I've been waiting.... (791)

1 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-03-08 06:46 ID:rBmL8F/W This thread was merged from the former /love/ board. You can view the archive here.

I'm usualy just a lurker around the board, but today i have a story... recently i been posting about long distance relationship because I really like this girl that lives in japan. but i live in australia so its really hard if i want to confess to her.. well this is how it all started...

Around 2005 April, i was picked on by some people at school because of my hobby, which is movie making. I'm really like a movie otaku, i love watching movies thats why my dream is to become a film director. most of the girls i knew, i told them about my hobby and they would all ne like "isn't that like really immature??" and later on wont ever talk to me.. it was around November when i was on a japanese pen pal website where i met the japanese girl, her name was Aya. we started emailing each other talking about school and life style ect. then i asked her if she used skype and she said she uses it so we added each other. we started talking in skype, (to those who doesn't know its like msn but you use microphone to talk). for the first time, i told her i'm into film making... she unlike the other girls was actualy intrested in it.. she asked me when can i show her my movie.

we talked almost everyday, mostly for 2 hours and we can always talk about anything like movies, anime, school, music ect.. then one night... we talked for 6 hours! i only had 2 hour sleep because i had to wake up for tennis lessons >"< we got more close after that. for christmas i bought her a bracelet and air mailed it to her, she liked it alot. one day i got her email but was really surprised... usualy at the end of the email she would just write "from Aya" but this time she wrote "Love from Aya". i had this feeling when i saw it. after that, i didn't hear from her for 2 weeks and then one night i got her email asking when can i talk to her... but after that... I've waited for a month and stil counting on... I emailed her before saying i have something to tell her because i planned to confess to her next time we talk.. but now i dont think i can do it because i reckon its highly likely i may get rejected since we are so far away _| ̄|○" the feeling with this girl is different from all the other girls i liked. should i confess or not??

101 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-09 16:03 ID:Heaven


102 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-09 20:51 ID:VRhMLPi6


103 Name: Jane : 2006-05-10 07:07 ID:DsnTGD7B

Ive been waiting, too

104 Name: RedMuppet : 2006-05-10 07:15 ID:BBkzIOOb

I definitely understand how hard it is when you've begun devoloping feelings for a friend like J. But the thing is, it sounds to me you two are on the same wavelengths. I think I'm with the rest of the guys and tell you to take hold of her!

105 Name: RedMuppet : 2006-05-10 07:27 ID:BBkzIOOb

Sorry, I mistyped this message (104) and meant for another thread. My apologies!

106 Name: RedMuppet : 2006-05-10 07:28 ID:BBkzIOOb

By the way Benson, 4 months is a REALLY long time... I'm not quite sure what's going on here. I just hope it works out in the end.

107 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-10 11:05 ID:Heaven

Maybe she found this board

108 Name: benson_2009 (電影男) : 2006-05-10 12:37 ID:Rcdhn9nh

well i'm a tad confused at the moment cos the feeling i had with the japanese girl was lost for a while, i'm just afraid i'm gonna wait for another 4 months or something... i'll be surprised if she found this board, prob got freaked lol.

>>98 lol i said the girl didn't show up cos of family business or something.. didn't go well with her cos she doesn't talk much so i didn't bother. I sent a normal email to the jap girl yesterday so hopefully it wont take long for her to reply. btw how do you sage a post??

109 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-10 13:07 ID:Heaven

write "sage" in the link box. it adds your post to the thread without bumping the thread back to the top of the page.

110 Name: benson_2009 (電影男) : 2006-05-11 07:33 ID:Heaven

ok cool!

111 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-05-22 18:07 ID:Heaven

I have no idea what's going on, but benson_2009, you're such a loser. Have phone sex with her already.

And when you meet her, go to a hotel and relieve your frustrations already. Read my other posts if u want advice.

112 Name: benson_2009 (電影男) : 2006-05-24 10:14 ID:mshMPbLa

sorry but i aint the kind of guy that just want sex, your in the wrong thread man

113 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-05-24 10:48 ID:Heaven


114 Name: 72 : 2006-05-28 12:04 ID:l60UE9wK

Yo, Eiga Otoko, any updates/emails from the Japanese girl? I am in Tokyo right now you should have me go tell her to email you. Ahahaha.

115 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-06-09 12:49 ID:efIVky9D

hahah she doesn't live in tokyo, she lives in hyogo i think. have fun in japan!

116 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-10 04:51 ID:ENi9ELXa

You never did take my advice and get that Steyr AUG, did you?

117 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-10 20:17 ID:l60UE9wK

You never did take my advice and chop off your penis, did you?

118 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-11 05:36 ID:hDLWN+nn

You never gave me that kind of advice.

Hey man, you can kiss my ass.

Benson is like a goddamned brother to me, man.

119 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-06-19 13:44 ID:yN/G39uI

hahaha i'll save up the money for it and you need a gun lincense to buy guns here. lol whats with the flaming?! well there wasn't much news about the jap girl so thats why i didn't come on much. at the moment i am thinking of emailing her to ask if she has any time to talk to me so i could maybe confess. even if its just a minute i really want to talk to her, i havn't got anything since the last email and been living my boring life like this waiting for something that i probably forgotten.

>>118 everyone here are like brothers to me, this has got to be one big event in my life to be honest, even though i dont know anyone here but you guys are the best! i love this message board.

