I'm usualy just a lurker around the board, but today i have a story... recently i been posting about long distance relationship because I really like this girl that lives in japan. but i live in australia so its really hard if i want to confess to her.. well this is how it all started...
Around 2005 April, i was picked on by some people at school because of my hobby, which is movie making. I'm really like a movie otaku, i love watching movies thats why my dream is to become a film director. most of the girls i knew, i told them about my hobby and they would all ne like "isn't that like really immature??" and later on wont ever talk to me.. it was around November when i was on a japanese pen pal website where i met the japanese girl, her name was Aya. we started emailing each other talking about school and life style ect. then i asked her if she used skype and she said she uses it so we added each other. we started talking in skype, (to those who doesn't know its like msn but you use microphone to talk). for the first time, i told her i'm into film making... she unlike the other girls was actualy intrested in it.. she asked me when can i show her my movie.
we talked almost everyday, mostly for 2 hours and we can always talk about anything like movies, anime, school, music ect.. then one night... we talked for 6 hours! i only had 2 hour sleep because i had to wake up for tennis lessons >"< we got more close after that. for christmas i bought her a bracelet and air mailed it to her, she liked it alot. one day i got her email but was really surprised... usualy at the end of the email she would just write "from Aya" but this time she wrote "Love from Aya". i had this feeling when i saw it. after that, i didn't hear from her for 2 weeks and then one night i got her email asking when can i talk to her... but after that... I've waited for a month and stil counting on... I emailed her before saying i have something to tell her because i planned to confess to her next time we talk.. but now i dont think i can do it because i reckon its highly likely i may get rejected since we are so far away ＿|￣|○" the feeling with this girl is different from all the other girls i liked. should i confess or not??
>>539 well i was planning if i do go back to australia, i'll stop on the girl chasing things and concentrate on my studies since its my last year of high school, get good grades and get into a good university. like you said which i reckon is a great idea.
if i do move back, i dont think i'll have time to go on msn and talk to anyone since the studies here is really strict and most students dont have much free time. they only sometimes go out on the weekends as a group of friends which i reckon is pretty good. i'll be able to meet new friends and stuff.
well i'm stil thinking carefully whether i'm going to stay in Taiwan or not.
>>538 hahaha i wont say that, i know if bad things happen the good things will happen, like you say shit happens anyway and we gotta live with it.
long time no see everyone
quiet alot of things happened when i came back to australia...
so far i completly have no contact with lyss now cos we had this little fight which is complicated, basicly i asked her to the formal but got rejected and all these weird stuff happened in between. i've met quiet alot of people in class that i attend now, so far nothing intresting is really going on, also i recently moved house and the worst thing is... my house is right next to lyss, i was exctied at the begining but now its so akward. anyway i'll report back if something DOES happen,
also my close friend is trying to make me look good or something, shes took me to a stylist for my hair cut and is telling me to exercise alot so i can loose weight etc, prehaps something may happen in a month or two xD
well, i see that you're progressing further than any of us have. my best wishes [[;
>also my close friend is trying to make me look good or something, shes took me to a stylist for my hair cut and is telling me to exercise alot so i can loose weight etc, prehaps something may happen in a month or two xD
Finally. A girl you can listen to.
Well if you have someone that you like... wouldn't it be natural to confess. Well anyways I think there are lots of opportunities in the future even if you don't get any girl right now. But I hope that your love life will turn out well. Fighting!
whats funny was i asked lyss to the formal as good friends but she said shes afraid i'm gonnna like her again and she doesn't wanna encourage it. then my friend went up to her and called her a coward and she think it was me which started the fight. well we havn't talked at all now, her friend said to give her time.
at the moment, theres this girl in my tution class that i went out with the other day for lunch, first time i talk to her and we seem to get along pretty well. shes seems like a nice girl and i havn't talk to her on msn yet since been busy latley. i think i'll just find my chance to talk to her in class then.
i've come to the end where i have no social life, i seem to have gone back to my old life before i met aya, lyss or manda. i try to talk to people but they seem to ignore me or see me as some not normal person, i just say "hey hows your week?" and they say "eh....ok...", i really dont know what to do now and loosing more confidence then ever, i really want to give up＿|￣|○
latley i'm getting really anti social, dont really talk to people or socialize even if i did i just get ignored. what is going on!!
>>548
you hadn't noticed that everyone always answer "eh... ok" when you ask how their day/week/etc was? it's a generic answer, because it's a generic question.
I wouldn't give up on meeting people. The very fact that you've been and still are close to several people is testament to the fact that you're successful at talking with people and holding a friendship with the potential of a relationship.
It seems like right now, though, you don't have a clear goal, so this thread is becoming a form of blog of your daily life, as all these different people seem to keep coming and going. Sooner or later, you're going to have to choose someone and significantly try with that person, even if you get turned down initially, rather than just continually bouncing from person to person, with people you've been with before, or are looking at now as next-in-line.
i think the problem i had was i kept bouncing around, so far the only girl i'm socializing with is a close friend of mine who we talk on the phone every day. it seems to be a habbit since i didn't call her for 3 days and she wondered what happened to me. at the moment i kind of like her but i'm not too sure my self, she seems nice and all but i dont think she will like me.
