[NOVEL] DQN Short Novel [SHORT] (999)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6520 20:59

Add on to this sentence
-----------------------

In the year 5000, when man is spreading himself across the solar system,

150 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6563 11:56

I like Claire!

151 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6563 19:27

was the name of the company set up to manufacture the toys. What the Great Sky Loli didn't know, however, was that

152 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6563 23:55

nobody really liked Claire, who

153 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6564 00:06

was actually 2-Amino-3-(1H-indol-3-yl)propanoic acid-chan, who was actually Marisa Kirisame, who was actually a girl with schizophrenia.

154 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6565 20:10

from THE FUTURE

155 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6565 20:26

to which she would inevitably have to return in the tear-jerking final scene. But before that, she

156 Name: ڤ( l _ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6565 22:08

totally hit on Beady Eyes. As soon as he

157 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6565 22:17

revealed that he had died on several occasions (>>71,72,87,88,103,104,143,144), she realised that

158 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6565 23:26

penis

159 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6565 23:51

is not something he ever had

160 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 09:24

lacked

161 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 14:09

the capacity to talk about at great length. This was probably due to the fact he didn't have one, having lost it in

162 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 14:15

the great beady eyes war of 1992, which was started due to

163 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 14:22

a lack of the eyes needed to cook good soup for both world leaders.

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 18:04

Editor's note: >>162 was sacked for his blasphemous mention of times prior to 1993, which obviously cannot exist in the universe.

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 19:34

Meanwhile, in Poland, the GSL (Great Sky Loli) had just made a SHOCKING REVELATION!! It turns out that Claire

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 19:58

totally hit on Beady Eyes. As soon as he

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 20:34

penis

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6566 20:39

mightier than the sword, he agreed.

169 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 00:57

he put on a frilly dress and touhou hat

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 07:24

grabbed a bat just in case

171 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 12:12

and went out to the universe to celebrate a lack of christmas.

172 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 12:34

"It's a Festivus for the rest of us," he squeaked in his high squeaky voice.

173 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 16:11

Yet before he knew it, his frilly dress

174 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 21:26

and Touhou hat

175 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6567 22:43

started a christmas festival, right there, right then.

176 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 09:34

Which Reimu perceived as another "incident," and so she came to subdue the haunted dress and hat with a spray of ofuda danmaku. Meanwhile--

177 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 12:25

the Polish uprising against their tyrannical overlord, the GSL, was approaching fruition. In just two days,

178 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 14:25

Reimu's danmaku accidentally reached the headquarters of the Polish uprising and

179 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 14:29

and then the characters killed the author.

180 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 17:05

As the author was, of course, the one who wrote this, it was considered suicide. At the author's funeral,

181 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 17:46

members of the Westboro Baptist Church

182 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 18:23

183 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 18:28

did not like that persons twitter account so they

184 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 18:41

tracked down the owner, kidnapped him and slowly

185 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 19:28

stroked his earlobes.

186 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 19:34

As the Ferengian moaned in ecstasy,

187 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 22:17

the Westboro Baptist cultists plunged a

188 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6568 22:25

hamster

189 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6569 00:22

right into his wide, gaping...

...plot holes.

190 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6571 18:10

Without warning, a huge

191 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6571 19:37

statue of H.P. Baxxter was erected

192 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6571 19:56

right in front of a mysterious alien's

193 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 00:45

flux capacitator.

194 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 10:23

After craftily hiding the glowing letter Y inside his

195 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 11:15

Y-chromosomes, he

196 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 13:20

began a ritual to invoke the

197 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 15:34

masculinity that lies in the heart of every true boy across the galaxy! And, slowly but surely,

198 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 19:14

bystanders began to point and laugh

199 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 20:21

Their interruption caused the ritual to go awry, resulting in

200 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 20:30

the GSL suddenly deciding to ban the letter Y inside the nation of Canada, unaware that

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6572 21:05

the failure of the masculinity invoking ritual had caused every man in the galaxy to become a catgirl!