120 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-19 18:39 ID:ZTlvbpE/

benson, as a your brah, i gotta say, you have patience. give the confession a shot, but i wouldnt expect a happy ending out of it (citing the lack of communication). but go ahead, she lives in japan, so i doubt it she would hunt you down with a stery aug for confessing.

121 Name: Chill-Anon : 2006-06-20 02:59 ID:uttoVbgg

Brother Benson, you are a very shy person, no?

122 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-06-20 13:09 ID:K9TfsBSd

hahaha yea i am a shy type person, i guess i'll give it another shot! wish me luck~!! thanks again!

123 Name: KIRA : 2006-06-21 19:21 ID:Sjsh7VtL

hiya, well im a n00b on this forum, but i was reading this topic, and its pretty interesting. but man, 4 months for a reply? something must be going on, unless like her comp blew up or never went online after that cuz thats a long time. Hope that u can have contact with this girl and able to get your confession out sometime soon. g/l man, i'll keep reading on about this =)

btw, what this penpal site u went to? im interested in talking to people arouund the world =)

124 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-06-24 02:36 ID:K9TfsBSd

hey everyone
i emailed the jap girl saying that i have something big i must tell her. i was thinking of showing the message board to her but i thought about it, would that scare the crap out of her?? to be honest i really dont know, i dont want to be obsesed with her and when i get shot down i'll prob go to mental mode going crazy and stuff. so right now, maybe she got scared of me but i didn't say anything to make it look like i like her or something. well i guess i can only WAIT again, seems like its always like that. lol everyone keeps saying i got alot of patience to wait 4 months xD

>>123 http://www.yorihuzi.net/1--8-1.html thats the website i met the jap girl.

125 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-24 21:48 ID:y/sK/8YS

what kind of a friend are you by still referring to her as 'the jap girl'? Do you even know 'jap' is offensive? Give her a name here, dammit. I'll leave the rest of your problem to the other guys here.

126 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-24 23:31 ID:Heaven

About as offensive as calling a british person a brit. Stop fagging up the thread with your stupid shit if you're not even going to help him. LOL IRONY

127 Name: Desperate otoko (no ko) : 2006-06-27 13:22 ID:r4v3x5rX

benson sounds like he's confusing a bit from Densha otoko into his own life... with the showing his JP girl this site and all...

128 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-06-27 14:35 ID:K9TfsBSd

>>125 hahahaha sorry i didn't know that, well her name is Aya.
yeah i know its similar in densha otoko when hermes finds out about the message board, but the reason why i want to show her the message board is to show how crazy i was waiting for 4 months. basicly my feelings about aya is all in here so if she read this she will know how i feel. i dont want to sounds weird or a looser but god i'm really confused atm, i thought that she might be scared of me but doesn't seem to be like that cos before i was waiting for 4 months, she asked "when can i talk to you?" on her email. it just doesn't make sense, maybe she really was so busy, i really dont know. i'm even more scared to confess now, maybe that would scare the creeps out of her.

to be honest, i havn't been this crazy about a girl, usualy i move on really easily but... for some reason, i can just keep waiting like this. she really is different from other girls i met and known. i really wish i can just hear her voice one more time... even if its for a minute. i know i really shouldn't be this crazy about a girl especially one that you cant even see and are miles away from you. maybe i really suck at these stuff, prob why i am still single. well i guess i just have to keep waiting... nothing else i can do really lol. i just hope i dont have to wait too long.

129 Name: Desperate otoko (no ko) : 2006-06-27 14:44 ID:r4v3x5rX

but you've only talked to her through internet right? Have you even meet once? If not, can you really say you really like her?

130 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-27 18:54 ID:rS52bVBZ

do you REALLY want her to read all those "stick it in her pooper"-like posts? I don't know if it'd be a good idea. I'm not sure how realistic Herme's reaction was in densha. goodness knows, she may not react so positively in the end.

131 Name: KIRA : 2006-06-27 19:01 ID:h4enrLtb

Itai!!!! ;D

anyways, i wouldnt show her this board, well at least not all the replies here. btw, are u ever able to see this girl? lets say u like each other, how r u going to ever see her? she lives like on the other side of the world, and long distance relationships are pretty hard to maintain.

but, if it will make u feel better, u should tell her, because its going to suck later if u dont and then have regret or like wonder about what would of happened if u ever did tell her. might as well get her reaction from her and dont have regret in the future. trust me, its the worst thing to have when u get older.

132 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-27 20:57 ID:6XFcmfN6

I think benson_2009 is trying too much to be like Densha Otoko. Why? He came from that thread, and clearly showed that he watched it. He tries to live a fairy tale by waiting 4 months from a girl in Japan when he lives in Australia. His heart seemingly fluttered when he got the word Love written in his email, and he doesn't understand the Japanese girls last message. 4 months without communication says 2 things: 1) You're not part of her life anymore, and 2) She has a boyfriend. By the way she responded, you can tell that she had something busy to do. Even for a Japanese girl, she should be able to get online if she was able to before. She gave you no clue on what she was doing, nor did she give you a clue on why she had to leave. You're obviously trying to get a GF because you chase two different girls, then when a girl likes you, you end up not liking her not because she was your family friend, but either 1) personality or 2) looks.

What I suggest is just act yourself. Stop trying to be and live something you aren't. I myself watched Densha Otoko, and it is in my opinion that you should do what he learned to do when he confessed: You live your life and move on.

Ja Ne.

