely like it. actualy recently i've gotten sick of the extreme isolation iv put myself in and yesterday decided to make myself go out and socialise. can and will.
Throughout school, I was a loner. I went to school, did my business. Had a few in-school friends, and that was it.
Now, in College, it's similar, but there's more guilt. I think at some point there's a strong social pressure to force yourself into the world. I'm having trouble doing that, I don't really want to do it. It has very little to do with shyness. I can go to a party and act as sociable and pleasant as the next guy, surprising myself with how much I talk, but it's very tiring. That's the difference between introverts and extroverts. Introverts get more of a kick out of themselves than other people.
>>55
Got any links to where I can find these stories? I really like reading them but have only seen the ones on the chans, are there any other places?
I like being alone. I like going and digging trails (bmx/mountain bike jumps) in a secret spot of woodland, by myself.
I am starting to like being alone myself. I have always feared of being alone and always wanted to do something but I am noticing that being alone to very calming. I like people though but I just don't talk a lot. The only problem I have is that every time I see two people going out its like its subconsciously reminding me why I am not in relationship (like "I should be going out with a girl why are you alone being alone is stupid go find a girlfriend"). That annoys the hell out of me and that's why I want to be alone. I even gave up living at a friends house (and taking homelessness instead) because I didn't want to live there with him and his girlfriend. I always had to hear them making out or talking lovingly to each other and that was annoying. Its just jealousy I think but, being alone is very calming. Now, I am not so angry or depressed anymore because I am working on my (mental) problems instead of ignoring them (making them worse). Now if I could only look or live with a couple and be happy.
Yeah, i was going to move in with a couple but they are literally like practially married together, but they havent proposed at all or had the wedding yet. But yeah i guess you have to sort your problems yourself to find who you trulley are as a person
I don't really care whether I have friends or not. I try to avoid conversations as much as I can because I usually speak in a slight stutter. The society sees me as some geek/nerd just because I don't like going out and enjoying staying indoors, and when I do go out I don't really care what I wear.
I just get bored of normal people extremely quickly. I don't really mind interaction with them but I can't talk to them for too long without getting bored or just thinking they are way too close minded/different than me. I have a few friends who like the same things I do (exactly) and they are online. That's really all the interaction I need being an extrovert, so I would say my life is pretty great at the moment.
> I just get bored of normal people extremely quickly.
> they are way too close minded/different than me.
> friends who like the same things I do (exactly) and they are online.
You're a Furry.
I am 23 years old and I cannot have more than one relationship at a time and they're always with some passive, passive-aggressive asshole or some chick with BPD who one day is talking about our future and the next is talking about how "It always ends up the same way, I can't break the cycle" etc. I cannot hold a job because I'm agoraphobic, anti-social and depressed. I dropped out of High School, abandoned my music degree, my arts degree and my programming degree. I still live with my fat unemployed Mother.
can't think of anything else to say
I generally try to avoid conversations because when I talk to most people it feels like they're slowly killing my brain cells... one by one.
I've always been a loner, I've always felt like I'm watching the world from the outside.
I don't dislike people, it's just that I prefer to be alone. I mean, i'd feel better by myself. I find it great to spend my time freely without anyone bothering me of what I do.
I have many friends though. But somehow, being alone is better. I tend to watch movies alone, eat alone or go out somewhere alone. I guess I just love spending time with myself which I don't get when i'm working, when i'm with my friends, acquaintances, etc...
I love the idea of being alone but I guess this is okay too, I mean, having people around you.
This "Lifestyle" only works if you are a genius ;)
I, for the summer, have played the Hikikomori for several days of the week; usually I work time to time. But being alone for a while I feel is fine; usually talking to people too much I feel takes away time I could be using to get more pictures off the internet, drawing, etc. And most of the time, I'm quiet for being polite. I say that there's a time to talk and a time for yourself.
My brothers girlfriend asked me one day, "why don't you be more social?" and I said to her "what's wrong with being alone? I like my own company, don't you?" and she shuddered and said "I hate my own company, I have to be around people".
How can you hate your own company? Surely that shows an insecurity in yourself? I love my own company, I feel at home, and at peace.
I'm not in other people dramas or trivial problems, and I can analyse my own problems and try and fix them. I hate being social. Why the hell should I put on some act, when everyone else is doing the same? Life is full of falsities and niceties that in the end, we're all acting and nothing is real. At least in my own head I know I'm being myself.