Well, if you're talking on the phone every day, and you both seem to like each other, then just ask "Hey, do you want to catch dinner tomorrow? My treat?"... Perfect way to start getting more serious if another relationship's what you're really after right now...
>>552 i'll give it a try, its easy for me to ask her out at the moment.
*help! i got the date but i'm not sure where to go, any suggestions?!
umm, take her somewhere you would like to go with her
Depends on how well you know her; If you are fairly casual in your relationship, a little diner or cafe or something similar would probably be nice... If you're not that well-off as far as being close with her yet, try a larger, more expensive restaurant...
Either way, you can bring up why you chose the place with a phrase similar to: "I always wanted to try this place, and I thought you'd be the perfect person to invite!"
well we are very close since we talk everyday on the phone, she tells me stuff she dont normaly tell people. i was thinking of taking her to a nice italian restraunt for dinner, would that be good?
I for one, am sick of this thread.
I was vaguely interested in your internet love interest, and I could deal with your issues with Liz. But freaking hell, your little issues never seem to end. Without fail you seem to conjure up some new trivial problem about a girl every couple of months.
You would think that by now you would have either gotten past the "I'mma so desperate for a girlfriend" stage, or you would have improvised with the endless stream of advice that you've gotten from here (which all say the same thing anyway).
Are you so socially inept that you have to discuss every single girl that crosses your path and turn them into an opportunity??
Seriously dude, your life sounds like it revolves around getting your first girlfriend. Well here's a protip buddy: If you cared a little less, then you would probably pull in a couple of decent chicks. But as it stands, you think WAY TOO MUCH about it, and therefore you project yourself as a desperate guy, driving away all the girls.
>>558 i know i may sound desprate on this thread, and it is true that i seem to have problems with every single girl i meet. i have a problem with girls is because i dont socialise enough with girls to understand them, sure i had a few close friends last year like lyss and manda but that was about it. i look desprate becasue i dont even have friends that are girls, the only girl i talk to now is the one i'm taking to dinner this week. if you really must know, i use to be a hikkikimori and a very antisocial person. last year was the only time i started socialising with girls so thats why i kept asking questions about them because i dont know what to do. unlike a friend of mine at school who actuali is desprate because he would plan things to get peoples attention. he tried to pick up lyss last year but i stuffed up all his plans. with lyss and manda, i just naturaly got close to them because they found me as a good friend and someone they could trust but not someone to be a boyfriend. i never had a single girl that likes me because people in the past found me weird as i dont talk much. right now i'm not even trying or doing anything with this girl, shes the one who calls me every night and talk about these things that happen in her life.
right now i have bigger issues and problems then with girls at the moment, so if you think i'm those people who ONLY think about how to get a frecken girlfriend every minute, then sorry you mistaken the wrong guy. i for one aint like those faggot players who has like what...4 girlfriends at a time and acting all trihard like they are some sort of gangstars.
Sigh... Again...
You did not "used to be a hikkikimori"... You were shy, and antisocial, but the fact that you had any friends, and left your home for more than food & water makes you definitively not a hikkikomori... Please, everyone, yourself included, stop using that word to describe yourself being shy with girls, or just emo in general... That's not what it means, and it's just embarrassing even to we readers, to hear people describe themselves that way...
Anyway... You should, by this point, after going through about 3 or 4 girls here, be able to competently handle this... Of course Italian or any place would be fine; And I think already, several suggestions have been made about places to go, as well as sort-of pickup lines to use while having dinner...
You need to take that advice & go with it! Now get out there & take her to a dinner, and try to get to know her even better!
>i dont socialise enough with girls to understand them
show me a man that does understands women, and i will show you a fool
>>560 i guess ur right, its just people these days use the word "emo" and "hikkikimoro" alot to describe us antisocial shy people .___.
anyway i got good news, last night me and lyss are back to normal, we're back to good friends again. i dont think i wanna question her anything incase she gets pissed about it.
i'll have to read some old posts, i remember there was one desribing everything you should do in a dinner. thanks everyone!
>right now i have bigger issues and problems then with girls at the moment..
It certainly doesn't sound like it from way you even bother to maintain this thread.
>>so if you think i'm those people who ONLY think about how to get a frecken girlfriend every minute, then sorry you mistaken the wrong guy. i for one aint like those faggot players who has like what...4 girlfriends at a time and acting all trihard like they are some sort of gangstars.
Well, if you're desperate it doesn't mean you're a "trihard gangstar". And you most certainly wouldn't have 4 girlfriends at a time. I think anyone would have worked that out by reading your first post.
>>i seem to have problems with every single girl i meet. i have a problem with girls is because i dont socialise enough with girls to understand them..
To reiterate, you are way too young to be so desperate. Don't try to understand the other sex at your age.
Besides, it's not as if you listen and carry out our advice anyway. You always end up doing something different, because you had already predetermined what you were going to do anyway. I recall telling you that Lyss was your typical asian ditz. Any effort would be wasted on her. Did you listen? No. Instead you went after her like there was no tomorrow. What happened? She was playing with you and had some other guy up her sleeve. You got hurt. But it's okay, because you had a rebound called Manda. Hey, as long as you got one of them right?...and so the tragic story continues..
>>563 Lyss wasn't playing with me, i was just not her type and my friend is working on that at the moment, shes that girl who took me to get my hair cut and is making me exercise to loose weight etc. me and lyss are still good/close friends right now and i'm happy with that at the moment, i dont know why but i just want her to be happy.