133 Name: Demian : 2006-06-27 21:20 ID:y/sK/8YS

>>126 Various of my japanese friends found it offensive to be called japs. In my country its common knowledge that Jap is an insult, and used that way. Anyway, what bothered me is that he didn't have the manners to stop referring to her as sort of a third party.

If you want to flame, fine, but do it properly.

134 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-27 21:30 ID:L4uOc8aT


I agree. Benson, just move on with your life, stop thinking about the girl, and soon you'll realise that you only loved her based on your fantasy ideal image, not because of the person she actually is - a person you never got to meet or know in real life.

135 Name: Demian : 2006-06-27 21:57 ID:y/sK/8YS

Benson, I've been following this thread from the sidelines till now, but feel compelled to comment due to recent developments. In my opinion, it is a large mistake to show Aya this thread because it will send the wrong message.

When you are uncertain of something, there are two things you can do: 1) do nothing but hope for the best. 2) act and find out. Until now you've basically been at (1) and now you're trying to move to (2), but there are risks. This risk consists of the chance that she tells you in clear terms that she does not feel the way about you that you wanted her to. Other possibilities are that she clearly does like you a lot, or an unclear statement either way.

It is laudable that you want to act, and understandable that you waited a long time for this. After all you seem to sincerely like this girl and a rejection would definitely hurt you. However, the nature of her feelings towards you are already set. There is not much you can do to change these. All that matters is that you are clear about Aya's feelings for you.

So you want to elicit a response from her to get some clarity. At least you want to be sure that she doesn't break communications for 4 months yet again. Now you assume that when Aya reads this thread, she will understand how you think. I think she will understand that you are a dreamer. There's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't seem very appealing to a girl, I think (it's different than being in touch with your emotions, which they do dig). It also tells her that you are too lazy or scared to tell her in person (a letter in fact) that you enjoy her attention.

For that reason, and also that she might get suspicious that you set some of your posts up more as confessions than as contributions to the thread, I strongly recommend you not to show her this thread. Instead, I would in your case write to Aya that you enjoy her replies, and talking to her. It doesn't even have to be a letter with that theme, you could also write it as a side-note in some other correspondence as long as its clear you value her. This should not be harmful as long as it isn't done too cheesy. You could post a draft and we'll evaluate it for you.


136 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-06-28 17:11 ID:K9TfsBSd

after reading the posts, i understand what you mean. its true that i am a big dreamer since i often day dream alot. honestly i really think she might have got a bf after reading what >>132 said. i understand why people say i am trying to live like densha otoko and part of it is true, i really am a big dreamer cos during that 4 months of waiting, i would just day dream about meeting aya and confessing. i 100% agree with >>135, if i show her the thead it really thinks i set all this up for a confession.

i really would like to move on and i dont think it should be too hard but there will be things that remind me of Aya. i did write her a letter saying how i really enjoyed talking to her and that it felt like a dream since i havn't talk to her for so long. maybe i should just make Aya a really good memory, but the biggest problem is its hard for me to socialize with girls that i know here. most think i'm a weirdo since i dream too much, some wont even bother talking or even say hi. to be honest i'm sort of like a otaku, instead of talking to people now i just watch tv, movies and anime. not that i'm trying to be like densha but thats what i really do nower days, i was so sick of being ignored by people that i didn't talk to anyone for a long time and being posting on this thread. its hard to beleive but thats what life is for me.

thats why i said this thread has been a big part of my life since i dont really socialize with people now. i dont think i would confess to Aya anymore but remain good friends, which i think is the best since i can move on and stay in touch with her. well realyl depends if i ever get a reply anymore but thanks guys for those great advice! really appreciate the help.

137 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-06-28 19:46 ID:9HlwqNDT

>>132 and >>135

I think you saved benson's life.

138 Name: Demian : 2006-06-28 22:40 ID:y/sK/8YS

Benson, unfortunately I can relate very well how much of a problem it is to be a dreamer. I too, I am trapped in a fog of silly lazy dreams which hold me from making real accomplishments in my life. By reading manga, watching anime, listening to music - the like, I waste most of my day. The worst part is that I realize my problem everyday, am guilty of perpetrating it every new day.

Its really hard to break out of the cocoon of the dreamer. Its walls are thick and fluffy, cozy and warm. To break out of it, I need real a goal stronger than a dream. But what star can perpetrate these walls? And once I escape, its so tempting to return. I wish I could have the inner guidance to steer towards an honourable goal.

There are certain girls which I like, but I know they won't choose to be around me since I hardly accomplish anything of meaning. There is only one way to alter this situation, which is to do real work and not to let myself get dragged down in the quicksand of lamenes. But is it sufficient? I don't know. In a world where any goal can be disputed for its worth, what goal can be pursued without faltering? I must find a solution soon, for can no longer be a child, have to take up responsibility for my own life.

I can conceive of girls liking me for what I am. The girls I like are not among them and I feel I have nothing to say to them, nothing that won't make me look like a loser to them. So I don't. I sense there is no point to approach the girls I like because I am not the guy I want to be. That person should be with them, not me.

Anyway Benson, we've got to live in reality, whatever that is, as much as we can. However great our dreams are, it involves only one person, us. And loneliness just isn't fun.

ps. I owe you an apology, because in post nr 1 you did actually introduce Aya.