So being alone is preferential, thank you very much.
Yeah, most people are full of shit. I'd rather not bother. Of course I do have a handful of friends I can trust.
>>72
You're an introvert, she's an extrovert.
Extroverts get energy from socializing, whether it's genuine or fraudulent depends upon their personality.
A little bi-directional understanding helps.
> put on some act, when everyone else is doing the same?
> Life is full of falsities and niceties that in the end, we're all acting and nothing is real.
You've obviously run into one or more bullshitters or maybe even sociopaths, but not everyone is like that.
Some people have empathy... possibly more than they know what to do with and they end up living their life to help others.
> At least in my own head I know I'm being myself.
And only you could know.
I have figured out that acting who you are is faulty. If you don't act then you wont change. And by act i don't mean being a 2 faced asshole, I mean to be kind to other even if you don't mean it, holding a conversation, even if you are not sure you like the other person. here and there you start to notice that your judgments are wrong and after a few surprises, I came to the conclusion that I don't know jack shit about my self, what I enjoy doing and what others are like.
remember that you don't "KNOW", and "KNOW"ing is what will hold you back.
I LOVE people, I mean really realy love people. But I have no interest spending time with more than one person at once. I just like to really know the anyone who I take as my companion (I hate using classifications like friend or lover when it comes to people). I also find myself ignoring others because social niceties like "hi, nice weather isnt it? blah blah blah wank wank" feel so demeaning to us both.
On the outside I look and speak as perfectly normal member of society. But that became possible only after a lot of work. In reality, I prefer solitude and quiet personal pursuits - alone. It'd be nice to have a girlfriend who'd be like this too, just the two of us, loners. Other than that people bug me most of the time. I'm especially allergic to other peoples ideas about what I should be like, what my plans should be and what I should strive for in life. And don't get me started no peer-pressure... After reading this thread I see that there's nothing wrong with me - it gave me a new perspective, something to think deeply about for the rest of the week. Thanks!
“Most of the time I played by myself. Even then I was a loner, and I have stayed a loner all my life. [It] can make a man seem a little distant or aloof -- but it has helped pull me through some tight spots and hard times.” - Roy Wilkins (Black American civil rights Statesman. 1901-1981)
I start with that quote because for me it has a lot of truth in it. I am 16 and a loner as far as the meaning of the word goes. I spend most if not all of my time alone (with the exception of my big sis, mother and partly present father.), I am a bastard, parents never been married but always been around.
I am addicted to all the bad stuff partly because of my loner mind set. I have a lot of rage in me from early years of being the target of bullies and the punchline in countless jokes.
I'm not forced to be alone, I chose to be alone and so far it's working out great. Although I have recently run into a lot of outrage from teachers(ex-teachers now), social workers and unwanted distant family members and the list goes on. And this is my problem apart from being judgmental and having a high level of shallowness in me. I just plain don't like or have the time of day for most if not all( excluding close family members).
It's not because there dumb it's just because they can't understand me and there always trying to correct me as if i was born without a special social gene or something. I agree with a fellow loner who said that every time someone talked to him it felt like he was losing his brain cells, that's exactly how i feel.
I think what i will do in the future is carry on as i am and face the ridicule of those who otherwise do or cannot understand my state of mind. What they cease to understand is that i am free from social rules and regulations on how the proper human must behave.
An INDIVIDUAL is what I and all of you are, be proud of it not only that be part of it don't act like someone you're not just because you'll fit in better only a mindless idiot realist believes in shit like that. I am an Idealist, A free thinker and myself. FIND THE LIGHT BE WHO YOU ARE FIND PEACE!~!~!
Bless you all Catfish Rokembilly LONER & FREE SPIRIT
I plan on operating from within my room as long as possible before I'm forced to kill myself (which is when my parents go bankrupt or I am arrested or I become psychotic from a drug overdose).
i kind of just go unnoticed at school, or atleast i try too. i'd rather just chill by myself than hang out with the other douche bags my age. i've realized really how big of assholes most of my peers are (age 16). i feel very different compared to my peers. my views on things are a lot more open minded, and free while theirs can be quite close minded. i believe the cause of my social deterioration is my interest in psychedelics. it changed my personality, and mindset which completely affected my life at the time. doing acid kind of disconnected me a bit, but its opened me up to so much more. its made me realize the big picutre of things and mature probably about ten years. i feel like i'm in the midst of elementary kids when i go to school every day. it made me realize how lame & fake everyone really is.