I'm techinicly in my last year of high school and we have massive stress from test and homework so thats why i said i got bigger issues then finding a girl friend.
i admit, i didn't really listen to the advice about lyss cos you guys kept thinking she was playing on me but she wasn't, she just happens to be really nice to her friends and since we were close she helped me alot when i was in a mentally unstable time last year. manda was also like that and i thought you guys told me to give up on lyss and find someone new and at that time i met manda. Lyss and Manda are the only two girls who understands me and are really ncie to me not to mention changed my life last year. apparently i'm the only guy lyss is close to and at the moment, we're back to normal after a long fight that i managed to fix =D
>>I'm techinicly in my last year of high school and we have massive stress from test and homework so thats why i said i got bigger issues then finding a girl friend.
Interesting, I'm in my last year too. Well, seeing as you're probably the same age as me, I'll stop nagging about how young you are. It's your life, I'll stop being such a bitch. Right now I don't really have time to be checking posting here let alone be in a relationship (rejected a friend a few weeks ago partly because of this), so in that respect I can sort of relate.
Also, being asian, I know the way a lot (not all) of asian girls work. They have guys eating out of their hand whenever they please. It's so unhealthy to watch. When you described Lyss and posted her convos on here, she fitted that stereotype. But I do admit that I don't know her in person, so whatever. If you think differently, then that's your judgment. I suppose it is better to have her as a friend because if you had a ditzy asian girl as an enemy, you would have a lot of trouble.
Anyway, remember your priorities. Peace.
Aw, come on guys. You're being too harsh on him. He's just like me in the future!
Come on, bud. Teenage years are kinda bummer.
I myself already have enough trouble just talking to strangers. But it's gonna be all right. It's just who I am. 8)
Chill, bud. Whatever happens, happens.
well my date with the girl last night was pretty successfull. we met and took a train to the restraunt, i took some old adivce from previous a previous poster about dinner, it went ver well as we talked and ate. after dinner, we took the train to the city and took sticker photos and had a drink. we talked alot when we went for a drink. well shes going over seas for the holidays but i dont think we can be together and stuff since shes not really my type and she does have a guy she like, we only like brother and sisters -____-
>>565 i know what you mean how lyss fits to that sterotype of girls, cos i know some girls that are like that in the past which tricked me. for an asian, you should know we dont really get along with our parents..... thats prob why i told lyss those personal stuff cos she helped me alot in the past. as i'm typing this post my dad is yelling at me in the background but i cant be fucked listning anymore.
hey everyone
i have decided to end this thread because after a long long think i have finally decided to settle down and just be with lyss, why?! after a long thought i figured out why i couldn;t get over lyss, because i really love her and i have been rejected a few times by her last year. she also managed to bring me out of my shell and change my life not to mention she is the first girl i met managed to do that. so i have decided just go in the natural flow, me and lyss are even closer then before. i know its prob a really stupid idea but thats how serious i am with lyss, if i wasn't i'll prob be like poping a boner and going for another girl. which i dont want to do that anymore cos its just gonna make me look like a player. i'll just wait....just like what i did with Aya cept this time its different. I'm sure i know what to do now so i just wanna thank EVERYONE who posted in this thread even the flamers lol. i'll be lurking around 4ch from now on xD Good luck to everyone and thanks for everything :) really appreciated all your advice on this thread =D
>>568
Woah, dude.
You are actually doing THE RIGHT THING this time.
Whatever man, good luck. I need some too 8)
i'm amused that you bumped the thread to say that, but good for you!
uh seems like i'm in a trouble atm....
i have a school formal in about 3 months but atm i cant find anyone... i seriously have Noo one to ask = / it'll look sad if i go by my self. lyss alrdy rejected and we're kinda in um.... a time out atm, this other girl i was gonna ask is taken alrdy. i really dont know if i should go now .___.
>>571
Bring your sister.
Excuse me whilst I pop my boner over that image.
>>572 i dont have a sister .___. and no i aint gonna bring my mum either
i thought you were ending this
retards actually mean continue when they say end
>>576
i lol'd.
tis true.
i wouldn't have come back if i didn't have trouble. i'm rather having alot of troubles atm especially with lyss which has been happening for about 2-3 weeks now. none of my friends are able to help me either so thats why i came back to this board otherwise i wouldn't even touch it.
>>580 what are you on about? you've been doing that in most threads
what did 580 say?
580 wrote "lame lame" in almost every thread
>>578 a bit late to say this but... what r u troubling?
>>584
Well, in the case of this thread, it was legit.
need to contact her again i think ^^;
currently i'm doing quite good with this girl who i met a month ago, we talk on the phone everyday and see each other at least 2 times a week, which is mainly at my house lol. but shes a girl whos use to being around a bunch of guys since half of her classes are in a boy school. but she tells me stuff that others dont know about even her friend who shes close to, we get along really well. the problem atm is that shes still has some feelings for her ex bf whos over seas, is there something i can do for her to make her move on? i've done quite a alot for her like i came to see her at midnight when she was really sick, been there when she needed someone to talk to and cheered her up when she was crying.
like my male friend did from me.. and i felt very confused about my feeling now T^T
well.. that was a good job ^^ just need a time to show her that you love her..
but.. what about the japanese girl who you talk to us from the first time?