139 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-07-01 07:09 ID:K9TfsBSd

>>138 i think i know what you mean, i'm about the same. everytime i like a girl, it seems i had to hide about my innder dreamer side from them and when i do that i feel unconfortable since i'm not use to it. but one of the problem is i use to be able to talk to these girls and can chat alot, but now i just cant seem to have a nice normal chat with them anymore, just completly speechless. its always the same like "hi hows ur day?, not bad u? pretty good" something like that.

well the good thing is i moved aya from my life now, actually i did that a long time ago but there are just things that remind me of her. well all i can think of is probably wait to meet another girl in the future or something otherwise i'll be stuck in this thread xD i dont really trust most girls i know here cos most of them were just using me, that was mostly in the past. seriously are you suppose to be nice to a girl or just act cool?? i mean i'm nice to all the girls i talk to but it seems it makes me look soft but then if you act cool it just makes you look like an idiot. prehaps i should stop focusing on relationships and focus on something else, maybe that would do better, what do you guys think?

140 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-01 08:06 ID:rS52bVBZ

i think that's a good idea benson

141 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-07-06 12:24 ID:DSd3Hx24

Hey Benson!!

I'm sorry about I didnt email you for a long time..

hm.. I'd like to talk to you on 18th..Okay?? I'm exciting about listen your news!!haha

well I'll have history exams tomorrow..I hope I can do well on it..

see ya!


dw guys i aint gonna tell her about the message board, i just got so many things to tell her!! its been like 7 months since we talked. well hope it goes well! cant wait! i'm seriously over excited and i know i shouldn't

142 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-17 23:07 ID:5bNbblRy

Benson! The 18th is coming up! I hope all goes well!

143 Name: I/FAIL\IT!anzteOw4H6!!hD8noMhp : 2006-07-18 08:29 ID:PAgfTVs2

I just recently discovered 4-ch (through 4chan.org, oddly enough) and I finished reading this thread only moments ago. I am, however, drawn into your story. I've nothing to say that hasn't already been said, however I wish you the best of luck.

144 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-18 08:44 ID:Heaven

Please sage if you have nothing to say. Type "sage" in the link field when you post. It prevents the thread bumping back to the top of the page.


145 Name: Einhander!anzteOw4H6 : 2006-07-19 08:01 ID:PAgfTVs2

Benson, what happened? It's past the eighteenth. Any luck?

146 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-19 08:48 ID:Heaven

i'd like to know too !

147 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-07-21 15:28 ID:OU3+IMJM

haha i thought this thread died, well the 18th........ she never came on and i waited till 12 AM that night, was very disappointed but i emailed her saying if she has time i would like to talk to her again. but oh well, i really dont know what to do now cept wait again, however i been emailing with this girl latley but she... how to say... she looks like a kid!! shes nice, seem to get along really well but i think we're just good friends. lol to be honest i think i'm really bad when it comes to girls, i think the big problem is that i'm not ready and not serious enough to have a relationship at the moment, i just think theres something more i should do before going into those stuff, i'm not to sure. well with aya i just have to wait for her next reply, mayb in a monthi presume.... surprised this thread is still alive lol! thanks for the post and wish everyone the best!!

148 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-22 04:40 ID:/f0KvnI5

Benson, honestly it's not that hard for someone to reply to e-mails. The fact that it takes her a month to reply is not a good sign. Either she does not use the computer but once a month, or she is blowing you off like she did on the 18th every time you e-mail her. If it is the former, then she could not possibly know enough about internet subleties to form a viable feeling for you over the internet because it is not a big part of her life. If it is the second, then she obviously has no permanent feelings for you, and digs you up when she is lonely. Either way you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt. You cannot possibly woo her with chatting only once a month. I urge you not to spend your youthful years pining after the unatainable. You will find yourself an old man pining after his youth. Perhaps the best thing you could do now is buy that Steyr AUG that another secret admirer suggested earlier in this thread. In reality, it would have as much effect on your friendship/relationship with Aya as anything else you could do during the silent months. This may be better conveyed by a sports reference. The ball is in her court and she's not dribbling. I hope everything works out for you Benson, one way or another.

149 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-07-22 13:38 ID:OU3+IMJM

thanks for that, i'm not actuali like OBSESED with her or anything, well it does make sense if she has no permant feelings for me but that doesn't really matter. i realized that waiting here will just make me worse so i moved on a while ago, its hard to think the reasons why she email me once a month when we use to email each other like every 2 days or so. i dont know her very well since we never met and only talked a few times last year. lol maybe i'll just save up for that Steyr AUG xD well keep you guys posted if anything comes up!

150 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-07-29 06:40 ID:OU3+IMJM

hey guys!
your not gonna beleive it! i got Aya's mobile no.!! shes in hawaii at the moment for vacation and gonna stay there for 3 weeks. i told her i might visit her end of year cos i mite be going to japan for a holiday, she wrote "please call me if you come to japan!!" lol this email didn't take long, only took 2 weeks hahahaha xD

151 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-29 12:46 ID:3xU2EID8

yeah, must be the delays in getting the mail all the way from japan to australia.

152 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-30 07:02 ID:Heaven

fucking pony express are getting slower and slower.