so i began isolating myself last year, and slowly but surely, i finally achieved pure isolation from a real social life. i could never decide whether this was good or bad. sometimes i enjoy it, and other times i feel sorry for myself because i never go out. i might go out like every two or three months with friends. but the thing is that i don't like to hang out with anyone my age. i feel like i'm on another level compared to them, and find that i have nothing in common with anyone. so due to isolating myself, i'm left with close to no real friends. i feel awkward hanging out with my old group of friends because i've realized just how deceptive their relationships to each other are. so what i've been forced to do at lunch now, is leave school. i'm way too embarassed to be seen by myself at school so i just leave and walk as far away as possible and then just come back a half an hour later once my next class begins. i'm worried that people will begin to notice what i do, and make fun of me. i hate being judged by other people, it kills me.
but i'm not completely alone. my mom and i get along grandly, and i would choose her over anyone anyday. so whenever i make plans with people, i usually end up flaking out on them because i'd honestly just rather hang with my mom. she's a the type of mom that lets her kids do pretty much everything. we smoke weed together pretty much every day which is quite pleasant. it has made our relationship incredible, and we're now the best of friends. i understand her, and she understands me. being with her has kind of made me realize what love really is.
i've also honestly realized that i prefer animals over humans. they are so much better in so many ways.
i kind of just go unnoticed at school, or atleast i try too. i'd rather just chill by myself than hang out with the other douche bags my age. i've realized really how big of assholes most of my peers are (age 16). i feel very different compared to my peers. my views on things are a lot more open minded, and free while theirs can be quite close minded. i believe the cause of my social deterioration is my interest in psychedelics. it changed my personality, and mindset which completely affected my life at the time. doing acid kind of disconnected me a bit, but its opened me up to so much more. its made me realize the big picutre of things and mature probably about ten years. i feel like i'm in the midst of elementary kids when i go to school every day. it made me realize how lame & fake everyone really is.
so i began isolating myself last year, and slowly but surely, i finally achieved pure isolation from a real social life. i could never decide whether this was good or bad. sometimes i enjoy it, and other times i feel sorry for myself because i never go out. i might go out like every two or three months with friends. but the thing is that i don't like to hang out with anyone my age. i feel like i'm on another level compared to them, and find that i have nothing in common with anyone. so due to isolating myself, i'm left with close to no real friends. i feel awkward hanging out with my old group of friends because i've realized just how deceptive their relationships to each other are. so what i've been forced to do at lunch now, is leave school. i'm way too embarassed to be seen by myself at school so i just leave and walk as far away as possible and then just come back a half an hour later once my next class begins. i'm worried that people will begin to notice what i do, and make fun of me. i hate being judged by other people, it kills me.
but i'm not completely alone. my mom and i get along grandly, and i would choose her over anyone anyday. so whenever i make plans with people, i usually end up flaking out on them because i'd honestly just rather hang with my mom. she's a the type of mom that lets her kids do pretty much everything. we smoke weed together pretty much every day which is quite pleasant. it has made our relationship incredible, and we're now the best of friends. i understand her, and she understands me. being with her has kind of made me realize what love really is.
i've also honestly realized that i prefer animals over humans. they are so much better in so many ways.
Up until I got married in 2006, I was a loner. I did similar things people have described here. I liked TV, internet surfing, anime, eating dinner alone, music (j-pop I hate most American stuff), and working on some projects just to do it.
But the urge to be around other people was always there. So I found a wife and got married. I have a kid now and I am much happier than before, but I tend to find myself wanting to be the loner again. Fortunately she goes to bed early and I am a night owl so I stay up until 1AM or so doing the loner thing.
I'm a loner,always has been.Sometimes I feel good about it because a have a lot of spare time to study,surfe online,watch TV,play video-games,but sometimes I just want to scream and cry.To be completely alone having to face everything alone,its hard.I wish I had a friend,a girlfriend,but that doesn't hapen.
I'm 16 years old and live in Brazil.I study in a very big school,and the workload is very heavy.I can see that there are other people wiyh this pathology.I stay in the classroom during recess doing some math exercises,reading,etc.I don't know if you guys agree,but I think the world is becoming a lonely place.FOR EVERYONE.Each in its own way.My worst fear is that when I'm old there will be no one to take care of me,or to remember me when I die.Thats my worst fear.