電車男．．．
This reminds me of that show.
>>591 haha the japanaese girl has once again disappeared, that was back from last year.
I read this WHOLE thread last night (over an hour of reading), and although at the beginning your intentions were good, you just started to come here and ask the dumbest questions. Honestly, make a move or not, don't wait for a week.
The only reason you are loosing girls is because you get beat by other guys. MAKE THE FASTEST MOVE.
There's a song by a band called Blue october where he sings a few good tips on how to get a girl.
"One, you gotta take it kinda slowly.
Two, you gotta hurry up and make your move.
Three, you gotta tell her that she's pretty!
And four, you gotta be the perfect gentleman.
When you shake the wall, you gotta make it bend.
You gotta show her that
She's the balance beam
and I keep falling all around her fairy tale." <- I suggest you listen to blue october =) he has a huge variety in songs.
OMFG....THAT GIRL IS THE BIGGEST BITCH I KNOW.... i cant say its entirely her fault but i'm being the biggest fucktard in the world by buying her a camera for her bday and organizing it for her... like i said before i've done alot for her and been really nice cos apparently shes into the really nice guys or sweet guys. shes been leading me on like flirting around with me and she let me hold her hand in the movies -___- and she doesn't even treat me like a fking friend. shes the tpye of girl who uses people without realizing it so shes the really innocent type. basicly i had a fight with her last friday before her bday party because she told me she doesn't care if i go or not cos shes gonna ignore me at the party and by the way i was the one who ogranized all her food and drinks, even bought them for her for fks sake! then i was asking her if shes back with her ex bf but she wouldn't tlel me so i'm like "why u wont u tell me?! afraid i'm gonna ignore u or something?! so everything i done for u is nothing?!" so we end up arguing on the phone and i hung up on her cos i was on a frecken payphone (dont ask) cos i was out so when i got home i txt her "if everything i did for u was nothing, then u really hurt me as a friend, i did my best to make u happy, supported u and done everything i could for u" she only replied "is that how u think, then ok" so i got pissed and said "yeh i know u dont care cos u got ur fkn adrian (her ex bf) , he should be the one doing wat i was doing" so she replied me "hey y u need to put adrian in this? if ur angry with me then angry with me not him ok = = yeh if i didnt consider u as a gud friend then i would let u die last mon, if u wanna think dat only u have pout much effort for me then fine aiihh, anything u wnat to say, i even told u not to put so much time on me and not to be so nice to me and now ur blaming all the stuff on me, thank u very much" then we end up fighting more on the phone so we ended our friendship there.. cos i'm tired of being treated shit and doing all those stuff for her, theres plenty of fish out in the sea as my friend keeps sayign to me
the only thing she said to me was "i think u spent too much time on the girl u like" and that was 3 weeks ago, so i kept a distant away from her but she kept coming back to me and lead me on again... all my friends said she was just using me and one of my friends even had a fight with her cos of me cos he went up to he and said "u gotta stop using people unconsiously, stay a distant away from him" but she got pissed about that so i guess she really was using me without her self knowing and now shes with her fuking ex bf so basicly all my effort was for nothing. right now i dont think i even wanna be friends with her again cos if thats how i'm gonna be treated then fuk this shit, as u can see i am very pissed off
>>596
Welcome to life.
Thats pretty much what ALWAYS happens (to me at least)
Women are abusive. You just gotta learn from this and next time don't fall in love, a crush or "oh she's cute" is enough.
Falling in love, 90% always results in heartbreak.
I've pretty much grown away from having any feelings like these.
shes doing the attention seeker thing atm, my friend whos also keeping a distant away from her is suddenly being treated nice out of no where, shes blabbing on how shes sick and crying at night now. i'm just ignoring her but i bet shes waiting for me to start talking to her again, my friend told me to get my camera back but i'm just gonna leave it like this so everytime she uses that camera it reminds her of the stuff i done for her. at the look of the situation, apparnetly she lost her ex bf cos i saw on her msn name "i just lost wat i just won T_T"
say if she does talk to me, should i just ignore her for wat she did to me? or just act normal and nice as uaual cos my friend said if she does talk to me just be normal and nice like you usualy are but my other friends are like "ignore that bitch! tell her to give back your camera and fuck off!", which one is better?
Women are not abusive any more than men are. You can't put women on a pedestal and say that a cute girl can do no wrong, but you also can't say that all women are apt to cause men only pain and suffering... Women and men are pretty much the same on the inside, I think. We just have such a hard time communicating our feelings to one another that our real emotions get lost in translation.
Girls on the other hand, almost always hurt you. You need to look for someone mature who isn't going through teen-angst-zOMG-death first. In other words, find a woman, not a girl.
Don't demand your camera back like that... That's just being a low-life. Obviously this girl has some issues she needs to work out before she can form real friendships with anyone if she's subconsciously using everyone close to her. She needs to grow up. That's about the end of it. Let her deal with that stuff on her own. Until then, I don't really think you should have very much to do with her. Focus on finding people who aren't going to jerk you around to be friends with. Don't ever regret the time you could be spending with her; if she makes you miserable, leave her behind and never look back. Your feelings come first.
Also, 600 GET.