153 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-02 11:19 ID:v1qcCebU

hey guys!
just got an package from a girl over seas, shes a family friend of mine. sent all these stationy stuff she made, has my name all over it LOL. anyway i just recieved an email from Aya in Hawaii, she says she wants to send me a letter. my week just keeps getting better and better ^^

154 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-10 13:13 ID:tXRtSl7F

hey everyone
i just recieved a postcard from aya, lol the front cover says "thinking of you in hawaii". nothing much written on it cept that its hot there and asked how i was and how everything is going here. she describes how hawaii is such a nice place and that if i ever get a chance to go i should go. well pretty happy about the post card xD

155 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2006-08-10 15:08 ID:gDEVaHfA

Your the Man Benson_2009!!!!! This girl loves you! This is amazing! An otaku like myself, who want's to become a director, like myself, is actually loved by an asian girl.(though the fact I'm also asian) HAHA!

156 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-10 17:05 ID:/KMP+L2x

Aw, what a great story :)

Keep us updated, Benson.
I think something might even happen from this :D

157 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-10 17:06 ID:Heaven

Forgot to mention that it has been 5 months already!
Amazing :)

158 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-11 13:33 ID:tXRtSl7F

hahaha thanks guys!! looks like there really is something going on here!! well i hope lol! i'll be sure to keep you guys updated! :)

>>157 5 months?! really?! i didn't even notice... wow!

159 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-11 19:24 ID:OfWtHTht

There will never come anything out of it. Get over her already and search for a better girl, one that doesn't play with you and that you can have an actual love relation with.

I know it sounds harsh, but that's the way it is.

160 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-11 21:14 ID:68dNsi6c

>>159 agreed

161 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-11 22:47 ID:ftaUl2Xe

I'm touched by your story, though I have no advice relevant to your situation to dispense. It seems to all have been said by now. I will support the "keep an open heart" advice though. However, I find the use of the term Jap offensive. Perhaps it's not considered so Down Under, I don't know. I'd just suggest being mindful of the words you use. I do have something to say about your career choice though...

Screw what people think! You're doing the best thing you can do if you want to make films. Make as many films as you can. It's the only way you'll get better: practice! Also please study how the media can manipulate the mind, it'll keep those delusions of granduer in check and is the first line of defense in preventing idiots from spreading their ignorant views. The film industry is a dirty business and hard to get into. Be prepared to be dirt poor for a long time, frustrated with job hunting, stepped all over by your superiors, and treated like a slave at first, maybe even for a while. Oh, and it's murder on relationships...except when you're not working.

Good luck with the girl though.

- A media student trying to jam his foot in the door to the wonderful world of entertainment

If you didn't say you were Asian, I might be really disturbed by your interest in Asians, seems like everyone here has some sort of Asian fetish...creepy. Please tell me this is not true. Like the girl for the girl, not just because she's Asian or whatever.

162 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-13 03:30 ID:tXRtSl7F

>>161 thanks for the advice, it was very hard for me to make films especially last year when alot of people was agaisnt it, but now i'm saying exactly what you said "screw what people think!" i mean its my future not thiers and they can think whatever they want. lol i know the film industry is a difficult one but i'm gonna try my best to get in it from bottom to top!

>>159 hmm its not really harsh, more like the truth. alot of people have said that shes just playing with me but i dont know why something just doesn't feel like that. well i'm gonna see whats going to happen, it isn't the best choice to decide to get over things now.

163 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-13 03:58 ID:D3t+OVMc

benson you are breaking my balls here. you are so in love with this girl, but is she in love with you? i have been reading your story since the beginning and its been the same cycle: you talk to her, she disappears, you think about moving on, she comes back and you talk to her. get out of this pointless self destructive cycle. nothing is going to change. it is male nature to want a girl who rejects, it is just the way we are built. just get over it. many people here, including myself, have been saying to move on, she isnt worth it. i dont want to sound like a broken record, but she isnt worth it, move on. this isnt densha otoko, this isnt a book or a movie, this is real life, this is your life, dont waste it, please.

164 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-13 10:12 ID:6w3uCmQ7

Okay, from what I've read, it sounds like you're the type of guy who jumps the gun alot.

Firstly, when a girl ends her letters in "luv aya", it does not imply anything serious. More likely, she feels acquainted with you and sees you as a friend. Please stop assuming that she is interested in you just because she sends you a couple of emails occasionally. I can tell you that if it takes her that long to reply to an email then obviously she has her own life. Her priority is not you. Ie: She is a smart girl who is simply looking for a friend in you.

Secondly, with no disrespect to anyone, I can hardly see how you can fall in love with some when there's a language barrier between you. I mean, from teh email that you posted here, it seems like the convos are really shallow, and essentially a bunch of light and polite conversation. No offence to her, but her english is too dodgy to draw any value from it. Perhaps the language barrier might've worked if you guys regularly conversed and met each other in real life, but as it stands I think you're decieving yourself if you're actually seeing sparks.

Thirdly, I really don't think you know anything about love. Or perhaps you are too young to. In the process of chasing "Aya", you also seem very open minded to other girls from overseas. I can tell you that relationships and feelings don't just start from an exchange of the occasional word on the internet. What's more, you constantly refer to "Aya" as "the jap girl". By labelling her like that shows me you don't really love her.

Lastly, you should just get on with life and meet girls that you can easily ACCESS. Maybe then you'll get a grasp to understand girls and I won't have to be reading cringing stories like this on the internet anymore. I can't believe noone has told you this. If you really are trying to imitate Densha Otako, this comes nothing close to it. At least in his situation the girl was within metres of him, not thousands of kilometres. Get back to reality.

165 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-14 01:06 ID:k4lJ6lVW

>>162 but i dont know why something just doesn't feel like that
It /never/ feels like that. I learned this the hard way. Please don't make the mistake I did.