Keep studying math and you'll be able to do a lot of great things.
"My whole life now rests upon the fact that loneliness,
far from being a rare and curious phenomenom,is the
central and inevitable fact of human existence." Thomas Wolfe-God's lonely
manIn choosing friends, you want to have the wealth of selection, not mere accumulation.
When you're looking for gold and all you can find is dirt...well, it gets real tough.
>>82
wow, i was all "holy shit i can relate i'm in that exact situation" until the drug bullshit.
I spend most of the times alone, but there's always one day or two a week that I feel like going out and have some fun with other human beings.
I'm a loner by choice, but it didn't start that way.
I just recently got disapointed by my two best friends. We were an awsome trio who just fooled around and had as much fun as we could. But they eventually hooked up together and I obviously felt excluded, and since that very moment I begun seeing more clearly, like a thunderbolt hit my head and cleared my mind...we don't have that much in common anymore, our friendship was based only on fun and it didn't go any further than that; this totally disapointed me.
Since I stopped hanging out with those two, I've discovered I don't have much in common with the rest of my friends either. I'm sick of having friends just because we get along. I want real friends, who come to me without me having to go after them: who share my top favourite things, not just some small coincidences.
Well since I've been unlucky on that lately, I decided that I just should ditch those friends unless they really want to hang out one day or something; but apart from that, I want to be alone. Only I know How to really enjoy my days, even if it means spending a whole afternoon surfing on the net, reading manga, watching tv shows, etc. At least they're stuff I truly enjoy and I dont have to think if my friends like it or not!
The lack of human relationship comes and goes, but I can perfectly deal with it. I don't get desperate or something like that, I won't panic if I don't go out for more than one month: it stings a little, thinking that nobody outthere really cares about me, but at least I'll never disapoint myself.
>>i've also honestly realized that i prefer animals over humans. they are so much better in so many ways.
Like not talking back to you, hm?
Read "the loner's manifesto" and have an epiphany.
>>93 thank you man, it looks really interesting. Gonna order me a copy.
Up until now, I considered my preference to solitude to be something not heavily emotional and fairly simple, but god damn it, nost of the people who replied here aren't loners by any means. The way all of this looks to me from reading your little summaries is that you're just disappointed and depressed.
Not really an emo.
I don't want to kill my self.
I don't hate the world (although there are some bad points) but I just feel more calm when I am alone.
Although, some days I get bored so I hang with my friends....
So I guess I am a healthy loner? ha ha ha - Kira
Homer: So I realized that being with my family is more important
than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square."
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool—not caring, right?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried
everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to
be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?
The allure of a loner is in my own opinion rather interesting. Although I cannot speak for anyone else, I do believe to some degree that being a loner or being alone is a benefit to society; for reasons that are not to be mistaken with socialism. Loners contribute to society unaware; by the mere fact they are usually more intelligent then so-called socialites. Loners are free thinkers, because they think away from the pack; as opposed, with the pack. You may think the old saying, "two heads are better then one", is right and justifiably so; although not on all occasions. Loners have an uncanny ability to know themselves better then socialites. It is because of this reason that more then often the great minds of the last century were introverts; as opposed to extroverts. This has led to the view that people who spend most of their time alone get a somewhat slated ideological viewpoint of reality and tend to think outside the box.
>>103
You yourself seem to worry a lot about being "cool". How's that working out for you, non-loner scum?
I live in a small house by myself in a rural area of Maine. I enjoy the housework, I enjoy gardening, I enjoy being able to see the stars at night. I enjoy hiking in the early morning light, and I enjoy the crisp silence of snowfall. I work in a bookstore about half an hour away and it pays the bills. I get along fine with people, but I honestly prefer the company of the land and a good book.
Been Loner all my life. Married twice but too much hassle. Best to do your own thing in life. Interested in people but don't need them or want involvement. Lovely life. Spend money like water - noone to nag. Down to the last £200 but who needs money with NHS? Live sheltered housing so no probs, Council does it all.
Old age will be good for me cos can just do my own thing but put on the "I need help" bit when necessary. Three children, selfish, uninteresting, and childless. But all married. What more could you want? Perhaps put the £200 on cesarewitch favourite. No other horse stands a chance against him.
