Man, soylent green is really good. I wonder what its made of?
Just keep doing what you're doing. More ladies in chainmail bikinis couldn't hurt though.
What happened to my pet lizard once it got out of its cage?
It is like watching every episode of Gatchaman without taking a break.
I'm thinking of trying ecstasy. What should I expect?
Technically, you can, but you better stock up on adult diapers first.
What should I do with this poteto that I'm slicing into Franch Frais?
Silly dokyuun, there are no girls there!
HAY ANY HAWT CHIKS WANNA HOOK UP 19/M/USA
It was only available as a b-side on the blue-vinyl 7" of The Blues Are Still Blue.
Did Belle & Sebastian really record the Internationale?
They already have that in the UK.
I went up the road to New York the other day, and i drove around a weird circle road thing, god it was confusing! I asked a policeman and he said it was a "roundabout"! Have you ever heard of anything so crazy in your life?
It's where you break half a custard cream and half a chocolate bourbon biscuit, and press the creamy halves together. It works with oreos too.
Hmm, you're a pretty sexy plug. What are your specs?
I coulda swore I told you, they're ex-humans who lost their humanity in some freak accident and ended up with that particular deviation.
Zombies?! You damn scientists didn't tell us that they're motherfucking zombies?!
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!
You know, we were all pretty drunk and phone and me just saw her and... Hey it's not personal, mate! There's no need to break up with her!
Interesting, considering your love for big boobs. Oh, the phone's ringing... Yes? Hello? Yeah, Freud here!
Hi, this is Jung, is Siggy there?
It was simply a terrible set up, it's not like you could have done any better.
Do you hate me for cumming too fast?
Oh lord, you're such a knobhead... Of course not!
Is Arudou Debito a genius?
Try some Xanax and some Zoloft, it really helped my friend.
How did you know I was such a nerd?
The placebo effect on steroids
What is the most slippery slippery slope argument?
The greatest invention before sliced bread.
How would you describe a bread knife?
He's been posting replies to himself all that time, using lines from Morrissey's We'll Let You Know
Who is that strange dude over there, and why does he look so mad?
It's like jazz run over by a japanese steam-powered steamroller through a broken amp.
What are Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra like live?
That's what I meant by "It's been done"
Hey guys! I'm going to fansub the newest movie!
Like being hit by an attractive lady.
What's it like to be hit by an attractive lady?
It's an emergency, there's no more "Wait and see"
I wonder what happens when we run out of mittens... let's find out?
I was thinking of an image macro and trying not to laugh.
Why were you giggling at your husband's funeral?
Nah, I'm not really into pokemon.
Have you tried the new Ubuntu release?
I don't mind when you come round, though if it's the weekend I just might be in bed
Hey man, do you like Ubuntu?
Aw man, i totally hate it. Seriously.
You know when you're making out on your sofa with your girl, and the phone rings and it's her dad, but she then tells you her dad died a long time ago?
Yeah, he used to be such a sweet boy, holding so tightly to his daddy's hand
>>75, I heard you knew Hillary Clinton when she was a kid.
No you can't, the cat just gets stuck, and it never works quite right after that.
Can't we just suck it out?
Oh my God. Its full of stars
Look, I cut a gash in my belly with a scalpel, is this awesome y/n?
Give in to the pressure, the cop's gonna get you
Should I prove EVO IS NO.1 on the public road?
Nitromethane plus Nitrous Oxide
How the fuck can the Flash make clothes out of thin air?
its pronounced E-JIT
My Scottish friend keeps calling me "idjit" in messages to me, what does it mean? I think it's an insult
The more you ignore him, the closer he'll get
Am I wasting my time with him? Look at him, he's fallen asleep with his head on the bar. Should I just forget him and find someone else?
Yeah, let me in please
Hello this is the tanasinn chamber. If you enter you must leave your shadow with us, and you may never return to the outside world. Would you like to enter?
I will take 5 of those please.
Even though they are cheaper in bulk, they remain quite horrible... Are you sure you want to order a bonsai kitten, sir?
You must construct additional pylons.
How do I make my penis bigger?
King Arthur.
Who was the British geologist that discovered a very unique rock formation?
Because she ate all the donuts at the Krispy Kreme.
Why did Diana really die?
Meat, and lots of it. That is the only way.
How could I help Morrissey be a more commercially successful recording artist?
At least think about the implications!
I have the ability to make DQN the world's most popular website, therefore I should, right?
It's the only reason why I bother getting up at all in the morning.
Am I the only one who thinks sleep is the best thing in the world?
Try relaxing your anus.
Is there anything I can do to improve my dance style?
Hot peppers, onions, tomatoes, and light mayo.
I'm interested in a great sub, but one that sets me apart as a ladies man - any suggestions?
Listen to them - they are more experienced.
The voices in my head keep telling me to kill myself! What should I do?
Yes, with the possible exception of chocolate pudding.
Is it weird for my food to be the same color in my feces?
Two boxes of Cheerios and a carton of milk.
So let me get this straight - you took on the entire North Korean army and won, while armed only with WHAT?
Because it's winter.
Why is it only 65 degrees and all the plants are green?
I want to take it easy.
Why did you favourite this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKrTGBq74wg&feature=related
She's a good girl, ain't she?
Have you seen that lead singer of Tokio Hotel?
I was thinking about something from my childhood.