166 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-14 23:34 ID:z1E7ECcQ

I am Australian too. I talked to a girl on msn for almost a year and I thought I really loved her, but her suicidial tendencies and the fact that she was bisexual meant that I regretted ever wasting that much time telling her not to kill herself.

And, yeah, go with the Steyr AUG. Chicks dig them.

167 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-14 23:37 ID:z1E7ECcQ

And no, Jap is not really that acceptable, even in Australia. The japanese make up a huge chunk of Australia. And I am fucking glad that that do.

168 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 03:38 ID:ol4G4Ys3

STFU, I know for a FACT that love can remove a girl's suicidality.
Bis rule dude, I have a lot of bi friends and its awesome knowing girls as perved as you.

169 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 06:00 ID:ftaUl2Xe

What the hell is the big deal about this Steyr AUG? It's just a freakin' gun, jeez. ¬_¬ If a guy needs a gun to be secure in his masculinity, then he's got bigger problems than finding women.

170 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 06:13 ID:D3t+OVMc

i dare you to say that when he has a steyr aug in your face.

171 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 09:10 ID:Heaven

what are you smoking? there's hardly any japanese in australia, relatively speaking. lots of chinese and vietnamese around, though.

172 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 12:16 ID:6w3uCmQ7

you obviously don't live in australia, or you assume every black haired person is japanese. fail either way.

173 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-15 13:35 ID:Ys5uUH/j

ok guys lay out the flaming lol
what i dont understand is that alot of people are urging me to get this Steyr AUG gun, is it really that attractive to get a gun?!!

yea its true, hardly any japanese here in australia, mostly chinese like from hong kong or taiwan like my self. about why i called aya "Jap girl" was becasue i didn't know what to call her and didn't thought of saying her real name, i had no idea it was offensive since people in australia here talk so slang most of the time...if i knew i would never had said it so thats why i call her by her real name.

to be honest i am very confused right now, its true i know nothing about love because i never been in love before. reason why i like aya so much was last year was like hell for me, like i said in my first post i was basicly bullied by these group of people. for about a whole year, all i knew was hatred and darkness, i almost gave up. intill the day i met aya, it was a feeling i havn't felt for ages, i was happy, like really happy especially when we talked on skype. for the first time a girl wanted to talk to me i was like "wooww" but thats prob nothing... so basicly, aya saved me from the hard times. i know its hard to beleive but i tried several times to move on but i'm just not attracted to other girls here...the only way i think i can move on is if i get rejected, like most of you guys said, she might be just playing or only think of me as a friend. i can never forget that feeling from last year, maybe thats why i cant move on. i didn't realize till now that this is the first time i'm in love with someone, I'm actuali a type of person who doesn't like to say "i love someone" for some reason, usualy i say "i like someone".

i cant seem to get along with girls here prob becasue they think i'm a kind of looser since i love watching anime, movies and playing games. girls here like those hardcore asian types who love to show off with thier cool hair style or whatever.

anyway just wanted to tell you guys why i'm in love with aya. most of you guys think its prob the most stupidist thing to fall for someone on the net who you never met before. >>164 is really right, i know nothing about love since this is really the first time. like i said in another post, i am pretty anti social even on msn nower days. to be honest this is the closest relation i have with a girl, never talk to a girl on a mic for 6 hours... never sent a gift to a girl before either and aya is the first girl i sent too.. maybe i live in the dreamworld too much, too much of a dreamer. like most people say "reality kills ya!"

174 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 16:39 ID:m4YHE6jz

lol Steyr AUG, it's just an inside joke here on /love/. Sorry to break the trolling of other Anonymous, but I don't wanna see you spend money because of a meme

175 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-15 16:42 ID:ftaUl2Xe

They're just fucking with you about the gun. Don't take them seriously, and here in the US, everyone thinks you're Chinese, or if they have some sort of intelligence, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and sometimes Filipino.

I know it's hard to move on. I jump from crush to crush, and the only way I move on is if I meet another girl. Then the vicious cycle repeats. You will meet someone else sooner or later, but remember to keep an open heart, or you could pass up a great opportunity.

176 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 06:09 ID:LzD1U2Fu

I love someone I've never met, I believe in it 5000%
I hope she really loves you man, otaku gotta stick together

177 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 06:52 ID:c3PcXB+n


Steyr AUG is not a meme....I own one and it grants me all kinds of awesome. Don't listen to the heathens, you are probably one of the few decent people on this bullshit forum.

Seriously, get one.

178 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 07:26 ID:k4lJ6lVW

Worst advice ever given on this board ever. Never, NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER date a girl with more problems with you. Seriously, if this chick is fucked up she is just going to drag you into it and it'll be a big fucking waste of your time. Doesn't matter how "nice she is", doesn't matter how much you love her, drop it like a hot fucking potato.

Keep in mind that a lot of girls (particularly the crazy ones) pretend to be/say they are bisexual to either get attention or cope with some kind of emotional problem. If a girl says she's bisexual, ESPECIALLY if she's upfront about it (i.e., mentions it out of the blue as a means of gaining attention), get the fuck away from her, as far as romantic relationships go. Also, this has about a ninety-nine percent correlation rate: all bisexual girls, real or pretend, are batshit insane. This is a FACT.

tl;dr: Never date a girl with more problems than you.

179 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 07:27 ID:k4lJ6lVW




180 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 07:27 ID:k4lJ6lVW

Seriously just STAY AWAY.