>>599 i'm basicly gonna forget her and move on cos i tried to sort things out with her but shes just pissing me off by being random and saying she doesn't care etc. so i dont think its worth getting all depressed cos of her =/ i'm just gonna learn from my mistakes.
allthough i thought i was over her, but it stil not fully gone =[ i stil remember some stuff that beings back memories.
For a guy of your age, you seem to spend an ridiculous amount of time and effort thinking about girls/romance. Take it from a girl; this is unattractive. It oozes of desperateness, clingly-ness and immaturity. Most girls want to see security in a guy. Someone who can support her and is self assured themselves. In other words, someone who doesn't crave for her affection 24/7.
2. Like >>599 said, don't take back the camera. That's just plain insincere and unmanly. When you give someone something as a gift, don't even intend to take it back. If you're going to have regrets, don't give it at all in the first place. She owns the camera now, not you. That is the whole point of a gift. It is up to her judgement whether she gives it back to you or not -not yours.
3. I really have to question whether she is actually using people "unconciously". Either she is very, very dense, to not realise she is using people, or you and your friends have been deceived by her sweet, innocent mask. The latter is much more likely. Trust me on this point as well, I'm a girl. Seriously, 99% of girls are very perceptive of these kind of things by mid-adolescence. They know more than they actually let on. If she is actually unconsciously using people, then she would be an innocent girl. However, this is definitely not the case because she threw your efforts into your face, and then was seeking sympathy from who-ever would listen.
4. Benson, pick yourself up and move on. I don't think you should be considering a relationship until you've sorted out your personal issues first. You threw in a not so subtle hint about your state of mind. I suggest that you mature a bit yourself. Shit happens. Don't go off and mope/wrists/cry/whinge about it. You need to learn something from this experience. Don't throw yourself at a girl's feet and put your heart on the line from the beginning. It is destined for failure and you could be saving yourself a lot of unnecessary pain.
For your sake, I hope you actually take what I've written to heart. I don't mean to discourage or insult you, but you never seem to listen to the sensible advice that is given to you.
>>602 After a very long self think for the last month, ur 100% right. lets just call the previous one "camera girl", ur right that i've spent way too much time especially with camera girl that it caused a massive drama and now i have to work hard to catch up at school, ur also right because i also spent too much time focusing on lyss in the past that it completly creeped her out and gave her a hard time. intill now i finally understand why i've been a major failure and that is because i was way too obsesed with them when i fell for them. I've been jumping from one girl to another girl which would make me look like a major playboy or somesort.
over the past month, it took time to get over camera girl but time does heal eventually. i didnt ask for the camera back and never kept contact with her either, i talked to lyss about what happened and she wanted to talk to camera girl to see both stories but i told her not to bother because i was afraid that camera girl might make up stuff and stuff my friendship with lyss plus at the time i was trying to get over her so i thought it would be a better idea if i didnt talk about the camera girl.
I havnt been like i use to be, obsese and acting desprate but instead changed all those bad habbits. incase i didnt mention in the past i had 2 fights with lyss which wouldve caused us to break our friendship for a long time but after giving some time we ended back like we use to be, supporting each other and even studied together through the net. i'm not like i use to be acting 24/7 on her which i think made her feel more confortable being friends with me now. even lyss said i've become much better but my thoughts are stil naive which i stil need to change. so instead of just ignoring advice people give me, i'm taking the advice and changing to be more mature.
i must admit that alot of things have happened this year especially i'm about to finish high school in 9 days. theres been alot of depression not just due to romance but some personal things as well, but i think it was better i go through them this year so i can learn from those mistakes and change before its too late as >>602 said. i for once FINALLY learn my lessons and awaken from a world of obsesity.
so at the moment, i'm NOT going to focus on a particuly person or love interest, instead just be friends. because i beleive you dont really need a certain lover in life, what you really need are friends. although lyss to me is still special as shes done quite alot for me in the past but i will just remain good friends with her as it seems to work out better like that and make my self a more mature and better person so i can maintain this relationship with her and not stuff it up again like in the past. to be honest i am surprised that she gave me a 2nd chance and stil care about me after how much stress i've given to her. she really is a true friend, to me at least.
I'm going to finally confess to lyss by making a video about the thread and how much shes inspired me and upload to the net so its a public confession, i've waited long enough for this, two years waiting....i will upload it on April the 19th, its my final thing i will do for her whether the results will be good or bad, i just want to tell her everything.
So how did it go? o.o...its been 3 months
she rejected me, in the bitchiest way you can imagine...been depressed for a month after but finally move on from it =/ dont even talk to her and dont think i want to either. havnt really spend that much time on girls like in the past, i take my time now.
if previous post in this thread read this, i wanna apologize for not fully taking your advice from the beginning, all i could say i was stubborn guy who was desperate and ALWAYS thought i knew what i was doing but the truth was that i never knew what i was doing =/ and because of those stupid stubbornness i keep creating a tragic story for my self. i could only say many things have happened this year and i FINALLY learned my lesson.
recently i have someone in mind, but because we have a good relationship going on (as in close friends) i really dont want to loose, i'm really scared of loosing someone close to me because of the experience with lyss. its going well with her so far cos she think i'm talented since i've been making my own music this year and reckons i'm a pro at piano, plus we've been here for each other for about 2 years, so if we do go out i reckon it'll work out great, but the problem is i doubt she feels the same way i feel. the thing that annoys me is i dont wanna rush it but then i dont want to take to slow before someone else takes her =/ what do i need to do to develop a relationship with her?