Holy fuck, your paintings are disturbing, to say the least. What inspires you?
Yeah, one's viagra, and one's like sudafed or something, you leave them in an envelope somewhere for someone to pick them up lol
Why did you scream and run away when you saw that church guy?
Because he is a panda.
How can there be evidence supporting claims that Jesus was both black AND white?
11 year olds, from what I hear.
What is this year's hot new trend?
The third trimester is the new 18, so they say
What's with so many students killing themselves before third trimester starts?
It's the law, I'm afraid. You're coming with me.
Can't a man masturbate alone in the privacy of his home?
Infinity-plus-one.
How many days are there in September?
I'm afraid DQN's character count per post is insufficient to answer this question. You should probably read the book "電波男" by Tooru Honda if you really want to know.
I need to know what the fist 5000 words in "電波男" by Tooru Honda are. Can someone post them for me?
I doubt it, your sister was the same.
Are there girls not totally fascinated by those stupid rocks stars created by Disney?
It is like being bukkake'd by guys with erectile dysfunction.
What does it feel like to have twelve garden snakes right in front of your face?
That's why you don't hire statisticians to mow your lawn.
What the! Why is my lawn shaved down to a bell curve?
The first one is free, then they got ya hooked.
How do tobacco companies get more young people to smoke?
Saturday the 14th.
Do we have a date yet?
You wish!
Who says "Oppai Oppai!" in that other thread?
Do you have a question about that other thread?
Because it's written in LISP.
Everthing I read aloud in thith post thounds like thith. Whatth up with that?
Seven, if you keep them warm.
With current advances in medical science, how many donor penises could I graft onto my body without succumbing to rejection or infection?
That's a really good idea, you should try definitely try that, but let me get my digital camera first so I can capture this moment for future enjoyment or cash prizes.
Should I fight Sigma without any armor upgrades aside from those fucking boots?
No. Everyone chooses him because they figure since it's about the holy sword, he's got to be the main character, but I don't give a shit how strong he is, since he's slow as fuck while Kevin is a double-hitting badass, despite being overshadowed by that flamboyant fangirl-magnet, Hawkeye.
I chose him because I figured that since it's about the holy sword, this dude's got to be the MC; and I'm telling ya he's powerful as fuck.
Never got round to using that Kevin dude yet though, wondering if he's any good. You reckon I should stick with my current guy?
If the price is right and the place is secure.
Should I go to a brothel downtown?
I, for one, welcome our new overlords.
What a fucking pain, I just want to spawn more zerglings, but this character limit forces me to spend precious minerals on floating brain-sheep. What do you think?
I would have to pick the sexy lady gremlin from Gremlins 2.
Did you or did you not take your medicine today?
Well, it depends on the shape and structure of the broken object.
Why don't you like my new shetland sheepdog puppy?
Yeah, I got your "positional stabilizer" right here, pal.
Did you get the cock ring I sent you the other day?
That's old enough for me.
Old enough to pee?
Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
Have you ever been in Bangkok at twelve o'clock, foamed at the mouth and run?
You can do that, but be be prepared to clean up a big mess afterwards if you do.
Should I eat 12 packs of Metamucil?
Because much to my own sadness, Reimu will never be as popular as that slut Marisa.
Why can't you play Embodiement of the Scarlet Devil without crying?
Well, I don't think you've much experience in dealing with the Zulus.
In Civilization III, I'm trying to get Writing off of the Zulu, who have a much weaker military than I do. I have nothing to trade, so I'm demanding it. What am I doing wrong?
You don't want to hang out with them, they're all gay or transvestites.
Do you think I should post in the "[Gay] In this thread we call the previous poster gay or a transvestite [Transvestites]" thread?
That's actually just a Frisbee.
What the hell is that thing coming out of my dog's ass?
The head of John the Baptist.
What the hell is that thing coming out of my dog's ass?
Everyone thinks they're so great because they take cute pictures that you can put on the internet, but in reality they're always bitchy and mean and just generally suck as pets.
Why do people like cats?
What the hell is that thing coming out of my dog's ass?
How can you fail at a thread so badly?
Take six Tylenol 3s, two Robaxacet, and two anti-histamines. Call me when you wake from your coma.
...
June 6th, 1901, that's the same day Hitler had a one-night stand with Churchill
When the hell did that thing come out of my dog's ass?
The cure for that has been with you all along.
/k/ommando here, Lately I've been so depressed. Any one know of a good way to cure depression?
Lesbian Monkeys from Outer Space!
What are your thoughts on the the Bonobos and what is your theory as to why they are only found in the Democratic Republic of Congo?
I don't know, go ask Squeeks
WWSD?
A shaven monkey prostitute.
Goddamnit, I can't get an erection off from normal porn. What helps you get off easily?
This society's like totally corrupt'n'shit. Like, you know, big corporations are ruining our like spirituality and stuff, like totally...
I never wanted my multimillion dollar job. Should I quit now and become a hippie?
Wrap it up in toilet paper, and flush it down.
What should I do with this dead horse?
I don't think Squeeks is ever coming back.
I got a postcard from Squeeks that just said "Greetings from Mexico!" Do you thing he'll bring me a present?
That's between you and God.
Why does God hate me?
A monkey with fours asses.
What happens when deranged morons get genetic modification machinery?
William the pigeon
Who was the least respected medieval English king?
Twist it up, smoke it down, lah-de-dah-de-dah