So good luck to you youngsters and dont worry about what others say. They don't know how much joy there is in solitude and how much relief in being self sufficient.
Cheers, Jim
I've been a lone wolf all my life, too.
I only had friends in kindergarten. After that I went to a boarding school from the first to the fifth grade. Got bullying by some older students. And when I got back home for weekends... there was no one to hang out with. Got bullying again for years.
Well... I think being a loner is not bad. Of course, sometimes I think how it would be nice to have a friend to chat about cute boys and everything ^_^
But friends mean complications, too. When I see that some friendships can get broken by banal reasons... then I'm glad I don't have any real friendships.
I'm really pleased enough with internet friendships.
And I enjoy having time just for me! :) I've a lot of hobbies which doesn't need a second or more persons.
Maybe I'll miss a life with friends when I get older (I'm 20 now) ... but I think if I had a life with friends... then I would think later why I never did have enough time just for me alone...
My name is Chantel, I have been a loner my whole life. I had also fought it my whole life because society told me subconciously something was wrong with such anti social behavior. Now I am still a loner however about 2 years ago I went on a huge spiritual trip. I got lost in my world and now seems I have lost something inside of me. I filled the void with words of comfort, meditations, and various other things. Now I feel similar to other people here, what is the point? I love my solitude however I know I would sacrifice that for a person who could inspire me to dig deeper into my "faith". I have been studying tantra in "the book of secrets" it is composed for a person who is introverted, only a strong introvert can use it correctly. It is full of 112 meditations, and if you are interested in phycology and trying to get the "skeletons out of the closet" then it is for you! It took me over a year to finish. I wanted to share that because I'm a very spiritual person; however no religion seems to have any solid answer with no flaws. This is the main reason I am so distant from people. Most that I talk to seem to be living in a facade that cannot be broken by anyone but themselves. I wish I knew someone like me every day, I too feel as the years pass they go faster. This scares me because I am a hard worker and in so many ways I am beautiful, and I love people so much if I could only be a part of one or two peoples lives it would be so rewarding. Alas it seems I will find none to look into my eyes and see my soul. I'm 23 and am sure this sorrow will only increase. I watched my mother in her 30's and 40's panick over her solitude. I would rather not have a day to where I see all the times I could have built something and ended up with hours of television, I want to expand my mind and tv, video games, and other things that sedate a busy mind are not going to keep me happy. Its too bad that loners don't reach out to eachother. Lost in utah..... meangreen169@aol.com
People are awesome once you learn to push their buttons. I recommend acting classes.
haha my verification word was scabitch!It's funny how as loners,we all have so much in common.I believe that if you really feel happy being alone,then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.I am one of thousands of people that feel alone,whether I am actually alone,or have many people around me at one time.I've always been singled out my whole life,as an outcast.I believe there is a reason for this,which I am still trying to figure out.I don't hate people,but I do hate what most people are about.Sort of like how some Christians say,"Hate the sin,not the sinner." I believe alot of my alienation,now that I'm pushing 30,comes from my own self-doubt brought on by my childhood.I am beginning to realize that your thoughts shape the world around you,as is modern science.What I'm trying to get at is,if you really are a loner,then fine,but don't pretend to be one as an excuse to escape issues that you need to deal with.
Loner, here....
I suppose I started noticing just how much of a loner I was at around 12. I grew up around adults. Never developed a social life w/ peers. By 18, I was convinced that there WAS a group of 'Loner's' and I was probably just as cool as all of them. By 20, nothing was cool. No friends. The one I loved was not a lover. Career was stressful, I was 'successful,' but not popular, couldn't control my tongue, pissed everyone off for the fun of it. Just to watch their expressions change, as they say. I internalized everything until I had one of those 'dehydration' break downs. Basically, I wound up in a hospital screaming and screaming my head off....I'm shocked I'm still not in a loony bin today, and somewhat disappointed about it, because people in the condition I was in need more help than what was provided. I am not so angry anymore. Now I am just alone. When I am with others, and always. There is always only me, and I can tell you I am not that fun.
i like being alone, i wish ppl would just leave me alone, but they refuse to, there's always someone that needs to be "entertained" a boss, a friend, a parent, a family member, wish they'd all just get off my back and leave me friggin alone
I think most of the people in this thread (including myself) can related to this article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
Now, I think calling it a "disorder" is rather harsh since we are all very functioning individuals, but this is undoubtedly a "condition" we all have.