>>607 Take her out on a DATE. Say "DATE". You need to get out of the friend zone before it's too late..maybe it already is, but you'll never found out without trying.
so, ah.. where's the video?
oh god, I read the whole thread today, can't belive It's been going on for so long.
about the latest girl, I'd be flirting and friendly at the same time, if you can manage that.
for example being very huggy and complimenting her, but NOT in a way that let's her think your interested.
she'll probably fall easier for you if you treat her like she's someone you'd want to have sex with rather than have as a girlfriend.
and when your sure she likes you, you heel her in and live happily ever after.
but then you shouldn't listen to me, I'm a strange girl, so I don't know how the usual kind works.
>"she'll probably fall easier for you if you treat her like she's someone you'd want to have sex with rather than have as a girlfriend."
NO! You need to show something like sex is NOT what your only interested in. Showing or especially TREATING someone only like you want to have sex with them is NOT the way to go. That will probably piss her off. You need to remain as friendly as possible but not too much. Find out some of her interests if you can, and if possible show your into them too. Before considering a relationship, you should work on getting her to know you, and think very positively of you. However, I do agree with 610 about complimenting her, but not overly, and not in a super way that immediately gives it away that you like her, because coming off too quickly like that most of the time may potentially cause game over. ;-;
Do you know at all if she shows any signs of liking you? o.o
-HK
I wouldn't be surprised if OP had a School Days ending.
I think it'd be kind of funny.
But on a serious note, highschool will be a distant memory; time moves really fast.
Before you know it, you're 50 and wonder what the fuck you did with your life.
Also, being yourself and not worrying about girls would probably be your best bet to actually meet/bump into someone who is genuinely interested in you.
Yeah you may form friendships with girls who won't regard you for anything more than a friend but you're still young and you'll have plenty of chances - hopefully you've learned from your mistakes with Aya, Manda, Lyss, Old girl etc etc etc.
School Days had a rather wide variety of endings anyway.
>>612 Lol by school day ending i hope your not referring to when the main character gets stabbed 20 million times.....but i have to agree even i would find it amusing if it ended up like that lol
>>611 hmm i can say she really knows me, like we're really close, she trust me and i trust her, i've been supporting her alot this year esp shes in yr 12 and i'm in uni already. shes told me alot of personal stuff about her self and her family, but the other day i called her about the time i was gonna meet up with her, she sounded normal but right after i hand up she sends me a sms saying "hey sorry if i sound pissed off, just bit stressed these days, nothing against you!!" . i don't think it means anything but she hasn't shown anything like this before, and shes got something shown on her msn that she likes someone but dont know who cos it only says "<3LY" on it, she avoid the question when i ask what it meant and kept changing the subject, i find it weird cos if she does like someone thats not me i dont think theres anything to hide esp shes told me more personal stuff then her love life =/ i dunno maybe its just me, plus shes shown alot of caring signs to me like she thought i sounded down but i was just tired, so shes like "get some rest kk, plz" which is also the first time shes said something to that extend. I've had a real thought about it these days, i'm afraid of stuffing up her studies if i let her know i like her, but then i have to do it by end of this year cos i reckon once she gets into uni next year she'll def find someone else =/ either i think too much or maybe i have to wait for the right time.
>>映画男 sorry for long post, but meaningful -
Hmm, whether you think so or not, this last paragraph has brought up some very interesting points!! (^-^)/ Let me explain:
1.For one major thing here, it seems to me that she's able to talk to you pretty deeply, and if she is even able to talk personal things like those, then it's showing that she "feels comfortable" with you. This is a VERY major thing here!
2.It is very good that you show so much support! Keep it up!
3.What she said after hanging up, it does mean something. It shows that yes, she is stressed, but wants you to know that it's not you, and also shows that she may have "worried" about you thinking it might been you. Meaning she cares about what you might be thinking.
4.You are very right about the fact that she shouldn't have to avoid asking about what's on her site if it's not you. That really shows that she may really be thinking about you like that, but her hesitance and avoiding that she did, may mean she may not know how you would react if she did tell you, and she may be wondering if she did tell you, what your reaction might be, and is currently unsure, possibly waiting for you to show signs of those things.
5."get some rest kk, plz". That shows caring, even about something small, it does mean something!
Now, it's about when to tell her. I see what you mean about the difficult decision of when to. I beleive that if you do in fact tell her before the year is over, and it does work out, and she's happy about it, and your continued support for her continues, it should give her strength. In other words, my gf is having a rough time dealing with the hardness of school, and I am always there for her, and she always lets me know how much strength I give her, that helps her get through stressful times like with studies or school.
Now, if it DOESN'T work out, and you tell her before year is over, it may bring an awkward feel to your friendship, and it may or may not "stuffing up" her studies as you mentioned. So it's a little risky to do something like that. But then again, there is always the chance of you not doing anything and another guy comes along...which is GAME OVER. ;-;
You don't think too much. Sometimes it's good to think alot, and since you have, you've brought up useful points! However we should really be focusing on when to tell her...hmm. I'll think for a while...don't forget 映画男! H.K. is totally behind you man!