202 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6573 13:02

"Nya~!" said the former Gerald Jay Sussman, before

203 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6573 13:23

conjuring our spirits with

204 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6573 13:26

the aid of an absurdly oversized

205 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6573 17:26

Canadian, eh?

206 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6573 18:13

The sudden influx of catgirls caused a dramatic increase in

207 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6573 21:21

nerd murders

208 Name: ڤ( l _ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6573 22:59

by people suffering from Moéshit Redundancy Disorder which

209 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6574 22:08

was reported to the Department of Redundancy Department.

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6574 23:12

and that message accidentally was received by the Ministry of Silly Walks.

211 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6574 23:44

penis

212 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6574 23:57

shaped protrusions were found on the side of

213 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 02:27

his penis, which

214 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 10:27

exploded into many dick fragments, killing at least 3, including

215 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 11:01

the author.

(The remains of this manuscript were received posthumously.)

216 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 11:51

Suddenly, a corpse fell through the skylight!

217 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 15:47

The deadly dick fragments had claimed their fourth victim:

218 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 18:31

The great GSL herself! Unfortunately, the corpse

219 Name: ڤ( l _ l ),T!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6575 19:14

was mistakenly delivered to the Ministry of Silly Walks, thus patching up the plot a bit. Meanwhile, in Japan

220 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6575 19:15

Godzilla

221 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6576 08:16

movies remained inexplicably popular. Roger Ebert, on a trip to Fukushima, accidentally grew to a height of 700 ft, and gave the NHK news report about his subsequent exploits three thumbs up.

222 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 00:39

And that, children, is how Nyan Cat was created.

The end.

223 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 04:36

Part 2: Vultures on the boundary of the river wheel

224 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 05:58

Battle Tendency Electric Boogaloo Stardust Crusaders: EXTREME EDITION:+

225 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 10:41

It was a quiet day and the children were playing serendipitously on the riverbank just outside the quaint village of

226 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 14:53

Detroit

227 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 15:41

Suddenly, a huge river wheel came

228 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6577 17:14

tumbling down from the mountains crushing all in its path. Behind it,

229 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 00:30

Detroit was unfortunately not crushed.

230 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 00:34

However, Dearborn was crushed, and the factories that belonged to Ford

231 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 01:54

cried out in anguish, "How could this occur?
We worked and toiled, but all it was for naught,
Our dreams and cars are crushed by vicious Fate.
The river wheel turns without remorse,
Like time and death it has no love nor hate,
Its monstrous spokes whirl as a heartless beast,
Blindly striking down both weak and strong,
And as it spins, we people sing this song:"

232 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 02:05

"Fate, savage and empty, you are a turning wheel, your position is uncertain, your favour is idle and always likely to disappear; covered in shadows and veiled you bear upon me too; now my back is naked through the sport of your wickedness."

So sang the survivors of Dearborn as the river wheel tumbled through and onto its next destination:

233 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6578 04:22

Dr. Robotnik's lab

234 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6579 11:07

which was demolished in a matter of seconds. Dr Robotnik

235 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6579 12:58

, however, managed to survive for several more minutes due to a previously unknown mysterious

236 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6579 13:51

property of excessive body fat.

237 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 05:19

Meanwhile, back in Detroit, the playground was pregnant with sexual tension.

238 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 06:41

Suddenly, a wild Snorlax appears.

239 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 14:20

It accidentally inhales 5 children.

240 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6582 14:56

And then made suggestive comments and sexually harassed the shocked bystanders. The moral of this tale is, of course,

241 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6603 16:17

that as long as long as you know which direction is North

242 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6603 17:58

you can easily fart a

243 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6603 18:31

happy tune

244 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6604 13:25

with your buttocks

245 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6604 13:31

clenched in a furious state of tetany. Anyway, as we discussed in >>1,

246 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6610 21:04

twenty three hyphens

247 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6610 21:15

isn't a proper

248 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6610 21:18

acceptable discussion of nouns

249 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6610 21:22

but that's ok because grammar is bullshit anyway

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.