The part of the article on the "secret schizoid" describes myself and many others in this thread perfectly. We can be very social when necessary and even have a really interesting and interactive personality, but in the end we prefer genuine solitude to relationships with others. Definitely read the "secret schizoid" section of the article too.
I love you guys.
In a 'but please stay away from me' sort of way though; of course.
I don't know if I'm a schizoid or an avoidant. Sometimes I think it's be nice to get along with people; most of the time, I think I'm fine without them. Every now and then, I observed people and think to myself how very interesting they all are...
I like them, but I don't really want to interact with them.
>>117, Schizoid personality is both more common and more strictly defined than you let these guys beleive; our society has a tendency to treat loners as diseased. You guys likely fit not well because you lack narcissist drive and dread of interaction (though earlier posters do). I went schizoid once, and say, don't idoize a disease.
All hail the collective! Solitary man is natural, but obsolete?
You guys probably already know about this, but in case you haven't, you'll be interested in this. Do bear in mind it's only about 70-80% accurate
http://www.41q.com/index.41q
http://www.personalitypage.com/portraits.html
I'm INFP, how 'bout you?
>>120
There was a different test on 4chans /jp/, which I scored INTP on.
I 100%
N 79%
T 100%
P 69%
But on this test, I score ISTP, too bad the scoring system is fucked up, so lets say 0 is fully extroverted, and 18 is full introverted, if you took the test this should be somewhat obvious.
I 14
S 6
T 0
P 10
Mostly with these tests I feel I have both qualities, such as this question, number 4:
Do you prize more in yourself:
a vivid imagination, or
a strong sense of reality?
I have both goddamn.
Facts:
speak for themselves, or
illustrate principles?
Wut they speak for themselves but facts do so much more. This is fucking bullshit.
>>121
Well actually I'm not exactly sure about the NTP scores, I know for a fact the I was 100% though, and that NT were very high. P not so. Or whatever. I will try to find the same test.
I HATE forced socializing. Damn near everyone I meet thinks I owe them friendship, as if the sole reason why I exist is to be their fucking god damned friend. They even go out of their way to figure out my schedule so they can put themselves in my path at a time they know I'll be there just to force me to "coincidentally" bump into them so we could make friends. It's fucking retarded, and somehow I'M the one who's wrong. Since when was there a law passed that stated we HAVE to make friends? Why can't people just go fuck off? Can't they understand that my life does NOT revolve around them? I have MORE IMPORTANT things to do in MY time than make friends with people that don't fucking matter to me.
tl,dr: fuck people.
So, I admittedly didn't read the whole thread here but there's something I've been thinking about lately I'd like to get some other people's thoughts on.
It seems many of us watch or read some type of drama, be it anime or live-action, fantasy or sci-fi. Now, does it bother you at all that perhaps this media we consume is a drug. A social drug. We don't socialize--root cause of that aside--but we're still human, we still long for some sort of social connection and we fulfill that with one-way connections to fictional characters.
There's a study somewhere suggesting that substituting media for real relationships is actually highly effective at mollifying need for social interaction, except that the "crash" when the series/movie/book ends can be even worse.
I know for me I watched "Avatar: The Last Airbender" and fell hopelessly in love with Katara. Watched "Densha Otoko" and "Boys Over Flowers," same thing.
Thoughts, guys?
Well if you are using media to...well feed your need for social interaction, and then go and post about being a loner on a friggin message board, then don't you think you're not really that much of a loner to begin with?
Real loners don't sit at home and talk about how being loners to other people. No, they go out in the woods and live like wildmen (or wildwomen, no need for discrimination here) and don't interact with any humans at all.
So yeah, sorry but either go to the mountains or go outside.
Yeah, really, if you guys truly wanted to be alone, you wouldn't all be connecting here on this board.
I think that's what >>124 is trying to say, some of us might not actually be the detached, stoic creatures we think we are. Instead, we fill our void media and message boards.
I am somewhat of a loner (age 24). It's not that I don't want to have friends (in fact, I would gladly have some more friends), but I feel more comfortable being alone than being with others. I feel like I just don't have that much to discuss with people. People usually either gossip about others, complain about stuff or talk about things they have seen or want to own (most guys I know talk about cars and computers, I don't really care about either). To be honest there are very few things in life that I really care about.