-H.K.
>>615 thanks alot for your support =] really appreciate the help you giving me, i would love to think positive points to the situation but everytime that happens, i always seem to screw it up =/
my current situation doesnt seem so good =/ she hasnt picked up any of my calls, or reply any messages or emails that i've sent, she was suppose to meet me the other day for a movie but she said she couldnt come cos of some stupid things thats been happening lately =/ i was worried so i sent a email asking her wats wrong etc, but no reply at all atm =[
and your right H.K if it doesnt work, it'll be extremely akward for both of us, and that will ruin my friendship with her =/ which means i'll loose someone close to me again and i really dont want that to happen =[ so i really need to know when to do it/how to do it so it doesnt stuff up =/ gosh this is tough, but i'm not gonna give up!!
>>映画男
No problem really. :D
I read the whole thread a few days ago, and I can say I am touched by your story, and truly wish you the best in the end of it! But, it's not over yet! And you're right, you can't just constantly be positive, because you have to be concerned with certain things at some points! But you can't let yourself become negative either!
Truly, the ultimate battle!!! :O
The first point in your >>616 post, that I notice here, is "stupid things thats been happening lately". <- What's with that? Did she even tell you what things "stupid things" are? If not then that could be bad...she might have made it up if so.
No reply? ouch...but don't assume the worst just yet!
Maybe, if possible, call or leave a message, letting her know that you're concerned. EXAMPLE: "Hey, um, I was just calling to say hi, and I've been a little concerned about you lately...I would like to talk to you sometime, k, ttyl!"
^something like that would be nice. If you can't get her to talk to you, then leave a message like this to show concern, since really it's the truth, that you're concerned right? If you don't know what's bothering her then you don't have any clue if it's anything related to you in any way. Even if you've already done this, and hasn't worked, keep trying every now and then, but not too much! Main point in trying to get a hold of her is to find out what's wrong right? I think if you show some kind of concern in a message she may call you or message you somehow...
anyway...it's a step. x.x
Btw, are you sure if she's single?
Best wishes >>映画男
No problem really. :D
I read the whole thread a few days ago, and I can say I am touched by your story, and truly wish you the best in the end of it! But, it's not over yet! And you're right, you can't just constantly be positive, because you have to be concerned with certain things at some points! But you can't let yourself become negative either!
Truly, the ultimate battle!!! :O
The first point in your >>616 post, that I notice here, is "stupid things thats been happening lately". <- What's with that? Did she even tell you what things "stupid things" are? If not then that could be bad...she might have made it up if so.
No reply? ouch...but don't assume the worst just yet!
Maybe, if possible, call or leave a message, letting her know that you're concerned. EXAMPLE: "Hey, um, I was just calling to say hi, and I've been a little concerned about you lately...I would like to talk to you sometime, k, ttyl!"
^something like that would be nice. If you can't get her to talk to you, then leave a message like this to show concern, since really it's the truth, that you're concerned right? If you don't know what's bothering her then you don't have any clue if it's anything related to you in any way. Even if you've already done this, and hasn't worked, keep trying every now and then, but not too much! Main point in trying to get a hold of her is to find out what's wrong right? I think if you show some kind of concern in a message she may call you or message you somehow...
anyway...it's a step. x.x
Btw, are you sure if she's single?
Best wishes 映画男!! Never give in! -H.K.
oh man sorry >.< I double posted in my >>617 post XD I had copied it so I wouldn't lose it if my connection went down because I'm having a couple connectivity issues right now lol. sorry!
-H.K.
>>617 I got a reply back the other day saying "yeh sorry for not telling you anything lol, hows things going?", seems like she's fine. I'm gonna try ask her out this friday for a movie, hopefully she can go. I've only called her like once every two days or so for the last 5 days to see whats going on, but she hasn't picked up, which is normal lol cos her phone is always on silence and apparently there is this guy who keeps calling her none stop, but i'm not too worried about the guy cos i know who it is lol, his just really desperate for girls.
>>映画男
Hmm, I see. We'll at least things seem a better than your last post >>616 :) Maybe things will keep looking up!
And yes, it's good you know who the guy is and his reason for calling her. What a jerk lol.
We'll, good luck Eiga! I hope things go well when you ask her out!
-H.K.
It's already been a day since Eiga was supposed to ask her out...it's so quiet in here...~_~
sorry for late reply - -
well i went out with the girl, with other friend as well but that wasnt such a problem lol. she seem to always bump into me and gets really close to me, which is a good sign i think =] we went for a movie as a group (i paid for her movie), after the movie she came back to my apartment cos she said she wanted to see where i live (i live by my self now in the city with a roommate from high school), first thing she does is ask if she can borrow my T-shirt so its more comfortable. next thing she does she helps me wash my dishes - - which i feel pretty bad about while me and 3 other guys are playing card games, i kept asking if she needs help but shes like "nah its ok! you guys play". later on me, her and one of my friend went to the supermarket to buy some food cos she waned me to cook, on the way home she said she didnt feel too good so i carried her home. after dinner, we went to the river for a walk including 2 other guys, we sat there and she said her hands were cold so i said "here' and held her hands to warm them up ;D she didnt let go and i have to say her hands were seriously cold - - on the way home, she armlock with me, went back to my place again and talked, on the way to send her to the tram stop, i said i was gonna carry her stuff and she just looked at me and kept smiling without saying anything. i think things are going very well ;D but there a major problem shes having which i'm doing my best to help that i think i'll tell you guys on the next post. Eiga out =]
>i said i was gonna carry her stuff and she just looked at me and kept smiling without saying anything.