181 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 07:28 ID:k4lJ6lVW

182 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 07:34 ID:/9AlpCKF

As a bisexual girl, I resent your statement about bisexual girls being batshit insane. :-p
Though it is indeed true that if someone's using his/her sexuality (whatever it may be, hetero-, homo-, bi-, pan-, etc) as a way to attention whore, one needs to avoid getting into a relationship with the person.

183 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 07:53 ID:z1E7ECcQ


Ok, huge chunk was an exaggeration, but I happen to know a lot of Japanese people. And yes, I can tell the difference between asians. There are enough Japanese in Australia. Especially where I live. I suppose the fact that most store signs near me are in both English and Japanese (And yes I can tell the difference between Japanese and Chinese, that isn't it) means that there are no Japanese people? But what exactly are you arguing, that it is therefore acceptable to call them Japs? There are plenty of Japanese people in Australia, there are more Chinese and other asian people, but there are still a lot of Japanese immigrants.

184 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-16 08:29 ID:Ys5uUH/j

>>183 i think its just some australian slang to call japanese "Japs", i live in melbourne and havn't even seen one japanese person here, i know sydney as a few.

ahh looks like my first ever experience is with a long distance and i heard they dont long last.

>>178 you know i met a girl whos a family friend almost dragged me along with her problems. every single problem even a small one she would just come straight to me. i reckon what you say is true...not to be tite or anything but it was pretty annoying cos my phone kept beeping every 5 seconds and my inbox was full cos of this girl.. so scary

lol i'm not gonna buy a rifle, dont even have a gun license and to be honest i stil dont see how a rifle can get you anywhere. funny thing! lol

anway i dont know what to do, maybe just wait as usual for something to happen. prob wont get into relationships intill i graduate cos getting a pretty busy year next year so i should be working hard lol, but thanks for the great advice everyone! wish you all the best!

185 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-16 20:29 ID:ftaUl2Xe

Everyone of our generation is fucked up. Everyone has some sort of issue with something. I wouldn't write her off right away because of that, but I would proceed with caution.

Slang, so I suppose they also refer to all their other minorities by derogatory slurs, hmm?

186 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-17 06:35 ID:OEX/IOcR

She's not, fucked up surroundings would give almost anyone low self esteem. She used to be, but isn't anymore.
BTW, she's not bi, I just know a few. ONE of them...yeah...compulsive liar, upfront, etc

187 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-17 11:05 ID:nNB2iArO

Benson. Aya is out of your reach, but there are other girls like her who are more accessible to you, it wouldn't be fair to yourself to emotionally attach yourself to something you cannot get. Be friends, but I think you should keep your romantical life open to realistic oppertunities. You seem like a good person, and I think a relationship with a decent girl would do you well, so it's definately something you should work for.

Also, looking where you haven't looked before might be a good idea, for while finding someone who is a lot like yourself with interests and everything might seem like fun and good idea to begin with, having someone who can complement yourself and bring new strenghts into your life is actually better. The most important thing is that you love eachother and can hold passion for eachother, similar interests is only a must for this for people who put their minds under matter. If you don't do that you can appriciate people much more, and will be less inclined to tire of them.

In either case I wish you good luck with your lovelife and life at large.

188 Name: LonnDragon : 2006-08-17 13:20 ID:Xw7QPBqg

Benson I hate to ay it but it sounds like Aya is very casual about you and is in no way serious about you at all. I really wish I could be one of the Densha style cheerleaders but in this case it’s just not in the cards.

I think your best/safest bet at this point is confession and see where that leads. In your next conversation on Skype or MSN just tell her you have something to say to her and say it. If she has mutual feelings she will let you know. If she has a Boyfriend she will tell you. If you have been Friend zoned then she will tell you that too. After that you can move on with your life one way or the other.

189 Name: LonnDragon : 2006-08-17 13:20 ID:Xw7QPBqg

Benson I hate to ay it but it sounds like Aya is very casual about you and is in no way serious about you at all. I really wish I could be one of the Densha style cheerleaders but in this case it’s just not in the cards.

I think your best/safest bet at this point is confession and see where that leads. In your next conversation on Skype or MSN just tell her you have something to say to her and say it. If she has mutual feelings she will let you know. If she has a Boyfriend she will tell you. If you have been Friend zoned then she will tell you that too. After that you can move on with your life one way or the other.

190 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-17 13:24 ID:2jn0At37

Okay, I think there was a misinterpretation on both parts. The 'offensive' part of saying "the jap girl" is not so much the "jap" bit, but the fact that she was labelled. Like, use her name for respect? I absolutely have no qualms about using jap, cos it's not a racial slur in any way (if you think otherwise, please give some reason). Which is probably why I interpreted >>167's "jap" comment as japs aren't welcome in australia. As in, mixed relationships are not accepted or something. Thus you would understand my wtf attitude. For the record though, I don't know whereabouts you live, but overall the proportion of japanese people in australia is very small.

Anyhow, point is; if you really like someone, you would use their name for goodness sake.