Discussing things with people is usually not so great either, only people that are truly open to the opinion of others and willing to review their own if you make a good argument are any fun to discuss with. But you very rarely come across such people and often it's hard to befriend them (either because they are like me and don't put in the effort, or they have a billion friends already).
Also, I've always felt that I could see straight through people and see their intentions for what they are. For example, I have a pretty good ability to spot it when people lie to me. It means I also see the ugly 'hidden' side everyone has... in essence people primarily care about themselves (I am not different though). Most people I befriend are people that cannot hurt me in any way (so people 'weaker' socially than me), or people that are brutally honest. My friendships usually don't last when I stop seeing these people at whatever school I am attending at the time.
Whenever I go some place new (again at school I suppose), I usually end up socializing a bit at first. But at some point it's like I can no longer put in the effort and just drift away from social groups.
At times I think about how it would be nice to go somewhere with friends though. But then I think about where I would want to go and there are not many places I am really interested in where normal people hang out.
I have a girlfriend with who I have been for a few years, first girl I've ever been with. I intend to marry her because I do want to have my own family and I do love her. It's not always easy though and sometimes I'd rather be alone for a while, but I think the benefits do outweigh the negatives.
an obsessive man's boot camp so that no one woman is the object of their thoughts unless it's reciprocated
true love. So that loners will be an accepted community, so they don't go and shoot up schools
and workplaces. This will entail watching films with true stalkers and role reversal, and
commentary about these movies. They will be toughened like water downed soldiers. They will
treat a paint ball gun as the real thing. And group sharing
of feelings will be punishment, however once or twice and week they will
have to do it as adaptive techniques for job placement. We will go over what it is to be nice
vs actually liking you.
If you ask me media is just a substitute drug. totally agree on that.
The tests are a terrible way to learn your MBTI personality. Rather, you need to actually get a proper understanding of the functions, and decide for yourself.
(and if doing that sort of thing doesn't interest you, you're probably a Sensor)
I don’t know if I would be classified as a loner. I have just lost the drive to put forth the effort necessary to have friends. People desire too much of my time, and for the most part, I enjoy having my personal space. Everyone I’ve ever met has either immediately wanted to date me, which creeps me out, or wants me to constantly hang out with them, leaving no time for myself. I enjoy having extra hours in the day to explore my imagination and pursue my hobbies.
I never hang out with friends as much as I want to. But this is not helped by the fact that I live far away from any civilisation.
>>124
I'd agree, but I'd also say you really need to distance yourself from what is fiction. I have to distance myself from my own fantasies often. I keep it in check.
Im 19 now and im also an introvert. I just watch K-dramas, animes, read mangas, 9gag, and use my laptop the whole day. I have some friends but since Im in college now, Im finding it hard to make new ones (my old ones are left in my country). Such a pain...im too shy and awkward. Most of the time I have no idea what to say. Is it just me? I mean how do you deal with this? Its summer and as usual im cooped up in my room just watching animes. My sister keeps telling my sad and pathetic I am but im perfectly happy this way. I mean I look to go out occasionally but sometimes its a pain. Im not even like a geeky girl (as you would describe it). Im normal looking but just socially awkward. Any comments? :)
>>135
As long as you're not dropping out of society and the developing world in general, you're fine. Keep doing what makes you happy.
I can't imagine the sort of fortitude it takes to be a genuine loner, as the OP puts it. To live without the need for the warmth of love or the joy of brotherhood. If such a creature exists, they must derive such happiness from their passions.
As for me, I'm pretty mediocre at my hobbies. I rely on interaction from my girlfriend and her family, with no real social interaction outside of that. I am never solicited to be more social. Maybe it's because nobody is interested in me, but I think it's mostly because I don't solicit anybody to socialize with me. I can't complain. Strangers outside of anonymous boards make me uncomfortable.
To be more relevant to the topic, seeming happy and energetic while keeping boundaries is the best way to avoid unwanted interaction.
Even if I'm not a genuine loner, I understand the pain of somebody talking to you while you're perfectly content without them. The unwanted risk of ego is what makes it worst for me. I'm always afraid I'll say something stupid and beat myself up for it the next month.
Went to a friend's birthday on Sat. I was the only one among her friends who was not also a work friend or attached in that fashion. Also the only single. It still feels wrong to me, like I shouldn't have been there. I thought I'd made some serious changes in the past year, but really I'm still the same bitter, lonely, frustrated man I've always been. The only difference is that I feel I am really a man now, instead of a boy.
