... were high in protein, and low on carbs! He learned about this diet from...
gnawing on his own
productive analysis, chiefly comprised of observations of overweight and obese pedestrians. Thereafter
cat fanny
, the affectionate nickname of Lord...
Catfannerkins, said to the dieting assassin,
who helped people lose weight by killing their appetites.
, "You've killed my appetite. Now it's time for a new target:
to infinity; and beyond! Come with me,
if you want to live
you must perform fellatio
on the Golden Phallus, hidden in the depths of
Arkanthar's caverns that descend toward its now cool, solid core, composed primarily of
butt
and latex.
Meanwhile, George Bush CXIXX is discovering the first time-machine ever made, that will allow him to avoid the political mistakes of the past, with one flaw...
When it sends you back in time, you arrive completely naked.
And so, arriving in
the year 2525, he met Robopa. [ Lɯ`] Beep boop.
"Why would a robot need to drink?" asked George.
"You haven't met Beady Eyes yet, have you?" responded the world-weary robot, who was drinking Robot Gin.
Meanwhile, the aforementioned Beady Eyes
died and was swiftly
resurrected with
magical phoenix semen
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Meanwhile, George twiddled his thumbs and
found himself becoming strangely attracted to Robopa.
George, you see, had metamorphosed into an electromagnet while we were all staring horrified at Beady Eyes.
Unfortunately, we all know the effects of powerful magnets on computer storage devices.
Suddenly, this entire exchange was overshadowed by
the giant loli in the sky
looking for her lost cat. However, who should then appear but
Beady eyes, in a cat costume
who began to maliciously
urinate
with vinegar
The great sky loli was not pleased with this turn of events,
and killed him.
However, Beady Eyes is immortal and
burps a lot
Knight of the Round Table
who walks a lot
and spams a lot
and listens to post-randomcore-folk-gypsy-punk.
Suddenly, a plot device appeared!
Which was quickly stolen by beady eyes! "What are you going to do about it?", he says.
[100 blank pages in the middle of the book]
were expunged at the request of the publisher, no matter how much the author whinged about how they would be utterly essential to his vision as a true artiste, and so on. When his editor tried to calm him down by saying that paper doesn't grow on trees, the author needed to have a long lie-down. Eventually, though, he did get his revenge by
breaking the fourth wall and placing a passage of himself talking to his publisher into the middle of his story. Meanwhile, in Cambodia,
a 100GET is bundled into an unmarked cloth sack and thrown onto the back of a cargo ship bound for New York. At this time, nobody could have known that
Deequn is sitting alone in his room, under the light of his desk lamp. It's a dark, cloudy night. In all this loneliness, Deequn wished for the girl he just drew on paper to be real. Suddenly...!
>>101
his window shatters and rips through the piece of paper.
"Ha ha," laughed Beady Eyes, who--
died when the carrot he had stuffed up his ass exploded.
A Clonepa, witnessing the explosion, said "Wow, that's a lot of
PINGAS", shortly before being consumed by the blast.
Meanwhile, less than two blocks away, sinister plans approached completion as
Grandpa minced among bad vats and jeroboams in the hissing laboratory under his house, preparing a
clone of himself... this was the BIRTH of the CLONEPA. His works came to fruition, and before long
( EΦE) I got to eat ice cream!
But this was no ordinary ice cream
, oh no...
It was CLONECREAM!
"I AM ICE CREAM CLONEPA!" he shouted with a voice like nerdy thunder, and he
started eating himself! Meanwhile, Grandpa was
busy complaining about contemporary
short novel writing
in pan-chromatic resonances and other highly ambient domains.
"Arf," he said.
Now you may be thinking that Grandpa had turned into a dog or some sort of sea lion. However, Arf is in fact Grandpa's assistant and old college buddy and he was meerly calling him over. Arf emerged from the shadows
and said "Arf."
Arf said to him "Grandpa, we'll never nominate for the Nobel prize with all this shitty writing & clonepa references. What shall we do?". Grandpa was hesitant to let his old buddy know his plans...
and therefore didn't. Meanwhile, a mere 200m away,
there was a peculiar incident taking place 200m back from where we originally came from.
The great sky loli was displeased about her sudden relative lack of importance to the story, and therefore hijacked
a dirigible. "We are going," she began dramatically, "to annex Poland!" And with that,
Poland was annexed. Meanwhile, at the Hall of Doom...
a single feather hovered, about a foot above a
place where mighty hero Tristan was standing captivated by the sight of a chest full of
loli's
which is what he called lollypops because he was emotionally childlike
and misused apostrophe's, enraging the nearby
Arf. "Arf," he growled, because he was enraged. Suddenly--
a large truck smashed through the wall! In a cloud of smoke and debris a silhouette appeared. It began walking towards them and emerged, revealing himself as none other than
a cloud of smoke and debris which had been mistaken for a person. To this, Tristan said "
By the power of
my local greengrocer's apple's, banana's and cherry's, that is the most cunningly disguised cloud I have ever seen!" He then looked into the truck driver's cabin, but found only the corpse of a man with a peculiarly-shaped
hat. Tristan took this as a summon from his mistress, the Great Sky Loli, and he and Arf promptly hijacked a dirigible. As they landed in the newly annexed Poland, they found
that Poland was annexed. And so George Bush CXXIX
awoke and realized that it was all a dream.
THE END
...NOT!
, as some people believe, the beginning.
EPILOGUE: Dying Flames of a Dokyun's Heart
The lonely figure stumbled through the ruins of the former Semi-Democratic Loli's Republic of Poland, on his face a look of resignation to the inevitable fate of mankind; that inescapable debt of mortality. A single tear rolled silently down his dirt streaked face. It was hard to believe that but a few hours earlier,
Beady Eyes had
died.
The subsequent lack of thread derailment caused a catastrophic
run in on-topic threads that
gave Master an urge to bait
the Great Sky Loli into an intimate business deal involving
Beady Eyes plush toys. "Kawaii~!" she squeaked.