You probably should (or at least could) have kissed her at that point, you know?
>>623 couldnt really do it cos there were other people around =/
the problem i was talking about on my previous post, is that the girl right now has very big financial problems, i shouldnt really talk about it here but overall, the problem is big enough that she wont be able to stay in school next term apparently. I really want to help her out but i really dont know how =/ i offered her half of what i get in my job which is like $150 AUD an hour. last night i told her that "thing may be bad right now but trust me, everything will work out =], i promise you that i'll be here for you with help and support till the very end" and she replied back sayinh "aaww..thanks so much, i seriously need this, and your support means alot," i'm helping her find a job at the moment and told her to go look for some short courses in university that she can take, money seems to be the biggest problem for her now since her parents are over seas etc (cant really say anything =/) what should i do?
>>623 couldnt really do it cos there were other people around =/
the problem i was talking about on my previous post, is that the girl right now has very big financial problems, i shouldnt really talk about it here but overall, the problem is big enough that she wont be able to stay in school next term apparently. I really want to help her out but i really dont know how =/ i offered her half of what i get in my job which is like $150 AUD an hour. last night i told her that "thing may be bad right now but trust me, everything will work out =], i promise you that i'll be here for you with help and support till the very end" and she replied back sayinh "aaww..thanks so much, i seriously need this, and your support means alot," i'm helping her find a job at the moment and told her to go look for some short courses in university that she can take, money seems to be the biggest problem for her now since her parents are over seas etc (cant really say anything =/) what should i do?
btw sorry for double posting =[ clicked twice by accident
dude, i think ur obsessed over girls. no offense though, eiga otoko. i'm a chinese too. but i reckon at first, u wanted to seek advice about long-distance relationship n that was ok. but then from there, u started to jump from one girl to another. maybe u should leave girls out of your mind for a bit? i don't know- just giving some decent advice =]
u know how when u lose stuff, u seem to never be able to find it no matter how hard u look? then, for some reason, when u stop looking for it, it comes back to u. well, love is sorta like that. u won't be able to find true love by searching endlessly for it. u just have to wait for the right moment for it to come to u. =]
>>627 No! I really don't think he's obsessed at all. There's nothing wrong with him searching for that someone out there. >>627 You have some points, about the way love is, with it coming to you and all, I know this...for a fact. But if you don't have the will to search, or have the amazing will as Eiga does, then who knows if you'll even have the will to maintain when "it" does come.
Eiga Otoko! DON'T GIVE UP! You're so close right now! Things have changed tremendously now! She has shown many good signs! And I'm so proud of you! The good signs you have shown, many have shown as well! Always be there for her, and be as kind as you can! You're soaring now Eiga! Now we gotta keep you in flight!
As for what you should do...Well, being so supportive is really already the first start...if you feel you can help her out financially, that's your choice, and showing her how much you're willing, and how much you care is a BIG impact! From what you've told us in the last 2 big posts of yours, is that you've made some pretty big important impacts here. Keep it up!!
Helping her so much with money and job and advice and all...you're doing it! You're doing exactly what you should do. I for one can't think of anything else you can really do right now. Just never stop the support! It means more than you may know!
You're awesome Eiga! Keep soaring!!!
-HK
Eiga! It's been 15 days! ;-;
Hope all is still well! ^_^
-HK
Quite interesting story of you.. may i know where you are?
Apparently, Eiga Otoko is from Australia, I believe.
T-T and still hasn't returned...now it's been almost 18 days!
About 38 days and counting...
>>627 probably screwed everything up >.<
映画男! Did something bad happen?? T_T It's ok to come back here. I wont think badly of you. You've gotta be here...;-;
D: sorry for not replying for ages, i've been so busy with production cos i was working on a music video and recording music. hmm its going pretty good with the girl, seeing as i was so busy i only got to keep on contact with email. surprisingly in her email she admitted she bitched about me once a year ago and it was understandable cos i had a fight with her best friend last year cos she was being really stalkish to me so i forgave her for that =]
shes never called in since i known her, last friday out of the blue she called me and asked me what she can get for her sisters 24th bday cos she was looking for present, so i came and helped her out which turned out pretty good, was really surprised that she called me, so things are going pretty good.
her birthday is coming up soon and i'm deciding what will be good to give her, seeing that shes turning 18 i think i should get someone nice, any suggestions?
Well, it's been about a month and a half...wonder how Eiga's doing...
sorry for all the slow replies D:
she broke up with me on her birthday =/
>>635 lol, close enough, more of rejection.
i havnt been doing much since the day she rejected me, though hurt as usual and thought i lost the one i really love, however i realized loosing one, i gained one. i found a girl whos been close to me for this entire year, i never realized i had one next to me till now, we love each other and i finally get a happy ending = ] waited for quiet a long time but i finally found my happiness, i want to spend my time wisely with her and cherish all the moments = ]
i guess thats the end of my story haha
lol sadly my story continues as the girl was just playing around with me.... *sigh
the story goes on
Don't give up Eiga!