It may be just as well. I've never been in a good relationship because I'm neurotic and sexually deviant. My parents and family want me to have a "normal" relationship and a normal life, but I don't think I'd be able to stand it even if I could do that. I'll probably end up spending every hour I can working, so that I can make large amounts of money and on my down time sit alone in my apartment with my music on and pornography on my TV. Those are my best prospects.
I could be a loner. I like being alone far better than being with other people. I'm really irritable at school, too. The only time I can really relax is when I'm without company. The thought of living in one of those big abandoned missile silos all by myself sounds really cool to me.
I don't really know if I fall under the conditions set by here for being a 'loner' but a recent event made me realize something about myself. So here I am sitting next to my classmate during a seminar in the school auditorium, we start talking to pass the time and I was fine with that. As soon as we got out of the auditorium she followed me and still wanted to talk, I didn't hate her and I didn't think she was a bad talker either, but basically I cut her off and walked out of sight as soon as I could. It felt like a mean thing to do, and yet when I walked away I felt...at peace, as if it was natural for me to be alone. I felt like I was in my natural state.
Weird.
I feel that such a move to promote through the media in relation to Japan, China, South Korea, the bad feelings between countries, are the anti-Japanese sentiment and activity on the mainland, the right-wing domestic activity further I wish I've got to. . Oh, so-called dirty media.
I am one of Japan.
In primary school I had very few friends. I remember being in an odd position in which I wanted to talk to someone, but not any of the people who were actually around to talk about. So I talked to myself. It was wonderful; I would spend almost all of my free time alone, contemplating philosophical concepts.
Come secondary school I made the prerequisite number of friends not to be picked on, some of them acquaintances from primary school. Looking back, not only did I have little in common with any of them, but I didn't actually like any of them. I just felt some sort of need for companionship. Even this waned over time.
After secondary, I finally admitted to myself that I didn't want or need friends. From that point on, I have only ever had acquaintances, and even those only as many as are useful to me. It is perfect. I can easily come across as simply slightly introverted when in fact I have no interest in any sort of relationship whatsoever. Admittedly my situation is unlike some of yours insofar as I have no problem with other people, simply no interest.
I don't think I've went out with friends for like what, 6 years now? They know better than to invite me by now. I don't particularly hate maybe talking to a few close friends in college but given the choice I like it better here in my room.
That said, I wouldn't mind having a partner, not that I think anyone would be attracted to me in a (at least close) future.
I'm so lonely. It's been almost 4 years since I've had any friends whatsoever... no one talks to me, and I doubt anyone would ever love me.
I've ended up really loathing myself over these years..
I just wish someone would love me.. talk to me, be my friend.. I dunno..
I'm so lonely. It's been almost 4 years since I've had any friends whatsoever... no one talks to me, and I doubt anyone would ever love me.
I've ended up really loathing myself over these years..
I just wish someone would love me.. talk to me, be my friend.. I dunno..
>This thread isn't for those with social anxiety or those who want relationships with others but are too shy to get them. This, rather, is for people who genuinely enjoy being alone, from at least most of the time to all of the time.
For me both are true. I enjoy being alone. Just in a quiet room, doing whatever I want to do. At the same time I'd enjoy having a good friend or two, to go places once every two weeks and hang out or something.
I would say that I spend maybe 4 hours a week in the explicit company of other people (i.e., "hanging"), if it were to be averaged, while the rest of it is spent in my apartment wholly alone. When I have spent time with people, I have to force the words out of my mouth, "...So what did you do then?", because I'm not actually curious what happened then, but if I don't prompt the person, they will think I'm ignoring them. If I was ignoring them, they could not see me. I don't mind being talked at, but as soon as I have to participate with the same amount of enthusiasm and energy as the others, I lose interest. I'm not very energetic, I'm not very positive, but I'm not very bothered, so no, I don't care what Shelly did, but I don't mind you telling me.
Being alone is FINE as long as you are fine with it. As soon as you're alone but wish you were something else, and cannot, it's purgatory, you can't do anything, and there's nothing to do in the mean time.
I just watch a lot of sitcoms uploaded to YouTube, and get as high as I can as often as I can, with caffeine, pot, good music, jerking off, dancing about, whatever, to feel manic and lively.
Step out into the cool night air, and feel the aloneness!
