>> Has a pocket protector made of gold
>>501 insists on using his tripcode, everywhere, to the point that he's affixed to his back a gigantic cardboard slab painted #EFEFEF, with his tripcode in bright #CCFFCC, MS PGothic.
>>502 used an expensive color calibrator to make sure the shade of paint matched up to a PC monitor response curve in fairly normal outdoor lighting, and was dissatisfied that it would not look exactly correct with even minor changes in lighting.
>>503 Paints every room in hous house to look like the Tron game grid.
>>504 Models for a pocket-protector catalog and is also the publisher of said catalog.
>>506 Has a pocket protector with more extra functions than Batman's belt, Speed Racer's car, and Inspector Gadget's coat combined.
>>508 invented a wrapper class in Java called Mittens, its purpose of which is turning data types into strings and enclosing the resultant text in parentheses. He believes that in this way all data will become winter-safe, thus keeping it warm should it fall into disuse.
I don't care if >>509 is a nerd because that is a brilliant idea
>>511 Invented a virus that hacks into each sound princess ever built. I makes the sound of a young woman taking a loud enormous crap.
>>512 is so geeky that he didn't have to look up what a "sound princess" is. He's also so geeky that he was afraid to seize the power-of-two-GET for fear it would make him look even more geeky.
>>513 Invented a computer program that searches for boards like this, with threads that are going to have a significant GET number.
He has 666 666GETs bragging about his collection or Iron Maiden stuff.
When all the regulars from >>514's favorite IRC channel had a meet-up, he was the nerdiest guy there.
>>516 Invented a nerdy currency where all coins have a famous scientist or sci-fi author in them, and all of them are a power of 2 number.
>>517 collects and eats devalued Zimbabwean currency, then writes online reviews about each vintage.
>>518 prints devalued Zimbabwean currency from his mother's basement
>>520 Beat Silver Surfer for the Nintendo NES. He didn't use an emulator or save states.
>>527 was been turned into the machine code by an evil wizard in D&D.
>>528 is responsible for the "I wish. It's machine code" image macro/meme from the Imageboard that Shall Not Be Named.
>>529 is responsible for every single meme that originated from that board in 2005.
>>531 is torn between buying media to support artists and 'copying' it from WWW.
>>532's fiber optic connection always finishes his downloads before he can make that decision.
>>533's fiber optic connection terminates in an Ethernet plug that he connects directly to a socket in the side of his skull. ...wait a minute, did we wrap around from "nerd" all the way to "crazy awesome?"
>>534 runs every single one of his music files through professional audio tools just to make sure he gets perfect EQ.
>>535 Created the entirety of this article http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Unnamed_USS_Enterprise_%28NCC-1701-D%29_personnel
>>537 shouts, "Madre de dios! Es el pollo diablo!" on any occasion.
>>539 carries pocketfuls of dissimilar items in order to show off his MacGuyver-esque skill set every chance he gets.
>>540 gets an erotic thrill when his psychological stab-in-the-dark personal posts hit home. Also everyone calls him "nerdy" behind his back.
>>543's life story inspired someone in Kyoto to create Lucky Star.
>>544 hunts with an antique 14th-century muzzle-loading hand cannon.
Sometimes it hits.
>>545 Invented his own gun and took it to the firing range. It blew up half the building, and he was banned from all gun ranges after that. The people who witnessed it paid him a fortune for him to build more guns, enabling him to repair the gun range. >>545 also had enough money to build his own gun range, buy the first Spider Man comic book ever made, 28 animation cells from the most famous scenes in anime, 5 of the most famous Nissan GT-R models, and a house that has a copy of the interior of the Starship Enterprise. He still has enough money in the bank to retire comfortably.
>>546's rambling, too-detailed messages comprise the majority of Larry Niven's fan mail.
>>548 has a T-shirt with a sarcastic regular expression.
>>551 giggles like a school girl at jokes hidden in google, such as http://www.google.com/search?&q=the+loneliest+number
>>553 bought a Malibal Satori for $1300 solely to play Touhou.
>>555 is currently browsing DQN on his work computer.
...and has entered into an infinite recursion of time.
>>557 can't grasp the reason why his colleagues never laugh at his jokes.
When >>560's friends want to push his buttons, they talk about string theory.
When >>561's friends want to pull his strings, they talk about buttons--in which he has nearly an autistic level of interest.
>>565 takes pains to never go anywhere outside of walking distance unless he can make it sound like he beamed in on a Federation transporter while everyone was looking away.
>>566 lives in Stephen Hawking's backyard, teaching himself lockpicking on every door in the house and leaving inspirational gifts and letters for his favourite physicist in the exact centre of every room.
>>567 has a professional digital camera and a collection of expensive lenses (which he carries with him on every Japanese Pop-culture convention).
>>571's normal clothing consists completely of bell-bottomed striped pants, which he wears with the belt just below his armpits, and colorful plaid shirts.
>>572 Has a shape-shifting device that is is clothing. He can reprogram it to be any style he wishes, and can change styles in .01 seconds.
However, >99% of the time, it is a basic lab coat with a pocket protector.
>>573 was voted "most likely to be eaten by a grue" by the members of his Pascal class.
>>574 was voted "most likely to consider Pascal a new-fangled useless gimmick" by the members of his Fortran class.
>>575 advertised a class called "Writing Device Drivers in Brainfuck and INTERCAL" and no one showed up.
>>576 posted to a newsgroup asking whether anybody would like to help him write an OS in Brainfuck and/or INTERCAL, but no one replied.
>>577 created a newsgroup related to writing OSes in Brainfuck and/or INTERCAL
>>581 insists on referring to the Falklands War as the "Argentinian Liberation of British Patagonia Meridional"
>>582 insists on referring to the Falklands War as the "attempted Argentinian Liberation of British Patagonia Meridional". Gotta be precise, yo.
>>583 insists on referring to the Falklands War as the "Liberation of Falkland Islands by Her Majesty's Armed Forces"
>>584 has a mint condition copy of Up The Falklands! Cartoons From The Royal Marines in his collection of cartoon strip books.
>>586 knows how to make incredible hidden camera videos without getting caught.
>>591 Knows what will happen if magical girl anime characters from different series fight each other. He wrote a 100 page book titled "Sailor Moon versus Card Captor Sakura."
>>592 owns the first edition of said book and has never once opened it in order to keep it in mint condition.
>>593 owns three copies. One to read, one to keep in mint condition, and one to give to a friend.
>>594 just put all previous posts to shame with that horrific quote.