191 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-17 14:18 ID:Ys5uUH/j

>>189 i think your suggestion is best, if i do confess next time we talk i would 100% know if shes being serious or just playing around. i shutted my self from my social life for a while latley, only cos of work. its true thats shes out of my reach, i mean we live so far away so there really is not a slight chance. but what if, next time i do confess and it turns out that she liked me as well, what do i do next?? i mean will she be my first gf or are we still just friends??

its weird to say this but, its kinda lonley sometimes... when theres no one to talk to. even in my family, my parents travel often so not at home much and my older brother goes out frequently and we dont really talk much. my daily life is either on the computer, playing games, watching anime or movies and school work. i mean most girls who know me prob think i'm this big looser, i tried to change once but it just didn't work out cos i dont feel like my self, its like i'm hiding my real personality. to be honest i use to be on msn 24/7 talking to people but now i hardly go online or talk to people.

i could already tell that me and Aya prob wont really work since she keeps disappearing...i really wish we lived in the same area, if we did that might have worked.
>>187 she did bring new stregth into my life, if i didn't meet her last year i would have stopped filming, prob gave up since these group of people were picking on me. she actuali gave me courage to stand up agaisnt those people and to keep filming, like i said i never met anyone like her, and like i said in my previous post, i was really happy when i talked to her and last year all i saw was just darkness. you know its funny, i said that i didn't want a gf and here i am hoping to get one. i actuali been rejected 6 times already......thats why i'm stil single and in this thread lol. anyway i think Aya is going back to japan near the end of this month, possible that i could talk to her and finaly confess, see what her answer is.... if yes, i would be extremly happy and see if we could work something out. if no, i would move on knowing that i got rejected again and having the first time to confess on the phone (i use to do it on msn cos too nervous to say it, i guess thats why i got rejected lol). you guys think thats a better idea??

192 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-17 16:28 ID:ftaUl2Xe

If you feel you really must, don't "confess," just tell her. You'll scare her away for sure with a confession, but if you're cool about it, I guess there's nothing wrong with it. However, I feel she's not serious about this and would've seen that red flag right away.

>she did bring new stregth into my life, if i didn't meet her last year i would have stopped filming, prob gave up since these group of people were picking on me. she actuali gave me courage to stand up agaisnt those people and to keep filming

Then her job is done. There are three kinds of people you'll meet in your life: those that are there for a lifetime, those that are there for a part of it, and those that are there only for a moment. The things we learn about ourselves through them lasts forever though.

The term Jap was used as a derogatory term for the Japanese during World War II. It's like calling a Chinese chink or a Korean gook. I doubt you are referring to Jewish American Princess since you're Australian and that's an American term.

193 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-17 19:26 ID:D3t+OVMc

>Jewish American Princess

I have never heard that before.

Benson, go ahead and confess, I doubt it would make a difference. You just gotta get out and enjoy life. Join a club, just go out and meet people.

194 Name: Otaku Hikki : 2006-08-18 09:01 ID:Heaven

Hey Benson, your local fellow man from Australia. I have nothing to add to this thread that had not been said already.

But on a curious note, how old are you and which suburb do you live in Melbourne?

Today is Friday, and I find myself sitting on my ass in front of my computer as usual and thinking of what to do. It's nothing special today but I'm responding to this thread anyway, usually I'm just a lurker and can't think anything to reply to most threads in this bbs.

Do you have friends and do you go out?

195 Name: Otaku Hikki : 2006-08-18 09:03 ID:cYr5ss8q

I didn't meant to sage this thread. That is a typo.

196 Name: 187 : 2006-08-18 10:12 ID:nNB2iArO


True, I was being all practical and shit but nevermind that, go get shot down, or conquer her heart! Love is worth a risk, blood, sweat and tears.

I'm just realizing that if something is to come out of this, it will take a lot of work. But what worthwhile doesn't ey?

197 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-08-18 13:47 ID:2jn0At37

Okay, you might be right. But it's still really absurd to think that "jap" would be an offensive term. I mean, at least with "chink" and "gook", there are negative connotations. Compared to them, "jap" is a really plausible shorthand. I dunno, perhaps it was offensive like 50yrs ago or so, but in today's society it's rather accepted and definitely isn't used in a derogatory sense. Much like how we use "phillo", "viet", "malay", "indo" and even "aussie".

198 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-19 12:27 ID:Ys5uUH/j

>>194 um.. i dont go out much, only go out to watch a movie or something occasionaly with a friend. i go out more on holidays with 4-5 friends and we go to the movies or around the city.

lol my age, i'm 16 turning 17 in a month. hmm i live around doncaster, lol how old did you think i was??

199 Name: Otaku Hikki : 2006-08-20 10:57 ID:cYr5ss8q

Guess that I'm correct you are around that age. :)

Nah just curious.

Doncaster is not far lol. There are lot of Chinese living there, it is well off place, people got money there :)

But I prefer Box Hill, thats where I wonder around sometimes, in the arcades, but I don't live there though.

200 Name: benson_2009 : 2006-08-20 12:33 ID:Ys5uUH/j

lol box hill is like hardcore asian areas, my school is near box hill, its like a 15 min tram to get there.

anyway i've been thinking for a while, theres this other girl i'm intrested which is a family friend of mine. we talk alot on msn but shes in taiwan. she sent me this package 3 weeks ago with these stickers thats got my name on it and stuff. i just bought her a bracelet with her name as a thank you gift which i'm sending it tomorow. we get along well and she helped me with some situation and i help her alot on her english lol, prehaps i should get over aya and focus on her?? i mean at least i get to see her once a year cos i go back during the holidays and we talk alot, unlike aya who just randomly disappear. so what you guys think?? oh btw her name is KIM (its not reallly her english name but apparently thats what her english teacher calls her lol)

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